Have you missed our beloved Raccoon McPantless? I have. We haven’t talked about her in so long! She’s just SO HARDCORE. I missed edgy and street-tough Cindy Lou Who. I personally think Raccoon McPantless was ahead of the raccoon-curve. She is clearly Duchess Kate’s style inspiration. Anyway, Raccoon has been keeping a lower profile ever since she got fired/pushed out of Gossip Girl. She’s just been focusing on her band, The Pretty Reckless, and I think she’s been on tour with them for the better part of a year. Now Raccoon covers the February/March issue of the UK’s FHM, and she’s just a sparkling gem in this interview. A gem covered in Wet N’ Wild liquid eyeliner and glue-gun-applied studs.

Raccoon McPantless is a mess when she’s not working: “I’m completely neurotic, totally anxious and high-strung all the time. I can work 24 hours a day and not have it bother me. I sleep for about four hours a night, or day, really. I go to bed at 9 a.m., sleep for four hours, then get up and start the day again. To be honest, I don’t know what to do when I’m not working. I lose my mind if I’m not constantly doing something.”

Raccoon McPantless loves stripper shoes: “I love stripper shoes and I always try to find the tallest ones. I’m always surprised no one talks about my shoes. I’m, like, on stage in 15-inch heels but people talk more about my eye make-up, which has stayed the same forever. I always think that’s funny. I got into heels when I was little, though. My mom’s really short so she always wears really tall heels and I used to steal them and now it’s just a part of my everyday life.”

Raccoon loves rainy, gloomy weather: “I love [the UK] I love that it’s always kind of gloomy. I don’t like the sun. Every now and again I want to go to the beach and be in the sun, but that’s a very rare feeling, so I could live in London, definitely. I like the rain. I like the gloom, and everyone’s got such an attitude, be it a good or a bad one. I like that everyone who you meet has a distinct personality.”

Raccoon doesn‘t like guys who try: “I don’t like guys who overdress. And I don’t like guys who try too hard. My biggest thing is be yourself. Be yourself and if people don’t like you, then they can suck a d–k. If they don’t like you, then they’re not the type of person you should be around. I don’t like people who pretend to be something to fit into a certain crowd or guys who pay more attention to how they look than you do – that’s not a good thing.”

[From Us Weekly & The Mirror]

I guess I should mention that Raccoon is finally of age – she turned 18 last July. So, we don’t have to wring our hands over Raccoon being so young and so… ridiculous. She’s now legally allowed to be this ridiculous. I know she says most of this stuff just to be “shocking” but I kind of liked the line, “Be yourself and if people don’t like you, then they can suck a d–k.” I hate to say it, but that should be my motto too. Damn it, Raccoon! I hate when she makes sense.

Photos courtesy of FHM.

It’s been too long since we had a story about our beloved Raccoon McPantless. She’s still pantless, obviously, and she’s still applying her eye makeup with a shovel, of course. She’s also decided to officially end her acting career at the ripe old age of 17. She’s done all she can do, people! It’s now time for the Raccoon McPantless Music Moment. Raccoon has a new interview in Elle Mag where she discusses her old career, her new career, and how it’s hard out there for a raccoon:

Dressing for her first concert in Japan, in the summer: “Um…I don’t think we do anything differently. I wore a dress that’s made out of straps [laughs while pointing at her outfit]. I actually don’t know [where I got it], I found it at a little boutique in London. Honestly, most of my clothes I’ve had for a long time, or a lot of it is vintage and I modify it and change it. So I kind of wear the same things over and over, variations of them. Along the way [on tour I might] buy something cool; if not, I’ve got a plethora of versions of the same things.” Momsen also says she’s wearing “stripper boots.”

Beauty essentials for the road trips: “I tend not to bring a lot. [Just] a lot of black eyeshadow, and dry shampoo because a lot of the time you don’t have time to wash your hair or shower, it’s very chaotic. So black eyeshadow and dry shampoo and I’m good to go. I love the Bed Head black eyeshadow. If I can’t find it, whatever works, whatever is the blackest eyeshadow I can find.”

On what she loves more, writing, recording, or performing music: “I love it all. They’re all very different: Writing is a very tortuous process, but, you know, I would say one of the most rewarding at the end; I love recording, it’s a completely different mindset from being on tour. But anytime you have an opportunity to play music, whether it’s in the studio or on the road, it’s the best thing in the world.”

