Whoever says Madonna and husband of eight years Guy Ritchie aren’t still madly in love with each other clearly doesn’t know what the hell they’re talking about. Or maybe they just don’t really know what love is – because Madge and Guy sure do. The singer shares her secrets for a happy home life with OK! magazine, so that the rest of us can emulate the lovey-dovey couple.

An admitted control freak, the singer reveals she and Guy are addicted to their blackberries, even sleeping with them under their pillows!

“We lie right next to each other with our blackberries under our pillows,” she laughs. “I often wake up in the middle of the night and remember that I’ve forgotten something so I jump up and make notes. Guy’s always waiting for me to come to bed, so he plays Brick Breaker on his blackberry until I’m ready!”

[From OK!]

Awww, how romantic! Really, is there anything sweeter or more loving than jumping out of bed in the middle of the night to write down that you need to do an extra 50 reps of some arm muscle-enhancing exercise at the gym at three in the morning? And I’m sure Guy is just waiting with baited breath for his loving wife to return to bed. I think sleeping with Blackberries under your pillow is the 21st century equivalent of sleeping in separate rooms. Although if I were sharing a bed with Madonna, I’d do whatever I could to keep her away. God forbid she try to arm wrestle you or something.

Madonna also discussed what an average day is like for her. Hint: it involves suppressing her kids’ personalities so they always know she’s in control, lean fish, tree houses, and guns. Sounds uncomfortably similar to my own childhood.

“We have chickens and build tree forts there,” the Michigan native, 49, says of Ashcombe House [the English countryside estate she owns]. “Lola rules the roost,” the singer says. “She is extremely maternal toward David but is in major competition with Rocco. But he’s starting to fight back.” Of not allowing her kids to watch TV or read magazines, Madonna says, “You have to show them who’s in charge. If you give in to them, they’re going to run your life.”

The singer tells OK! a typical day for her includes regular Pilates and dance aerobics, shooting, fishing and riding horses. “I love horses,” she says. “I think I may have been one of Henry VIII’s knights in another life, riding through a great forest.”

[From OK!]

Well that would explain her massive upper body strength and frigid, domineering nature. Okay I don’t know for a fact that knights were cold, but I really don’t imagine them as warm, “let’s go play with a puppy” type of guys. I could totally see Madonna being a knight in another lifetime. She very much strikes me as the kind of person who’d get a big kick out of impaling someone. Probably another reason Guy Ritchie should consider a separate bed.

Here’s Madonna leaving her gym in London on April 4th. Header of Madge and Guy Ritchie leaving Harry’s Bar in London on March 18th. Images thanks to WENN.

Yesterday Microsoft announced that it wants to buy Yahoo for $31 a share in an unsolicited offer. The bid represents a 62 percent premium on Yahoo shares. The two companies tried to make a go of it a year ago, but negotiations broke down. Whereas before they were considering a partnership, this time around Microsoft is offering to buy Yahoo.

It would be one of the largest technology acquisitions ever, and certainly the largest for Microsoft, dwarfing the company’s $6 billion deal for aQuantive last year. The offer comes as older, more established tech giants like Microsoft and Yahoo struggle to meet the newer threats posed by Google (GOOG: 524.24, -40.06, -7.09%), which dominates the online-search landscape.

“Our lives, our businesses, and even our society have been progressively transformed by the Web, and Yahoo! has played a pioneering role by building compelling, high-scale services and infrastructure,” said Ray Ozzie, chief software architect at Microsoft in a press release announcing the offer. “The combination of these two great teams would enable us to jointly deliver a broad range of new experiences to our customers that neither of us would have achieved on our own.”

[From Fox News]

Google claims not to be concerned about the potential acquisition, but we know they’re just playing it cool. It’s like that time in high school when that boy you liked asked out that other girl who was younger than you and you acted like you didn’t give a shit, but were actually throwing up in the bathroom for hours afterwards. Except that in this version, Steve Ballmer is not quite as cute as the guy you liked. Close though. Yahoo said it was giving “careful and prompt” consideration to Microsoft’s offer. Which means they’re not playing hard to get like you’re supposed to… yet. We’ll see if Yahoo and Microsoft end up being voted Prom King and Queen, or if Microsoft ends up sulking in the corner, picking at its face. At which point Google might decide to go to the dance after all, grab its tux from the closet, and sweep Yahoo right off her feet. Which would be a really sweet deal, because Google is close to having a near-monopoly over advertising revenue. Wait, I lost the analogy.

