Oh to be a spoiled little Scientologist! Suri Cruise sounds like she’s got it made – at least for now. According to Us Weekly, the tot almost never hears the word “no.” In Scientology, it’s considered better to explain why actions are wrong. I can’t argue with that – but I think a “no” now and then might be useful, like “No! Don’t lay down in the train tracks!” It might be a little quicker than explaining what the force and weight of a train can do to a body. But that’s just me, and I’m close-minded like that. This article makes it sound like Suri is spoiled, so it’s hard to tell if it’s due to Scientology or overly-doting parents.

“Everyone knows that Suri Cruise, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ adorable little daughter, leads a charmed existence but her upbringing as a Scientologist remains largely a mystery. How does the religion started by L. Ron Hubbard influence Suri’s life on a daily basis? Us Weekly has learned that while Suri — who as a baby was breastfed and nursed on a mixture of barley water, milk and corn syrup which Hubbard advocated as being healthier than formula and breast milk — is too young to take classes at the Scientology Centre, the 18-month-old is constantly surrounded by believers, including her two nannies.

“‘Tom doesn’t like associating with people who aren’t Scientologists,’ says an insider. Additionally, Holmes, 29, and Cruise, 45, have a hard time saying no to Suri. But it’s not simply because they’re pushovers. ‘It’s all about being positive and supportive,’ says the couple’s friend (Hubbard advised parents to ‘try to be the child’s friend.’) As for discipline, one former church member tells Us that Scientologists do not scold their children, but instead explain that bad behavior (like throwing a toy) is the ‘wrong action.’ (A Scientology rep tells Us, ‘How a parent disciplines their child is left up to the parent.’)

“Cruise and Holmes, says their pal, are very lenient and do not like to give Suri too many rules: ‘Suri pretty much does whatever she wants, whenever she wants. If she fusses before bed, they let her stay up later. If they want her to go swimming and she cries, they’ll take her out. If she whines about food, they’ll ask her what else she wants to eat. They always want to please her.’”

[From Us Weekly]

Ooooohhh, Tom and Katie are such bad parents. They want to make their kid happy! I’m kidding, that’s a pretty natural inclination. On the one hand you want to be firm, and on the other you want your kid to like you. I can’t help but wonder if L Ron Hubbard would have the same ideas about parents being their children’s friend if he’d seen the way Lindsay Lohan turned out. Yeah, when your parent/friend snorts coke with you, you may have blurred the lines a bit.

What are some other scientology pearls of wisdom regarding child rearing? Here’s a recap of what Celebitchy wrote a year ago:

“In yet another disturbing chapter of the TomKat saga, Mike Wallace of the National Enquirer reports that Scientologists plan to commandeer Katie’s baby for three days after its birth. What’s more, the baby will be isolated for a day after it’s born. Despite reports that she’s spending 8 hours a day being indoctrinated into Scientology, Katie has come to her senses and is questioning this counter-intuitive practice:

“furious KATIE HOLMES warned fiancé/daddy-to-be TOM CRUISE that she’ll absolutely refuse to allow Scientologists to commandeer her newborn at birth for what their church calls “Processing a New Mother” - a bizarre ritual which involves separating mother and child for three days, allowing only minimal contact! As her time approaches, sources say, Katie’s becoming hysterical over the idea that her baby will be controlled by the sect’s handlers from the moment he/she enters the world. In a raging confrontation, Katie told Tom she flatly rejects Scientology’s edict that newborns should be left totally alone for the entire first day after birth.

“Any human who’s not brainwashed would agree that it’s harmful and cruel to leave a newborn baby alone at any time, especially on its first day in the world. It’s also quite difficult, if not impossible, to breastfeed if you don’t start up within the first three days after birth. This is wrong for so many reasons.”

Want to know some other freaky stuff? If you’re a Scientologist and your kid trips over the root of a tree and hurts himself, you’re supposed to take the kid back to the tree and press the root against the injury, and give the pain back to the root. True story.

“Parents are encouraged not to comfort or nurture young children because Hubbard believed children are small adults, able to think and fend for themselves from a very early age. For example, a child who falls and hurts himself is taken to the place where he was hurt and the injury is pressed against the object that caused it. It is believed the pain can be made to flow back into the object.

