Word has it – and by “word” I mean the sorta-reliable people over at Fox News – that Jimmy Fallon will definitely replace Conan O’Brien when O’Brien moves over to host The Tonight Show in 2009. Jay Leno is being “forced” into retirement according to Fox, and a lot of gossip has been whispered over the past year or so regarding O’Brien’s replacement.

The word is out among the NBC brass: As rumored and bounced around for some time, Jimmy Fallon is set to take Conan O’Brien’s job as host of “Late Night” in 2009. It’s a done deal. Conan, of course, will be taking over for Jay Leno, who will leave the “Tonight” show in May 2009 as part of a forced retirement.

There’s much debate about letting Leno leave NBC etc., but right now let’s just concentrate on Jimmy. He’s the perfect successor to Conan and should have just as big an audience when he takes the reins. Fallon is one of those great underrated performers. This should be the right milieu for him. Fallon, who recently married producer Nancy Juvonen, is said to be thrilled and ready, if not a little scared, about taking Conan’s desk. He still has to pick a producer and a band, among other things.

[From Fox News]

NBC is expected to make the formal announcement in mid-May when they present their Fall schedule in New York. Though NBC is “forcing” Leno into retirement, it appears he’s just retiring from NBC. He may do a show on ABC that would replace Nightline and push Jimmy Kimmel’s show back a half hour, into the 12:30 slot. He also may go back to promoting Doritos, which is pretty much the only thing I knew about him before he started hosting the Tonight Show.

Jimmy Fallon is pretty funny, and does have a bit of a following. But he hasn’t really done much since he left Saturday Night Live in 2006. He was in an independent film called The Year of Getting to Know Us that was screened at Sundance to terrible reviews. Aside from that, it seems that he’s spent the last couple years… just… chilling. Makes you wonder why NBC decided to go with him – but either way, he’s pretty funny, and hopefully will thrive in his new job.

Here’s Jimmy Fallon in Beverly Hills on March 20th. Images thanks to WENN.

Some days I sit around and think to myself, “That Paris Hilton just doesn’t get enough publicity.” And it really is upsetting, because who is more deserving of love and attention than our dear, demure Paris? That’s right, freaking nobody. Luckily British television station Living TV has decided to take pity on the poor socialite and offer Paris her own show. Because that’s certainly never been done before – and if it had, it certainly wasn’t an incredibly dull half hour of enduring the sound of Paris’ flat affect and wonky eye. This time around, Paris’ costars will be dogs instead of Nicole Richie. Insert your own joke here ___________ ___________ ___ ________.

Paris Hilton is set to host a satellite TV show about pet grooming. The 27-year-old socialite has reportedly signed a deal with Britain’s Living TV television channel to star in ‘Paris’ Pooches’, in which she will manage a beauty parlor for dogs in Bond Street, London. A source told Britain’s Sunday Star newspaper: “The shop is perfect for Paris. It’s a subject she’s passionate about and it’s a way for her to break into UK TV.

“Watching Paris act out her Los Angeles lifestyle, in which tiaras for Chihuahuas are of real importance, should be very entertaining. And she will no doubt be hitting the clubs and parties over here in the same way she does back home.” The hotel heiress — who’s dating Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden — was recently investigated by Los Angeles authorities after claiming to have 17 dogs — 14 more than city bylaws allow. She once claimed to have 600 pets in her various homes including a Rottweiler dog, a bobcat and a Lhasa Aspo.

[From Showbiz Spy]

Giving Paris Hilton the opportunity to be around more animals is like giving a serial killer a knife. Could anything good come of it? No. Will innocent creatures be harmed? Probably. Will Paris Hilton somehow be to blame? Yes, equally in both scenarios. There is actually a website/online petition called Tell Paris No! whose mission is to dissuade the heiress from collecting more animals that she can’t/doesn’t care for. Something tells me they wouldn’t be a big fan of giving her free reign over a bunch of helpless puppies. You just know she’s going to stuff one of them down her shirt and run away.

Header of Paris and her boyfriend Benji Madden on April 16th. According to WENN, they were “leaving Gilgamesh restaurant in Camden having arrived at 11.30pm for a very late dinner!! They then headed to Crystal nightclub, where they spent the rest of the evening partying until 3.30am! Paris is wearing a Lamis Khamis dress, a Chanel bracelet and a white crucifix with her black leather jacket.” Older photo of Paris with what I’m going to say is her kinkajou and a chihuahua. Though I’m not 100% sure which is which. Images thanks to WENN.

