Despite a lot of internet speculation over an unfortunately poufy dress, it appears that Katie Holmes isn’t pregnant after all. At least according to her PR rep, who I have a policy of never believing. I’m pretty sure they’re just paid to come up with a variety of ways to say “No.” If a “No comment” was given, or the always classic “We don’t comment on our clients’ personal lives” (my favorite, because what the hell do you do to earn you fee, Ms. Publicity Rep?) I would hope there was a little wiggle room and in a few months a baby would pop out. But the rep flat-out denied any pregnancy, which leaves me wondering: what the hell are TomKat going to do to stay in the spotlight now? I think it’s time for Tom to go on another Scientology rant. I think this time, he should choose… vegetables. They’re pseudoscience, and they’re bad for you! Anyway, here’s the official denial of another impending TomKitten.

Katie Holmes is the latest victim of the poufy dress pregnancy scare. She sent bloggers buzzing when she wore a high-volume Balenciaga gown at a Berlin airport October 13.

But a rep for the actress, 28, tells Usmagazine.com: “She is not pregnant.” Still, a family insider tells the latest issue of Us, “Katie told me she wants another child with [husband Tom Cruise].

“She talks about it a lot. But I do not know when exactly they plan to have another baby.” For the time being, she has her hands full with her 18-month-old daughter. “Katie treats Suri like her best girlfriend,” a source close to the family tells Us. “Suri is the center of it all.”

[From Us Magazine]

She treats a two year old like her best girlfriend? I don’t know about Katie, but I talk about some pretty inappropriate stuff with my best girlfriend – I doubt I’d tell my two year old how that guy I was dating turned out to be a total jerk. But it’s probably a good idea that Suri finds that out now, since Katie’s boyfriends are likely to pop up in her life from time to time. Oops! Did I say that? I would never accuse Katie Holmes of being Tom Cruise’s beard. That’s a lawsuit right there, is what that is. Either way, I find that comment kind of curious. Does your best girlfriend eat Gerber Graduates? I think not.

Picture note by Jaybird: Header image of Katie in the dress that made everyone speculate she was pregnant on October 13th. Probably not a good idea to wear it again. Splash Photos: Images thanks to Splash Photos.

According to ex members, Scientology teaches its followers to go to any lengths to silence critics, including murder. There have been several instances of questionable suicides and deaths (link has automatic music) of active and ex cult members, most recently of a well to do artist couple in NY. Jeremy Blake and Theresa Duncan committed suicide within days of each other after telling friends of extensive harassment and stalking by Scientologists.

Now the guy who claimed to have “wedding” pictures of Tom Cruise, the most high profile Scientologist around, has “committed suicide.” He was on house arrest after trying to extort money from Cruise for the photos. If he was trying to get paid millions for them, you know they weren’t just happy non-incriminating snaps:

The man who agreed to plead guilty to a plot to extort more than $1 million from Tom Cruise for stolen photos taken at his 2006 wedding to Katie Holmes in Italy was found dead in his home, the AP is reporting.

David Hans Schmidt, 47, was under house arrest and faced up to two years in federal prison. Authorities say it appears that he had committed suicide.

Schmidt, known as the Sultan of Sleaze, was found dead in his Phoenix townhouse on Friday afternoon after police noticed that a tracker placed on him had not moved and he had not checked in with them.

[From US Weekly]

It’s possible this man’s suicide was legitimate, not that I’m uh, suggesting that it was anything else. Daily News columnist George Rush says he was depressed and talking about suicide:

George Rush, one half of gossip columnist duo Rush & Molloy, said that Schmidt, who was most recently in the news for attempting to extort money from Tom Cruise, called him two weeks ago and told him of another suicide attempt.

“I did something really stupid. I put a belt around my neck in the shower. Fortunately, it didn’t work,” said Schmidt over the phone.

Rush says he encouraged Schmidt to get help. “He was phoning me every other day. I said, ‘You’ve got to get yourself on some medication. He said he was on some, but it just didn’t work for very long.

[From TMZ.com]

I’m sure the Scientologists will say it was all the fault of the antidepressants he was on. I picture a bunch of guys in dark suits shrugging and trying to look innocent, then pointing fingers.

According to The National Enquirer, the suicide was suspicious:

The 47-year-old Schmidt was found in a shower stall at a North 21st street condominium in Phoenix, AZ. “He hung himself, and the shower stall was so small, he had to squat to get the job done,” a source familiar with the situation said.

