Tracy Morgan sure isn’t doing himself any favors lately. The “30 Rock” star has had two DUIs since 2005. His wife of 22 years recently filed for divorce, citing Tracy’s alcoholism. Despite several public claims that he’s completely stopped drinking, Morgan appeared on the “Late Show” on Thursday, and he seemed to have partaken of some substance or other. Letterman started off the interview by asking about Morgan’s recent DUI and how that all went. Tracy cracked a few jokes, and then told a story of having a sake bomb at Benihana’s recently. And just to clarify – though I probably don’t need to – a sake bomb consists of one shot sake rice wine and one glass of beer, which the drinker drinks as quickly as possible. After mentioning this, Dave asks Morgan, “So you’re abstaining, completely?” to which he replies “Huh?” Then there’s a pause and he goes on to talk about how he’s quit drinking completely, at the request of his eldest son.

Later in the interview, Dave asks Jordan how he’s been keeping himself busy during the Writer’s Guild strike. His response was golden.

“I’m just doin’ karate and getting females pregnant…at the same time.”

[From the Late Show]

Culture Bully gives a rundown of the interview’s other highlights.

In between DL asking Tracy about his ankle bracelet and his sobriety Tracy dropped comedy gold on the nation. It’s moments like these that make me wonder if I should start watching TV again.

“It’s in the Smithsonian next to Michael Jackson’s glove, and his nose.” [about his SCRAM bracelet]

“Now if I go near alcohol I turn into a Gremelin.”

“Tie Tony up the night before the game and make his legs like spaghetti.”

“I call him by his government, Phillip.”

“I found the edge a while ago and jumped off, I’m crazier than a box of rocks.”

[From Culture Bully]

Tracy Morgan strikes me as one of those people that should really be kept busy. Free time could be exceptionally dangerous for him. The Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers should seriously consider negotiating better with the Writers’ Guild to end the strike, if for no other reason than making sure Tracy Morgan goes back to work as soon as possible. Before he really does get females pregnant.

Picture note by Jaybird: Tracy Morgan leaving Letterman’s show. Images thanks to

“30 Rock’s” Tracy Morgan’s wife Sabina has filed for divorce after 22 years of marriage, citing his long-term alcohol abuse. Morgan got a DUI in Hollywood in 2005 and a DWI in Manhattan in 2006. As a result he had to wear a Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitoring (SCRAM) bracelet around his ankle for six months, though he did get to take it off early due to some medical issues he was having with it. The couple separated last year, and Morgan confirmed to TV Guide that the couple was proceeding with a divorce. Though he stated that he was going through with it and that the pair were still good friends, according to Sabina, that’s not the whole story.

Comedian Tracey Morgan’s [sic] wife is filing for divorce, claiming the 30 Rock star has lost his battle with alcoholism. The 39-year-old star recently claimed he had been sober for months, spurred on by his three sons’ pleas for him to stay off alcohol. But Sabina, his wife of 22 years, claims he is back on the booze. She says, “I have to divorce him. I still have feelings for him, but the marriage is over. I’m having my lawyer file the divorce papers. I gave him every opportunity since August to stay in the marriage, but he’s failed. “It’s terrible that he’s drinking again. He knows he shouldn’t be doing that for so many reasons, his health especially.”

[From Contact Music]

I would assume that when Sabina cites Tracey’s health, she’s referring not just to the general detrimental health effects of alcoholism, but also to the fact that Morgan is diabetic. Most diabetics can drink a little, depending on their individual cases, but the heavy drinking associated with alcoholism would obviously be a pretty big problem. Tracy did a pretty good job of making everything sound all sweetness and light in his TV Guide interview, and didn’t really acknowledge his alcoholism.

TV Guide: Were you embarrassed about being arrested for drunk driving?
Morgan: Yeah. I never wanted to be a poster boy for that type of behavior. Drinking and driving is not a cool thing.

