Katie Holmes can’t get no respect. Okay that joke doesn’t really work. But it sure is the truth. Katie hasn’t gotten much attention for her acting career in recent years. She is, at best, an okay actress. If it weren’t for marrying Tom Cruise, she wouldn’t exactly be memorable. Tepid. That’s the word I was searching for.

But Katie is still a big name, regardless of the reason. Which made Broadway producers think it was a good idea to sign her star in “All My Sons.” Unfortunately for them, it appears theater-goers care more about talent than a big name – they’ve barely been able to sell tickets to the show.

“Where are all the Scientologists? Don’t they want to see her?” jokes one person, who requested anonymity for fear that the followers of L. Ron Hubbard would hunt him down and make him read all 10 volumes of “Mission Earth.”

Ticket brokers and group sales agents, who at one point thought Holmes would be this season’s Julia Roberts - who pretty much sold out “Three Days of Rain” in One Day of Rain - say interest in the Holmes show is nil. “I bought 1,000 tickets to the show,” says one broker. “I still have them.” The advance for “All My Sons,” which opens in September, is said to be less than $1 million.

Holmes, meanwhile, is in the public eye only because she’s Mrs. Tom Cruise. [She] is also up against a troubled economy, which, several ticket brokers say, is starting to take its toll on Broadway. “People aren’t shelling out $110 for a play anymore,” says a broker. “It doesn’t matter who’s in it.”

Backstage at “All My Sons,” the buzz is that the cast has been forced to sign confidentiality agreements. The Scientology minders in charge of Holmes apparently don’t want any press they can’t control.

[From the New York Post]

The Post focuses quite a bit on how successful Nicole Kidman was in her 1998 run on Broadway in “The Blue Room,” noting that she “she set the town on fire.” Of course she also took her clothes off for the show – and Holmes is keeping hers tightly buttoned.

The New York Times Magazine also points out that the producers have made a critical error promoting the show. They have only talked about Katie Holmes in all of their promotions - completely failing to mention that the play also stars John Lithgow, Patrick Wilson, and Dianne Wiest. Perhaps if they’d bother to mention their well respected Broadway vets, more people would be willing to shell out the cash.

It’s probably not fair to blame the whole thing on Katie Holmes, her acting skills, or the bad publicity her husband brings to the whole affair. And there’s a chance she’ll get great reviews come September. Failing that, Holmes could do what someone suggested in the Post article to compete with Kidman; “I think if she takes off her clothes, she may catch up.”

Here are Katie and Tom at LACMA’s Opening Celebration of the Broad Contemporary Art Museum on February 9th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

I have a theory that if Ashlee Simpson can do it, anyone can. If Ashlee can scale a mountain, anyone can. If she can marry Pete Wentz, anyone can. Mind you, that doesn’t mean anyone should. And if Ashlee can take on Broadway, anyone can. And with that in mind, Britney Spears is reportedly being considered for the role of Sandy in the West End’s production of Grease.

Britney Spears has been tipped for a role on Broadway - playing Sandy in the stage version of Grease.
The singer proved her acting credentials with a highly successful stint in U.S. sitcom How I Met Your Mother and was recently linked with a move to the London stage.
Spears was reportedly in talks to star in a West End production of Tennessee Williams’ play A Streetcar Named Desire - playing the lead role of Blanche DuBois.
And now the Toxic hitmaker is once again rumoured to be considering a turn on stage - this time in hit musical Grease.
A source tells British newspaper Metro, “The producers were bouncing around the idea of casting Britney in the role of Sandy.
“They’re recasting the roles in July and they thought that Britney looked like a Sandy. She would be terrific.”

[From PR-Inside]

Britney might actually do better on the stage than she did on the small screen. I thought her acting was pretty uncomfortable and her delivery pretty stilted when she guest starred on How I Met Your Mother. But Britney is used to performing live on stage, and with some strong coaching she might be a pretty good fit for Grease.

This isn’t the first time Brit’s been rumored to be considering the stage. Last week she had dinner with George Maloof, Jr. the owner of the Palms hotel and casino in Las Vegas. The National Enquirer thinks she’s planning on making her comeback with a Vegas stage show.

Apparently Brit’s not sold yet - the couple good reviews she got for How I Met Your Mother have led her to consider her own television show. PLEASE DON’T DO IT!!

Coming this fall … Britney Spears, the sitcom?

The troubled pop star is reportedly interested in capitalizing on her “How I Met Your Mother” guest-starring success with a TV show of her own.

Spears had a meeting Wednesday with a big time producer about possible TV projects, TMZ.com reports. Brit would star in and possibly produce a show.