I can think of few things I would enjoy more in life than being Paris Hilton’s best friend forever. Except pretty much everything else. Yeah, come to think of it, I’d rather bungee jump with a rope that’s too long before I had to spend 15 minutes with Paris Hilton. And apparently a LOT of people agree with me. Paris is starring in some ridiculous sounding reality show where people compete to be her BFF. When casting agents held auditions in New York City, instead of the hundreds of people they expected, they found just 40 waiting in line. And of those 40, most of them seemed to have suspicious motivations.

“There were less than 40 people there,” one audition insider tells OK!. But despite the poor turnout, each of the hopefuls seemed ready to show their unique desire to grab the attention of the casting directors. “There were girls wearing matching pastel prom dresses with Swarovski crystal pendants and updos, ghetto-fabulous girls and two goth-inspired girls with bleach blonde hair, pale makeup, eyelash extensions and leather clothing.”

Additionally, OK! has to question the motives of these attention-seekers, as at least one contender was overheard remarking that she, “totally couldn’t live in the house with Paris,” because “she would be so annoying!” But for those camera-hungry wannabes fortunate enough to merit a call-back, they were approached by a casting director who handed them the show’s version of a golden ticket — a card that read, “You are cordially invited to join us at our audition to become Paris Hilton’s new BFF.”

[From OK!]

Wow. Just… wow. So of the only 40 people that showed up, it sounds like some of them clearly can’t stand Paris, and the rest think they’re attending junior prom. Wonder who they’ll pick? Which of these girls sounds more like Paris? I don’t care who you are, I can’t help but wonder how anyone could deal with someone so flat and vapid. I know there’s other people like that out there, but something tells me Paris pretty much takes the cake. Apparently auditions are still open, so if anyone out there thinks they can handle the heirhead for a few months… looks like the job’s yours.

Here’s Paris and boyfriend Benji Madden arriving at the Hilton Hotel in London today, and Paris visiting a tanning salon. They’re are in town as part of Good Charlotte’s 2008 world tour. Images thanks to WENN.

A couple of weeks ago we reported on how Tina Fey, star and creator of the super-funny “30 Rock,” was dreaming of casting Oprah Winfrey as her best friend on the show. That dream may become a reality, according to a source who was at a recent taping of Oprah’s show, on which Tina was a guest.

Dreams really do come true, and don’t let anyone tell you differently!

Just two weeks ago, while discussing some dream casting options for her NBC comedy 30 Rock, Tina Fey told reporters, “I still want Oprah to play my best friend. I feel like I want to spend time with Oprah, and I don’t know what I need to do to make that happen…”

Well, as of today, it might happen. A Chicagoland source just wrote in with this fantabulous news, “I just got back from a taping of The Oprah Show starring Tina Fey and Amy Poehler for Baby Mama—it’s hilarious, BTW. Anyway, it looks like Oprah may be a guest on 30 Rock next season! Oprah said she had heard Tina wanted to be her best friend, and so Oprah asked whether Tina meant in real life or on the show, and Tina said both. Oprah said ‘Have your people, call my people,’ but she was definitely interested, and she said she’d like to do it. Tina gestured to the people in the audience, to the effect of ‘You heard her say it.’ They also addressed it on-air very briefly. And there is even a shout-out to Oprah in Baby Mama!”

[From E!Online]

I am excited about this- not because I like Oprah, but because having Oprah appear on the show might actually get more people watching it. Normally, I’m not a big fan of stunt casting, there are a few instances where it’s done really well and with great results, but at this point “30 Rock” can use the ratings.

This week South Park did a great parody of all the infamous YouTube “celebrities.” After the boys make a popular YouTube video “Little Gay Kid” and become internet sensations, they decide to go collect all the money they’re theoretically worth. They encounter all the YouTube celebrities, who can’t seem to get over their 15 seconds of fame.

