Okay, I know she’s 68 and I know she’s a legend and I know I reenact Private Dancer whenever I’m alone and cleaning the house, but can we talk about this for a minute:

This is Tina Turner in Paris, France receiving the distinguished ‘Legion D’Honneur Award‘… wearing green glitter slinky and hair that would make the cast of Steel Magnolias jealous.

Now before you start with me about how she’s an eight time Grammy winner, is the reigning “Queen of Rock and Roll”, is the most successful female rock artist of all time and has sold more concert tickets than any other solo performer in history, I’d like to point out that in the Los Angeles garment district, green glitter slinky runs about $2.99 a yard.

With all her hundreds of millions she couldn’t have someone bring her a dress that cost at least $20 to wear to a ceremony that has been preceded by such notables as Dwight D. Eisenhower, Josephine Baker, Winston Churchill, Barbra Streisand, Victor Hugo and Julia Child? (I love me a notable that’s a culinary goddess.)

I mean I KNOW her skin is freakin’ porcelain and her blush is the perfect shade of warm apricot and she’s got fabulous cleavage and gams for days, but you’re a Buddhist Tina Turner: Your hair doesn’t have to be closer to God!

She can’t always look like this:

But can’t we tone down that Coral-From-Hell lip color, lose that knock-off Heart of the Ocean necklace someone picked up at Lane Bryant and be a Proud Mary in hopes that death by fashion suicide isn’t what is beyond Thunderdome?

Header photos and images below with Giorgio Armani are from WENN. Second photo from Topwomen.org