“‘That’s called a contact assist,’ Teresa Summers said. ‘There is also a fever assist. We were discouraged from seeking medical help or giving medication, even Tylenol, to bring down a fever. Instead, you get the child to hold an object still. That’s supposed to bring down the fever. When it doesn’t work, it’s because you aren’t doing it right or didn’t repeat it often enough. I tried it on my child. Naturally, it didn’t work.’”

[From the New York Post]

Good luck Suri!

Remember the “suicide” death of that Tom Cruise photo extortioner who supposedly hung himself while he was on house arrest? Everyone was saying it looked like a Church of Scientology job, not that uh, we would ever suggest that. The National Enquirer has the details of how the guy was found, and it sounds even more suspicious.

The shower stall where he hung himself was too low for him to have done the job properly and he would have had to bring his knees up under him to hang himself. Who commits suicide like that? Wouldn’t someone chose a more effective method than squatting to die if they were serious about it?

David Hans Schmidt, 47, was found hanged in the shower of his Phoenix home on Sept. 28 - after police were alerted that the court-ordered house arrest monitor he was wearing had gone silent..

He was just days away from pleading guilty - and faced two years in prison - when he was found dead.

Police sergeant Any Hill told The Enquirer that they were treating the case as a suicide.

But a bizarre detail could cast a cloud over the investigation.

“Schmidt had been hanging for at least a day when he was found, revealed an insider.

“And the shower stall was so low that to achieve the drop needed to hang himself, he had to bring his knees up under him, like he was squatting.

“It was such an unusual situation that some people have discussed the possibility of foul play.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, October 15, 2007]

Now this is pure speculation, not that we’re above that or anything, but if Schmidt was about to plead guilty for the Tom Cruise extortion case is it possible that details about the pictures could have been leaked? Is it reasonable to think that some information may get out as part of his plea bargain and that someone might have feared that?

So far all we know about the Tom Cruise photos were that they were of his wedding, but how valuable would regular non-scandalous wedding photos be after the fact? No one wants to see wedding candids of celebrities months afterward unless there’s something going on that the celebrities wouldn’t want to get out.

Schmidt is said to have a lot of other “powerful enemies,” so it’s possible that even if it was foul play there were any number of people or shady cult organizations that could have been behind it. It sounds like the case is going to be considered a suicide despite the odd nature of how the man was hung, and we will probably only have our active imaginations to fill in the details of how he died and who was responsible.

Speaking of imaginations, if someone was killed and then hung like that to make it look like a suicide how would you do it? Would you smother them with a pillow so there aren’t marks and then hang them up with their knees under them so that it looks like they were asphyxiated that way? Did this guy even get an autopsy? It doesn’t sound like it.

Header image via The Bosh.

Tom Cruise is laying out plans to build a huge underground bunker at his Telluride, Colorado estate. It will have a state of the art air purification system and will be large enough with enough equipment and supplies for at least ten people to survive for years. That’s not crazy or anything.

Devout Scientologist Tom Cruise plans to build a $10 million bunker under his Telluride, Colorado, mansion, a source tells Star! Equipped with a high tech air-purifying system, “it’s a self-contained underground system where up to 10 people can survice for years.” Apparently, Scientologists believe that the evil deposed galatic [sic] ruler Xenu is set to attack Earth, and they’ll need a safe place to survive.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, October 1, 2007]

According to the drug-fueled ramblings of Scientology’s founder, L Ron Hubbard, there was a big attack 75 million years ago in which this Xenu guy made billions of people line up by volcanoes and terminated them with hydrogen bombs. All of our problems stem from this one incident, claim Scientologists, and our memories and psychological problems are made up of the fractured souls of the people who were killed. We would all have god-like knowledge and ability if only we could free ourselves of the trauma of that event. This is something that Scientologists are brainwashed to believe they have achieved once they surrender enough time, money, common sense and free will. Only when they reach the highest level of the cult, or Operating Thetan 3, are Scientologists told the story about the volcano genocide, but thanks to the wonder of the Internet you get it for free.