TV Guide: You were sentenced to wear an alcohol-monitoring bracelet for six months. What was that like?
Morgan: I was like the Man in the Iron Mask! It had hair all over it from my leg when I took it off.

TV Guide: What was the most annoying thing about it?
Morgan: Sores. It’s metal up against raw skin. Also, I’m diabetic. If I get a little scratch, it’s hard for it to heal.

TV Guide: How liberating was it to get it off?
Morgan: Well, it felt great not to be monitored. I’m a grown man. But it also felt weird. Because I had to live without alcohol for six months. So now it’s like, I can drink if I want. But do I want to? No. So I know it did good.

[From the Seattle P.I.]

Well clearly he didn’t do that “good,” as his drinking seems to still have been problematic enough to end his marriage. Tracy is really good on “30 Rock” – his character, Tracy Jordan, seems to be a mix of himself and vintage Eddie Murphy. Hopefully he’ll get his act together and not give “30 Rock” too much more real-life material to draw from.

Picture note by Jaybird: Header of Tracy Morgan leaving the Letterman Show on Tuesday. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

I wish I were a celebrity. If I were, I could drive around drunk and get in a little trouble the first time, but not so much the second time. I could be told I have to wear an alcohol monitoring device around my ankle, but I could take it off early because I didn’t like it. And I could afford fancy lawyers and doctors to say it was medically necessary to take it off… because being annoyed is a medical problem. To be fair, Tracy Morgan is kind of a minor celebrity, but he’s big enough to be able to afford to ignore judges and cops and laws and such. After he got 2 DUIs within about six month of each other – one in Los Angeles and one in New York City – Morgan was forced to go to rehab, do community service, and attend AA meetings. Pretty standard issue. He also had to wear a SCRAM anklet – you know, that alcohol monitoring device that Lindsay Lohan voluntarily sported six months ago to show the world how sober she was… before she went to rehab a few more times. Well apparently the SCRAM bracelet didn’t agree with Tracy Morgan, and he decided to go ahead and take it off early. That got him in a bit of hot water with the judge, who was going to make him keep it on even longer after he admitted to drinking alcohol over the summer – until Morgan produced photographic evidence along with doctors’ reports saying that it was medically necessary for him to take it off – and the judge agreed!

Tracy Morgan has made peace with his prosecutors. A Los Angeles judge ruled Tuesday that the 30 Rock funnyman has completed the terms of his DUI-related probation and will not be punished for taking off his alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet a wee bit early, the L.A. City Attorney’s Office confirmed to E! Online.

Morgan, who on Sept. 18 was ordered to keep his Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitoring device on for another 80 days after he copped to imbibing booze over the summer, claimed in court last week that he took the accessory off early due to “medical issues.”

After reviewing several letters from doctors and one from the company that manufactures SCRAM bracelets, as well as a handful of photos depicting the nature of the undisclosed medical condition, the judge concluded that Morgan had a valid reason to untether himself before the court-ordered end date.

According to Morgan’s attorney, Blair Berk, Morgan has voluntarily been taking daily breath or blood tests to prove that he’s staying on the wagon. No further court appearances on his case are scheduled, said City Attorney’s Office spokesman Frank Mateljan.

[From E! News]

Boy I would really like to know what “medical issue” arose from this bracelet that was so terrible a judge let Morgan take it off. Last time I checked, the bracelet wasn’t made out of rabid pack of angry bees that sting you at random to check the level of alcohol in your blood. Because I know SCRAM considered this bumble-based technology and quickly ditched it. So if the problem is anything less than bees, I really can’t figure out how it could possibly be so bad that a judge agreed to let the guy take it off. Unless the judge was actually paid off by the bee industry. Wait, that would make no sense. But so does taking a bracelet off for “medical reasons.” So I’m pretty sure it must be bee related after all.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Tracy Morgan at the 2007 VH1 Hip Hop Honors on October 4th. Image thanks to PR Photos.