Picture Note by JayBird: Microsoft hotties Bill Gates (above) and C.E.O. Steve Ballmer (below).

Oink.cd was a free music sharing torrent site with a huge catalogue that rivaled Napster. It avoided prosecution for so long by only letting people in through invites, which were hard to come by and coveted. Like some of the invite-only paparazzi photo sharing communities that I have no personal experience with because all of our photos are now legally obtained and paid for, Oink became one of the main sources of a lot of pre-release CD leaked online, which would then trickle down throughout the Internet. It operated through torrents, which means that all files were hosted and downloaded from user’s computers, not from a central location, and had about 80,000 active members, according to Wikipedia.

Oink.cd is no longer in operation, having just been shut down by Interpol after investigations by music industry organizations The International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (IFPI) and the British Phonographic Industry (BPI). The guy thought to have started it, a 24 year-old computer worker from England, was arrested yesterday, his home and place of work searched and computers seized. He was released on bail today after being questioned for “suspicion of conspiracy to defraud and infringement of copyright” by British police. Servers were also seized in Amsterdam. News reports say he profited greatly from the site, and he may have made some money, but the site was free and operated on donations. I doubt anyone got much more than music out of the deal.

The media is hyping this into a big mysterious piracy ring bust, and I guess you could see it that way, but to me it’s just another way that the record industry has failed to keep up with technical demand. iTunes exists, and there are ways to buy some, but not all, digital music in formats that allow you to burn CDs and have it on more than one device. You usually can’t download a specific entire album you want, though, especially if it’s rare or older.

Several top artists are now without music contracts, and Radiohead just set a big precedent by offering their latest album, In Rainbows, online, with a price to be determined by the user. They’re probably making much more per download then they could per CD under the old obsolete rules, which the music industry is clinging to and defending with their last, raspy breath.

The website for Oink.cd has been replaced by a scary message saying it was shut down thanks to all these worldwide police agencies (Cleveland refers to Cleveland in the UK, not in Ohio) with a note that they’re going to look into the activities of users. People are naturally scared, but it’s doubtful police have the resources or the wherewithal to pursue even heavy sharers and downloaders, unless the music industry wants to go after them, and they might. After all, music licensing companies have hounded small coffee shops to pay royalty fees on cover songs performed by independent artists. They’ll stop at nothing.

You can understand how the music industry would want to shut down Oink, and it’s illegal to download music like that, but Napster was shut down 8 years ago. They’ve had enough chance to create a profitable rival, but instead they’ve just acted like bullies.

Here’s a good article about why Oink was so useful a music source

From inrainbows.com
Oasis, Madonna, Nine Inch Nails, Radiohead, Jamiroquai – the list of artists leaving major record labels continues to grow, and the current crop represents some of the biggest hit makers of the late 90s’. Is this a sign that the record industry business model is no longer workable? Or just a matter of corporate downsizing to make way for new talent?

In the past when artists left their record labels to go independent, it meant either their career was in serious decline or their name was formerly or currently Prince. At first look, Oasis and Jamiroquai might seem to fall in the former category; both haven’t had a stateside hit in years. But all the recent artist defections, especially Madonna who is leaving Warner Brothers for a 120$ million dollar deal with concert promoter Live Nation Inc, reflect a fundamental changes in the music industry.

With compact disc sales falling every year, these new indie artists are going where the money is- concerts, the Internet, and licensing deals. In the Madonna deal, Cd releases are little more than promotion for her concert tours - the last Madonna tour grossed over 200$ million. Radiohead posted their new album for free on their website and saw on-line merchandise sales skyrocket. A catalog of gen-x hits keeps Oasis, NIN, and Jamiroquai making big money through commercials and movie soundtracks.

The little secret of the music industry is that in the late 90’s, advances in home recording technology turned the labels from music makers into music distributors and promoters.
Now that Internet distribution is viable, bands with name recognition and a good publicist see the big labels as superfluous.

