or What Katie Didnt Do …

Lovely Liz Smith at Page Six reports that Katie Holmes suddenly remembers she’s an actress. Maybe they had to take her off the Stepford sedatives while she was recovering from her brash new rhinoplasty … don’t want to mix medications after all. Not when she has some good Thetan breeding years left in her yet.

Agency CAA is developing a new career plan since Katie has not worked during the two years since she fell for Tom. … [Moviefone] describe her connection to Tom Cruise as “a tabloid free-for-all” that didn’t do her any good, creating negative publicity. They say her “likability” rating has dived. And she’s been off the screen too long.

Lovely Liz exhibits some of the problems of an overly kind granny reading of gossip (usually a welcome change from the venom for venom’s sake). In trying to prove that launching the Tom Cruise Missile into a girl’s career is a force for good not for evil - Liz undermines her own kindly case.

Of course, Tom Cruise could produce his own movie to star his beloved. If you think such loving nepotism doesn’t work, think back to Norma Shearer and hubby Irving Thalberg. Being associated with Mr. Box Office didn’t hurt Penelope Cruz, his short-term girlfriend. She’s up for a Best Actress Oscar. And since her divorce from Tom, Nicole Kidman has come into her own.

Okay she gets points for going all ol’ skool with the Shearer/Thalberg reference, but the rest of the argument falls to bits … only proving that getting free of the TC works wonders. Sort of like time served in purgatory that might eventually get you the Keys to the Kingdom. As for producing a film for Katie … does the idea of Battlefield Earth Returns frighten anyone else down to their cotton socks.

Penelope Cruz’s Volver nomination is generally considered a Hail Mary (or I guess Ave Maria) pass from a Hollywood career with not a single good role. She had to basically rewind back to her pre- Cruise Hollywood days to get back on track. I think working with Almodovar again is clearly the key, not her year of T.ender L.oving C.ruise.

Kidman’s divorce let her wear heels again and start winning Oscars worthy roles et al. Isn’t the real lesson that Katie Holmes is either up Dawson’s Creek without a paddle or married and in flats? Success will follow when she’s paroled or granted a pardon.

I wonder if CAA stands for Cruised Actresses Anonymous - in certain knowing circles?

Pictures added by Celebitchy: Here’s Katie Holmes outside of CAA on 1/26, which Just Jared says stands for Creative Audio Associates, which handles music and sound for TV and film. There’s also a Creative Artists Agency, which is what I figure it stands for. Pictures are from KatieHolmes.com

Britian’s unreliable Sun is reporting that Victoria Beckham has nixed the idea of her family converting to the Scientology cult at Tom Cruise’s urging. They say that her husband, footballer David Beckham, is more impressionable and has been considering it after having some heart-to-heart conversations with the pint-sized actor, but that Victoria isn’t about to waste her money on anything other than fashion:

TOM CRUISE is trying to recruit the Beckhams to the Scientology cult — but Victoria has told him: “Hands off our cash”.

The Hollywood superstar is obsessed with the wacky religion and believes David would benefit from joining.

But Victoria, 32, has ruled it out — partly because members have to make large, regular cash donations. Last week David admitted he spent “hours” on the phone to Tom, 44, before quitting Real Madrid for LA Galaxy.

There’s another report that David Beckham was so distraught over leaving Madrid for LA-based soccer team Galaxy that he needed ice packs to bring down the puffiness of his eyes from constant crying. He is now said to be content with his decision and excited about the move.

Victoria has gushed that she loves the fashion in Hollywood and that she’s excited to hobnob with the stars.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are throwing a big welcome party for the Beckhams this summer. Guests are said to include Steven Spielberg and Jennifer Lopez.

David is still in Madrid playing out his contract with Real Madrid, and will join his family in the states to play for LA Galaxy starting this summer.

Posh and Becks have enrolled their oldest child, Brooklyn, seven, in the Brentwood private day school in Bel-Air, where he will start school in August.

Here are pictures of Victoria and Katie Holmes out to dinner at The Ivy on 1/16. Tom dropped the two off and then left them to pick at their food.

Victoria is still wearing that god-awful Giambattista Valli belt that Chic Mommy made fun of earlier.

Commentors here note that it looks like Katie had some work done on her face. I don’t see it, but it could be the case. Pictures from KatieHolmes.com

The latest issue of In Touch, not the most reliable source I know, claims that “The Honeymoon is Over” for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and that Cruise limits Katie’s time on the phone with friends and has tried to change her interests and hobbies. They say that Katie was chatting with Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom at their second wedding party/stateside Scientology recruiting blitz, and that Tom shut her down when she mentioned an interest in going to the exclusive nightclub Hyde. The article draws a lot of conclusions about Tom and Katie’s home life and implies that Katie is Tom’s shadow of her former self:

Tension was already in the air at Tom and Katie’s LA wedding reception on December 9, where a guest saw Katie talked to Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom about the Hollywood hotspot Hyde.

