Update: Here’s the full trailer!

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I will admit that I’ve read all the Twilight books and have seen the films, but I don’t consider myself a fan. The last film, New Moon, was cheesy as hell and it dragged on way too long. I still liked it, in that way you like that first s’more before you end up eating five and making yourself sick. Judging from the 10 second preview trailer for Eclipse, the third film in the series which is due out June 30 in the US, we’re in for more of the same. There’s even a shirtless Taylor Lautner standing on a mountaintop! We just need to know that these dreamy boys will be baring their hairless chests for our pleasure. We need some shirtless young men to punctuate all the endless swooning and lip-biting. (As a mom in her 30s, neither the vampire or the were do much for me, but I don’t mind admiring their physiques.)

So here’s the teaser trailer for Eclipse, which I had to read the plot summary for to remember what happens. Without giving too much away, the battle for Bella heats up and she finds herself torn between the two supernaturals who are inexplicably drawn to her. I’ll admit with my head held low that I’ll go see this. The first film was way better than the second, but this next one has yet a third director so maybe they’ll be able to make this glurge palatable again. There’s not much incentive to improve these films, when young girls will flock to see them no matter what. We may even get to see Lautner’s rippling abs in 3D at one point.

In other news about Robert Pattinson, I’ve heard about the ending of Remember Me and people are pissed. I’m not going to reveal any spoilers or even give a link (you can Google it if you want to know and a middle finger to the person who sent it to me without a spoiler warning) but the film is said to exploit a national tragedy in a way that’s cheap and offensive, by some accounts. If you know what happens, please be vague in the comments and don’t reveal that spoiler, although I have a feeling that if you follow celebrity news you’ll come across it soon. Remember Me is out March 12.

Update: There’s a new interview with Pattinson in Parade Magazine, and he gives a lot of good quotes. This kid is really growing on me. Here are my favorite responses that are sure to get repeated: he says he’s not forward with women and never asks them out and that he was beat up as a kid for acting arrogant. There’s more on Parade.com:

The dating game.
“When it comes to the opposite sex, I’m not as fully confident as the guy I play. I don’t even remember the last time I asked someone out on a date, like, just went up to them and that’s the first thing I did. I’m much more self-conscious and not wanting to fail. So I tend to hold back.”

He’s felt the pain before.
“I got beaten up by a lot of people when I was younger. I was a bit of an idiot, but I always thought the assaults were unprovoked. It was after I first started acting and I liked to behave like an actor, or how I thought an actor was supposed to be, and that apparently provoked a lot of people into hitting me.”

[From Parade]

A year ago a video titled ‘Chloe and Keith’s Wedding’ swept the internet. It’s a goofy 44 second clip of a couple’s wedding video, wherein the best man stumbles while handing over the rings, and in the process crashes into the bride and the minister, both of whom go tumbling into the pool behind them. It was featured on most of the major morning shows and everyone thought it was just hysterical. But it turns out the whole thing was a hoax from the get-go: it’s actually a clip from an independent movie.

One of the hottest viral videos of the last year has been Chloe and Keith’s Wedding, a funny little clip of a bride getting knocked into a pool by the clumsy best man mid-ceremony. It was uploaded to YouTube in October of 2008 and has been viewed by at least 30 million people since then. In February, Time magazine ranked it as one of Internet’s 99 Greatest Hits. It has aired on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, The Today Show, Good Morning America, The Early Show and Australian, British and Japanese news networks. Take a look:

Chloe and Keith have laughed about their wedding day, and appeared on Good Day L.A. on Oct 5 talking about a longer version is now available as a 40-minute DVD and download.

But today, we can tell you: it’s definitely a hoax.

Chloe and Keith are actors named Josh Covitt and Charissa Wheeler. They’re not married. The clip and its video follow-up are both part of a completely scripted independent film conceived by writer/director Archie Gips along with producing partner Dennis Anderson and executive producer Nancy Moonves (ex-wife of CBS chief Les Moonves). The pool the bride fell into? That was Nancy’s. It was filmed at her house.

“Yes, it’s a hoax,” Archie told Lifeline Live in a phone call a little while ago. Added Nancy, “We didn’t set out to fool anyone. It just took on a life of its own.” Archie doesn’t really like the word hoax. “It’s more a blurring of reality and fiction,” he says. It started as a way of marketing what they saw as a romantic comedy movie and it snowballed so much that they kept the myth alive. What about flat-out lying – as the actors seemed to do on Good Day L.A.? “We tried to lie as little as possible,” says Archie.

