There are a lot of significant differences between British and American English. A few are funny and lead to amusing/embarrassing anecdotes about when you accidentally told someone to light a gay person on fire and stick them in your mouth, or someone asked you where the lift was and you offered to pick them up. Things like that. Then there are the rare words that you don’t even realize mean two completely different things, because it doesn’t come up a lot. Along the lines of fag = cigarette, lift = elevator, it turns out that style = emaciated crack whore. Victoria Beckham has said that she loves Amy Winehouse’s “sense of style.” Clearly something was lost in translation.

International fashion icon Victoria Beckham, 33 loves struggling Soul singer Amy Winehouse, 24, and her ‘unique’ sense of style. Posh says: “She has a real sense of style that I just love. She’s very much a fashion icon and I adore what she wears. She’s so unique and original.”

Victoria also admits she and husband David are both fans of the ‘Rehab’ singer’s music. Posh adds: “I’ve never met her but I just love her music, I’ve always got it on at home with David and the children. She’s an amazing singer.”

[From Wicked Youth]

Posh and Amy actually have very similar body shapes. Posh got hers through her legendary sushi and oxygen diet, whereas Amy’s came about from the slightly tougher meth, beer, and blood diet. Both require strict adherence to some pretty unhealthy rules, but if you really stick with it, you can whittle your 5’3 body down to 81 pounds. And it seems like that’s the only real requirement in the Victoria Beckham style school. Amy Winehouse is just one pair of rigidly round implants away from marrying David Beckham. If I were Posh, I wouldn’t admire Amy, I’d be wary of the competition.

The Spice Girls are touring, making them suddenly cool again (or maybe ‘cool’ for the first time). Victoria Beckham is featured on the cover of Elle magazine this month, and revealed what we’ve long suspected - she has no natural talents.

ON HER TALENT:
“It became very obvious from the start,” Beckham continues, “that I was never going to be the best singer or the best dancer or the best actress. I was never a ‘natural.’ ” She thinks about this. “You know, I’ve never been that good at anything, to be completely honest.”

[From Elle]

Actually, Posh seems to have a talent for attracting attention to herself and wearing naff outfits.

As if to prove that she has no talent, at the Los Angeles Spice Girls show she skipped her solo singing spot, instead opting for a prance down the runway.

Baby, Scary, Ginger and Sporty each belted out solo numbers. Mel C’s “I Turn to You”, Scary’s rendition of “Are You Gonna Go My Way” and Ginger’s of “It’s Raining Men” brought the house down! Meanwhile, Posh rested her pipes and opted instead for a maaayjah prance down the runway as a mix of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” and RuPaul’s “Supermodel” played in the background.

[From TMZ]

When the Spice Girls were in their heyday it was always said that Posh and Sporty were the two strongest singers, so I wonder if Victoria’s reluctance to sing is actually from a lack of self confidence. Although, she did work that catwalk!

While I’ve never heard any of Victoria’s solo music, maybe a great cover would work for her. How much would you love to see her parody herself while singing ‘You’re So Vain’?

Note by Celebitchy: Victoria Beckham is shown in the video below singing live and acoustic. She’s not bad. Victoria is shown in the header image on 12/7/07 at “The Mint” in LA with Mel B, thanks to Splash News.

I was looking through photos of The Elizabeth: The Golden Age premiere in London a couple days ago and I thought “What was Victoria Beckham doing there?” But it turns out the person in question is even less qualified to show up at a movie premiere, it was a little-known UK Big Brother contestant named Chanelle Hayes. Hayes has made somewhat of a career out of imitating Posh, right down to her outfits and vacant pout. I have to say she has it down, and she adds some much-needed curves and a more aquiline nose to Posh’s look.

After leaving the Big Brother UK House Hayes went to LA and started prancing around looking like Posh and hoping to get noticed, and she was - a little. People mostly commented on what a nuisance she was:

She’s not even in the house any more, but Chanelle Hayes continues to wind me up. Not content with iimitating Victoria Beckham in this country, Chanelle is currently stalking her idol all over L.A. - and when I say “stalking”, I’m really not joking - I’m surprised the Beckhams haven’t taken out an injunction against her.

