So the trailer is out for Jennifer Aniston’s new movie, We’re the Millers. I guess this is supposed to be dirty? This is supposed to be like a gross-out R-rated Judd Apatow-type of comedy? Eh. Are we sure that Jason Sudeikis is interesting enough to be a comedic leading man? Because I’m not sure. I will accept Sudeikis as a supporting character, of course. But I just don’t know if he’s pulling this off. As for Jennifer… she’s playing a 40-something stripper with wigs and lingerie and booty shakes and vulgarity. And I’m not sure she’s pulling it off either.
Here’s the regular trailer (SFW):
Here’s the redband trailer (NFSW because of balls and some language):
I’m sure there will be a lot of Jennifer-fans who think this was a long time coming, that she should have been doing dirty R-rated comedies for a while. And I’m sure there will be some Aniston-fans who think this seems kind of cheesy, gross and uncomfortable for her. Eh.
As long as we’re doing trailers, have you seen the latest Man of Steel trailer? Now this is something I want to see. Michael Shannon as General Zod is my everything.
If recent pop-cultural history has shown anything at all, it’s that ladies love Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Tommy Solomon has not only grown up good but also appears so grateful and enthusiastic about his success and even looks good while pumping gas. Now JGL appears in a new feature film, Don Jon (formerly titled Don Jon’s Addictions), that functions as his writing and directing debut. Last year, Kaiser covered some meathead set photos where Joe looked a little too orange for my liking. Honestly, he looked like the ultimate “Jersey Shore” reject, which is saying something considering that I willingly watched every episode of that dumb show.
But now there’s a trailer for the Don Jon movie, which was a hit at Sundance and was immediately picked up for global distribution, and the trailer is unavoidably charismatic. Kaiser, CB, and myself were all gushing over how surprisingly sweet this trailer appears. The words “cute” and “adorable” came to pass more than once. The trailer itself is a wee bit NSFW, but watch it, and you’ll probably like it too:
See, this movie co-stars Tony Danza JGL’s dad! Julianne Moore is in there too. Essentially, this is a very sweert rom-com with a pr0ny twist. That is, the titular Don Jon is obsessed with (as the trailer suggests) a few things, which include pr0n. Then he falls in love with Scarlett Johansson’s character, who adores cheesy romantic comedies just like Don Jon harbors a weakness for pr0n.
ScarJo does an excellent Joisey accent here (seriously, that’s some very effective gum smacking) and finally embraces her own sexuality (which she has steadfastly buried under wraps for the past few years) as an actress even though her character honestly doesn’t understand why Don Jon continues to watch his pr0n even though he has her. The premise sounds awful, I know, but the trailer says otherwise. The movie also stars Channing Tatum and Anne Hathaway in a movie-within-a-movie. It’s going to be a total sleeper and an unexpectedly great date movie, I just know it.
What would happen if Beetlejuice and Men In Black had a love child and that love child was an idiot? That love child idiot would be R.I.P.D., the new film starring Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds. I remember the photos from this film shoot too, and at the time I thought it was a standard-issue “opposites attract” cop movie, like Lethal Weapon only with one old white guy and one young white guy. As it turns out, R.I.P.D. is “supernatural” and extremely weird. That’s kind of on me, by the way. I never bothered researching this mess, and it’s only now that I’m discovering that the film is based on a comic called Demolition Man. R.I.P.D. stands for “Rest In Peace Department” – meaning that the characters Ryan and Jeff play are actually dead, and they’re like ghost cops. Why didn’t they just call this shiz “Ghost Cops”? It would have been more to the point and less annoying. Here’s the first trailer:
The only bit I think is somewhat funny is the thing about how people in the real world see them as completely different people, and Jeff’s reality avatar is a really hot model chick. By the way, how in the world did Jeff Bridges ever sign on to this mess? What, he won his Oscar so he’s just doing crazy stuff now? And I swear to God, he’s still doing his Rooster Cogburn voice from True Grit (how amazing was True Grit?). I guess I understand why Ryan Reynolds said yes to this – he wanted to work with Jeff and it’s not like Ryan gets all of the good scripts, you know? Ryan Gosling gets first choice. Reynolds is lucky if he gets Gosling’s throwaways.