But he admits that some people are really ticked off at finally knowing it’s not a real clip of a real wedding – and that they’re now selling it. “I’ve gotten some vicious emails,” says Archie. They’ve been trying to get on several of the shows that ran the clip initially and one TV show producer was “livid,” says Nancy. “He felt very betrayed. Where’s his sense of humor?”

[From Lifeline Live]

Because I am lame I somehow managed to never see or even hear of this particular video. What can I say, I really prefer the cute animal viral vids more than anything else. So since I watched this after I already knew it was a hoax, to me it seemed… well not obviousit was staged, but definitely suspicious.

The emotion of the bridesmaids at the end is very cheesy and unrealistic. So I guess it’s not just that it seems like acting, but like bad acting. Keith appears to yell “No!” as Chloe and the minister are falling into the pool. That struck me as unrealistic – in the moment, I think you’d just gasp or something. But no is sort of like, “No! It’s my greatest fear realized!” I know that’s something relatively minor, but he just seemed to be really quick with it. I’d be like, “Is this really happening? This isn’t really happening.” Right after that a bridesmaid giggles and says “Oh my God,” and it is just really fake. Her bad delivery of one half line should have made people suspicious from the get-go. Thanks for ruining it, Bridesmaid Number 4. Your career just went down the toilet.

Actually I can’t help but wonder if the careers of everyone involved in this little debacle just went down the toilet. Or in their case, maybe sucked into the pool filtration system.

Here are “Chloe” and “Keith” on Good Day L.A.

The feud between “Girls Gone Wild” scumbag Joe Francis and Playboy model Jayde Nicole continues to rage on. We told you about the L.A. nightclub incident in which Jayde poured a drink on Francis after she saw him aggressively hitting on her friend. Joe retaliated by grabbing the model from behind by the hair, throwing her to the ground and kicking her. Now, there is video that supports Jayde’s claims, taken from the club where the incident occurred. The video clearly shows Francis coming up behind Jayde while her back is turned and viciously dragging her through a crowd of people by the hair.

“He can’t lie anymore!” Jayde Nicole speaks out for the first time since the attack, describing her nightmare experience at the hands of Joe Francis while watching RadarOnline.com’s explosive never-before-seen security video of the incident.

Early in the morning on Friday, August 28, Jayde, her boyfriend Brody Jenner and a group of friends were at Hollywood hot spot Guys and Dolls when Jayde spotted Joe and said he was grabbing her friend and trying to kiss her. Jayde reached through a crowd and dumped her shot-glass drink on Joe’s shoulder. She then turned back to the bar.

That’s when the violence started. Joe pushed bar patrons aside, reached through the crowd and grabbed Jayde by the hair, viciously yanking her to the floor and dragging her through the crowd. A melee ensued, with Brody and others chasing Francis through the bar.

As she stood up barefoot and sat at the bar Jayde said she had no idea what had just happened to her. “I was traumatized at this point,” the former Playboy model told RadarOnline.com. Conflicting reports from Jenner and Francis say that the two got into a fist fight outside the club and Brody was tasered by someone.

Jayde’s lawyer, Ronald Richards, defended his client and slammed Francis’ violent reaction and the defense he’s been using – “This was not any self defense by Mr. Francis.”

[From Radar]

Radar has the video exclusively, so we can’t post it here. But the footage, while black and white and kind of grainy, clearly shows what happened in the club. Unfortunately there’s no video of the fight that happened outside the club, but my theory is that Francis unleashed a couple of thugs on Brody Jenner because he didn’t want to mess up his hair.

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

The healthcare reform debate has gotten so heated lately that everyone’s too busy screaming to actually hear each other talk. It’s definitely an emotional issue, and I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have an opinion about it. So while everyone’s angry and frustrated, Funny or Die and MoveOn.org came up with a different way to get people to hear their side – and it doesn’t involve trying to outshout the other guy.

Funny or Die came up with a great satirical video of famous actors explaining why we need to support the insurance executives. Among the reasons: they teach us that poor spelling may lead to death, and show children not to fall off bikes or they’ll have to pay thousands of dollars out of their allowance.

MoveOn.org, together with the Web site Funny or Die, have released a video featuring Will Ferrell and other celebrities in an effort to drum up support for health care reform efforts, as well as the public option. In the video, which you can see at left, Ferrell, Olivia Wilde, Donald Faison and others sarcastically argue in favor of privatized health care and defend the worst practices of insurance companies.