On her acting career: “I quit acting, actually. I quit Gossip Girl and now tour and am in a band and that’s pretty much all I want to do. Hopefully I’ll be able to only do that for the rest of my life.”

[From Elle]

Raccoon didn’t sound so desperately try-hard in this interview, so I have some small hopes that she’s maturing now that she’s actually doing what she loves. Her withdrawal from the acting profession won’t be missed, I don’t think, and it’s obvious her heart and mind are with music now, so God bless. One thing, though: I don’t think she “quit” Gossip Girl. She was suspended indefinitely, and then fired. For cause.

Also: she likes “Bed Head” black eye shadow. I didn’t know Agent Bedhead had her own Raccoon brand! (JK).

Photos courtesy of WENN.

If you couldn’t tell by now, I’m pretty close to my mom. My mom is where I get my bitchy, judgmental, contemptuous side, and we also share an obsessive interest in celebrities (right?). My mom and I are more “friends” at this point than mother-daughter, although that wasn’t always the case. When I was a teenager, my mom was definitely my mother, and she could out-mom everybody – she’s a teacher too, so when all else fails, she puts on her judgy teacher voice and can cut anyone down to size.

My point? When I was seventeen, I wouldn’t have been able to pull off any part of what Raccoon McPantless is pulling off in these new photos. That’s Raccoon’s MOM in the photos. Raccoon is 17 years old, mind you. And she’s pantless and smoking a cig.

Do you know what my mom would have done if I had walked in like this at the age of 17? She would have grabbed the cigarette and put it out on my eyeball. And then when I was crying, she would have ordered me to put on some pants so I wouldn’t look like I was “advertising my whore services in the Penny Saver.” You know what? To this day, if I walked up to my mom like this, she would still do that. So what’s Raccoon Senior’s problem? Is she afraid of actually mothering her pantless daughter?

Photos courtesy of Fame.

These are new photos of our beloved Raccoon McPantless at Best Buy yesterday. Raccoon was signing copies of Light Me Up, the album she and The Pretty Reckless have already been promoting and touring with for a while. I have to say, although the girl is wearing a mountain of raccoon makeup, her outfit borders on the appropriate. Like, the dress is pretty and white and it’s a nice length and everything. Of course, Raccoon had to pair a pretty dress with fishnets, leather and crazy boots. That’s just the way raccoons roll these days.

Anyway, yeah, the album JUST came out earlier this week. Surprisingly, people kind of like it and Raccoon is being accepted as a mainstream, pantless vocalist/songwriter with genuine talent. Entertainment Weekly gave the album a B-, and even Bedhead shamefully admits to listening to it. Ugh – I guess we’re over making fun of her? NEVER.

Here’s Raccoon singing live – the song is called “Just Tonight”.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Last night was one of the many premieres of Never Say Never, the Justin Bieber docu-bangs-trauma. This movie is for children. Little kids are Bieber’s main fan base. So it’s shocking to me that Taylor Momsen was somehow invited to the LA premiere last night. Although she’s underage, Raccoon is not age appropriate. She’s not for children. Her fan base is not made up of anyone other than Dateline Predators (in my opinion). So instead of just being nondescript, Raccoon made a fashion statement – this is how she dressed for the premiere. Leather (or pleather) panties, garter, thigh highs and raccoon makeup. Ugh.

So it seems Our Little Raccoon is doubling-down on her sketchy jailbait image. She’s already been fired from representing Madonna and Lourdes’ Material Girl line. She’s been fired from Gossip Girl. She’s been bashed as unprofessional and dumb. And this is her answer – a headline-grabbing fashion stunt at a kid’s movie. Oh, Raccoon.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

This is weird news. After less than a year as “the face” of Madonna and Lourdes’s Material Girl line for Macy’s, Raccoon McPantless has been replaced. In and of itself, Raccoon getting fired is not a big deal – she gets fired all the time. She’s a very unprofessional raccoon. But her replacement is extremely odd… it’s Kelly Osbourne. Like, Kelly “I Lost Weight But I’m Still Really Vapid, BUT I’M THIN” Osbourne. No disrespect, but would you why would anyone want their clothes associated with Kelly? I’m honestly not trying to be mean. Is Kelly a fashionista? Nope. Is she known for wearing interesting things? Nope. I just don’t get it.

Kelly Osbourne is a material girl. The E! Fashion Police co-host, 26, will take over the spokesperson role previously held by Gossip Girl star Taylor Momsen.