While these established artists might think they no longer need the big labels, the feeling is likely mutual. The major record labels have all but abandoned cultivating critically acclaimed artists in favor of quick single-download sales from new acts. With online single sales out pacing CDs, labels have little incentive to invest in groups like Radiohead who are known more for fully realized CDs than pop hits.

The music industry has grown too large and interwoven with other media companies to be in danger of completely folding. But the defection of well-known artists from the golden age of CD sales shows that every aspect of the music industry is in flux.

Kanye West has actually been pretty good to bloggers. While a lot of stars go off on the press and especially bloggers, Kanye mentioned one of our favorite sites, bossip as the site he goes to for gossip… and now he’s started his own blog, Kanye Universecity. I wonder if he’s getting paid for it, since he lists some of his favorite stores and brands, like a post on the Goyard x Alexis Mabille collab. Yeah, I didn’t recognize one of those words either, but I’m not fancy like Kanye. He’s got some pictures of himself and his fiancé Alexis at various events, mixed in with some links for Nike shoes.

“Now that awards show crybaby Kanye West is giving MTV the silent treatment, he won’t shut up on his new blog.

“The hip hop artist swore off MTV after losing out yet again at the channel’s Music Video Awards, and since then, he’s been working overtime to post on his site. Yesterday alone, Kanye posted five times. He’s a regular Michael Crichton.

“What’s Kanye blogging about? Everything from his fave YouTube clips (he’s a big fan of Feist and Brit indie band Bat for Lashes), to his favorite sneakers. But Kanye’s favorite subject? Himself, of course. The blog is chock full of pics, videos and news clips confirming Kanye as ‘the king of rap.’”

[From TMZ]

It pretty much seems like a lot of self-promotion coupled with swag/bling promotion, but it’s not like you’re going there expecting hard-hitting interviews. Celebitchy noted the other day that Kanye has incredibly good taste in decor, and he seems to be sharing some of his taste on his blog. Along with clips of himself on “Saturday Night Live.” He seems to be pretty generous to the other blogs though, thanking them for mentioning him. And he’s not on there blogging away about all the famous industry people he’s pissed at. So all around props to Kanye, and we look forward to seeing how your blog grows.

Picture Note by Jaybird: Here’s Kanye at the Emmys. Header image at the in-store signing for his new CD, “Graduation” on September 13th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Justin Timberlake went on Oprah today, and without naming names he said he’s dating someone and that she “smells lovely.” To keep in touch with his unnamed love while he’s away on tour, he said they use webcams through the iChat program. He didn’t say they cyber or anything, I just made up that headline to be sensational because that’s my job. He also said he enjoys using webcams to talk to his friends as it makes him feel closer to them:

Justin has been involved in a few high-profile relationships in the past, but he’s keeping his latest romance under wraps. “I’m dating someone,” he says. “But all I can tell you is she smells lovely.”

Oprah may not get a name out of Justin, but he does share a few secrets about his personal life. “I get pretty romantic around her,” he says. Justin admits that he even sings to her sometimes.

While he’s away on tour, Justin says he stays connected to his mystery woman through iChat, a computer program that lets you see the person you’re talking to with a webcam. “Technology is a wonderful thing sometimes. … I find that to be really cool, when you can actually see someone’s face. I do it with my friends, as well, just to have a conversation back and forth. It just makes you feel closer, that’s all.”

Dating isn’t easy—especially when your relationship gets played out in the public eye. In a past interview, Justin said tabloids create soap operas out of people’s lives. “If two famous people are dating each other, what I found—and I could be wrong—but just in my personal experience, [they think] if you’re not going to get married, then you’re breaking up.”

[Oprah.com via GossipRocks]

It’s cool to hear a celebrity extol the virtues of technology. My husband and have used webcams when we’re away from each other and I use them with my family so they can see their grandson, they’re a lot of fun and do make you feel closer to the person. There’s also something romantic about it if you’re using them with your significant other, like the person is so real to you but so far away.

Oh and Justin talked about Britney to Oprah, and pretty much said he was too young to know her that well, that they were both kids, and that she has a big heart. He said he has nothing but love for her but hasn’t talked to her in years. He pretty much dispelled any myths that he was helping her out during her divorce or that he had talked to her while she was in rehab, as has been rumored.