“Insurance companies are detailed enough to deny claims for things like typos,” Ferrell says, facetiously, in the video. “If you spell something wrong, do you really deserve surgery? I don’t think so.”

The clip comes via MoveOn.org Political Action, which backs the public health insurance option. In a release, the organization said the actors participating in the video agree that a public option must be included in the health care reform bill in order to expand coverage and avoid inflated insurance costs.

President Obama has signaled that he is open to leaving the public option out of the health care bill. “As the health care debate enters the homestretch, humor can serve as a powerful reminder to Americans about what exactly is at stake,” Justin Ruben, Executive Director of MoveOn.org, said in the release. “We were thrilled to partner up with the folks at Funny or Die and I think we’ve hit a homerun with this video depicting who exactly the ‘victims’ are in this crisis and the profit motive that will keep the insurance industry fighting tooth and nail against a public option.”

[From CBS News]

Among the other great lines: “Insurance companies need our support because they keep our selfish priorities in check when we can’t,” and “Insurance company CEOs have a right to their American dream … like a mini zoo in your back yard for exotic animals like a white tiger and pygmy horses.” I seriously doubt that people who are dead-set against heath care reform are going to get a chuckle out of the video, let alone change their minds. But it’s sure a welcome lightening of the debate. Entertainment Weekly argues that sarcasm isn’t the right way to approach this issue. My thought: why not? It’s so stressful and heated, why not joke about it a little bit? Funny or Die managed to mock it without being offensive: they weren’t making fun of the sick people, just the super wealthy executives. I thought it was their best video yet.

Here’s another great (though sorta gross) Funny or Die video for Lashisse, mocking the eyelash growing product Latisse.

Lashisse from Molly Sims

When I first saw the 15 second clip of Madonna’s upcoming single “Celebration” I was sort of impressed. Jesus Luz. Without a shirt. Not bad. Naturally I assumed her record label leaked the clip because they’d get a lot of free Jesus hype. Now I’m thinking they did it because that’s just the only semi-interesting part of the video. I mean it’s all fine. Certainly Madonna doesn’t release sub-par stuff – at least not without someone losing their testicles for it. But it’s just… there. It won’t go down in the books. There are people dancing. Oooh, they’re sped up! Ohhhh, now they’re slowed down. How novel. We’ve already covered Jesus with his shirt off. Lots of jerky dance movements. Little hint of Lourdes near the end. And I think that just about covers it.

Here’s the video of Madonna’s new single ‘Celebration,’ the title track of her upcoming greatest hits album. The material girl shows off her dance moves in thigh-high Louboutin boots and a dress short enough to allow for plenty of gyration and crotch-touching shots.

Around 2:20, Madonna’s boy toy Jesus Luz enters. He is playing a DJ, which is his real-life dream. Madge touches herself some more, realizes she must remove Jesus’ clothes to recognize him, then makes out with him.

Lourdes, Madonna’s 12-year-old daughter, also makes a cameo as a dancer towards the end of the video.

Madonna is currently on her ‘Sticky & Sweet’ tour in Europe, and has made time for visiting Jewish Holy sites with Jesus and speaking out on behalf of the Gypsies.

[From the Huffington Post]

So… yeah, I’m not sure what to say. The video is just so-so to me. There’s no Madonna-esq controversy. There’s nothing fabulous about it. It’s fine. My great grandma has it on her iPod. She’s cool with it. As am I. Couldn’t really offend or interest anyone. I’m sure it’ll occasionally get played in clubs because it has that beat that just screams “I blend well into other songs for 15 second mashups!” And that’s about it.

Maybe I’m off. What do you all think?

“Big” is just about my favorite movie of all time. Definitely my favorite comedy, and on near-permanent rotation during my childhood. Tom Hanks was on the BBC’s “Friday Night with Jonathan Ross,” this past Friday, promoting “Angels & Demons.” Ross asked him some of the things people yell at him when they see him. Not surprisingly, he said he gets a lot of “Wilson!” some “Run Forest, Run” and “Houston, we have a problem.” And he admits that he gets asked to do the “Shimmy Shimmy Coco Pop” rap from “Big.” All of which he still remembers, 21 years later.

Tom also admitted the rap is random and nonsensical and has no meaning. It was something his son (presumably Colin, since he was Hanks’ only son born at the time) came home with from camp. They were looking for something to throw into the movie, and Hanks already knew the song so they went with it. I always wondered where in the world that came from. Now if only he would explain to me how he supposedly went from 13 to 30 overnight, but his underwear still fit the next morning, the great lingering questions of my childhood would all be answered.