[From NationalEnquirer.com]

David Miscavige, the head of Scientology, was at Cruise’s wedding and there was a weird picture that came out of Cruise posing in what looked like a throne with his son Connor and Miscavige by his side. I wonder if they did any rituals at that wedding and if someone had documentation.

You know how you used to see photos of Tom Cruise’s kids, Isabella and Connor, all the time before baby Suri made her triumphant but long overdue debut? Tom and Katie seemed to be attending a sports game for one of the preteens every week, but now like they’ve been missing for months.

Isabella dyed her hair blue the minute she was down in Australia visiting her mom Nicole Kidman, but that was back in May. Connor hasn’t really been seen much either.

According to Star Magazine, Tom Cruise’s other kids are away at Scientology camp learning how to be good little cult members who don’t question authority:

As Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and their 15-month-old cutie Suri were snapped romping around Berlin in between his filming the World War II drama, Valkyrie, noticeably absent from these family outings were daughter Isabella, 14, and son Connor, 12. Nor were the two with mom Nicole Kidman, who is currently in Australia filming her own WWII epic. So where have the Cruise kids been all summer? Star has learned that the youngsters are in Oregon, at a camp 60 miles south of Portland run by the Church of Scientology! “The summer camp is part of the Scientology’s ‘get them while they’re young’ campaign,” a source who attended the camp tells Star. “While they will be enjoying horseback riding, swimming and all kinds of fun activities, some of their day is devoted to Scientology coursework.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, September 3, 2007]

Oh so that’s why the Cruise kids have been discarded like last season’s PR tactic - they needed to get their personality chips reset! Just send ‘em to camp for another round of coercion and they’ll come out smiling and ready to pose for more paparazzi pictures.

Just you wait, little Suri, your free will is next.

While I was doing the research for this post I found an interesting article from nearly 10 years ago posted on Factnet.org. They interviewed a guy who was second in command of Scientology and left to reveal their secrets. He talked about how celebrities are paid to endorse Scientology and the tactics that are used to make sure they don’t leave the fold or criticize the cult. They blackmail people, put extreme psychological pressure on them, and will hound anyone high profile who dares to leave. Scientology arranged Cruise’s divorce from his first wife, Mimi Rogers, and made sure he remained under their influence afterwards.

Celebrities are constantly monitored and judged to make sure that they don’t leave the cult or question its practices. Anyone that dares to do so is subject to extreme harassment and exposure of all the secrets collected about them by the cult, which can potentially end their careers. John Travolta supposed wanted to leave when he met a guy he fell in love with, but the head of the cult, John Miscavige put the kibosh on that and made sure that his people were around to pressure Travolta to give up his relationship and marry fellow Scientologist Kelly Preston instead.

It’s one thing for people like Cruise and Travolta to be figureheads for the money-making soul-sucking cult masquerading as a religion. It’s another for their kids to be forced to join before they have a chance to learn about life.

Suri Cruise is the kind of toddler that’s so cute, she makes child-haters want to have babies. Suri’s done a good job of stealing the attention away from her parents, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. Of course she’s got more personality than either of Xenu’s golden children – and unlike her father, when Suri jumps up and down on a couch, it’s cute, not creepy. Apparently others have taken notice, and she’s been offered a modeling gig by the Baby Gap. That would be just about the cutest thing ever.

“Is Tom and Katie’s baby Suri Cruise set to model? There is a buzz already that she was the model for the baby that is on the Downy box. The buzz earlier was this, ‘Look, it’s just an innocent box of Downy fabric softener. But when you look closer, doesn’t the Downy baby kind of look like Suri Cruise?’

”A rep for Downy says no way but it appears that the Baby Gap has noticed according to a report from Life & Style Weekly. But with their trip to Berlin it’s apparent that the adorable tot is starting to get more attention than her parents Tom Cruise and the fabulous Katie Holmes.

“An insider says Baby Gap even asked Tom and Katie if Suri could star in a campaign. So - is baby Suri going Hollywood? No way, the parents have declined the offer.”

[From the National Ledger]

That sucks! I mean, I respect your decision as good parents. I’m sorry, but that little kid is so cute it’s not fair to keep her from the public. People speculate over whether she’s really genetically Tom Cruise’s child (I think she’s starting to look like him in the eyes, so I’m going to say yes) and whether he and Katie really conceived Suri naturally or if she’s a test tube baby. I couldn’t care less, wherever that baby came from, I want to order up half a dozen. If there’s a vial of her sitting in a lab somewhere, I think it should be made available to the general population.