“Material Girl is thrilled to confirm that Kelly Osbourne is the new face for 2011! We will be sharing all the details on this exciting new campaign in the upcoming weeks,” the rep confirms to UsMagazine.com.

Material Girl, designed by Madonna and her 14-year-old daughter, Lourdes, launched last summer with Momsen, 17, as its first spokesperson. On January 11, Lourdes, who writes the fashion label’s blog, announced the line was “desperately seeking” a new face.

Osbourne, it seems, was the natural choice. “Kelly’s always been a massive fan of Madonna and recently heard Lourdes idolized her, which she was very flattered by. It’s a huge coup,” a source told Britain’s Sunday Mirror.

The replacement is the latest hiccup for Momsen: In November she was reportedly suspended from Gossip Girl due to bad behavior. And in a December interview with Revolver magazine, Momsen blamed her parents for her “miserable attitude,” which she later apologized for.

[From Us Weekly]

Poor Raccoon. I mean, I’m glad she was ousted and I’m glad that whatever friendship Lola and Raccoon might have had is now over – Raccoon is a horrible influence. But surely they could have found someone else – someone more interesting – in this demographic who could appeal to the tweens? I don’t know… like, Zoe Kravitz? Jennifer Lawrence? One of the Fanning girls? Ugh.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

What are we going to do with little Raccoon McPantless? The girl is seriously dumb. Like, Jessica Simpson-level dumb. And our Raccoon is proud of her stupidity too – she doesn’t want to go to school or read a book or do anything besides be a pantless raccoon. Sigh… tough days ahead for Raccoons. Anyway, a few days ago, Raccoon was performing with her band, The Pretty Reckless, in Glasgow, Scotland. Yes, SCOTLAND. And our little Raccoon uttered these words to the crowd: “I heard that Glasgow is the craziest crowd in all of England!” Here’s the video:

It’s one pitfall of live music that has been experienced many slow-witted performers around the globe for years, but when you mistake a Scottish crowd for an English one, perhaps the act of ‘forgetting what country you are in’ is taken to a whole new level.

This is what happened to Taylor Momsen as she took to Glasgow with her band The Pretty Reckless on 13 December — and unsuprisingly she was on the receiving end of a symphony of boos as the crowd twigged onto her slip-up.

As reported by the Daily Record, she told the audience that her band have “heard that Glasgow is the craziest crowd in all of England”, but despite an initial cheer, her pep-talk statement fell flat on its face.

Paul Krane, who was at the gig, said: “People began to cheer as they presumed she was going to say Scotland, but when the penny dropped all you could hear was boos. It was right at the start of the gig and it took the shine off it. I was really looking forward to it, but after Taylor said that it just left a bad taste. She didn’t even apologise.”

Thankfully for the patriotic Scots, the Gossip Girl star took to Twitter after to apologise, but it might not hold quite enough repentance to ensure a smooth visit next time she is in Glasgow. She said, “Glasgow, I love you, I now HAVE to tour SCOTLAND (haha, sorry bout the slip up!)”

[From AOL UK]

Okay, at least she has a sense of humor about her dumb mix-up? Urgh… I guess. I also have to admit that I doubt most Americans would even see the problem with this – we’re not even great with our own geography, much less another’s country’s. Not everyone has a fetish for Scottish men, you know (mm… Butler moobs). Hopefully, Scottish men don’t have a thing for raccoons!

Thanks to Wanda for the tip!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

These are some new photos of our beloved Raccoon McPantless yesterday, performing with her band The Pretty Reckless in Paris. Oh, Raccoon. You are the epitome of HARDCORE. Anyway, Raccoon gave an interview to Celebuzz about… you know, being HARDCORE. And RACCOON. Actually, she discusses how her underage vadge got naked for her video “Make Me Wanna Die” (video at the end of the post), and how our little Raccoon wants to be some kind of spokesraccoon for masturbation. The full Celebuzz piece is here, and here are the highlights:

On going naked in her video: “It was held up in legal for a long time because I was 16 when we shot that. We couldn’t release it because, yes, I actually got naked.” (In the original video concept, Momsen strips down to the altogether while strolling through a graveyard; the eventually released version features a relatively more modest, lingerie-clad Momsen walking among the tombstones.)

Why did Raccoon want to get naked? What was her raccoon-reasoning? “It’s such a complex song – and the video really reflects the song, in the way that I’d die for this person. And the point is: if you don’t do something that’s making you happy, you’re just working through possessions and shit; you’re dying with nothing anyway. So I’m stripping off my worldly possessions and giving them away. And then there’s hell raining down, just cause it looks cool.”