I am constantly baffled as to why Heidi Montag keeps making music videos. Actually, to be fair, I am constantly baffled as to why she keeps making music. Or why she even exists. Really, everything from her wig to her implants baffles me. When I look at pictures of her, question marks pop into my eyes like in cartoons. It’s probably a dangerous condition. But, I put my life on the line for you, dear readers, and really for Heidi too. Because what would she be without our mockery? Just another overly-injected bleached slightly-animate mannequin running around Beverly Hills.

When Heidi and husband Spencer Pratt were in Cabo San Lucas for their honeymoon a few weeks ago, they did more than just don anti-swine flu masks on the beach. They also shot the video for Heidi’s latest single, “Blackout.” Sort of a working honeymoon, if you will. And considering the way Spencer likes to pimp out Heidi (Playboy, anyone?), “working honeymoon” is a very apt term.

Heidi Montag treats fans with a look at her cleavage as a music video for single “Black Out”, which features her dressing only in bikini, emerges. She is seen in the video moving provocatively while singing to the song and soaking up the sun on the beach.

“Black Out” is written by Cathy Dennis who has penned hit singles for Katy Perry and Britney Spears. It has been confirmed to be among the new materials in Heidi’s self-titled debut album “Heidi Montag” which may come out in either spring or summer.

[From Ace Showbiz]

I don’t know why Heidi insists on using such crappy filming techniques. It looks like it’s just Spencer following her around with a webcam. And considering he’s done some of her other videos, it’s not impossible. It’s all clearly so cheap. Not just in terms of tacky, but in the more traditional “I shot this video for under $200” sense. It’s grainy, poorly lit, and poorly shot. Heidi is clearly just improvising by doing half-assed stripper moves and rapidly swinging her head back and forth. Most of the time she looks like a dog shaking water off after a bath. I was watching closely to see if bits of her wig flew off from time to time.

The plot of the video, by the way? Heidi has a body. Let’s show it to you. She’s got some real creative brain power working for her.

Vice President Joe Biden’s daughter Ashley has plunged herself into some seriously hot water. The 27-year-old social worker has a “friend” (and I use that word loosely, because he’s one hell of a friend) who’s shopping around a video of Ashley snorting cocaine at a party. The video appears to be legal as the friend claims Ashley knew she was being taped.

He contacted two lawyers who are helping him sell the footage – originally demanding a whopping $2 million from the New York Post, which refused. They lowered the price to $400,000, but the Post still said no (no word on if that’s due to ethics or cost). They did, however, view the 90 seconds that appears to show Ashley snorting coke.

A “friend” of Vice President Joseph Biden’s daughter, Ashley, is attempting to hawk a videotape that he claims shows her snorting cocaine at a house party this month in Delaware. The anonymous male acquaintance of Ashley took the video, said Thomas Dunlap, a lawyer representing the seller. Dunlap and a man claiming to be a lawyer showed The Post about 90 seconds of 43-minute tape, saying it was legally obtained and that Ashley was aware she was being filmed. The Post refused to pay for the video.

The video, which the shooter initially hoped to sell for $2 million before scaling back his price to $400,000, shows a 20-something woman with light skin and long brown hair taking a red straw from her mouth, bending over a desk, inserting the straw into her nostril and snorting lines of white powder. She then stands up and begins talking with other people in the room. A young man looks on from behind her, facing the camera. The lawyers said he was Ashley’s boyfriend of a few years.

The camera follows the woman from a few feet away, focusing on her as she moves around the room. It appears not to be concealed. At one point she shouts, “Shut the f— up!” The woman appears to resemble Ashley Biden, 27, a social worker for a Delaware child-welfare agency and a visible presence during her father’s campaign for the White House. The dialogue is difficult to discern, but the woman makes repeated references to the drugs, said the lawyers, who said they viewed the tape about 15 times.

“At one point she pretty much complains that the line isn’t big enough,” said the second lawyer, who declined to identify himself. “And she talks about her dad.” Biden has been an outspoken crusader against drugs, coining the term “drug czar” in 1982 while campaigning for a more forceful “war on drugs.” The lawyers declined to name the person who shot the video, but said he knew Ashley well and had attended other parties with her at which there were illegal drugs.

[From the New York Post]

The lawyers say the woman talks about her dad, but from their phrasing it sounds like the Post didn’t see that part. So there’s no way to know what she says, and if it’s anything that identifies him as Joe Biden. Obviously the Post wasn’t able to verify for sure that the woman on the video is Ashley Biden, though they said she looks the same. It seems like they’re trying to put the story out there before someone else beats them to it, while still being cautious about saying it’s clearly Ashley.