In news that doesn’t make me sound quite so creepy, Tom and Katie took Suri to the Berlin Zoo this weekend. Tom is looking a little better lately (less bloated)… Katie is looking a little worse, but being around Tom Cruise all the time has got to wear on a girl.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Suri with Tom and Katie at the Berlin Zoo on August 11th. The beach photos are old, but they’re so cute I had to post them. Images thanks to WENN.

Forbes.com just released an analysis of who gives movies studios the most bang for their buck. I was kind of surprised, but it turns out the best investment is Matt Damon. In a way it makes sense: those “It” actors and actresses command such huge paychecks, that investment-wise, it’s hard to get the same return. For every dollar that Matt Damon is paid for a film, the movie returned $29. Pretty good deal.

“According to Forbes’ first-ever list of Ultimate Star Payback, the movie stars who deliver the best bang for the buck aren’t the industry’s top earners. Matt Damon, the soft-spoken leading man in box office winner The Bourne Ultimatum, turns out to be Hollywood’s best investment. For every dollar Damon got paid for his last three roles, his films returned $29 of gross income. And, surprisingly, former ‘Friends’ star Jennifer Aniston is Hollywood’s most profitable actress, despite duds like ‘Rumor Has It.’ For ever dollar the former Mrs. Pitt was paid for her last three major roles, her films on average returned $17 of gross income.”

[From Forbes.com]

Second place for actors went to Brad Pitt, and third place was a tie between Johnny Depp and Vince Vaughn. Vince Vaughn is the biggest surprise to me. It must be because he makes about $34 a film, so if the film makes $43,000 you’ve got a pretty good deal. Vaughn’s rate is actually about a million a film, a relative bargain in Hollywood terms. Forbes points out that his last three movies “’The Break-Up,’ ‘Wedding Crashers,’ ‘Dodgeball’–have been box office bonanzas relative to their low production costs. (At $52 million, The Break-Up’s budget was roughly 20% of “Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man’s Chest.).” The big budget actors like Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise and Will Smith only averaged about $12 in gross income per salary dollar.

The actor who gave the worst return, dollar for dollar? Russell Crowe. Forbes points out that his “standing in Hollywood has shrunk since he scored back-to-back consecutive Oscar nods for ‘The Insider’ (1999), ‘Gladiator’ (2000) and ‘A Beautiful Mind’ (2001). Crowe’s last three films earned on average just $5 in gross income for every dollar spent on the star. His most recent, last year’s ‘A Good Year,’ was made for $35 million, almost one-third of which went to Crowe’s salary. The film earned only $40 million in worldwide box office, making it a huge disappointment for Fox, which produced and distributed it.” Logically, it seems like the opposite should be true. Who would ever have guessed that getting three Oscar nominations in three years could be bad for your career?

You know who is not a good investment? Lindsay Lohan. For some reason Forbes doesn’t even bother mentioning this. Probably because it’s so obvious it doesn’t need stating. Ironically, I bet this report will raise Matt Damon’s salary, thus making him less of a great deal. Oh well. He’s still a good actor, and fun to look at.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Matt Damon yesterday at the Ft. Lauderdale International Film Festival. Header image of Matt and his wife Luciana Bozan Barroso from the “The Bourne Ultimatum” Los Angeles Premiere. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Tom Cruise is playing a Nazi Colonel who attempted to assassinate Hitler in a new film called Valkyrie, which is out next year. I thought that Germany banned Cruise from filming scenes there due to his status as the International celebrity spokesperson for the evil Scientology cult. Maybe he has some personal experience as a brainwashed atomaton that he can draw on to help prepare for his character.

I’m confused because an article on Rope Of Silicon says that principal photography just began on the film in Germany, but I know I read that Germany banned Cruise from filming there. It turns out that the story was that Cruise was banned by the German military, The Bundeswehr, from filming at military sites in the country due to his well-known status as a Scientologist. This brings into question his ability to effectively portray an important historic figure, and the German military doesn’t want to be associated with that. Cruise was not barred from filming in Germany in general.

Here’s more information about the thriller Cruise is filming:

Valkyrie is set to hit theaters August 8, 2008 and just began principal photography today in Berlin. Along with Cruise the film stars Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, Eddie Izzard, Christian Berkel, Thomas Kretschmann, and Carice van Houten.

The “July 20 Plot” on Hitler’s life is one of the most heroic but least known episodes of World War Two. Severely wounded in combat, Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg returns from Africa to join the German Resistance and help create Operation Valkyrie, the complex plan that will allow a shadow government to replace Hitler’s once he is dead. But fate and circumstance conspire to thrust Stauffenberg from one of many in the plot to a double-edged central role. Not only must he lead the coup and seize control of his nation’s government … He must kill Hitler himself.

