Last week, the trailer for The Dark Knight Rises “leaked” but I never got a chance to see it before it was pulled. So, I have no idea if what leaked was this official, Christopher Nolan-sanctioned teaser trailer which just dropped. It’s only a minute and a half, and most of the imagery in here is from the first two Batmans, with new footage of Gary Oldman’s character laying in a hospital bed, speaking to (presumably) Bruce Wayne, not in his Batman costume (spoiler?). We also get a split-second glimpse of Tom Hardy as Bane. Hardy looks… GIANT. Here’s a question? Why is Batman doing hand-to-hand combat with Bane?

So, let’s see: we still don’t have any idea what Anne Hathaway’s Selina Kyle/Catwoman costume looks like, and I still don’t have a clear idea exactly what Marion Cotillard is doing in this film. This is a consistent problem with Nolan’s films – I think he’s a wonderfully talented director, but he has a tin ear when it comes to female characters and casting the right actress for the part. Katie Holmes? Maggie Gyllenhaal? Hilary Swank (in Insomnia)? Nolan only cares about dong. And giving the dongs good storylines.

Last: Poor Gary Oldman! I didn’t realize his character was going to be at death’s door in this film. It makes me wonder what they’re going to do with Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman’s characters. Everybody’s gonna die, methinks.

Photos courtesy of WENN, plus promotional images.

I’m probably dating myself, but some of my earliest childhood memories revolve around the Cold War. I have vivid memories of Ronald Reagan’s speeches, of “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” I remember “Perestroika”. I remember Reagan and Gorbachev’s infamous “walk in the woods” and of course, I remember when The Wall came down. Some days, I actually miss the Cold War, and I still get nostalgic for Cold War-ish things. Like when I catch an old James Bond movie, or when I’m watching a PBS documentary.

So imagine my delight when I heard there was a remake of John le Carré’s Cold War opus, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. The book had already been adapted for film, back when it was “breaking news” in the actual Cold War. And now it’s been remade anew, with a completely spectacular cast – Tom Hardy, Colin Firth, Mark Strong, Gary Oldman, Benedict, Ciaran Hinds and Benedict Cumberbatch, just to name a few. The basic story – well, there’s nothing basic about it. It’s all spy stuff, double and triple bluffs, heavy on the 1970s Cold War atmosphere. But it’s about the hunt for a Soviet spy in the highest level of British intelligence. And the trailer/teaser for the film just came out, and I LOVE IT. I want to get this trailer pregnant. It’s totally Cold War Porn.

Photos courtesy of WENN & PCN.

OH NO. This is what happens when you are attracted to someone you really shouldn’t even bother. This is what happens when you give some dude the benefit of the doubt, over and over and over again, until you realize that he’s A) Actually not that hot, and B) Actually kind of gross. This realization just hit me as I glanced at these new photos of Tom Hardy, promoting his new film Warrior in Paris. This is how Tom used to look, when he was hot:

What’s the difference? Is it just hair?!? Hair and weight? Tom has always been built – not in a “I hang out in the gym five days a week” built, but built like he got his muscles doing hard labor. He’s bulked up to play Bane in The Dark Knight Rises, and I’m assuming that’s why his head is shaved too. But dear God, I had no idea he would look so… so… VIN DIESEL like this. The only thing keeping Tom Hardy from looking like Shrek is hair?!? Ugh. Disappointing and gross. And don’t even get me started on how gross his lips look when he’s shorn and shiny. Blech.

Sidenote: I now totally believe Tom Hardy boned Lindsay Lohan. Only someone like Lindsay can completely suck the hotness out of someone.

The other dude in the photos is Joel Edgerton, Tom’s costar in Warrior. Here’s the trailer for Warrior. Seriously, Tom Hardy always needs hair. It makes all the difference in the world.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Oh, CRAP. Tom Hardy has split from his fiancée Charlotte Riley. Tom and Charlotte had been together for about two years, I think, and they got engaged last July. And now it’s over, allegedly (but I think it’s true). Tom didn’t attend the BAFTAs, even though he won the “BAFTA Rising Star” award, and his absence was felt. Now it looks like he skipped the BAFTAs because of this personal drama.

Tom Hardy has reportedly split from his actress fiancee Charlotte Riley, seven months after they got engaged.

The couple – who got engaged last July after dating for one year – reportedly broke up last month although the ‘Inception’ actor is said to be desperate to rekindle their relationship. A source told the Metro newspaper: “Tom and Charlotte broke up last month. He has been calling her a lot to try to patch things up.”

Tom, 33, and 28-year-old Charlotte first met on the set of the TV adaptation of ‘Wuthering Heights’ when they were cast as star-crossed lovers before going on to work together again in television drama ‘The Take’.