Anyway, this comes out on July 19th… let’s see what it’s up against… The Lone Ranger will dominate the first weekend of the month, than Pacific Rim (maybe?) the week after that, and the only thing really competing with RIPD is the sequel to Red, that Bruce Willis/John Malkovich/Helen Mirren movie. I dunno… I’m kind of rooting for Red 2. Right?
The Lone Ranger, starring Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer, comes out on July 3 in America, just in time for the 4th of July weekend box office battle. I’m actually quite sure that The Lone Ranger will make money. It will probably make buckets of money. It will probably make so much money that there will be talk of a sequel. But here’s what’s really worrying me: Depp’s Disneyified parody of the Tonto character – which, yes, has always been a racial/racist caricature – will become “cool” with kids and a million young children will think it’s awesome to talk to in stilted pidgin English. Ugh. I know I’m overthinking it. Go ahead and yell at me. But… it still bugs.
Anyway, there’s a new trailer for The Lone Ranger. I covered the first trailer back in October of last year, and Bedhead covered the second trailer in December. I feel like producers are making a concerted effort to de-emphasize the racial caricature aspect of Depp’s Tonto and rebrand this story as ALL Armie Hammer. Which is okay, I guess. Here’s the new (and final) trailer:
I like that they show Tonto saving the Lone Ranger’s life. I like that they seem to have a real partnership, a bromance or whatever. That will make it better. And I guess Disney is just hoping that people don’t overthink everything. Sure. Good plan!
Here are some photos of Armie Hammer at CinemaCon yesterday… Depp was there too, but he didn’t pose on the carpet. The fact that Depp went to CinemaCon to shill this movie? Yeah. Depp really wants this to be a big hit.
A few months ago, we saw the first full trailer for Brad Pitt’s neverending trainwreck-production World War Z, and I was surprised by how good it looked. Granted, I didn’t read the book that it’s loosely based on, and I would probably feel differently if I had read the book. I hear the book was slower and more meditative, and the film has completely rearranged the way the story (of the zombie apocalypse) has been told. But considering this film cost something like $200-300 million to make and considering it’s being released in June, the expectations for this to deliver on a popcorn-blockbuster level are pretty high. And now that I’ve seen the second trailer… I think the film might actually deliver…?
Yeah. I would see this, and I’m not even into zombie stories. There’s an element (I think) of 28 Days Later to this, only instead of telling a smaller, personal story of the zombie apocalypse in England, WWZ is all about the global pandemic and how a super-power deals with the disaster. Call me crazy, but I think Brad’s crazy gamble might pay off and this movie is going to be HUGE. Men of all ages will want to see it because it’s about zombies and ladies will agree to see it because it stars Brad Pitt.
Here’s the new poster for the film too – it’s striking but they could do better.
Poster courtesy of Collider, additional images courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
Two trailers were released this week for two completely different films and I want to see both of them in different ways. First, the new trailer for Iron Man 3 which… looks okay. I really liked the first Iron Man and I thought the second one blew major chunks. I guess the third is supposed to be a return to, like, actual storytelling and a real plot that isn’t just a set-up for another damn franchise. This one is also notable because people are saying Gwyneth Paltrow’s Pepper Potts might be in real danger or something? Are they going to kill off poor Pepper? God, that would be awesome. I mean, I kind of like Pepper in the world of Iron Man, but let’s not pretend that Gwyneth is the reason people are tuning into the franchise. Anyway, less talking, more action!