“Valkyrie tells a story that is not only exciting but also important,” said Singer. “It’s something that Chris McQuarrie and I have wanted to do for some time. I can’t imagine shooting it anywhere else but on location in Germany, and I’m thrilled that we were able to get Tom Cruise to play Col. Stauffenberg.”

[From RopeofSilicon.com via Towelroad and ONTD]

The picture credit on Splash News says these pictures were taken near Berlin.

These picture were on ONTD and Rope of Silicon although it’s originally from Splash News and I’ll update it with a higher res version as soon a it becomes available. Thanks to ONTD and Towelroad for the story.

Here is Cruise’s profile next to Col. Claus von Stauffenberg, the historic figure he is portraying.

Tom and Katie sure looked happy at Jada Pinkett Smith’s party on 2/9, but recent tabloids have them fighting over various issues related to Katie’s newfound independence.

Last week we reported that In Touch was calling her a nag, and the February 12 issue of Star claims that Tom is livid over the fact that Katie wants to take baby Suri on a three month film shoot with her.

They also claim Tom wants another baby right away, but that Katie is putting him off in favor of trying to get her career back on track. Tom is even trying to control Katie’s career and is rejecting potential roles for her, but Katie isn’t having that:

Sources say Katie, 28, is coming out of her shell and asserting herself. And after more than a year on hiatus, she’s even returning to work, having just joined Diane Keaton and Queen Latifah in signing up for the crime caper Mad Money, which starts filming in Shreveport, LA, this spring. Naturally, she wants to bring Suri with her, but Tom has other ideas. “Tom is very angry about that,” says the source. Why? [Tom] will be busy running a movie studio, United Artists, back in L.A. and can’t afford to spend much time in Louisiana…

“He’s going to make sure Katie has a security force and Scientology minders with her,” says the source. “He’ll visit Louisiana some, but when he’s not there he’s going to be sure he has eyes and ears listening in for him!” (The couple’s rep denies this story.

Where Suri will be living this spring isn’t the only issue the couple is fighting over. For the last few months, Katie’s been reading scripts, but, says another insider, “Tom rejected everything! They were either not good enough or not hit-movie matieral.”

[From Star magazine print edition, February 12, 2007]

This could be true that Tom and Katie are fighting over her career and where Suri will stay, but they seem to be keeping up appearances well as usual. If Katie is breaking out of her brainwashed shell, there are bound to be some problems between them.

One thing Tom is no longer in control of is his young bride’s height. CityRag points out that Katie no longer appears shorter than Tom like in their wedding pictures, and seems to be wearing heels in these latest candids.

Thanks to KatieHolmes.com for these pics and Sammie’s Effluvia for the story.

or What Katie Didnt Do …

Lovely Liz Smith at Page Six reports that Katie Holmes suddenly remembers she’s an actress. Maybe they had to take her off the Stepford sedatives while she was recovering from her brash new rhinoplasty … don’t want to mix medications after all. Not when she has some good Thetan breeding years left in her yet.

Agency CAA is developing a new career plan since Katie has not worked during the two years since she fell for Tom. … [Moviefone] describe her connection to Tom Cruise as “a tabloid free-for-all” that didn’t do her any good, creating negative publicity. They say her “likability” rating has dived. And she’s been off the screen too long.

Lovely Liz exhibits some of the problems of an overly kind granny reading of gossip (usually a welcome change from the venom for venom’s sake). In trying to prove that launching the Tom Cruise Missile into a girl’s career is a force for good not for evil - Liz undermines her own kindly case.

Of course, Tom Cruise could produce his own movie to star his beloved. If you think such loving nepotism doesn’t work, think back to Norma Shearer and hubby Irving Thalberg. Being associated with Mr. Box Office didn’t hurt Penelope Cruz, his short-term girlfriend. She’s up for a Best Actress Oscar. And since her divorce from Tom, Nicole Kidman has come into her own.

Okay she gets points for going all ol’ skool with the Shearer/Thalberg reference, but the rest of the argument falls to bits … only proving that getting free of the TC works wonders. Sort of like time served in purgatory that might eventually get you the Keys to the Kingdom. As for producing a film for Katie … does the idea of Battlefield Earth Returns frighten anyone else down to their cotton socks.

Penelope Cruz’s Volver nomination is generally considered a Hail Mary (or I guess Ave Maria) pass from a Hollywood career with not a single good role. She had to basically rewind back to her pre- Cruise Hollywood days to get back on track. I think working with Almodovar again is clearly the key, not her year of T.ender L.oving C.ruise.

