In the October 2006 issue of Allure magazine, Jessica Simpson proclaimed that the way to her heart was through accepting her father, Creepy Pa Joe.

When asked by the interviewer if she thought her father’s overarching role in her life contributed to the end of her marriage, and if any man could compete with her father, Jessica simply had this to say:

“I think any man who is intimidated by that
relationship, I don’t want to be with.”

She further went on to say that she’s not the type of girl who sleeps around.

Whoah, Ken Paves’ hairspray seems to have permanently killed the brain cells in poor Jessica’s head. How this girl goes from talking about her father, to being a tease, and then going gaga for cock is just crazy.

Does she really think we are going to believe she is sleeping with her clothes on next to John Mayer? Also, does Creepy Pa Joe approve of her relationship with John? Because if he doesn’t, John’s going be out of Jessica’s life faster than you can say “Lachey”.

Headline View is now the default because I don’t want to scroll through all the crap I write, either. It took me a while to figure out how to do this, as the archives and main page are controlled by the same file. Everything’s all set now though. I am really tired from working on the site and didn’t have a lot of energy to rip on celebrities today.

I did find these pictures of Tracey Gold at the Emmy’s, though, and have to ask WTF is she wearing? She looks all cute and mom-like from the top half up, and her sequined bodice is kind of standard but not bad. She suffers from what the Fug girls would call the scrolldown, though, and her outfit has a weird split skirt that makes it look like she’s wearing an elf costume. Also, what is she doing at the Emmys? I realize they’re not as exclusive as the Oscars, but what is she in? Ok, I did an IMDB search and she was in like one Lifetime movie this year.

In 2004 she should have won an Emmy for “Best tearful confession to Oprah” for her “I didn’t know I was that drunk - I thought my husband was going to drive us” performance.

Here are today’s links:
- Why does H&M think that people want to dress like Madonna? Maybe in the 90s. [CityRag]
- How many bikinis does Lindsay Lohan have, anyway? [Mollygood]
- It’s clear, though, why Lindsay wears as little as possible in most situations. Bitch does not know how to dress. [Socialite's Life]
- Lindsay Lohan will also get her own perfume [Showbiz Stupidity]
- Another hot lesbian couple is coming to The O.C.. [Bastardly]
- Was that girl with the annoying voice in “The Incredibles” based on a teenage Angelina Jolie? [Celebvent]
- Nicole Richie and Brodie Jenner make it official [I'm not obsessed]
- Beerfest is a prototypical dumb guy’s flick, but it’s hilarious [Pajiba]
- Paris Hilton to wear diapers during $195,000 space trip [CelebGuru]
- Paris Hilton makes people spray Tilex on their privates [Jordan is your Homeboy]
- Someone released two live rattlesnacks in a theatre while “Snakes on a Plane” was on [Junkiness]
- How many dogs does Charlize Theron own? (She’s in a bikini and even bends over, so you won’t be looking at her dogs) [yeeeah]
- Jon Benet suspect John Karr will not be charged with the murder since his DNA didn’t match. He’s just a freak and wishes he did it. [DListed]
- Conan O’Brien’s mall bangs [Gallery of the Absurd]
- Charlotte Church thinks her fat is sexy since its spread out all over her body, while J.Lo’s is concentrated on her ass, which somehow makes her less sexy. This reasoning is seriously flawed. [Agent Bedhead]
- Gisele is not that hot without makeup [Gabsmash]
- The S.S. Minnow from Gilligan’s Island is up for sale [Glitterati]
- Hot Momma Drama shares pictures of her new baby girl [Hot Momma Drama]
- Emmy Awards nipple slip video [Egotastic]

The big news at The Primetime Emmy Awards was that Grey’s Anatomy got shut out. Not one actor from Grey’s won an Emmy, and it lost the Best Drama award to 24. There were new voting rules in effect, and although the official Emmy site is vague about it so it’s difficult to tell what they mean, that may have something to do with it.

Other winners included (it is so asanine to capitalize everything in press releases, but I’m not going to retype):

Here is the complete list of Emmy Award Winners.

Here are pictures from the Emmys including Jennifer Love Hewitt, Mariska Hargitay, Patrick Dempsy, Blythe Danner, Meghan Mullally, Ellen Pompeo, Peter Krause, Evangeline Lilly, Jaime Pressly, Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon, Keifer Sutherland, Gillian Anderson, Heather Locklear, Tyra Banks, Paula Abdul, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus. [via]

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Jennifer Lopez is supposedly pregnant, and this time it sounds like more than a rumor. Former American Idol star Jesse McCartney, who is said to be a friend of Lopez and her husband, Marc Anthony, let the news slip during a radio station interview:

People think J.Lo is pregnant every few months, so this doesn’t seem substantial until she’s showing or it’s officially confirmed. There haven’t been many candids of J.Lo recently, but that only means she hasn’t been hitting the paparazzi spots or going to high profile events. She is due to attend the Toronto Film Festival next month, so we’ll have to scope out the pictures to see if she has a bump.

Meanwhile a British rag claims that J.Lo didn’t quit “Dallas” - she was fired because John Travolta can’t stand her:

If this is true, and I doubt it, Travolta might be so vehemently against J.Lo because she rejected his freaky cult religion, Scientology. Remember all those pictures of J.Lo out shopping with Leah Remini? She undoubtedly tried to convert her to Scientology, and I bet Catholic J.Lo wasn’t having it.

Besides, it was said that J.Lo quit “Dallas” because the production was sinking fast and she thought Travolta wasn’t up to par as a leading man. He may have heard that she didn’t want to star in with him, and leaked the news that it was his decision, not hers. It’s classic.

Here’s an ad for Lopez’ new “Luxe” fragrance line. Some horny art director made an unappreciated designer spend a lot of time getting her to look just naked enough to make allergy-aggravating cheap perfume look sexy. I wonder if her areolas are really this big. Hey - big nipples are a sign of pregnancy, or heartbreakingly ineffective ongoing fertility treatment.

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