Oprah: What do you think is going on with Britney?

Justin: I don’t know, to be honest with you. I haven’t spoken to her in years. I mean, there’s no ill will—I have nothing but love for her. It’s funny because we dated each other at a time…wow, I haven’t talked about this in a long time. It’s interesting.

Oprah: But you’ve never talked about it to me, so it’s okay.

Justin: Hey, let’s get it in, girl.

Oprah: Let’s get it in.

Justin: We were teenagers, you know?

Oprah: Yes, famous teenagers.

Justin: I think that’s basically the best way to describe what happened to us. I think she’s a great person, and I don’t know her as well as I did …. What I do know about her is she has a huge heart, and she is a great person.

[From Oprah.com]

He answered that quite diplomatically and was non-committal. He probably practiced it and gave Oprah the go-ahead to ask about Britney.

Meanwhile Justin hints at his rage at the paparazzi by saying they’re constantly around, even when he tries to do something boring like go grocery shopping. He said that if he thinks too hard about it, it can “consume” him”

Even when he’s doing something mundane, like grocery shopping or walking his dogs, Justin says he has constant companions…the paparazzi. At first, he says their presence was surreal.

“[When] you drive out of your [driveway] and people are kind of sitting waiting to follow you, you know, ‘He’s going to go to Whole Foods. We need to capture that.’ You’re just like, okay, this is kind of weird. … You kind of try to pretend it’s not there.”

Over the years, Justin says he has become defensive and protective if the paparazzi followed him while he was with friends and family. Now, he tries to come to an agreement with photographers. “It’s like, ‘Look, you guys have the technology of telephoto lenses and you can shoot those pictures [from far away],’” he says. “I think it’s one of those things that, if you let it, it will consume you.”

Justin was recently videotaped bitch-slapping a paparazzo and has been involved in well-publicized scuffles with them in the past.

Justin credits his success to his hard work, and says that it doesn’t come by luck. As for how he leads his everyday life, he says it’s kind of boring and that he enjoys golf, having game nights with his friends, and getting off remotely with Jessica Biel. Of course I made that last part up, but it’s all I could picture when hearing this story. Someone please hack into that stream and tape it for the benefit of the Internet gossip community.

All pictures from Oprah.com.

Apparently going to jail raises your prices – a lot. While the average offender can expect their earning potential to take a dive after serving time, Paris Hilton seems to think it makes her a lot more marketable – five times more so, in fact. Last year, Paris charged $100,000 to make an appearance on New Year’s Eve. This year? Half a million. The delusional socialite seems to think that’s what an evening of her scintillating conversation and wonky eyed expressions are worth.

“Paris Hilton and Nicky Hilton are reportedly offering their hosting services for New Year’s Eve celebrations in Las Vegas - but with a $500,000 price tag. Paris is said to have asked for just $100,000 for the night’s appearance last year but with her sister, and after her jail-time, her price has gone up.

“A Las Vegas source told the New York Post: ‘Paris and Nicky are shopping their partying ways to Vegas at the price of around $500,000 - only they have the guts to ask for that amount - for a multiple-day New Year’s Eve bash.’

“’Paris will ”party” at a few spots and Nicky will bless the lucky host with a fashion show of her wares and model herself.’ But the source added that it’s unlikely that anyone will take them up on the deal because the tide is turning against the heiresses: ‘[the Hiltons] are so desperate now, they should be paying the clubs for good PR, not the other way around.’”

[From Fametastic]

Oh, snap! It’s true though. As much as I’m not a fan of either of the Hiltons, it’s telling that Nicky is willing to do something for her fee. I’m not saying it’s worth $10, but it’s better than just saying you’ll party at a few spots.

In news that makes A LOT more sense, Paris is a virus’s best friend. No, not just her well documented sixteen strains of herpes, I’m talking about computer viruses (this time). You know all that spam, viruses, trojan horses, and other weird computer things that mess up your system? Well they often use images and names of celebrities to tempt you into visiting their pages or opening their email. Who’s the number one name malware writers favor? Paris Hilton!