Speculation about the couple’s relationship has been mounting after Tom failed to make an appearance at Sunday’s (13.02.11) BAFTAs where he won the Orange Wednesdays Rising Star Award.

He is said to have sent an apology blaming “personal commitments” for his absence.

The actor – who has signed to star as a villain in Christopher Nolan’s latest Batman film ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ was previously married to Sarah Ward from 1999 to 2004.

He has a two-year-old son Louis Thomas Hardy with ex-girlfriend Rachael Speed.

Tom – who battled alcoholism and a crack cocaine addiction in his early-to mid-twenties – revealed last year he had relationships with men when he was younger.

He said: “I’m an actor for f**k’s sake. I’ve played with everything and everyone. I love the form and the physicality, but now that I’m in my thirties, it doesn’t do it for me. I’m done experimenting.”

[From Contact Music]

You know what my first thought was? Lindsay Lohan. She had been using Tom’s name in the various reports, claiming that he was her “sober mentor” and even reportedly telling friends that Tom came to see her in rehab, and that they were boning. So… was Lindsay involved in the split? Did her Typhoid Mary-esque crack vadge destroy Tom’s engagement. Tell me something ladies: if your fiancé was hanging around Lindsay Lohan, even for allegedly sober-coaching purposes, would you be cool with it? I wouldn’t. That crack vadge is radioactive.

Also: I’m really starting to think that Tom Hardy isn’t the Man-God everyone thinks he might be. There seems to be a really sleazy streak in him. Just a thought.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

These are some new photos of Lindsay Lohan out and about in Venice Beach yesterday. She was, in the words of Fame Pictures, “nervously voyaging out into the world to explore her new neighborhood.” Either that, or she was just high and couldn’t remember where she was. Either/or. Anyway, remember all of the rumors about Lindsay and Tom Hardy? Lindsay pushed a story to TMZ about how she and Tom had dinner together and he was her “Sober Mentor” and friend. Tom’s rep later denied the bit about Tom being her Sober Mentor, but the important part of the story was still out there – Lindsay Lohan is “friends” with Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy cares enough about Lindsay to get his rep to deny one of her cracked-out delusions. Tom Hardy pays attention to her!

Anyway, I kind of hoped the story was over, but then Lindsay mysteriously tweeted this on Tuesday:

[From Lindsay’s Twitter feed]

Odd, right? Considering that the story seemed pretty dead? That’s what I thought too, until I got a look at Star Magazine’s Blohan story this week. I think someone at Star might have actually gotten in touch with Lindsay earlier this week to confirm or deny this report, so instead of giving a denial to Star, Lindsay just preemptively tweeted that junk. Which makes me think that Star might have gotten this one right. Which sucks. According to Star, Tom Hardy isn’t Lindsay’s sober coach… he’s her lover. GROSS.

Since being released from the Betty Ford Clinic Center on January 3, Lindsay Lohan has kept an uncharacteristically low profile, and it’s not just due to her commitment to staying sober. She’s been talling friends she’s sneaking around with a soon-to-be married man – Inception star Tom Hardy.

“She’s telling friends she’s definitely hooking up with him,” a friend tells In Touch about Lindsay and Tom – who has been engaged to his British actess girlfriend since last July.

“They first met through friends when she was in rehab,” a source close to Lindsay says. They bonded over their shared sobriety, and Tom even visited her at the Sober Living House several times. “She said that over time, the relationship got physical” – a big no-no for a recovering addict like Lindsay, who is advised not to date for at least a year while in recovery. Though Tom left for London in mid-January, “They talk constantly.”

Although a rep for Tom denies he’s hooked up with Lindsay, the actress insists that they’ve been together, the source says. But others believe Tom was just a friend and Lindsay wanted to make her ex Samantha Ronson jealous.

“They got into a huge fight over him,” says the source. However, adds the source, Sam is not jealous, but she doesn’t approve of Lindsay’s relationship with Tom because she thinks it’s “inappropriate” considering he’s engaged.

While Lindsay is telling friends that the actor has ended the engagement, an insider close to Charlotte tells In Touch that is not the case.

“Charlotte isn’t happy about her fiancé’s new LA friend,” says the insider.

Whether or not Tom is interested in Lindsay, “She’s head over heels for Tom,” says the source, although she publicly denies that she and Tom are anything more than friends. “Her family approves of him – he’s sober, and he seems to be a good influence.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

Of course she wanted to make Samantha jealous. Of course. But there was something else at play, and it’s Lindsay’s old crack drama: attaching herself to something cooler and hoping that it sticks. Whether or not Lindsay and Tom actually had an affair, I do think that Lindsay was probably bragging to her friends that they did. And one of those friends sold the story to Star – because Lindsay surrounds herself with losers.