“Katie was asking what it’s like and saying she’d never been,” the onlooker shares. “Kirsten and Orlando were telling her that a lot of their friends go.” But when Tom walked up and joined the conversation, the tide turned. “Kirsten said they had invited Katie to Hyde, and Tom got a concerned look on his face. He said, ‘Oh, that’s no plance for you or me to go, Kate.’”

When Katie walked off with Tom, 44, “she looked really embarassed,” the witness says. “It was like she’d just gotten into trouble.”

[From In Touch print edition, January 8, 2007]

If this is indeed a true quote, I would guess that the “guest” that overheard it was one of the servers, but who knows if it’s accurate?

The article goes on to say that Tom forces Katie to keep her phone calls with girlfriends short, and has convinced her to give up her favorite hobbies like ceramics, painting and singing Karaoke. The only things that she seems able to do are Tom-approved activities like shopping, attending his children’s sports games with him, and taking up his hobby of learning to fly an airplane. He is also controlling her career and insists on having approval of any new projects she takes on.

They say that Katie seems to be comfort shopping as she routinely drops tens of thousands of dollars on clothing and shoes with no concern for the price.

If all this is true and is more than conjecture on In Touch’s part it wouldn’t be surprising. Cults retain power over new members by limiting their social contacts with outsiders and coercing them into adopting a new identity so they can’t escape back to their old one. It seems like Scientology’s most visiible spokesperson Tom is using those same tactics in his relationship with Katie. I for one am not fooled by their PR wedding and cute baby.

Here are pictures of Katie out shopping on 12/19.

Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have been voted the Worst Celebrity Role Models of 2006 in a joint poll between Associated Press and AOL.

Brit got a heaping 29% of the vote for the “Worst” role model, while Paris received 18% and the anti-Semitic ranting Mel Gibson got 17%. Way to go Brit! Your commando pics and party hopping have really paid off!

Other names on the “Worst Role Model” list include: Tom Cruise, Michael Richards, K-Fed, Nicole Ritchie, Lindsay Lohan and Angelina Jolie.

I know I’m white trash but I disagree that Angelina should be on this list. The woman gives zillions to the poor and adopts orphans. Sure, she broke up Brad and Jen’s marriage but why lump her with tramps girls like Brit and Paris?

The NY Times’ Caryn James has a thought-provoking article that’s rather relevant to the realm of celebrity gossip blogs. She looks back on the year of celebrity gawking, and says that negative publicity affects the stars’ careers, but that the verdict is out as to how much.

2006 brought celebrity watching to new depths of detail. We saw Britney’s c-section scar, learned about Angelina Jolie’s method of birth control, and speculated about Tom Cruise’s sexuality while fawning over pictures of his supposed baby. We vascillate between mocking celebrities for the human foibles and admiring them for being skinnier than us with better accessories.

While old Hollywood presented screen stars as brands and shielded them from bad press, modern Hollywood throws them to the wolves and paparazzi. It’s not as damning as it once was to get a DUI, to go to rehab, or to be perceived as a husband-stealer, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect public perception. We say our most admired stars are the ones with home lives that are beyond reproach:

This emphasis on off-screen fame almost brings celebrity full circle, back to the era when actors were brands; their larger-than-life personalities were as flimsy as cardboard and constructed for the public, but so huge that “Cary Grant” was bigger than any Cary Grant movie. The crucial difference, of course, is that the fierce control studios maintained over actors’ images — covering up arrests, arranging bogus dates — has given way to a media culture in which virtually nothing remains hidden, from Mr. Gibson’s arrest report to Britney Spears’s no-underpants crotch. As an old-fashioned emphasis on personality collides with today’s ever-changing onslaught of truth, gossip and damage control, the result is a moviegoing public that paradoxically idolizes and mocks its stars.

What this cult of personality means for movies is still in flux, as stars, publicists and filmgoers adjust to a new tug-of-war over image-making, but the conflict certainly intensified this year.

Stars searched for ways to fight back, not very effectively. Some were mischievous: George Clooney suggested thwarting the celebrity-sightings section of the Gawker Web site by flooding it with fake reports. (There are already so many ludicrous reports, who could tell the difference?)

Others took the battle (nearly) to court. Reese Witherspoon sued Star magazine for falsely stating she was pregnant and in return got its version of a retraction: another photo of her in a bikini and the explanation “She’s not pregnant — it’s bloat!” At least we know she’s not pregnant. (She has reportedly settled the suit.)

And Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’s Vanity Fair photo spread introducing their baby daughter, Suri (shot by the also-famous Annie Leibovitz), followed by their hugely hyped, celebrity-jammed wedding in Italy — what was that about if not image shaping? They allowed only their own photographers at the wedding, which made the hype more orchestrated, not less real. Their control added a veneer of desiring privacy, a sham the public didn’t buy…

There was more dismal news for image-shaping celebs recently, from the annual Gallup Poll measuring movie stars’ appeal. Asked which star’s films they would make a special effort to see, the respondents gave Tom Hanks the top spot, no surprise. He has always been an actor in the old-fashioned mold, sticking close to good-guy roles that mirror his clean-cut image.

Asked whose films they would avoid, those polled gave it to Mr. Cruise in a landslide, 34 percent. Coming in a distant second was Ms. Jolie at 18 percent. Being perceived as a wacko or as a home wrecker are obviously not the best P.R. choices.

It’s unclear how much the human failings of celebrities affect the box office. When people say that they’ll avoid Tom Cruise and Angelina Jolie’s movies, all these details about their lives do seem to hurt their careers, but at least they’re staying in the public eye.

The posts about Angelina always have heated discussions, and some people dislike her so much that they use different nicknames to say the same thing over and over again as if several people have the same point about her. Rationally-minded commentors note that she’s considered the poster girl for husband-stealers and is an easy target for scorned women. While some may hate her, she attracts so much constant attention that the impact on the box office may be slight.

I hope that Britney’s career is going to suffer for all her partying and poon-baring, though. She’s a clear cut case of a celebrity who has made her bed and hasn’t changed the sheets in a long time.

Tom and Katie are having yet another wedding celebration this Saturday at the Beverly Hills mansion of his business partner Paula Wagner. It’s meant to be a big affair for friends and family who couldn’t travel all the way to Rome to get the Scientology pitch. Noticeably absent from the guest list is Oprah, who certainly pissed off Tommy for commenting that she didn’t “buy” his couch-jumping antics proclaiming his love for the little actress on her show.

Oprah was all “I don’t get invited to everyone’s wedding” when she was asked about being snubbed from the Rome wedding. I wonder what she’s going to say about this, which kind of brings the snub home:

TomKat didn’t invite the talk queen to their wedding in Italy. Now Winfrey’s rep confirms that she hasn’t been asked to the post-honeymoon bash thrown by Paula Wagner, Cruise’s UA producing partner, and Cruise’s agent, Rick Nicita. (Some believe that Viacom chief Sumner Redstone started thinking about cutting Cruise loose after seeing his infamous couch-jumping antics on Oprah’s talk show.)

Look for lots more pictures of smiling brainwashed faces in your favorite glossies next week. TomKat must not have received enough coverage for their last wedding, and is planning another just as the news dies down.

After his second wedding party, Cruise will start work on a new war film called Lions for Lambs with Meryl Streep and Robert Redford.

Here are pictures of Katie bringing Suri to meet Victoria Beckham during her stay in LA. Beckham is said to be looking for real estate in the Cruise’s neighborhood. Pictures from KatieHolmes.com

Get a load of that freaky picture of Tom sitting on a throne with Connor and his best man, the head of Scientology’s David Miscavige, beside him. Word is that Miscavige accompanied Tom and Katie on their honeymoon on that tug boat yacht in the Maldives. He must have been along to advise them of the best ways to start a marriage according to the random drug-fueled teachings of L Ron.

Janet Charlton reports that newly-tub Tom Cruise needed a he-girdle to keep his tummy sucked in during his wedding to Katie Holmes. I don’t know if I believe this because it seems like something that could be easily made up, but it also sounds entirely plausible considering that he’s gained some weight recently.

Here’s a juicy little secret that Tom Cruise might kill us for telling you. Oh well, here we go- Tom was wearing a GIRDLE under his tuxedo at his wedding! In case you haven’t noticed, Tom packed on around twenty pounds in the past few months before the big event. He says he’s a “nervous eater.” And he’s had a lot to be nervous about - his exit from Paramount and his high octane marriage. When Tom arrived in Rome, we hear that Giorgio Armani was apoplectic because the wedding tux was too small. Armani personally tended to all the fittings while Tom’s pants were let out and various details were adjusted. Tom wanted to look svelte so he didn’t protest when Giorgio suggested girdling Tom’s midsection so the jacket would fall properly. The corset was sewn into Tom’s undergarment. Everyone was sworn to secrecy, but those Armani employees love to gossip, and are we grateful for THAT!