“Paris Hilton has topped the list of celebrities used by malware writers to tempt users into downloading a virus.

“Security software firm McAfee last month looked at the number of web pages with malware embedded and at spam containing virus attachments.

“Celebrities are often used to invite users to click on a malicious link or attachment, and McAfee has drawn up a top 10 list.

“Hotel heiress Hilton is number one, followed by pop star Amy Winehouse and footballer Cristiano Ronaldo.”

[From vnunet.com]

I knew Paris carried so many STDs that there were some that doctors had never seen before, but I didn’t realize they were so strong and advanced that they’d morphed into digital strains. That’s got to knock her price down to a good $450,000 for New Years Eve. Although a lot of doctors and scientists might be willing to show up with a load of Petri dishes. If they line the floor with them, a few of her bugs are bound to fall out.

Picture note by JayBird: Header image is Paris shopping at Fred Segal in West Hollywood yesterday. Image thanks to WENN.

A 95 year-old blogger, Maria Amalia López from Muxia in Northwest Spain, is all the rage in her native Spain. She started blogging in December of last year and it didn’t take long until she was discovered by the public. She’s now getting plenty of coverage in the Spanish papers and on the news. Hundreds of thousands of people visit her site curious to learn the wisdom that comes from living longer than most.

In her first entry she lets us know it was her 95th birthday and she was given the gift of the blog by her cheap grandson. She blogs about everything from her experience during the Spanish Civil War to her opinions about current Spanish politics. People find her funny and accessible, and love to hear her first hand experiences on historic events.

She includes pictures on her Spanish-language blog, Amis95.blogspot.com, of her recent trip to Brazil, and captioned the photo above of her on the computer “Viendo las fotos que me hizo el paparazzi,” which I think means that she’s looking at pictures of her by the paparazzi online, but my Spanish stinks and the free translation tool only goes so far. She also includes pictures of herself getting a massage and partying at her resort in Brazil. You don’t need to know Spanish to know what the title of this blog entry means: “Brasillll Nanananananananaaaaaaa.”

My husband told me about the blogging granny after reading an article about it on Yahoo! Germany (link is a German article.) I couldn’t find anything about it in English yet. Let me know if you’re a Spanish speaker and can provide more information about Ms. López’s blog. I would also like to write an e-mail to this lady in Spanish to let her know that we’re covering her story. If someone can write this for me, just 2-3 sentences saying we love her story and are covering it, please let me know and e-mail it to info -at- celebitchy.com.

Update: Thanks so much to everyone who helped with the letter to Ms. Lopez. It is now all set. We also have a great report from Cristina who read an article in Spanish about this lively and funny woman:

Before I read your article, I had already read this:
http://www.elcastellano.org/ns/edicion/2007/julio/mariaamelia.html
It is in Spanish, but in the interview she defines herself like: quite “de izquierdas” (liberal?) and “de Galicia” (you can appreciate it in her blog). She knows a lot of people think internet is dangerous, but she thinks it is awesome, she wishes she had had internet in her youth. Although her health problems (she has problems with her eyes), she is willing to learn always more and more and write it down in her blog. She feels also deeply moved from all the support letters and emails she becomes (they are so many, she needs help) and she write down often all the articles written about her.

[Thanks to Cristina via e-mail, details from Spanish language newspapaper El Castellano]

There’s also a 108 year-old Australian blogger, Olive Riley, that started a blog in February of this year. She doesn’t write the entries herself, and they are transcribed by her friend Mike from conversations they have. In the latest entry there are pictures from her life and she describes her experiences during the Great Depression in Australia. She says that rabbits made up a large staple of her family’s diet at the time and that she didn’t grow sick of eating them constantly. She still enjoys a good roasted or stewed rabbit. Olive’s blog is also quite popular, with some posts receiving over 100 comments from well-wishers.

All pictures from the respective blogs, Amis95.blogspot.com and AllAboutOlive.com.au.

The Details people e-mailed me some quotes from an upcoming interview with Christopher Walken. The 64 year-old actor admitted that he can’t use a computer and doesn’t want to learn how. He’s such a technophobe that he doesn’t even have a cell phone. He also said that he regularly pulls on his hair at the roots in order to stave off male pattern baldness.