If it is her, it’ll probably be a medium-level scandal. The adult daughter of the Vice President isn’t quite as salacious as the guy who took the video probably hoped. Given the nature of her job, she would probably be fired though. More than chastising her it makes me hope she gets some help.

Christina Aguilera looking like an Elvira/Jewel hybrid on the red carpet
MTV tried to mix it up and make their performances a different feel this year by filming at Paramount studios with a set that looked suspiciously like Sesame Street featuring a street view with apartment buildings and fire escapes. It seemed to work and did add interest to the acts.

Here are all the performances from the MTV 2008 VMAs, courtesy of MTV.com, where you can see more coverage of the VMAs. Some of them do have commercials.

Jonas Brothers do “Lovebug.” Doesn’t it look like Snuffalufagus is going to pop up on that stoop and say what a great job they did in that low “aw shucks” voice? They strike me as the type that Snuffy would love.

Katie Perry does “Like a Virgin.” No wonder Madonna didn’t show up last night. This is only a 26 second clip, but I think you get the point and you can see why MTV didn’t include a longer segment.

Katie Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl,” the end segment.

Leona Lewis does a brief introduction for Lil Wayne and T.Pain – “Don’t Get It/A Milli/Got Money”

Paramore’s “Misery Business”


Pink does “So What.” She really brings it.

The Ting Tings – “Shut Up and Let Me Go,” end segment.

T.I. does “Live Your Life” in a faux video style with a sexy model and shopping scenario:

Christina Aguilera’s new invention – “Then and Now” in which she premieres her goth futuristic look. Her voice sounds so processed and fake, but she puts on a good show and I like the new song.

LL Cool J does “California Love.” This is just a 40 second segment.

Short clip of Lupe Fiasco doing “Superstar.”

Kid Rock performs “Rock N Roll Jesus” and “All Summer Long”

A sharp-suited Kanye West does “Love Lockdown” to close out the show as fireworks go off in the background.

We all have days where we could really use a good laugh. But it seems like it’s rare that you’re stuck in one of those days and something truly laugh-worthy comes along. Well if today is your worst day ever, you’re in luck. Aside from it being your worst day ever. Heidi Montag’s newest video came out for her single, “Overdosin.” That’s right, Heidi doesn’t feel the need to conform and use the “g.”

A logical person would assume that Heidi’s videos would get slightly better over time. I’m not suggesting anything earth-shaking, but you’d think the situation would improve, not worsen, based on reaction and general mockery. Unfortunately Heidi Montag learning from her mistakes isn’t really possible – and this video is no exception.

Heidi Montag has debuted her new music video (above) for “Overdosin.’” The Hills star, 21, plays an ’80s aerobics instructor as she dances around in lycra, legwarmers and a sweatband.

The pop song, released last week, “is about when you fall in love with someone,” she recently told Ryan Seacrest. “[About] how I feel about Spencer and my relationship.”

When Seacrest asked if a wedding could possibly inspire her next single, she joked, “I’m waiting for the ring to make that song.”

Look for more from Montag and Pratt ahead, who have volunteered to take over the MTV reality hit next season if Lauren Conrad decides to step down.

“I think that maybe Lauren is tired of [being on the show], but we’re just beginning,” she told Seacrest. “We’re not even remotely sick of it.”

[From Us Weekly]

I won’t even comment on Heidi’s “singing.” Because that is not a human voice (and it’s not singing). Isn’t it funny how Heidi, Paris Hilton, and Nicole Richie all have the exact same voice when they break out into song? Perhaps its similar to how British people “lose” their accents when singing (at least to American ears). Maybe faux-blond socialites lose their real voices when singing. It must be something in the water at Fred Segal. And just as an aside, I am seriously bothered by Heidi’s mouth-to-chin ratio. They’re totally skewed.

The video is absolutely nauseating. Not just due to the cheesy costumes and ass shaking, but Heidi doesn’t even bother to sing along. She’s just opening and closing her mouth like a guppy fish, and Spencer probably added in the sound later on his Mac. I actually restarted my computer twice to make sure my video and sound cards weren’t messed up. Nope – it really is this awful, and it really is meant to look this way. Including the fat guy in lycra. Though to be fair, I was pretty sure my video card couldn’t have anything to do with that.

Here’s Heidi and Spencer at ‘The Hills’ Season 4 premiere party held at Paradise Cove in Malibu on August 18th. Images thanks to WENN.