Now, did Tom and Lindsay actually have an affair? I want to think he’s better than that but… he does seem like he’s got a pretty complicated sexual past, present and future. Some guys are just like that – their weakness is any vadge, even a crackhead liar’s. So I don’t know if they hit it. I hope not, but it could be.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN.

Thank God. Really. Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan called up TMZ and told them that she had dinner with Tom Hardy, and that the actor was now pretty much her sober mentor. It was just another in a strong of Lohan-friendly reports that TMZ had reported, and although Blohan wasn’t quoted directly, it totally came from her. She wants us to think that she’s still A-list, that she and Samantha Ronson are fine and that she (Lindsay) is not a cracked-out stalker. She wants us to think that she regularly has dinner with cusp-of-A-listers, and that they like her crack hustle so much, they want to be associated with it.

Well, Tom Hardy’s rep is shutting it down. Thank God.

Lindsay Lohan has been out of rehab for less than a week, and so far the troubled actress has managed to stay out of trouble. TMZ.com reports one reason may be “Inception” star Tom Hardy. They say Hardy, who sources tell FOX411 has been sober since 2003, met Lohan through mutual friends, and that he is acting as her “sober mentor.”

However, a rep for Hardy tells FOX411.com that the report is inaccurate, and that Hardy is not her “sober mentor.”

Regardless of whether Hardy is one or not, what exactly does a “sober mentor” do?

“A sober mentor helps recovering addicts get integrated into a sober lifestyle,” Rick Parrish, president of Sober Escorts Incorporated, tells FOX411.com. “For someone who is early in recovery, they may find that they have too much time on their hands. A sober mentor can help them get back in to hiking, biking, and swimming—doing things that release natural endorphins and showing them that being sober doesn’t have to be boring.”

[From Fox News 411]

Interesting. Or not. Is it surprising that Tom Hardy doesn’t want anything to do with Blohan? Not really. I think most people are avoiding her like a cracked-out plague.

By the way, these photos of Lindsay are from yesterday – she’s averaging paparazzi-friendly jaunts every other day, and her street-fashion in all of them has been pretty fug. But she also wants us to see her Birkin. Okay… I’m officially “over” Birkins. Only crackheads and famewhores are using them at this point.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are likely already back together, or will be back together shortly, because they were spotted having dinner together over the weekend. The Plan worked. And now it’s time to do a repeat – once Sam and Lindsay have any kind of stability in their relationship, Lindsay starts trying to have sex with men. And I have an idea for a great candidate: Lindsay’s new (alleged) “sober coach”. That dude would be everybody’s favorite heartthrob Tom Hardy. If Hardy gets within six feet of Lindsay, I might have to start hating him.

Someone is trying to plant an idea in Lindsay Lohan’s head — about how to stay sober — and who better to do that than one of the stars of “Inception,” Tom Hardy.

TMZ has learned LiLo has struck a friendship with Hardy recently after the pair were introduced by mutual friends. We’re told they even met for dinner one night last week.

Sources tell us Tom is giving Lindsay advice on how to stay sober and Lindsay is seriously listening to him. Hardy famously battled addiction early on in his career and has been sober since 2003.

No word on if a totem is involved.

[From TMZ]

I’m honestly not sure if Tom is sober. I know he’s talked about how he used to do drugs and drink a lot (and sleep with men), but was it something he just grew out of or is in some kind of program? Unknown. What is known is that Lindsay is going to try to jump on The Hardy Dong as soon as possible. Ugh, TOM! Oh, and before everyone starts yelling about how he has a girlfriend or fiancée… yeah. That’s never stopped Lindsay before, and I tend to think Tom is a bit of a man-whore.

Last thing – look at these photos of Lindsay last night at the Lakers game. She’s already back to tweaking before she goes out for the night. Sobriety my ass.

Photos courtesy of Bauer-Griffin.

I was going to save these photos for the next Hot Guy Friday (I’m think Hot Guy Thanksgiving, Dongs We Are Thankful For), but this In Touch Weekly story was too good to pass up. Probably because Tom Hardy is now big enough that he’s getting some tabloid stories! WOOHOO! Yay! Of course, the story is just some BS piece about how his fiancée is jealous of his professional relationship with Reese Witherspoon, his costar on This Means War. It’s not that I don’t think Tom would screw around on his fiancee – I do. After all, this is a man who spoke openly about “playing” with “everybody and everything”. I just don’t think Reese is up for it – although that would be very interesting if she was:

Reese Witherspoon is one of Hollywood’s biggest stars, so it’s no surprise that she often ends up acting alongside some of the industry’s hottest leading men. Bit it turns out that a British actress named Charlotte Riley isn’t exactly a fan.

