CB and I were just chatting about Ralph Fiennes and whether or not he’s creepy. CB is definitely in the “hell yes, that man is too good at playing creeps to not be one himself” category. I’m in the “but he’s so pretty, and so talented, he would marry me if he ever met me and I bet he’s a freak in the sack” category. I don’t really understand how people cannot love Ralph Fiennes, even after that unfortunate incident back in 2007 involving a flight attendant, a airplane bathroom, and no condom. Sigh. Never before had I wanted to be an unfortunate-looking flight attendant.

Anyway, my original immortal beloved Ralph is vacationing in St. Tropez with his dear friend Liam Neeson. I wonder who had the idea to vacation together? Did Liam ask Ralph to come, or did Ralph suggest a holiday? They seem to be having a good time – Ralph more than Liam, because Ralph seems to be smiling in most of these pictures. Ralph looks great in that blue shirt, too. Yummy.

It looks like they might have a couple of young women with them too – but I’m not jumping to conclusions. I think I see one of Liam’s sons, so those girls could be Liam’s sons’ girlfriends or friends. My favorites of this group of pictures are the ones of Ralph and Liam sitting under some kind of shade, looking at something out of frame. I like how they’re sitting together, pretty close. It says to me “We’re men, we gossip at the beach like everyone else, whatever.”

Ralph seems to have been a major part of Liam’s support system after Natasha’s death this past March. Ralph and Liam have been close friends since they worked together on Schindler’s List in 1992, and Ralph was also very close to Natasha. I think it’s really cool that Ralph’s stepped up in a big way to help Liam through a difficult time. And I just love a good bromance at the beach!

Photo Credit: ELIOT PRESS/bauergriffinonline.com

Oprah is still queen of everything she touches – despite a few dings to her crown. The first ding was losing the number one spot on Forbes’s Most Powerful Celebrity list - Oprah came in second to Angelina Jolie. Soon after, Newsweek called Oprah out for what they deemed “crazy talk”, otherwise known as the shoddy medical advice Oprah promotes on her show. Newsweek used a horrible photo of Oprah too – surely, a sign of the coming apocalypse. After those two incidents, it makes sense that Oprah would want to take a little time and regroup, re-evaluate, perhaps question if her queendom is suffering.

But no queen shall go it alone! Oprah decided to treat her staff and their families (some-odd 1700 people) to an epic vacation – 3 days in Barcelona, then a 10-day cruise to Italy, Turkey, Greece and Malta. Some estimates put the cost of the whole action-packed vacation with the boss at something around a million dollars. Oprah can afford it – she is a billionaire, after all. This isn’t even the first time Oprah has treated her staff and their families to an all-expenses-paid vacation. Four years ago she treated them all to a Hawaiian trip. That must make it worth it – I’d imagine Oprah is a tough (but probably fair) boss, a taskmaster, and a perfectionist. But if you get an all-expenses-paid trip every couple of years, it’s a sweet deal.

On a less-than-queenly note, the National Enquirer is reporting a funny story about Oprah that I don’t buy in the least. I guess I’m reporting on it because I find it funny, and because the Enquirer has broken several juicy stories the past few months, so there’s a possibility it could be true. It’s based on a true story – that Oprah has kept diaries for many years. Oprah has admitted her diary-keeping on her show and in interviews. The Enquirer is claiming that the diaries are missing, and that Oprah is terrified the contents will be leaked publicly. Oprah’s scared that people will find out that she and best bud Gayle King are “more than just friends”. Hm…

Oprah Winfrey’s private diaries are missing – and The ENQUIRER has learned the most intimate secrets in them!

The talk-show queen has confided the shocking contents of her secret journals to close pals, including the admission that she and her best pal Gayle King are more than just friends who often share the same bed!

Oprah is terrified those disclosures could be “misinterpreted” if the diaries become public, sources say, and she’s worried that longtime love Stedman Graham will leave if he discovers her true thoughts.