I wasn’t able to dig up much about Scientology’s teachings on the end of the world, and maybe you can help shed some light onto this matter. According to Wikipedia, Xenu is supposedly trapped in an alternate universe forever, kind of like those three villains stuck under glass and floating in space in the Superman movie. He could come back though, and only the super rich deluded folks like Cruise and Travolta will be prepared.

Concern for the survival of one’s family in the event of a nuclear attack or massive world war is only natural, and maybe if I had a quarter of a billion dollars I would consider setting up a giant underground bunker too. I really doubt it though. The only preparations I made on December 31, 1999 were getting an outfit and having my nails done for a New Year’s party. Stockpiling water and supplies for the millennium just wasn’t high on my to-do list.

Maybe if Cruise could pop some lithium every day he wouldn’t be so worried about the end of the world. Along with providing ease of mind and more stable moods, it would be a hell of a lot cheaper, too. L Ron Hubbard must have realized that prescription medication would help his most devoted followers figure out what bullshit he was preaching, so he decided to make psychiatrists enemy number one. The guy was crazy like a fox.

In other Tom Cruise news, he has been given permission by the German government to film scenes for his Nazi hero movie Valkyrie at the Bendlerblock building, a World War II historic site. The German government was initially reluctant to grant permission to film there due to concern for the preservation of the site. A minute of silence was observed at the location this weekend before filming began.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are shown leaving an Italian restaurant in Berlin on Thursday. Thanks to WENN for these pictures. All details about Scientology from Operation Clambake and Wikipedia.

Nicole Kidman has a very revealing (for her) interview in October’s issue of “Vanity Fair.” The actress talks a bit more in depth about her marriage to Tom Cruise, and confirms some rumors that floated around the time of their divorce. People were always questioning what was “wrong” with their marriage since they never had biological children. That always annoyed the crap out of me – people can choose to adopt for a million reasons, most of them having nothing to do with anything being “wrong.” I think it was more fuel for the “Is Tom Cruise gay?” fire, just like Jamie Lee Curtis adopting was more fuel for the “Is she really a hermaphrodite?” fire. With the adopting doesn’t prove anything, people seem to think it bolsters their case. In Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s case, she confirms that she had a miscarriage when she was 23 which devastated her. She met Tom Cruise in 1990, when she was 23, so it was obviously very early in their relationship.

“Nicole Kidman has revealed how early on in her marriage to her ex Tom Cruise she became pregnant and lost the baby due to miscarriage. Kidman has never spoken about the miscarriage until now in her interview with Vanity Fair, and said that it happened when she was 23.

“However, Kidman was so desperate to have a baby that the couple decided to adopt less than two years later. She also admits how she’s wanted a child of her own since she was 17.”

[From the Cleveland Leader]

Nicole makes it clear in the interview that she really loved Tom and was willing to give up a lot to be with him, even if that meant her career. She never comes across as a victim of his reportedly controlling ways though.

“‘My agents told me, “Once you become Mrs. Tom Cruise, you do know your career is going to die,’” says Kidman, who won an Oscar for her portrayal of Virginia Woolf in 2002’s ‘The Hours.’

“‘I was appalled,’ she says. ‘I was like, “Hello? I’m in love, and I don’t care if it’s shooting myself in the foot. I’d much rather be married and have a family.”’

“The couple ‘lost a baby early on, so that was really very traumatic,’ she says. ‘And that’s when it came that we would adopt Bella.’

“Cryptically, she adds: ‘There’s a complicated background to that, given that I never speak much about many things. One day maybe that story will be told.’”