See? It’s nice that it doesn’t feel as if they’re giving away the whole plot. I have high hopes for Guy Pearce, and not-so-high hopes for Ben Kingsley who, let’s face it, will say “yes” to anything. That man loves to get paid, and I hope he’s amassed a spectacular fortune because good God does he say yes to some crappy movies. (And I’m saying that as someone who adores Ben Kingsley.)
Next up: the trailer for the long-awaited What Maisie Knew, starring Alexander Skarsgard, Julianne Moore, Steve Coogan and a precocious child actor. I was actually blown away by how good this looks:
As any child of divorce will tell you, this sh-t is real. I mean, they’ve heightened the stakes with the story because Julianne is playing some kind of rock star and Coogan is playing against type as some kind of super-dramatic bastard. But my heart-area pinged a little bit with this. This is going to be good. And Skarsgard looks GREAT in this.
Photos courtesy of WENN, posters courtesy of Marvel.
A lot of you are already talking about all of the trailers that debuted during the Super Bowl, so I thought I would put them all together! We got extended glimpses at Robert Downey Jr., Benedict Cumberbatch, Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt, so the commercials were a surprisingly good moment for quality dong, right? Here are some of my favorite trailers:
Iron Man 3 – this is the 1:30-minute length trailer floating around, I’m not including the teaser (which is just a shorter version of this). I hope Iron Man 3 is better than the second one, because the second one really sucked (imo).
Here’s the new teaser trailer for Star Trek Into Darkness. It features a new mini-clip of Benedict Cumberbatch saying “I am better…” Chris Pine: “At what?” Cumby: “EVERYTHING.” Amazing. “Shall we begin?” Yes, in my pants.
New teaser for World War Z – this is a lot of the same stuff, although I’m fascinated by the idea that someone thought of moving the original Constitution in the case of the Zombie Apocalypse.
New trailer for The Lone Ranger! I like that they’re showing more of Armie Hammer.
Wait, they made ANOTHER Fast & Furious movie? Ugh.
Selena Gomez covers the February issue of Nylon magazine to promote her role as one of the bikini-clad college girls who decide to rob banks (?) to fund a beach vacation in Harmony Korine’s Spring Breakers. I’ve posted the trailer at the bottom of this post, but first let’s talk about this Nylon cover. This magazine always has the worst covers, right? Always so busy with the colored, competing fonts and the dreadful clothing. Poor Selena cant be enjoying wearing a fringed basketball jersey that looks like it’s woven out of potholder material. The one editorial shot that’s been released isn’t quite as awful though. Here are some interview excerpts:
On fame: “I think [the paparazzi] are over me because I’m so boring[...] I get to Topanga Mall, and they’re like, ‘Why is she back at the same place?’”
On Spring Breakers: “It was my first audition in years. I definitely felt that with my first stepping-out role, I should choose something that I could understand a little more. I was really nervous, but Harmony took a chance with me. He said, ‘You live in this bubble, and I’m going to take you out of it, but you have to trust me.’”
Her BFF is still Taylor Swift: “We both experienced the same things at the same time. But we’ve never once talked about our industry. She just became the person I’d go to for an issue with my family or boyfriend. It’s so hard to trust girls, so I’m lucky to have her.”
A pre-breakup summary of her thing with Bieber: “I’m having fun. At the end of the day, love is such a normal thing, and everyone deals with it. Just because it’s a different lifestyle doesn’t change the meaning of what I’ve been raised on, which is fairy tales.”
Yeah, it sounds like Selena already had one well-heeled shoe out the relationship door when this interview took place. I really hope she and Bieber are done for good this time because she can do so much better. Speaking of Selena lowering herself, the first trailer from Spring Breakers is out, so let’s watch and discuss below.