We’re giving away two copies of the new South Park Imaginationland DVD. If you would like to be eligible to win one, please comment on this post with your favorite South Park quote. The first two great quotes will be chosen and a DVD will be sent to you. Make sure to include your e-mail in the e-mail field so we can get in touch. Here’s an excerpt from the DVD:

In this uncensored, never-before-seen director’s cut, the doors of the world’s imagination are thrown wide open and the boys of South Park are transported to a magical realm in their greatest odyssey ever. Stan, Kyle, and Butters find themselves in Imaginationland just as terrorists launch an attack that unleashes all of mankind’s most evil characters imaginable. With the world’s imaginations spinning out of control, the government prepares to nuke Imaginationland to put an end to the chaos. Racing against time to prevent nuclear annihilation, the citizens of Imaginationland realize their only hope of salvation lies with the unlikeliest of heroes: Butters. Ignoring the impending apocalypse, Cartman goes all the way to the Supreme Court to get justice for his case of dry balls.

And here’s some of the original YouTube internet “celebrities” to enjoy for a second (or 53rd) time.

Update by Celebitchy: On Friday, MSat, Jaybird and I joined heads to pick the best quotes that were up the quickest. We mutually decided on Megan: “Mr. Garrison: ‘I just don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.;” and Katie: “Paris Hilton whore off: ‘aww…It’s all wet and squishy down there.’” However, Megan did not enter her e-mail address and thus forfeited her chance to win, which is clearly stated in the post. So the winners were Katie and Anna: “Cartman: M-o-o-o-mmm, Kitty is being a dildo. Mrs. Cartman: Well, then I know a certain kitty kitty who’s sleeping with Mommy tonight.”

Both winners have been contacted and will be receiving DVDs in the mail. Thanks to everyone who entered and added quotes!

Vera from I’m Not Obsessed got profiled on CBS NY in a very nice segment that focused on her success working from home in Long Island. I love Vera’s site and was so excited to see her segment. Her kids are so cute and her husband seems very supportive. Congratulations Vera!

Tina Fey, one of my favorite smart, funny actresses, was recently interviewed by USA Today regarding the future fate of her award-winning but under-watched sitcom, “30 Rock.” Tina, after being asked about the recent stunt casting on CBS’ “How I Met Your Mother,” admitted that she’s been holding out for a certain guest appearance of her own: Oprah Winfrey.

here’s one star Tina Fey would really like to have on 30 Rock. “I still want Oprah to play my best friend. I want to spend time with Oprah,” Fey said in a press conference call a few minutes ago. “And I don’t know what I need to do to make that happen.”

She said Tim Conway (one of her childhood favorites) will be a guest this upcoming season, kicking off April 10 with five new episodes. And as for who she would like to see cast as a love interest for Liz Lemon, she says: “You know who would be good? Peter Dinklage. That guy’s awesome.”

By the way, Peter Dinklage is the actor who appeared in “The Station Agent” and played the angry little person who beats the crap out of Will Ferrell in “Elf.” I agree- he would be totally awesome as a love interest for Liz Lemon! Tina also said that if the right part and the right storyline came along, she wouldn’t rule out asking Britney Spears to appear on her show.

Fey said she’d be happy to have Britney Spears on, but explained that “usually we write a part first and then think about who would be good. If there were a part that was appropriate, I don’t think we’d hesitate to go with somebody like that. I worked with Britney twice at SNL and she was very professional and nice.” She didn’t catch her last night, however, on How I Met Your Mother. She said she’d have to watch it on “the computer.”

[From USA Today]

It might not be a bad idea for “30 Rock” to pull some stunt casting- “How I Met Your Mother,” which is a supremely inferior show, boasted its best rating ever with the Spears cameo. “30 Rock” actually has great writers and an amazing cast, but nobody has noticed- just think what they could do with a big star. They definitely could use the ratings.

Britney Spears appeared on CBS Sitcom “How I Met Your Mother” last night. She played the ditsy secretary to a dermatologist that one of the characters, Ted, is interested in. I’ve never seen this show before and it looks kind of stupid from the clips, but Neil Patrick Harris really stands out as the womanizing character Barney.

Britney is not a fabulous actress, but she’s not bad either and she does comedy well. She could easily play an ongoing supporting role on a sitcom.

One thing that struck me is that Britney does look pregnant to me in the scenes where she’s standing up. It could just be the outfits they put her in. The first one is 30 seconds into part two below, and the last one is toward the end of part three, which is just a 13 second clip.