Chanelle travelled to L.A. last week. Since her arrival, she’s been mostly hanging around Rodeo Drive dressed up as Posh, hoping that Victoria will rock up and become her new BFF. She also attended an LA Galaxy game, where, despite being refused entry to the VIP enclosure ( I wonder why?) Chanelle still managed to steal some of the limelight from Victoria - now we know why Posh was so stony-faced when David scored that goal last week. Chanelle then made a point of telling everyone who would listen how “gorgeous” David is, and how she has “fallen for him”. Yeah. What a great way to make friends with Victoria Beckham - follow her around dressed up as her, then go on about how much you fancy her husband. That’ll totally work, Chanelle!

[From BigBlogger.co.uk]

As for Posh, she’s in no hurry to meet Hayes. The same blog quotes her as saying that she’s “flattered that Chanelle is a fan, but is in no hurry to meet her”.

Victoria Beckham was recently grilled by a British DJ about whether her boobs were real. On the Radio 1 breakfast show, host Chris Moyles blurted “Everybody knows they’re fake, Victoria, just admit it – we don’t have a problem with them. Seriously, you go jogging without a bra and they don’t move.” Without missing a beat, Posh said “I don’t go jogging,” but refused to acknowledge the question. She also said that David “loves them” when the interviewer compared them to an early Christmas present.

Chanelle Hayes is shown at the “Elizabeth: The Golden Age” premiere on 10/24/07. Victoria Beckham is shown in Paris at the beginning of the month. Thanks to Splash News for these pics.

Anyone with enough time and money can have perfect breasts – but picking the breasts you might like to have takes a little longer. UK scientist Patrick Mallucci spent many hours of research looking for the perfect breast to aid you in your decision. His research involved looking at lad’s magazines. Some people really have the worst jobs, don’t they?

In his lecture, titled Concepts in Design for Breast Augmentation, he will express the hope that his insights are used by surgeons providing breast enlargements.

The operation is Britain’s most popular cosmetic surgery procedure, with 6,156 performed last year.

Mr Mallucci said: “I studied a wide variety of photographs of the most popular topless models to work out the various proportions they had in common and what made those particular features attractive.

“These findings allowed me to form a template around which to plan a breast augmentation, and set a standard of aesthetics.

“Obviously personal interpretation and expression has to be accounted for, but this has allowed me to develop a template that I have been using successfully for some time.”

The key aesthetic elements are nipple position and the proportion between the upper and lower halves of the breast, he said.

“The ideal is a 45 to 55 per cent proportion - that is the nipple sits not at the half-way mark down the breast, but at about 45 per cent from the top.”

He added: “All of the models I looked at conformed to these parameters. None of them were augmentedand yet they were clearly considered to have beautiful breasts, so I wanted to examine how that could be achieved in someone not so well-endowed by using an implant.

“It’s about wanting to create something as close to perfection as possible.”

Daily Mail

Apparently Victoria Beckham’s ‘unnaturally round’ boobs are out, and a UK model and actress by the name of Caprice has a perfect pair. Despite Posh’s breasts not being scientifically appealing, many people still request them when they go in for an augmentation surgery. Almost as many request Caprice’s breasts in Britain and if you’re interested, a Texan surgeon is now offering a breast augmentation procedure that takes 30 minutes, then you go home, have a nap, wash your hair and go out for dinner. All the while screaming in agony I assume.

Posh herself seems to be learning that her sex appeal may not be translating well in her new home across the Atlantic – she’s said to be planning a stint with the Pussycat Dolls. That’s the Las Vegas burlesque troupe and not the pop band.

“They’ve been blown away by Victoria since she arrived in LA,” a source said.

“They love her style and think she has the perfect figure for the group.