Just when I thought James Franco couldn’t be more annoying, he has to double down on his K-Fed makeover with chrome teeth and a terrible accent. When he drawled, “Don’t be spishious,” I actually gave Kristen Stewart a run for her eye-rolling money. This movie looks pretty dreadful even though it’s not meant to be serious. Obviously, Harmony Korine has taken advantage of the fact that former Disney starlets would welcome the chance to don bikinis, wield weapons, and shed their good-girl images. Vanessa Hudgens has already been trying to shed her High School Musical roots for a few years, but it doesn’t look like this movie is going to help much. Unfortunately for her, making the transition from teen to adult actor also requires talent, which is definitely a problem area for Vanessa. She plays the fame game well, but she’s not much of an emoter. As for Selena, only time will tell, but I doubt that her desire to be taken seriously as an actress will be aided by Spring Breakers.
A few weeks ago, the teaser trailer for Star Trek Into Darkness dropped and IT ROCKED MY WORLD. The teaser was very, very heavy on the Benedict Cumberbatch, almost to the exclusion of the main characters of the Star Trek universe. It almost seemed like… Cumby is THE star of the film and all of the traditional characters are merely his supporting cast? Which would be fine with me, because the only reason I’m going to see STID is because of Cumby (my apologies to Zachary Quinto, John Cho, Chris Pine, et al – I don’t really give a crap about any of you).
Anyway, following the teaser trailer release, Cumby did a ton of “teaser” press – I mean, the movie doesn’t come out until May 2013, there was no need for Benedict to do 20 new interviews. But I guess the interviews were tied to The Hobbit (Cumby is in that) and how the first nine minutes of STID were released ahead of The Hobbit on some IMAX showings. What we ended up finding out is that Cumby is NOT playing Khan, which was heavily theorized. Cumby is playing a “terrorist” named John Harrison.
Well, now the full-length trailer for STID has been released. And it’s kind of… eh…? Like, the teaser was so full-on Cumby with the voiceover and it just seemed to be ALL ABOUT CUMBY, and this trailer makes me think that if I see this movie, I’m going to have to contend with a lot of whining from Chris Pine. Boooooo. Update: I just added a new trailer because the old one wasn’t working!
“Is there anything you would not do… for your family…?” I would send my mother up the river if I had a chance to have his voice on my thighs. For real. Sorry, Mom. Anyway, I like the idea of Cumby in some kind of glass cell (or whatever that was). I shall keep him in my all-glass sex dungeon and that way I can look at his strangely beautiful face whenever I want.
True story: I am not a comic book person. I never was into comics when I was a kid, and that’s a lifestyle choice I regret now because you can’t swing a d-ck these days without running into some comic book adaptation or reboot of an adaptation or reimagining of an origin story of a reboot of a comic book. Plus, I actually think I might enjoy the mythology that goes along with many of these comics – I love Greek mythology and I love Freudian BS, so why wouldn’t I love comics? Alas, it just never happened for me. But I was struck by the weird over-emphasis on Superman mythology and Freudian crap in the new trailer for Man of Steel. This feels… odd? It doesn’t feel like a standard superhero or comic book movie. It feels like people are trying to make Superman into some kind of Icon of Emo:
What’s with all of the crying? What’s with all of daddy issues? Why is Kevin Costner like, “Eh, maybe you should have let a bus full of kids die so no one would know you had special powers”? Why is some woman getting all accusatory like, “My kid SAW Clark save all of those kids HOW COULD HE?!?!” And on and on. I’ll admit that I thought the snippet of Diane Lane talking to Clark through the door was sweet and heartbreaking, but again: why is Clark/Superman so f—king emo? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he’s faster than a speeding bullet, stronger than 100 men put together, and weepier than the most PMS-y amongst us. I mean, this looks like a beautifully shot film full of powerful comic-mythology imagery, along with some really obvious Superman-as-Christ imagery. But there should be some action too, right?
A few more things: I’m pretty sure the music was jacked from Gladiator and we get our first look at Michael Shannon as General Zod. I LOVE MICHAEL SHANNON. His General Zod looks cray. Also: nice little snippet with Amy Adams as Lois Lane! She seems born to play the Lois Lane role.
Posters courtesy of Warner Bros/‘Man of Steel’ and pics courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