The powerful media mogul also says she’s recently written in her diaries that her eating binges are getting worse, insiders say, and called her former protege Dr. Phil McGraw a snake who can’t be trusted!

Oprah has been writing regular entries in her diaries since she worked at a Baltimore TV station with Gayle during the late 1970s, another insider divulged.

“Oprah is frantic to get these diaries back!” a close source told The ENQUIRER. “She’s admitted she’s written some things over the years that are very explosive!”

[From The National Enquirer]

I’ll buy that Oprah writes about food in her diaries. And I’ll buy that she thinks Dr. Phil is a “snake”. But the Gayle-lesbian thing has been out there so long, enough already. I really do think that if Gayle and Oprah were really lovers, Oprah would tell us. Maybe that’s naïve of me, but I do think Oprah would do full disclosure on that topic. And if she didn’t, Gayle would. Gayle already has the soul of a starf-cker, she wouldn’t be able to keep quiet if she and Oprah really were getting it on.

Oprah is shown on 6/25/08. Credit: PRPhotos.com

Britney Spears is on vacation after completing the US leg of her comeback tour. Not only did she work hard to get in shape for her concerts, but Brit clearly wasn’t letting herself chomp the Cheetos backstage either. She looks great. So Brit’s rewarding herself by vacationing in the Bahamas with her sons, dad, and agent/maybe secret boyfriend, Jason Trawick. The Blemish thinks Britney would make a good dinosaur based on just-released bikini photos of her because, “She has those thick, muscular legs, an insatiable appetite and is slow and lumbering.” I’ll grant them the thing about the legs – part of it seems to be that she’s got a long torso and relatively short legs. And for some reason I can’t explain, a lot of celebs look like they’re lumbering when they’re photographed on the beach. It must just be something about the way people move on sand – it doesn’t photograph well. Nonetheless, Brit looks awesome.

With her U.S. tour over—a three-ring circus filled with random awesome one-liners and terrifying weave mishaps—and the European leg about to get started in London on June 3, Britney Spears takes some time to relax.

The pop star, joined by her usual entourage of Sean Preston, Jayden James, papa Jamie, brother Bryan and secret agent (boyfriend?) Jason Trawick, has been building sandcastles and chilling with dolphins in the Bahamas.

And it’s not a real vacation if it’s not mentioned on Twitter, so Brit took care of that: “Nothing better than a day at the beach with my family! -Britney”

Now, beach vacations are widely considered the best because of the opportunity to glimpse famous people’s bodies in little clothing. So ogle away at Brit’s toned abs, because ’tis the season and all.

[From E!]

Britney’s done a good job of keeping her maybe-relationship with Jason Trawick under wraps. If they are dating, then they’re truly trying to hide it from the press, and not in a “we’re denying it so we get more attention” sort of way. While there have been reports here and there, every so often some random rumor of another guy pops up for about two days. I’m betting Brit and Jason really are a couple, and he’s working the PR people to throw the press off the trail. Because Jason’s sure joined Britney for a lot of family vacations when most agents stay home. Or maybe he’s just really hands-on. So to speak.

Images thanks to Mavrix.

Nothing makes me happier than celebs who are doing so well they’re able to jet off to the Bahamas at a moment’s notice. And by “happier” I mean “seethe with envy.” Seriously, it is in the low 20s in New York once you factor in the wind chill. Yesterday I actually thought it felt warm when it hit 27 degrees. I would give just about anything to lay on a warm beach. Even just a temperate beach. I would be amenable to anything above 48 degrees at this point. Oh, and it would help if I looked like Hilary Duff in a bikini.

Hilary and boyfriend Mike Comrie have been enjoying the Bahamas, which means she’s also partaking in the cherished celebrity tradition of frolicking about in her bikini.

Hilary Duff and her boyfriend, New York Islander Mike Comrie, enjoyed a getaway to the Bahamas this past weekend. Duff, 21, and Comrie, 28, who have been together since 2007, spent some time by the pool and laughed and canoodled their way around their island paradise.

