This has got to be my favorite story of the week. I know the week’s only started, but I don’t think many things could beat this story, at least in terms of obviously fake planted crap. Supposedly, Ivanka Trump is being considered to replace Rosie O’Donnell on “The View.” Wouldn’t that just make Donald as happy as a little peach pie? The National Enquirer reports that Barbara Walters is seriously considering giving Ivanka the gig. Of course they also referred to her as a “hottie with brains,” so we’ll see how much truth is behind this. Of course if Barbara did give her the spot, it would certainly make for some interesting dynamics on the show. Would Donald still go on tirades? Would he go on Larry King and talk about how Ivanka is a “Big fat pig” or whatever else he called Rosie O’Donnell? Supposedly, this all comes back to Paris Hilton (who’s name we shall not mention of course).

“The National Enquirer reports that Barbara Walters wants to hire the “hottie with brains” to stick it to Paris Hilton and her parents for their shabby treatment of her when they were trying to sell the Paris post-prison interview.”

[From the New York Post]

What in the world do Paris Hilton and her family have to do with hiring Ivanka Trump? Do the Trumps and the Hiltons have some Capulet v. Montague/East Coast v. West Coast feud going on that I don’t know about? I feel like something was missing here.

I was wondering what would even qualify Ivanka to be on the show, but she’s actually more accomplished that I thought. According to Wikipedia, she is the vice president of Real Estate Development and Acquisitions at the Trump Organization. Okay we can chalk that up to nepotism. However she was accepted to Georgetown and transferred to the University of Pennsylvania and graduated magna cum laude from their prestigious Wharton School of Business. Ivanka also replaced Carolyn Kepcher as a primary boardroom judge starting in the sixth season “The Apprentice.” Whether due to nepotism or not, she has good credentials. It’ll be interesting to see if she ultimately becomes a candidate for the position.

Update by Celebitchy: This originated in Mike Walker’s column in The National Enquirer. Last week he printed an item that Paris Hilton was being considered for the open spot on The View! I thought it was such crap that I didn’t bother to print it. So when Jay wonders what Paris has to do with it, that’s the story. I doubt either one of those stories is true.

After Rosie and her hack’s haughty refusal to admit that it was mean to mock asians in sing-song gibberish, her inevitable “oh yeah, I was wrong” apology seems fake and forced. She said that she asked her asian hair and makeup person, who obviously cannot work miracles, if it was wrong to use that “Ching Chong” crap, and the woman said that it’s the oldest trick in the book and she heard it when she was a kid.

After running a clip of the offending segment, which originally ran Dec. 5, she said, “This apparently was very offensive to a lot of Asian people. So I asked Judy, who’s Asian and works here in our hair and makeup department. I said, ‘Was it offensive to you?’ And she said, ‘Well, kinda. When I was a kid people did tease me by saying ching-chong.’

“So apparently ‘ching-chong,’ unbeknownst to me, is a very offensive way to make fun, quote-unquote, or mock, Asian accents. Some people have told me it’s as bad as the n-word. I was like, really? I didn’t know that.”

O’Donnell said that her joke was “never intended to hurt anyone, and I’m sorry for those people who felt hurt or were teased on the playground,” but added that in the future, “there’s a good chance that I’ll do something like that again … Not on purpose.”

If someone were to mock gay people with a limp wrist and lisp, would it be ok if they said they had no clue, and that uh, apparently, it’s offensive? No, Rosie should have fessed up right away and not had her rep initially that say no one got her dumbass humor. At least she’s apologizing now, but it seems less than sincere.

Here’s what asian activist Angry Asian Man says about Rosie’s apology:

It’s a joke. The entire thing is played for laughs, like it was no big deal—a case of some offended people overreacting. Elisabeth Hasselback leads in with this bit about what sounds like acupuncture, and they give some background about what happened (replaying the original clip). Rosie does this whole, “Oh, I had no idea about your pain” thing. Listen as the audience is completely incredulous when they find out that saying “ching chong” is apparently offensive to some Asian people out there. Sorry to burst your bubble. Though you had it all in check, huh? Of course, this whole apology is completely negated by the fact that O’Donnell goes on to say, “Hey, I still think it was funny!” and encourages everyone to still laugh along with her about the whole thing. But the part that infuriates me the most is when Joy points to two Asian women in the audience who are nodding in agreement. I guess if these two women say it’s okay, it must be cool! Oh, it hurts. Betrayed by two of our own, on national television. What a pathetic excuse for an apology.

Danny DeVito admits to staying up all night drinking lemon liqueur with George Clooney before his appearance on “The View” this morning and it’s pretty obvious that he’s out of it.

He brags about screwing his wife Rhea in the Lincoln bedroom of the White House when he was a guest there during Clinton’s reign, and does a whole weird Three Stooges impression meant to make fun of George Bush, a lot of which is bleeped out. He seems to have called Bush a “numbnuts” but that didn’t make it past the censors.

Right after he says that the Lincoln bedroom was “utilized” Barbara Walters changes the topic to his new movie “Deck the Halls.”

He burps and has to hold his hand over his mouth when he’s trying to describe the predictable plot of the movie!