[From the Associated Press]

You’ve got to give Tom and Nicole some credit for adopting because they really wanted kids. It wasn’t the trendy thing to do back in the day, and no one added on to their brood like they were picking out vegetables at the grocery store. Sometimes it’s hard not to feel badly for Nicole, even though she seems a bit too prim and slightly ice queeny. And I’m not even going to touch that Botoxed brow of hers – mostly because I’m afraid the toxin might leak through. But she seemed to give up a lot of herself to be with Tom. She converted to Scientology (though she later said she never believed any of it) which must have been difficult, given that her father is a very prominent Australian biochemist and a clinical psychologist – and Scientology labels all psychiatry a “pseudo-science.” She was willing to give up her career – though she’s had some great roles and seems to have done fine in that regard. You just get the feeling that she really lived under Tom’s thumb (so to speak). I’m not even going to touch the “Tom Cruise is gay” issue, but only because he sues the pants off of anyone who dares to suggest it. Nicole says she’s like to have a biological child with husband Keith Urban, who is slowly coming around to the idea. Even though the couple have had some struggles relating to his substance abuse, she seems a lot happier with him, and he seems all around less scary and controlling than Tom. Let’s hope they get what they want, and stay far, far away from Xenu.

There was a rumor that originated in ever-reliable Life & Style Magazine this week that little maybe 16-month-old Suri Cruise was offered a lucrative modeling gig as the new infant face of Baby Gap. JayBird covered that story here, and Life & Style had Tom and Katie turning down the offer and choosing to stage their own photo ops for the toddler.

The story was repeated, changed and unsourced by ExtraTV, SFGate, and Digital Spy, among others and in the gossip telephone game it became changed to suit the hearers’ wishes. Suri was suddenly set to model khakis and romper wear in a national campaign.

Tom Cruise’s people say there’s no truth to the rumor that Suri will be modeling for Baby Gap, but they fail to mention if they were approached about it. I like to think that part of the story is true:

A rep for Tom Cruise is denying reports that his youngest daughter is going to be the new face of Baby Gap.

The rumor is “totally untrue,” according to the actor’s publicist.

Reports surfaced on Wednesday that Suri had signed a lucrative contract with the kids clothing company.

[From US Weekly]

US Weekly also points out Suri’s eventful summer, mentioning that she’s been all over the globe from Louisiana to the South of France, Italy, and Germany. While Brad and Angelina are always getting flap for bringing their four children along with them around the world, no one ever mentions how little jet-setting Suri gets moved around a lot too. Maybe that’s because she’s younger and doesn’t have any siblings yet.

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise were turned away from a St. Tropez nightclub on Friday, with owners saying that the VIP area was full. It was full - with P Diddy and the Royal family of Dubai spending money like water.

The actor, 45, and wife Katie Holmes, 28, were left fuming after being turned away from a St Tropez nightclub in front of dozens of onlookers.

And to add to the humiliation, P Diddy WAS allowed in to party away at the Caves Du Roi club in the exclusive Byblos Hotel.
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Tom and Katie turned up at the super-hip venue on Friday at 11pm.

While Katie looked suitably sexy in a little black number, Tom drew a few unflattering gasps in his naff blue jumper. Mmm, not a good start mate.

The bouncers then refused them entry.

Nonetheless, the actor’s security started begging: “Are you serious? It’s Tom Cruise.” But the heavies were having none of it, telling Tom’s people: “Non, non, non!”

A club source told us: “The VIP area was full and the management weren’t willing to move the guests already there to make room for Tom.

“It wouldn’t have been fair - they’d spent a fortune.”

Tom turned on his heel and walked off with Katie scampering after him.

Last night a hotel spokeswoman confirmed they turned them away as the club was “full”. She added: “It would have been dangerous to allow any more people in - whoever they were.”

[From The Mirror]

They then went to a club called The VIP Room, and Cruise was said to have “looked out of place” at the club throbbing with house music. Katie and Tom left early and didn’t drink much of the Dom Perignon they ordered.

Back at the club where TomKat was denied entry, the Caves Du Roi at the Byblos Hotel, Diddy was partying up a storm with the Dubai royal family. According to The Mirror they were drinking $40,000 bottles of Methuselah Cristal. The bottle is 7 liters, and when guests order it at the Byblos Hotel club they dim the lights and serve it on a silver tray adorned with sparklers. Guess a measly bottle of Dom doesn’t really measure up.

In other “Tom Cruise is a dork” news, Cruise is said to tease new LA resident Victoria Beckham about her British accent and slang. He has started using words like “bloody”, “blimey” and “chaps.” Maybe in turn Posh will call everything “amazing.”

Here are Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes on the night in question. If Cruise wasn’t famous, do you think he’d have a chance getting into an exclusive club in a tight button up shirt like that?