Tom saying that he’s a “nervous eater” makes him seem rather feminine, and coupled with that this girdle tale is priceless.

He also probably wore some kind of lifts to his wedding since he appeared to be the same height as Katie, making the girdle story seem more likely.

Tom and Katie are now on their honeymoon in the Maldives on a friend’s yacht, and have brought little Suri and the head of Scientology along.

Pictures from KatieHolmes.com

Back in early August we reported a rumor from the PopBitch e-mail newsletter that elusive baby Suri had yet to be seen because she had a large birthmark. The eagle-eyed Celebrity Baby Blog has confirmed that rumor by pointing out that Suri has a birthmark on her forehead that’s visible in the latest candids of her out with her parents in Rome. When compared to the pictures of Suri in Vanity Fair, which were said to be airbrushed because she was a “runt,” it’s clear that the pictures were Photoshopped to remove the mark.

We’ve been very excited to see the new photos of Suri Cruise, 7 months old, taken this week leading up to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ wedding. These first candid photos of their baby are exciting for several reasons. The first is that we’ve been deprived of photos of her since her Vanity Fair debut, the second is that we’ve been deprived of candid photos of her up to this point, but thirdly because the photos reveal what may be the true reason Suri has been kept out of the public eye.

We’d like to call your attention to what appears to be a slight but distinctive birthmark located in the middle of her forehead between her eyes visible in several photos that was not visible in the Vanity Fair photos. It was rumored that there was a lot of airbrushing involved in her Vanity Fair shoot and this is what was probably airbrushed. In these new candid shots of her, her thick black hair is combed forward, most likely in an attempt to conceal the mark. Of course, it is also possible Suri fell and bruised her face.

We don’t know what type of birthmark this is, but it’s likely they have tried to have it removed or reduced because the color is very subtle.

There you go, although I still think the Scientologists, who are keen to comment on this blog as well as influence online polls, kept Suri out of the public eye according to the random, drug-fueled teachings of their leader L Ron.

No matter this minor birthmark, Suri sure is cute.

Here are pictures of Tom, Katie and Suri heading to their rehearsal dinner on 11/16. [via]

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were married yesterday in a non-binding Scientology ceremony that took place in a romantic Italian castle in front of over 150 guests. Cruise and Holmes walked down a stone ramp that was flanked with medieval-costumed flag-bearers. Drums beat in the background, and the castle was decorated with torches, candles, and masses of white flowers.

The couples’ first kiss was so long that guests yelled for them to stop:

Officially, they got married in Los Angeles, but the spectacle of the wedding between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes was here, in a 15th-century castle that evoked fairy tales and lit up with red, white and green fireworks for a cheering, celebrity-laden crowd.

There were fireworks inside, too, a “never-ending kiss” between the betrothed after they exchanged vows Saturday. The kiss lasted so long it caused guests to shout “stop, stop!” said Giorgio Armani, who attended the wedding and designed the outfits of the bride, the groom and their baby, Suri.

The couple flew out of Rome Sunday for a honeymoon in the Maldives, said Ciampino airport spokesman Adriano Franceschetti. The rest of the wedding party was due to fly to Los Angeles later in the day…

The evening wedding was performed by a Scientology minister in front of more than 150 relatives and friends, the couple’s publicists said.

Oil-fed torches and tiny candles flickered from the battlements and windows of the Odescalchi castle in this lakeside town as the couple and guests gathered for the ceremony in the town about 45 kilometers (27 miles) northwest of Rome. Suri, dressed in white, arrived in her mother’s arms.

The wedding party included Cruise’s two children, Isabella and Connor, from the superstar actor’s previous marriage to Nicole Kidman, the publicists said in a statement. The best man was Cruise’s best friend David Miscavige and the matron of honor was Holmes’ sister Nancy Blaylock.

Holmes wore a black dress and boots before she changed into Armani’s off-the-shoulder ivory silk gown. Her father, Martin Holmes, walked her down the aisle and she carried a bouquet of flowers made by Armani including calla lilies.

Cruise, who sported dark shades and waved to fans as he rode through the castle gates in a van, wore a single breasted navy blue Armani handmade suit for the wedding, with an ivory silk French collar shirt of the same fabric as the bride’s gown.

Armani told The Associated Press that Cruise, then Holmes, walked down a stone ramp lined with flag bearers in medieval costumes and to the roll of drums.

They exchanged vows in a former stable decorated simply with white flowers.

They are now enjoying some alone time (that will undoubtedly be marred by paparazzi) in the tropical island nation of Maldives in the Indian Ocean.

Thanks to KatieHolmes.com for these wedding pictures.