“They are all huge Spice Girl fans and can’t wait to have her on stage with them.”

ninemsn.com

Other celebrities that have danced with the troupe include Pamela Anderson, Denise Richards, Tori Spelling, Eva Longoria, and Nicolette Sheridan. I think that Victoria is going to be fighting fit for her Spice Girls tour, and is going to absolutely blow everyone away. If she doesn’t snap like a twig.

Header image from the Daily Mail. Image below from Pretty On The Outside.

David Beckham is saying he’ll only be out of the game - soccer - with an injury for 6 weeks, some punters are suggesting he’ll be out for the whole season. A season he was paid $6.5 million for. Which, for soccer commentators doing the math, works out to $21,000 a minute for what he’s played so far, 310 minutes.

David has said he needs to rest and allow it to heal properly, “get it right and don’t come back until it’s right,” which is probably very sensible. Not being much of a soccer follower, I’m surprised Galaxy signed him for a reported five years, since by your early 30s (David is 32) aren’t most players getting close to retirement? Or does this more apply to other, rougher kinds of football?

It’s been a hard week for David Beckham, his former Manchester United manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, who has for the first time come out and commented on his show business lifestyle.

“He [Beckham] was never a problem until he got married,” the 65-year-old said at “An Audience with Sir Alex Ferguson” at the Citizens Theatre. “He used to go into work with the academy coaches at nighttime. He was a fantastic young lad. Getting married into that entertainment scene was a difficult thing. From that moment his life was never going to be the same. He is such a big celebrity, football is only a small part. The big part is his persona.”

Times Online

Then Sir Bobby Charlrton, the former Manchester United who discovered Becks at his soccer school, added this.

“I think Victoria’s lifestyle affected his game,” said Charlton. “He was a really great footballer and had a terrific talent, but everyone is different and his lifestyle has gone in a different direction.

“When I first saw him, he wanted to be a footballer more than anyone I have ever seen. I wonder sometimes if he thinks what has happened. I would rather he was still playing in England, but he is in America now. He is committed to being there and will earn millions of pounds, so good luck to him.”

Scotsman.com

Posh and Becks have a chance at a big prize this week, nominated by readers of lad’s mag Loaded, for World’s Best Comedy Duo. Editor Martin Daubney suggests it’s “Victoria’s growing comedy chest or her attempts to integrate into American culture by pitching at baseball matches” that has led them to be nominated.

Not laughing at the whole Posh and Becks overseas move fiasco – Galaxy’s accountant.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Beckham is shown on 8/30 at the game where he injured himself. Pictures thanks to Splash News.

Though he injured his… ankle/knee/something below the thigh (I don’t really follow the sports) David Beckham won’t let that get in the way of loving the Posh bones. This morning he confirmed to Ryan Seacrest that the pair would like at least one or two more children, and they’re not letting David’s injury get in the way of another fat-free Posh pregnancy.

“David Beckham may have disappointed fans now that he is out for the season with an injury but his ‘Posh’ sex life with wife Victoria Beckham will continue. He told Ryan Seacrest that the couple wants more kids and that will mean practice, practice, practice. He said, ‘When we first met, we never even spoke about how many kids we wanted. It was just lucky that we both actually wanted around the same number. We both want four or five kids…we’re very family oriented.’

[From the National Ledger]

I’d be family oriented too if I were married to David Beckham. He also told Seacrest a little about adjusting to life in America, and said that for the most part, he and Posh love it.

“Us Weekly magazine has the interview excerpted online. Becks says on life in the U.S.: ‘We’re enjoying it. It’s a country that has sort of embraced us…everyone has been so positive, about not just me as a soccer player, but Victoria as a person…When she does a TV program or a radio program, people actually see what she’s like as a person and see that she’s got a great sense of humor…people really warm to her.’

“In the interview this morning on Seacrest’s L.A. radio show, Becks, 32, says that despite the honor of being admired by women the world over, it’s coming home to Posh, 33, and sons Brooklyn, 8, Romeo, 5, and Cruz, 2, that makes him happy.