Sources told the site that the singer and her posse had a “serious” meeting with Roy Bank, President of Merv Griffin Entertainment, to discuss a move to the small screen. Among other ideas, the concept of a music show was thrown around.

[From the New York Daily News]

I think of the two options, the stage would be a much better fit for Britney. She’ll get to do the same performance over and over again, which seems to be a good idea for her. Practice makes perfect and all that. And if she doesn’t get it quite right every now and then, the entire country isn’t watching her, and it probably won’t end up on YouTube.

I’m still rather shocked that she got decent reviews for her television acting. I assumed people were just trying to encourage her to keep moving forward and such. Apparently it opened some doors for her. Which is great. But I still think a return to live performing would be her best bet.

Here’s Britney after shopping at Lisa Kline boutique in Los Angeles on May 21st. Images thanks to WENN.

We all thought Tom would never let her out of her cage – but somehow Katie Holmes has managed to escape long enough to actually do something to salvage her career. Holmesbot will be playing the role of Ann Deever in Arthur Miller’s play All My Sons. Which means she’ll be heading to the Big Apple – presumably with Tom in tow. It has been widely reported that Katie wanted to go to New York as a sort of trial separation from Tom. Not surprisingly, he put the kibosh on that pretty quickly.

Discussions to bring the actress to Broadway were confirmed back in March, and now a deal seems inevitable. Producer Eric Falkenstein tells OK! he thinks Katie is perfect for the part. “Katie is very well suited for the role of Ann,” he says. “There is an additional layer of soul to Ann and from the work I’ve seen of Katie, she has always impressed with multi-faceted characters. She would nail it.”

Falkenstein also feels that Mrs. Cruise’s star-power won’t overshadow her acting ability. “Despite being in the spotlight and her celebrity status, the fact remains that she has a tremendous record of performances,” he says. “I think Katie is a tremendous actor. Whenever she decides to come to the stage she’ll be terrific.”

All My Sons will hit Broadway with a preview in September and open a month later in October. A formal announcement is expected to take place within the next 10 days.

[From OK! Magazine]

Notice how nice OK was to sidestep the whole Tom issue? Will Tom let Katie off her leash? Will he reprogram her circuits? Will Katie cut the cord? What other ridiculous metaphors can we use to imply that Tom Cruise is a controlling nut bag?

It would really be fabulous if Katie got a little time away from the Scientology influence. But with all the minders Tom keeps around, that seems highly unlikely. If nothing else, it’ll be interesting to see if she can pull off the role. I’ve always found her acting rather drab at best. And since Tom’s groomed her, she speaks with this ridiculous faux-softness that I just can’t stand. I’m not sure how that will transfer to the stage. Nonetheless: spread your wings Katie! Break out of the cage! Fly away! Okay I really am done with the metaphors now. Just leave the guy.

Here’s Katie and Tom at the Fashion and Fantasy’ Costume Institute Gala on May 5th. Images thanks to WENN.

Harry Potter is coming to Broadway… nude. Okay I realize Daniel Radcliffe isn’t actually Harry Potter… but he so is. I can’t really look at him without seeing a boy wizard who needs his glasses and a scarf. Daniel is reprising his role in “Equus,” a play about a psychiatrist who tries to treat a young man (Radcliffe’s character) who has a religious and sexual fascination with horses. The psychiatrist is being played by Richard Griffiths, who played Harry’s cruel Uncle Vernon in the Harry Potter films.

Harry Potter is headed to The Great White Way. Daniel Radcliffe, the star of the “Harry Potter” movies, will make his Broadway debut on Sept. 5, playing the disturbed stable boy in a revival of Peter Shaffer’s play, “Equus,” it was announced Tuesday.

Radcliffe, 18, earned rave reviews for his performance in the London production of the Tony Award-winning play. He also received loads of media attention for appearing naked onstage - a departure from his wholesome image as the bespectacled boy wizard in the big-screen adaptations of J.K. Rowling’s best-selling fantasy novels.

“Equus” begins previews Sept. 5 for a limited 22-week run at the Broadhurst Theatre. The play opens Sept. 25-Feb. 8, 2009. Thea Sharrock directs.

[From the Huffington Post]

Supposedly the play is amazing. It sounds a bit odd, but that’s generally a good foundation for a spectacular play. There’s something about the thought of seeing Harry Potter totally naked that seems so wrong to me. There was much talk about Daniel’s nudity the first time around during the play’s London showing, and I imagine the same will happen in New York.