Christopher Walken opens up to Details:
On his career: “I’ve made – I think about a hundred movies. And there’s a good number of them that I’ve never seen. Never.”
On his distinctive style of speech: “Occasionally somebody will say, ‘Could you read that line another way?’ And I just tell ‘em, ‘I’m sorry. I have no idea how to do that.’ And the interesting thing is that the other actors, when that happens to me, they all gang up: ‘What? Leave him alone!’”
On his daily habit of yanking his hair: “Apparently, if you keep your scalp skin loose, you’re more apt to keep your hair. So I just grab it with both hands and yank on it while I’m watching the news.”
On his notorious “More Cowbell” routine from Saturday Night Live: “I was eating at a restaurant in Singapore, and an Asian couple was at the next table, and the guy turned to me and he said, ‘Chris, you know what this salad needs?’ I said, ‘What?’ He said, ‘More cowbell.’”
On not owning a computer: “And I certainly wouldn’t know how to work one. I don’t have a cell phone, either.”
On alien abductions: “I think it’d be a gas if aliens came and said hi. Wouldn’t that be great?”

[Thanks to Details.com]

He’s been in a lot of crappy movies so it’s to be expected that he hasn’t seen many of them.

This man is so eccentric that I’m surprised he’s not into technology. I guess it’s my own personal bias since I’m connected constantly, but I find it really surprising that he doesn’t know how to use a computer and chooses not to have a cell phone. I know an 80-something lady that uses e-mail and the Internet and it’s not like you’re ever too old to learn. It just seems like he’s missing out on an awful lot. Like celebrity blogs full of insightful comments about how he should learn to use a computer.

Here’s Christopher Walken in the FatboySlim “Weapon of Choice” video:

More Cowbell T-shirt from BustedTees. (And they didn’t sponsor that plug, it was just the first one I found.)

The News of the World reports Red Prince Harry’s online romancing complete with secret nicknames, internet trends and getting’ buck nekkid

BESOTTED Prince Harry has confessed his love for Chelsy Davy – on a website used by millions.

The prince posts intimate messages on Facebook, a new MySpace-style social network, to keep in touch with Chelsy.

Harry, 22, uses the codename Spike Wells and calls Chelsy “Chicken.”

I can’t be the only one to note that it’s a very stripper spelling of the name “Chelsy.” Perhaps it went so thoroughly round the popular girls name cycle — that it popped back up in the British upperclass — I look forward to a slew of titled types: Lady Destineee, Baroness Peachez, or Lusshuss Marchioness of Queensbury. Perhaps the upper classes worldwide have become so undifferentiated from the trashy attractions of contemporary money and power that stripper names are all the rage.

The Facebook silliness continued when Harry was coming home from a London Club:

Harry got out his laptop and wrote on Facebook: “Spike is TAKING OFF ALL HIS CLOTHES, waiting for chicken!”

The lesson here kids … don’t drink and post.

On January 23, Harry joked about how depressed he was that Chelsy had gone to America. The Army 2nd lieutenant said: “Spike is contemplating hanging himself with a dental floss and a banana…just coz his fave person in the world has gone!”

Two days later at 4.58am he added: “Spike is finding it hard to get the dental floss to hold…and isn’t sure how he can involve the banana!”

Harry, I’m sure suggestions for banana use will now be flooding in from friendly readers worldwide.

It all somewhow brings to mind his Dad’s (well maybe his Dad) cringemaking messages to Camilla. The men in this family seem to have an odd notion of what props add to the romance. Bananas and floss still being preferable to tampons. Good dental hygiene and a diet well balanced in potassium is always gonna top Toxic Shock Syndrome.

The ginger Prince had an unusual moment of forethought … that, quite usually, changed nothing that he actually did

Harry admits opening his heart on the net may be a silly thing to do. After returning to Britain from a visit to Chelsy in November the prince confessed he was “madly in love with his girlfriend and knows he’s gonna regret saying that over facebook!!”

If the regrets kick in too hard we suggest he contact Jade Jagger’s London Rep Sara Forage … she’s got some smoke that will put the minger back in his ginger and erase any memory of how it all happened.

Picture below from Just Jared.