Britney Spears on “How I Met Your Mother”
Part 1 - Full Scene

Britney Spears on “How I Met Your Mother”
Part 2 - Full Scene

Britney Spears on “How I Met Your Mother”
Part 3

Britney Spears on “How I Met Your Mother”
Part 4

Way back in 2004, Anna Nicole Smith and Howard K Stern came up with an idea for a show called “Celebrities Strike Back.” The treatment, which was submitted to E! and registered with the Writer’s Guild, had Anna Nicole and other celebs turning the tables on the paparazzi with staged events to see if the media would pick up the stories. Sound a little familiar? Well it’s pretty darn close to Ashton Kutcher’s new show for E! called “Pop Fiction.” In it, celebs… turn the tables on the paparazzi and media to see if they’ll pick up the stories. Like when we all started writing about Paris Hilton wandering around L.A. with some crazed guru. Who was revealed to be an actor after a very short period of time – but we all thought the joke was on Paris, not us. Boy that sounds freakishly similar.

Ashton’s show sounds like a carbon of Anna’s treatment — “…what happens if Anna Nicole Smith and other celebrities turn the tables and capitalize off of the overzealous media? What if the next big supposed scandal is not a scandal at all? What if everything is staged, but the media (and the public) don’t know it?” It continues, Anna Nicole and other celebrity guests take aim at the media and push all the limits.”

That’s Ashton Kutcher’s show and we’re told Howard K. has already threatened suit. What is really pissing him off is that he and Anna had multiple meetings with E!. Two months ago, Stern spoke with E! again on behalf of the estate and the network seemed intrigued by making Larry Birkhead the celeb to do the first prank and then host the show. Ultimately Jay James said it just wouldn’t work. Oh really?

[From TMZ]

I never like to give Howard K Stern credit for anything if I can, but it sure seems like he could have a pretty legitimate lawsuit on his hands. This show seems pretty much up Ashton Kutcher’s alley, and it’s entirely possible that he or someone at his production company came up with the idea without ever knowing about Smith and Stern’s show. It’s also possible that E! liked the idea but didn’t like Anna for the project, and once she passed away brought the idea to Kutcher. Either way, the common denominator is E! They knew about Anna’s show and are airing Ashton’s show. They’ve made a ton of money off her in the last few years, and should have been more respectful.

US Weekly has an interview with the creator of “How I Met Your Mother,” the CBS sitcom in which Britney Spears will appear in a cameo on March 24. What really surprised me is how arrogant Britney’s people came across when they said she wanted a role and how quickly the “How I Met Your Mother” staff worked to accommodate them. It’s unclear from the way this is worded whether the part existed before Britney’s people called and asked, but I got the impression it was written in just for her. Her people asked for a script to be sent 30 minutes after they called and said she was interested in a part, and the writers worked furiously to send it to her:

Tell Us how this all came about.
Britney’s people ended up coming to CBS and expressing interest in our show, and we were thrilled: ‘Britney Spears watches our show!’

They said she was a big fan of the show?
They said she was looking for a small part on a funny show, and she checked out our show and liked it. They were really receptive to the idea of bringing Britney in and just doing a funny role for her. It all came together really quickly – it was kind of shocking.

How quick?
We heard that they read about the part on Thursday. We were literally in the middle of a re-write of that script, and they said, ‘Oh, we’re having dinner with Britney tonight, and she likes the show. Can you get her a script a half-hour from now?’ So we just sort of busted ass for the next 40 minutes, hit print and showed her our in-progress rewrite of the episode. She got in and thought the character was really funny and said yes the very next day.

[From US Weekly]

“How I Met Your Mother” creator Craig Thomas said that Britney was relaxed and fun when they met with her to read the part and that she “seemed to fit right in” with the cast.

You can understand why they would work so hard to make sure a part was made for her, because people are going to watch this episode just for Britney, but it also comes off as a bit ridiculous. Couldn’t they have sent her the script re-write the next day or a few days later? Did they have to work that night to get it out just for Britney?

I know Britney is a big star and a huge draw and all, but do you think they would have worked to get the script out for anyone else other than maybe an a-list star? This is a pop singer who is known for not wearing underwear, losing custody of her children, and having public breakdowns. I wish her well and all, but she’s not an actress.

Britney will appear on the show as the secretary of a dermatologist that one of the characters, Ted, is interested in. Alicia Silverstone was set to guest star as the dermatologist and she bailed when she learned that Britney would appear. E! Online reports that Silverstone thought it would be “too chaotic” with Britney there. Silverstone will be replaced by Sarah Chalke from “Scrubs.”