Thanks to Splash News for these pictures.

The gossip rags have moved on from calling wan Katie Holmes a brainwashed Stepford wife to championing the changes in her after she made an appearance at Paris fashion week without Tom. I guess a new face makes all the difference.

In Touch says she’s calling the shots now, and claims she’s trying to get her career back and is taking advice from Victoria Beckham to make sure her man is under control:

Until recently, Katie has rarely been seen unless she is attached to Tom’s hip at his kid’s soccer games, on the red carpet and at charity events. After she met Tom, Katie shut out most of her old friends in order to give Tom constant attention. However, her new, close friendship with Victoria Beckham is changing everything.

The duo travelled to Paris on January 23 to attend Couture Week. Strong, confident Victoria, 32, “is helping Katie assert her power and independence,” and insider says, and - as the mother of three boys… giving her tips on how to be a working mom…

Lately, Katie seems stifled around Tom. At a party for musician Prince at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel on January 15, “Tom practically had to drag her around,” an onlooker tells In Touch. And when Tom had a conversation with 24 star Keifer Sutherland, “Katie just stood there, looking totally bored,” the witness says.

[From In Touch print edition, January 12, 2007]

The article goes on to say that Katie is focusing on her career now and that she is in talks to star in what is sure to be a crappy movie with Queen Latifah called Mad Money. They say Tom wants more kids but that Katie probably won’t be popping out another one soon.

In Touch is most likely checking out the pictures and making this story up, but it seems fundamentally true. Katie is branching out, and if we can be forgiven for engaging in this same overanalysis of paparazzi photos, she looks like she’s having a good time, but also that she’s acting for the cameras and no longer thinks Tom is a God like everyone else in his cult religion.

If you check out the pictures of her out with him in Miami on Superbowl weekend she has this faraway look in her eye. It’s possible that she’s planning her next move, and that she really has broken out of that Stepford mold. Those must be the thetans talking though, and some intense auditing should cure her.

Here are Katie and Tom leaving their hotel in Miami on 2/3.

Story via Sammie’s Effluvia. Pictures from KatieHolmes.com.

In truly frightening news Tom Cruise and Ben Stiller are in talks to star in a Hardy Boys all grown up comedy Hardy Men. It all started when

Tom Cruise met with Ben Stiller about possibly starring Ben’s newest project Tropic Thunder, a film that mocks the Mission Impossible trilogy, but that Cruise won’t be involved with that project. The site also reports that Cruise sees the Stiller comedy as a way to remold his image after a string of bad publicity surrounding his odd behavior including jumping on couches and calling Matt Lauer glib.

Having recently finished impregnating (?) and re-sculpting Katie Holmes both outside and inside, nasally and spiritually, Cruise is busting a Betsy Ross on the tatters of his reputation.

The theory being that a comedy will make him both likable again and somehow imply that he’s in on the joke – rather than the personally trained butt of it.

When looking for a comedy project - clearly the Ben Stiller train is leaving every five minutes. Stiller’s manic over-production seems to turn major motion picture production into a weekly Sketch Comedy show. Something will be rolling out with a catch phrase and a basic parody concept no matter what day of the week it is. Mission Impossible parody not a good fit … no worries … he has baker’s dozen of half-conceived projects already in pre-production. This boy needs a lot of love from a lot of people all the time.

Lucky for Ben The Wayan Brother keep churning out their product — insuring the Hollywood bottom feeders rung is always occupied … sometimes your competition is the only thing that keeps you from coming in last.

Stills via Tenth Planet.net

The National Enquirer’s recent cover story claims that Katie Holmes is a shadow of her former self and has all aspects of her life controlled by her pint-sized cult-loving husband, Tom Cruise. They say he limits her phone calls to fifteen minutes, controls her extracurricular activities, and makes sure she approves all of her outfits before she is permitted to leave the house.

Pals of the 28 year-old actress are terrified that Tom and his fellow church members have virtually taken over eager-to-please Katie’s life, reducing an independent and free-spirited young woman to a submissive shell of her former self. Some insiders have even started calling her “The Stepford Wife” behind her back.