Pictures from Celebrity.Log via Lipstick.

Just when you thought she was about to succumb to the mind-numbing effects of too much niacin, Katie Holmes may make her debut on Broadway. The Daily Mail is reporting that she’s in final talks to star in a revival of Arthur Miller’s dramatic play, “All My Sons.” John Lithgow and Dianne Wiest have already committed to the play, and it sounds like Katie is about to sign on:

Katie Holmes is in final negotiations to make her professional stage debut on Broadway.

The producer of a revival of All My Sons, Arthur Miller’s heartbreaking, post-World War II family drama, is clearly hoping Holmes (aka the third Mrs Tom Cruise) will create some sizzle at the box office later this year.

It would be the first major revival of a Miller play since the dramatist’s death three years ago.

All My Sons, to be directed by British-born Simon McBurney, would also allow Holmes to be more than “Mrs Tom Cruise” for six nights a week.

The actress has committed to taking part in a private workshop of the play in May. She will play the part of a woman who visits her former neighbours, the family of a missing pilot she once loved.

Producer Eric Falkenstein has already cast Broadway veterans John Lithgow and Dianne Wiest, which has had the desired effect of making Ms Holmes more comfortable about taking on her first play since high school.

Holmes has told McBurney and Falkenstein that she is serious about working in the theatre.

[From The Daily Mail]

Do you think Katie Holmes has the chops to star on Broadway? I read through the plot synopsis on Wikipedia (spoilers), hoping that there would be a kissing scene that would cause Tom to reject her bid for Broadway, but unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be the case. Like Miller’s other work it’s not a very uplifting story, but it’s probably moving and thought-provoking. I think Katie will play the character Ann Deever, who is a 26 year-old woman interested in the brother of a man she used to date who is missing in action. It takes place during WWII and involves a family torn apart by the war and an ethical dilemma.

Doesn’t Katie have a $35 million mansion to decorate and thousand dollar shoes to buy? She doesn’t have the time or the energy to play a character on Broadway. Maybe she can hire a more talented actress to do the role for her and slip in for the end part where she bows on stage. There are plenty of other mousy women that look just like her. She could get away with it.

Katie Holmes is shown on 3/16/08 after having lunch, when she stumbled and Star made a cover story about it. Thanks to WENN for these pictures.

Paris Hilton has been working on the rock musical film “Repo: The Genetic Opera” in Canada, where she ran into some trouble after she demanded that management at an adult video store in Toronto remove posters advertising her “One Night in Paris” film. “Repo” wasn’t the only venue where Paris wanted to exhibit her breathy vocals, which will be gracing airwaves less frequently after she was dropped by her record label.

Although Paris can arguably sing well enough after her voice is remastered, she apparently can’t do much more than pole dance. Paris auditioned for a role in the Broadway version of Chicago, the play in which Ashlee Simpson graced the stage as Roxie Hart in London last fall. Producers invited her to audition for a possible role as Roxie or Velma, and had to pass because she couldn’t dance at all:

Paris Hilton just flopped a dance audition for “Chicago” because “she simply can’t move,” says choreographers. The show’s producers often invite movie and/or TV stars to take over major roles… and Paris aimed to shine as either Roxie or Velma… But when choreographers taught her simple dance moves, Paris was “too stiff” for anything beyond her trademark nightclub booty-shakin’, said an insider, who added “It didn’t help telling producers she ‘knew nothing’ about their show because she ‘hardly ever’ goes to the theater.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker’s column, November 19, 2007]

So not only can Paris not dance, she also failed to do the basic research for the role. It’s not like she even had to read because she could have just rented the movie!

Paris is currently doing the promotional tour for her super-cheap looking perfume, Can Can. She will appear at Macy’s at the Roosevelt Field Mall in Garden City, NY tomorrow at 6:00 pm. The moral of this story is that Paris should stick to what she does best - marketing cheap shit with her name on it.

Here’s Paris at a press conference for FILA on 10/11/07 to promote her new collaboration with the sports clothing line. Thanks to WENN for these photos.

Jennifer Garner made her Broadway debut last night in Cyrano de Bergerac with Kevin Kline. Unlike Julia Roberts’ Broadway debut, Garner was largely positively reviewed, with critics hailing her performance as Roxanne.

Newsday says she “breaks the recent Broadway curse of the Hollywood stars,” and that “she flips comfortably from the comic to the plucky and, finally, to the heroic.” The NY Times also praises both Kline and Garner, calling Garner “by far the most comfortable [on stage]” and lauding her performance and timing. the Canadian press did give the play a mixed review, saying that Garner “finds little nuance in her portrayal of Roxanne.” Considering all the other triumphant reviews, it just sounds like one critic was particularly hard on the play.