“He added on the paparazzi: ‘It’s been pretty intense since we arrived…more than what we are used to. We’re used to being followed by four or five cars maybe, but to have forty seven cars in the first week, every day, following us, it was pretty insane.’”

[From the National Ledger]

That is pretty insane. As people that just look at the pictures, it’s hard to tell how much paparazzi there really are. Is it one lucky photographer, a huddle of 20, or fifty cars following you down the street? I can’t imagine living life under that kind of scrutiny. It would make everything you did feel kind of inauthentic, to have it all snapped by a bunch of strangers. It’d feel like you were always performing or something. Though for the insane money he makes, I think I’d handle it somehow. Probably by paying someone to go around and deflate the air from the all the paparazzi’s cars.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s David at his David Beckham Youth Soccer Clinic - August 17, 2007. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Victoria and David Beckham have had two nannies resign since their move to L.A., complaining of overwork and nagging.

One source revealed, “You’d imagine it’s a dream job working for celebrities like that in California. But these two trained professionals said it was a nightmare. They complained Victoria spoke down to them, her mother Jackie bossed them about and they felt like dogsbodies.”

Despite the Beckhams having plenty of help - from bodyguards to house cleaners - Zara and Claire ended up working longer days cleaning and cooking for the family - a hard job considering Posh Spice’s diet secrets.

The insider continued, “Both girls ended up having to cook and clean up for all the family. Victoria and Jackie constantly nagged and ordered them about. Some days they were on the go from 6am to midnight. The pay was OK but they just got sick of it.”

AHN

The nannnies, Zara from New Zealand and Claire from England, might have also quit as they didn’t like Los Angeles. And when there is two of you, working for huge salaries, maybe a bit of cooking and cleaning isn’t too much to ask? Wouldn’t you have to cook and clean up after the children anyway?

The rumour circulating (again) is that Posh and David will be having another baby, aiming for a girl this time. Maybe the nannies quit in anticipation of the extra work?

Posh and Becks will be making their way to New Zealand later this year to play some soccer. Well, she’ll probably just watch. The - very expensive - tickets are being sold on the condition that David plays. If David can’t play with Galaxy for any reason while he is here, the games will be postponed or canceled. Perhaps a similar strategy could be employed for his American games?

Picture note by Celebitchy: Victoria Beckham is shown taking her son Cruz to a summer daycamp on 8/22/07. Thanks to Splash News.

Photoshop creation by the talented artist at PlanetHiltron

Obviously Posh Spice isn’t fat, but she’ll be appearing as a fat version of herself at a wedding on television’s Ugly Betty.

An insider at the ABC network said: “Everybody at the wedding will be expecting skinny beautiful Posh to show up.

“But they’ll be horrified to see she’s piled on the pounds because of major comfort eating and American junk food.”

The 33-year-old singer - who recently moved to Los Angeles with husband David and their three sons after he signed a multi-million dollar contract with the Los Angeles Galaxy soccer team - admitted she was not invited to appear on the show for her acting prowess.

She said: “I’ll be playing myself. And I’ll get to wear a fabulous outfit, so I won’t be acting.”

New Zealand Herald

I saw the Spice Girls movie, about 30 times when my little sis was crazy for them, and I believe Posh absolutely when she says she won’t be acting!!

Posh, it seems, can write, gushing on her blog about how much she loves her life in Los Angeles.

Hi everybody
Hope you are all well? Well we have finally unpacked our boxes and I am loving our new house - it is totally major! Just adding some of the finishing touches to it actually and then it really will feel like home. On top of that the weather here has been amazing too so we are all a happy bunch. The boys are really looking forward to starting their new school so we’ve got to make sure they are all kitted out with new schoolbags and pencil cases - you remember what it’s like going back to school, you’ve got to have a new EVERYTHING!
David and myself attended a launch last week in Bel Air (very swish) for the launch of our latest fragrance Intimately Beckham, we met lots of people there and I thought it went really well.
On top of that I have been busy having a good look around LA, checking out the restaurants and the beauty parlours - well you never know when you might need a facial!
I’m also just starting work on my new dVb denim collection - I’m really excited about starting the next project - it’s going to be totally major so keep your eyes open for that.
Catch up with you all again very soon
Love
Victoria
x

Only Victoria, I’m not sure that the term ‘swish’ is much in use in America. I could be wrong. Then again, the last thing I would want to hear is Victoria telling us how A-list a party is in a broad West Coast twang. It just wouldn’t be right.