The Spokesraccoon for masturbation: “I’m a promoter of masturbation. Don’t sleep around—learn yourself first! Guys do, but girls don’t. And that’s why girls have so many bad experiences. But you can know your body, know yourself, know what feels good. You don’t have to give yourself away just to have sexual relevance. Because I don’t think sex is something people should be afraid of. It’s part of human nature, so I don’t think it should be so shameful—particularly for girls and young girls.”

[From Celebuzz]

You know what? I kind of hate Raccoon and everything, and I think she’s a horrible little girl and a sucky role model for young women and she’s just completely cheesy and stupid and insipid all around, but I can’t really hate on her masturbation comments. She and I actually hold the same opinion about masturbation. SHOCK. I have a raccoon soul.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

True story: I’ve referred to her as variations on “Raccoon McPantless” for so long, I now get a brainfart when I’m trying to remember her real name. Anyway, this story seems like it happened months ago, but here we go again: Taylor Momsen has been indefinitely suspended from Gossip Girl. Now, Our Raccoon was already on “indefinite leave” from Gossip Girl, and that was announced back in April – but that was something to do with her touring and promotional schedule for The Pretty Reckless. This sounds like Raccoon just pissed people off:

Sorry, Taylor Momsen fans; you won’t be seeing Jenny Humphrey on the little screen for the rest of the year—unless it’s in reruns.

Deadline Hollywood reports that the 17-year-old Momsen—who’s developed a reputation for increasingly volatile behavior—has been placed on indefinite hiatus on Gossip Girl, following next Monday’s episode.

Momsen has only appeared on a handful of episodes so far this season, including an episode guest-starring fashion guru Tim Gunn, who had some not-so-nice things to say about her onscreen behavior and lack of devotion to her craft.

The hiatus will extend to at least four episodes, beginning with the December 6 mid-seaon finale.

[From Celebuzz]

Eh. I actually think it’s kind of rude for Gossip Girl producers to act like it’s some kind of SCANDAL and Raccoon is so unprofessional right now. I mean, hasn’t she been an unprofessional little bitch this whole time? And wasn’t she already on leave (sort of) from the show? Whatever. On this one, I hate to admit, I’m mildly on Team Raccoon, just because it seems like the producers are making an unprofessional move, doing this whole thing in public. Maybe they’re trying to get her to quit and break her contract?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Star Magazine has a photo examination of our favorite raccoon, Taylor Momsen. They are alleging that McPantless had a nose job, sometime around 2008, or perhaps 2009. They even got a doctor to chime in:

A lot has changed about Taylor Momsen’s appearance since she snagged the role of Jenny on Gossip Girl in 2007. Besides accenting her eyes with harsh raccoon like eye makeup, it looks like the 17-year-old has also gone under the knife and had a rhinoplasty.

“It appears Taylor has had a nose job,” says a NYC plastic surgeon named Dr. Michael Fiorillo. “Now it’s not as wide, and her nostrils appear to be slightly higher.”

Could her old nose grow back? Dr. Fiorillo says: “At her age, her nose is fully grown.”

[From Star Magazine]

CB and I were examining old photos of Raccoon, and we both saw a difference too – it’s subtle, but I do think she’s had some minor shaping done, and the bridge looks smaller. It’s so incredibly hard to tell, because the girl went from fresh-faced average-pretty girl to this raccoon monstrosity, and the makeup is so drastic.

In other Raccoon McPantless news, she recently gave a brief interview explaining why she’s so f-cked up. Guess whose fault it is? Mommy and daddy, of course. BUT – her parents do sound totally douchey. Momsen said:

“Everyone’s like, ‘Wow, why is she upset and why is she so miserable about things?’ My parents signed me up with Ford (modeling agency) at the age of two. No two year old wants to be working, but I had no choice. My whole life, I was in and out of school. I didn’t have friends. I was working constantly and I didn’t have a real life.”

[From Starpulse]

Is this the answer to all of Raccoon’s problems? And seriously, her parents sound like a–holes. It’s one thing to encourage your child to follow their dreams and applaud every performance. It’s quite another to push your kid over and over and over ever since the kid was 2 years old. And that, children, is how raccoons are made.

All photos courtesy of WENN. Thanks to CB for the side-by-side.