“It is like she obeys him like a pet or robot,” said a family insider. “It’s really creepy…”

Raised Catholic, she’s now dutifully following Tom’s lead and has immersed herself in Scientology, severing nearly all ties with her past.

“Any friends that Katie calls, and there are very few left since she hooked up with Tom, are cleared by him,” claims the insider.

Whats more, she spends only about 15 minutes per phone call, even when she’s speaking with family members….

Tom also approves his wife’s wardrobe, banning anything he considers too sexy.

“Tom doesn’t want Katie wearing anything flashy - and nothing too revealing either,” added the insider. “He’s very specific about what she wears - and if it’s not to his liking, she changes before leaving the house.”

[From The National Enquirer print edition, January 29, 2007]

To me, this sounds like a re-tread of an In Touch story from two weeks ago, in which they basically said the same thing about Katie. In fact, this Enquirer story even went on to repeat the anecdote about Tom overhearing Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom invite Kate to Hyde and putting the kibosh on their plans.

There’s not much new information in that Enquirer story, and it seems likely that the insider is just a person who read the In Touch story and filled in some more details. Of course it ’s probably true that Katie doesn’t have a lot of freedom under the evil watch of the Scientology cult, but she could also just be tired or worn out from being a mom or whatever.

A jucier story is the one that Tom and Katie were seen celebrating what looked like little Suri’s birthday while out at a restaurant recently. The catch is that it’s January, and they claimed Suri was born in April of last year. This lends some credence to all those “conspiracy theories” about Suri not being Toms or being older than they claim. It’s not a conspiracy if it’s true.

Here’s Katie at the opening of Georgio Armani’s shop in Paris yesterday with Victoria Beckham. She dresses a bit frumpy, and maybe that’s why The Enquirer is saying Tom approves her outfits, but it could just be her style. She looks pretty happy and normal here.

Update: Oh No They Didn’t! has before and after photographs that suggest that Katie Holmes had a recent nose job. It looks like it to me.

Pictures from KatieHolmes.com

One of the ways the Scientology cult ropes in vulnerable recruits is through their sham drug rehab front, Narconon. Narconon tries to sound official with a name that can easily be confused for the legitimate self-help group, Narcotics Anonymous, with which they are in no way affiliated. They make addicts go cold turkey and advocate a medically unsound detox regimen that includes saunas and vitamins. Narconon uses mind control tactics to convert people to Scientology.

It’s not surprising, then, that Cruise is said to have recommended Narconon to Keith Urban, who was just released from an accredited rehab for alcoholism treatment. The National Enquirer reports that Tom Cruise and his ex, Nicole Kidman, are battling a religous war over how to raise their two children, Isabella, 14 and Conner, 11.

Now Cruise is pushing Nicole to get back into the fold and to bring her troubled new husband along with her.

Tom has suggested that Keith explore Scientology as a means to conquer his addictions, continued the friend.

That opened up a lot of old wounds from Tom and Nicole’s previous religious clases.

Tom, 44, also is worried about the children being around Keith until he can be sure Keith has conquered his demons, and he’s made that clear to Nicole…

Another close source confirms that Tom and Nicole’s long-standing friction over Scientology has resurfaced with a vengeance - especially since Tom has offered to help Keith get clean through the religion.

“Nicole feels she’s got everything under control and Keith is well on the way to a full recover,” said the source.

“The last thing she wanted to hear was a Scientology pitch from Tom - especially regarding Keith…”

[From The National Enquirer print edition, January 22, 2007]

They also claim that Tom’s new Stepford bride Katie Holmes backs him on the Scientology issue, and that Nicole probably feels like she’s being teamed up on.

The article quotes a cult expert who says that Nicole, who has left Scientology and is now a Catholic, risks losing her children entirely if she says one bad thing about the cult. It sounds like Tom is threatening to take away her children if she doesn’t play along. She seems to barely see them as it is.

Keith Urban has been released from rehab and was seen out at a Golden Globes after party with Nicole. He will start touring Europe in April, which is sure to test his newfound sobriety.

Here are Katie and Tom leaving a Golden Globes after party. Pictures from KatieHolmes.com.