Kidman’s divorce let her wear heels again and start winning Oscars worthy roles et al. Isn’t the real lesson that Katie Holmes is either up Dawson’s Creek without a paddle or married and in flats? Success will follow when she’s paroled or granted a pardon.

I wonder if CAA stands for Cruised Actresses Anonymous - in certain knowing circles?

Pictures added by Celebitchy: Here’s Katie Holmes outside of CAA on 1/26, which Just Jared says stands for Creative Audio Associates, which handles music and sound for TV and film. There’s also a Creative Artists Agency, which is what I figure it stands for. Pictures are from KatieHolmes.com

Britian’s unreliable Sun is reporting that Victoria Beckham has nixed the idea of her family converting to the Scientology cult at Tom Cruise’s urging. They say that her husband, footballer David Beckham, is more impressionable and has been considering it after having some heart-to-heart conversations with the pint-sized actor, but that Victoria isn’t about to waste her money on anything other than fashion:

TOM CRUISE is trying to recruit the Beckhams to the Scientology cult — but Victoria has told him: “Hands off our cash”.

The Hollywood superstar is obsessed with the wacky religion and believes David would benefit from joining.

But Victoria, 32, has ruled it out — partly because members have to make large, regular cash donations. Last week David admitted he spent “hours” on the phone to Tom, 44, before quitting Real Madrid for LA Galaxy.

There’s another report that David Beckham was so distraught over leaving Madrid for LA-based soccer team Galaxy that he needed ice packs to bring down the puffiness of his eyes from constant crying. He is now said to be content with his decision and excited about the move.

Victoria has gushed that she loves the fashion in Hollywood and that she’s excited to hobnob with the stars.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are throwing a big welcome party for the Beckhams this summer. Guests are said to include Steven Spielberg and Jennifer Lopez.

David is still in Madrid playing out his contract with Real Madrid, and will join his family in the states to play for LA Galaxy starting this summer.

Posh and Becks have enrolled their oldest child, Brooklyn, seven, in the Brentwood private day school in Bel-Air, where he will start school in August.

Here are pictures of Victoria and Katie Holmes out to dinner at The Ivy on 1/16. Tom dropped the two off and then left them to pick at their food.

Victoria is still wearing that god-awful Giambattista Valli belt that Chic Mommy made fun of earlier.

Commentors here note that it looks like Katie had some work done on her face. I don’t see it, but it could be the case. Pictures from KatieHolmes.com

The latest issue of In Touch, not the most reliable source I know, claims that “The Honeymoon is Over” for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and that Cruise limits Katie’s time on the phone with friends and has tried to change her interests and hobbies. They say that Katie was chatting with Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom at their second wedding party/stateside Scientology recruiting blitz, and that Tom shut her down when she mentioned an interest in going to the exclusive nightclub Hyde. The article draws a lot of conclusions about Tom and Katie’s home life and implies that Katie is Tom’s shadow of her former self:

Tension was already in the air at Tom and Katie’s LA wedding reception on December 9, where a guest saw Katie talked to Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom about the Hollywood hotspot Hyde.

“Katie was asking what it’s like and saying she’d never been,” the onlooker shares. “Kirsten and Orlando were telling her that a lot of their friends go.” But when Tom walked up and joined the conversation, the tide turned. “Kirsten said they had invited Katie to Hyde, and Tom got a concerned look on his face. He said, ‘Oh, that’s no plance for you or me to go, Kate.’”

When Katie walked off with Tom, 44, “she looked really embarassed,” the witness says. “It was like she’d just gotten into trouble.”

[From In Touch print edition, January 8, 2007]

If this is indeed a true quote, I would guess that the “guest” that overheard it was one of the servers, but who knows if it’s accurate?

The article goes on to say that Tom forces Katie to keep her phone calls with girlfriends short, and has convinced her to give up her favorite hobbies like ceramics, painting and singing Karaoke. The only things that she seems able to do are Tom-approved activities like shopping, attending his children’s sports games with him, and taking up his hobby of learning to fly an airplane. He is also controlling her career and insists on having approval of any new projects she takes on.

They say that Katie seems to be comfort shopping as she routinely drops tens of thousands of dollars on clothing and shoes with no concern for the price.

If all this is true and is more than conjecture on In Touch’s part it wouldn’t be surprising. Cults retain power over new members by limiting their social contacts with outsiders and coercing them into adopting a new identity so they can’t escape back to their old one. It seems like Scientology’s most visiible spokesperson Tom is using those same tactics in his relationship with Katie. I for one am not fooled by their PR wedding and cute baby.

Here are pictures of Katie out shopping on 12/19.