I really don’t think we’ve heard enough about the Beckhams. In an effort to get just a little closer with each and every American, the Beckhams have come out with their own “his and her” fragrances, called “Intimately Beckham.” I’m pretty sure most women would have some ideas about getting intimate with David Beckham… I’m not sure how the gentlemen feel about Victoria though. There’s a lot of bones and silicone to wade through. Lest you fear that this is just another celebrity ploy to put a famous name on an otherwise random piece of merchandise, rest assured that Victoria Beckham is intimately involved in the whole process.

“Why is this different from any other celebrity fragrance? The fact that (I) have spent a lot of time checking all the details,” Victoria Beckham told Women’s Wear Daily. “We are not just saying, `We are celebrities, put our name on it.’ I love to be involved with the whole process.”

[From the Associated Press]

The perfumes sell for $25 - $55 depending on the size of Beckham you’d like to buy. Since Victoria is so tiny, I’m guessing her perfume should actually run about $12. You can go ahead and run on out to purchase a little bit of Beckham at your local department store right now, or wait until the first of next year, when they’ll be available at drugstores. Because nothing says classy like a bottle of eau de toilette you found next to the foot cream at Rite Aid.

What exactly do you think “Intimately Beckham” smells like? Posh’s fragrance must have notes of bulimia, leather shoes and spray-on tanner (do those things have a smell? Let’s assume so). David’s must smell like testosterone… okay that ones probably fine. I’m really beyond annoyed with this couple trying so hard to brand themselves. It’s getting really tasteless. Next they’ll come out with their own line of hams. Beck Hams. Get it? Okay I promise never to do that again.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Remember all the fuss over the ad for the Beckham’s fragrance with Victoria so obviously sporting an enhanced butt? Header image via KissandMakeup.

The Spice Girls just added three new dates to their tour – and ten hair and make up people!

“There’s so much competition between the girls. They all want to look their best so each of them brought in their own separate team. It’s hilarious - and completely over the top. Why can’t they just share like in the old days?” the Mirror quoted the source, as saying.

The band of aids include 10 hair stylists and make-up artists, plus fitness trainers and nutrition experts, as well as personal assistants, managers and security guards.

“It’s a far cry from the old days when they had one make-up artist and a hairdresser between them,” the source said.

However, a band spokesman insisted: “It’s normal for each girl to have a team.”

The Times Of India

I think it’s appropriate to have a team for each Spice - there’s five of them, so it would take hours to groom them for public viewing. Also rumored to be on the Spice Train is clothing designer Donatella Versace. A source describes her as being “a big fan of the girls back in the day.”

Reports in today’s papers claimed the Spice Girls had found their much-needed fairy style godmother in the shape of Donatella Versace, who was said to be designing £200,000-worth of designer stage outfits for their comeback reunion tour - but a spokesperson for Versace has denied that this is the case. “It’s simply not true,” he told us. “I have no idea where the rumours have come from.”

Vogue

I guess it makes sense to have so many more stylists and trainers on hand then before – the girls have put on a few years! But what we all really want to know is – does Ginger have her Union Jack dress back yet? I’m sure Donatella could knock up another, but a new dress just isn’t the same as vintage. Besides, it’s kind of like your wedding dress. Every few years you try it on to see how much weight you’ve gained. Admit it, we all do it. I’m surprised Geri didn’t want to keep it for that purpose alone.

Photo via http://www.dlisted.com“>DListed.