A source on the set of Reese’s next film, a rom-com called This Means War, tells In Touch that Charlotte flew to the Vancouver set it seems she wants to make sure her fiancé Tom Hardy behaves himself.

“There are so many scenes with Reese and Tom flirting, kissing and getting physical,” the source reports. “The buzz on set is that Charlotte came up to keep an eye on her man.”

Charlotte, 28, may have cause for concern – the on-screen lovers’ friendship is blossoming off-camera as well.

“Reese and Tom spend hours together every day,” the source said.

Of course, Reese is still very much involved with her boyfriend, agent Jim Toth. But that doesn’t keep her costars’ girlfriends from seeing green: Kristen Stewart was jealous of Reese as well when Reese and Robert Pattinson worked together on Water for Elephants.

“Reese has that effect,” the source explained. “Guys just fall in love with her!”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

Yeah, I really think Reese is happy with Jim Toth, but I also don’t think she’s this saint who would never do anything less than perfect. I kind of believed the rumors about Reese and Joaquin back when they filmed Walk the Line – and that was when Reese and Ryan Phillippe were still married (although Ryan was apparently screwing around on Reese for a while too). So would Reese be above a quickie with British hottie Tom Hardy? God, I hope not.

These are some new photos of babe Tom Hardy in Canada yesterday. Damn, he looks good enough to eat, right? I like his hair right now. I also like the hint of his awesome body through his baggy clothes. I like his lips. F-ck, I like everything about him.

Anyway, Tom Hardy is in serious demand these days. He’s the new Sam Worthington! Hopefully not – hopefully he’s even better than Worthington. Tom is lucky enough to have the eye of Christopher Nolan, and Tom is pretty much guaranteed a part in the third Nolan Batman film. The question is, who is Hardy playing? What character? No one knows. I was looking through some comic-book sites, and from what I could see, Hardy might be playing anyone from The Riddler to Clayface to Deadshot… and there are like five other possibilities. You’ve got to hand it to Nolan, he knows how to keep his sh-t tight.

Also – remember Total Recall? With Arnold Schwarzenegger? I do. I’ve seen it so many times, and it actually is a cool kind of sci-fi action film, especially with the Kuato special effects (the little guy who came out of a man’s belly). Anyway, Hollywood is remaking that sh-t, because they’ve run out of ideas and because they’re boring. And Tom Hardy is one of the actors being considered, along with Colin Farrell and Michael Fassbender (both of whom make this week’s HGF). So… something to look forward to?

Photos courtesy of Bauer-Griffin.

Damn it! Charlotte Riley is the new Jennifer Westfeldt. We must destroy her for the good of hot dudes everywhere. Riley’s rep has announced that she’s engaged to bisexual heartthrob Tom Hardy. Hardy’s rep, meanwhile, is all “Who?” No, he just didn’t confirm it, but I think it’s probably on! Hardy has memorably stoked our homoerotic fantasies by discussing in detail how he’s played with everyone and everything, and how he spent years getting high and f-cking everything with two legs and a tight ass. Hardy always emphasized that all of that was in the past, and I think he and this Charlotte chick (she’s an actress) have been dating for a couple of years.

It’s not a dream: Inception star Tom Hardy is engaged to his girlfriend British actress Charlotte Riley.

The pair met on the set of a British TV adaptation of Wuthering Heights last year (he played Heathcliff to her Cathy) and are hoping to wed next year. They are already planning the event, PEOPLE has confirmed.

The Mail on Sunday claims that she may even take a bigger-than-usual role in the celebrations. Not only will the 28-year-old walk down the aisle, but she also wants to help provide the entertainment. Riley sometimes sings in a band that she hopes will perform for guests.

A rep for Riley confirmed they were engaged this summer. A rep for Hardy, 32, had no comment.

[From People]

So is Hardy a one-woman kind of man? We’ll find out. In my opinion, he’s probably a Sean Bean type (I just accidentally typed “tight” which shows you where my mind is). Tom will probably end up marrying five times and all of his ex-wives will claim that the only thing going for him was his awesomeness in bed. So don’t pack up your panties yet! I mean, good luck to Charlotte and everything (something tells me she’ll need it), but I’m guessing this one is not for keeps. Oh, and he’s already been married once before…? And he already has a kid too, I think. So… yeah. Good luck, Charlotte. Lucky bitch.

Header: Hardy & Riley on July 13, 2010. Credit: WENN.