Duff’s earned the right to taking it easy for now; she’s had a lot on her plate lately, with much more coming up. Hilary’s ready to return to TV, starting with a guest shot on CBS’ The Ghost Whisperer. EW reports that Duff will play a “mysterious young woman” who may be involved in a man’s death. The reason for the guest spot? Duff and Ghost Whisperer Jennifer Love Hewitt are best pals! Hopefully Hilary can console Jennifer during the grief from her broken engagement.

[From Celebuzz]

Never miss a chance to slam Jennifer Love Hewitt. How unnecessary was that? Tease as I might about the bikini, Hilary is definitely one of the more private celebs – she’s covered herself up quite a bit in many of the shots. Nonetheless, here’s Hilary and Mike enjoying the beach in the Bahamas. It sounds like she’ll have a busy schedule in the near future, so I suppose I can’t begrudge her a warm vacation.

Images thanks to Splash and Mavrix.

After their marriage was recently rocked by rumors of infidelity, Sarah Jessica Parker and husband Matthew Broderick took a getaway with their son James Wilkie. According to Fame, the family is vacationing in Ireland where they have a cottage. Supposedly the two don’t really have a “conventional” marriage, and some rumors make it sound more like they’re now friends that are raising their son together.

She’s had a hit summer movie (Sex and the City) and a brush with scandal, and Sarah Jessica Parker is leaving it all behind with a trip to Ireland.

The Carrie Bradshaw actress was spotted along with her 5-year-old son James Wilkie and husband Matthew Broderick on holiday at Muckros, County Donegal, Ireland where they own a cottage.

Parker looked to be having a marvelous time, sporting a blue scoopneck top and brown trousers as she frolicked in the beautiful Irish countryside, far away from the tabloid rumors of her husband’s affair.

Recently, Broderick’s rep refused to address the unfounded claims that he’d had an affair with a woman 21 years his junior, telling press, “There will be no comment.”

[From the Gossip Girls]

They’ve definitely stuck to that “no comment” rule. Which is driving me absolutely bonkers. But to their credit it seems to be working – when I googled the pair almost nothing new comes up since the affair rumor at the beginning of the month. It probably helps that they’ve gone overseas and away from the New York paparazzi, who were already following Parker with stalker-like zeal before the affair rumors. Here’s Sarah Jessica, James Wilkie and Matthew Broderick today in Ireland. Images thanks to Fame.

Britney Spears celebrated the finalization of her custody battle by going on vacation with Palms Hotel & Casino owner George Maloof, Jr. The vacation seems to be professional and/or platonic – Britney’s been rumored to be in negotiations to star in a Vegas show, and she and Maloof have been friends for years. And she was photographed dancing and flirting with another (hotter) mystery guy. The two were goofing around poolside, with Britney in a bikini. All that working out has done her a lot of good – she looks much healthier than she did a few months ago.

With her custody drama with Kevin Federline finally over, Britney Spears is back in shape and ready for fun.

The pop star escaped to Cabo San Lucas in Mexico for a sunshine holiday with a group of friends, including longtime pal George Maloof, who owns the Palms Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

After slipping into a skimpy white bikini, the singer flirted up a storm with another male companion, giggling as the pair danced around the pool arm-in-arm.

And for posterity – or perhaps another disastrous reality show – a female friend caught all the action on a video camera.

The party later moved to the beach, where Britney frolicked on the foreshore before cooling her heels in the sea.

[From the Daily Mail]

The Daily Mail has the pictures There’ve also been a lot of rumors floating around this last week that Britney may indeed open for MTV’s Video Music Awards again this year- hopefully correcting her legendarily awful performance from last year. Brit was nominated for an award by fans, for her video Piece of Me.

Originally it was said that MTV producers were open to the idea of her performing, but now the phrasing is more like “worried she wants to perform.” Which is a tad different. But she has made a pretty awesome comeback in the last few months, and seems to realize what a disastrous effect her last performance had. I think that if anyone could make that comeback, it’s Britney.

Update: here are the photos, thanks to Splash News.