Garner says she’s not going to pay attention to the reviews, though, and told People Magazine. “I’m not going to look at [them]. No. I can’t stand it.” She doesn’t have much to worry about though.

Garner’s husband of two years, Ben Affleck, was at the premiere and said he was “really impressed by her courage and her talent.” As are the rest of us.

Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures of Jennifer, and Splash News for the pictures of Ben.

Kelly Osbourne will join the cast of the London product of “Chicago” starting September 10th. She’ll be in the show for a seven week run, and play the role of Mama Morton. Queen Latifah played the role in the film version of the play. As I remember it, that particular character requires a lot of bravado – something I’m not sure that Kelly has. On her family’s reality show, she came across more as the whiny, complaining type. Kelly also seems a bit young for the role – Mama Morton is, by definition, an older mother type.

“’It’s been a dream of mine to be in the West End, I can’t wait to work with such an amazing cast.’” And Chicago producer Barry Weissley adds, ‘We’re very excited that Kelly is joining the production. She’s internationally recognised, she’s unique - it’s the perfect match.’”

[From PR Inside]

Kelly is a master at changing her look. Every time a new picture of her comes out, you have no clue whether she’ll be chubby or thin. I remember everyone making a big deal out of her weight loss a while ago, and she told a reporter she wanted to pose nude in Playboy, to which Hugh Hefner cattily replied “’I can’t see it happening somehow - we don’t airbrush to that extent.’” Kelly’s mother Sharon Osbourne famously struggled with her weight until she had a gastric lap band put in several years ago. Recent pictures of Kelly seem to show that she’s put weight back on, but that could be for her role, which generally is played by a larger (and older) woman. It’ll be interesting to see her reviews, and if she actually has any singing or acting talent. Her album was pretty much panned and didn’t produce a hit single, but her acting was decent, if a little stilted, on the short-lived ABC drama “Life As We Know It.” Maybe she’ll prove herself and get some credibility.

Update by Celebitchy: Can I just say how much I loved that “Live as We Know It” show? It was a shame that it was canceled. Kelly wasn’t that great on it, but the guy who played her boyfriend, Chris Lowell, was just awesome. Plus it was an excellent show all-around. Anyway, Kelly does look like she’s lost weight again, and I don’t think JayBird has seen these recent pictures. Thanks to I’m Not Obsessed and The Daily Mail.

Claire Danes will make her Broadway debut in George Bernard Shaw’s “Pygmalion” beginning September 21st. She will star as Eliza Doolittle, the character with the world’s most offensive accent. Danes is currently starring in the movie “Evening” which is getting lackluster reviews.

“Well-known as the inspiration for the Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe musical My Fair Lady, the Shaw drama based on the classical myth finds “Professor Henry Higgins [who] comes across a poor and uneducated Cockney girl named Eliza Doolittle… [and] makes a bet that he can take Eliza from the gutters of London and pass her off as a society lady, by simply teaching her the right dialect in which to speak,” as show notes explain.”

[From Playbill]

I can’t wait to hear her do that accent. It’s like nails on glass. If you remember, Claire Danes is the woman who broke up Billy Crudup and Mary-Louise Parker’s seven-year long relationship. Crudup left Parker, seven months pregnant at the time, for Danes. They spent a while denying they were together, but eventually it became obvious. Both parties were said to be pretty unapologetic about the whole thing.

It really is hard to wish someone well after hearing a story like that. Has Claire Danes really done anything of note since “My So Called Life?” She’s done some chic-flicks that were less than memorable, and has participated in a bit of theater. I think she’s still best known for that show, and for being an almost-homewrecker.

Pictures are of Claire Danes at Valentino’s 45th Annniversary Gala. Thanks to PRPhotos.

17 year-old Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe will break out of his child actor role with a controversial turn on the London stage in the acclaimed play Equus. Radcliffe will portray a stable boy who is pathologically fascinated with horses, and is in therapy with a psychologist who faces his own issues while treating him.

Radcliffe will act out a sex scene and will also appear in the buff on stage, as I’m sure you’ve heard.

Equus premieres at London’s Gielgud Theater on February 27, and also stars Richard Griffiths as the therapist. You may know Griffiths from the Harry Potter movies, where he plays Harry’s mean bumbling uncle, Vernon Dursley.

The fifth Harry Potter film, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is tentatively due for release in the US on July 13, 2007.

Pictures from Celebrity.Log via Lipstick.