The Hills reality star and plastic surgery aficionado Heidi Montag’s first music video premiered earlier this week and it was universally panned. It really was incredibly awful, and included shots of the plastic blond frolicking in the ocean in a clinging white garment, rolling in the sand, climbing on some rocks and opening her mouth wide to lipsynch while gesturing awkwardly. And that was just the visuals. The song was nearly intolerable and featured her god-awful remastered voice over a tune as cacophonous and unoriginal as Heidi herself.

People Magazine made a special post noting how overwhelmingly negative the comments were about Montag’s new video, which was filmed by her equally mocked on-screen fiancé, Spencer Pratt, and she handled it in stride. She said that it must take oh so much effort to criticize her, and while she tried to make a dig at all the anonymous people typing away behind computers screens by focusing on the work involved in writing whole sentences, she only managed to make herself sound dumb:

Although some PEOPLE.com readers called “Higher” the “worst video ever,” and said her voice sounds like a “chipmunk,” Montag recorded the following message on the gossip site PerezHilton.com:

“I appreciate people taking time to write any kind of comment. Do you know how much effort it really takes to sit down and write a comment? I’ve never written a comment in my entire life… you really have to have a lot of passion and thought to write any comment, so thank you.”

[From People.com]

Maybe Heidi is impaired by the fact that she doesn’t have a lot of experience with computers, but it really doesn’t take much effort or thought to write a comment if you’re a quick typer. If she came across as clever at all, I would think that she was trying to be sarcastic and say that the comments were effortless and reactive on the part of the people that criticized her, I know a lot of the work I do comes out that way, but no, I think she was trying to be serious. She’s trying to say that it takes work to write comments so at least we’re paying attention to her. We’re wasting our energy by doing that, Heidi is saying, but she’s only making it sound like typing and thinking don’t come easily for her.

The best part of this story is Spencer Pratt’s comment, and again I would think that he’s being obnoxious, but considering that he’s the one responsible for this atrocious video, we can probably take him at his word.

Heidi’s former fiancé Spencer Pratt, who shot the “Higher” video, had his own theory as to why it got the reaction it did.

“She’s so beautiful and she’s an unbelievable singer,” he says. “The quality of music and the music video has never been seen before.”

Here’s that video again, the likes of which “has never been seen before,” according to Pratt. Are they pulling our legs? Even if they’re not, they should save face and claim they were.

I knew there was a reason we’ve actively ignored “The Hills” reality star Heidi Montag and her preening TV “fiancé”, Spencer Pratt, up until now. They really are as hollow and superficial as they look.

Could this music video get any more cliche? It’s so bad I’m inclined to think it’s a joke.
Beach scene - check
Frolicking in the water in clinging white garment - check
Rolling around on the sand in bikini - check
Remastered vocals on top of generic pop song - check

This video makes Paris Hilton’s “Stars are Blind” look like a masterpiece.

Unsurprisingly, it’s directed by her ever-present fiancé/boyfriend, Spencer Pratt.

And here’s “behind the scenes” footage which just shows Spencer taping and isn’t worth watching. There is a moment near the end with a guy trying to fish while they’re taping who doesn’t even bother to glance at them:

Thanks to Us Weekly for linking this.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are shown at the Cloverfield premiere on 1/16/08, thanks to PRPhotos.

We did a post a little earlier today with Super Bowl XLII commercials featuring celebrities. Here are the “best” commercials, according to the ones I watched and influenced by AOL’s top ten list. The verdict is that they weren’t that great this year. When a talking baby is up near the top of the list you know you’re in trouble. You can watch all the Superbowl commercials at AOL or MySpace.

Bridgestone Squirrel

Budweiser Rocky

Doritos Mousetrap

Bud Lite - Breathe Fire

Fedex Super Bowl Ad: Carrier Pigeons Bad Choice for Shipping
NFL.com: “SuperAd”

E-Trade: Baby

Giant Parade Balloons fight over Coke
Pepsi - “Bob’s House” Completely silent pre-game Ad featuring ASL and based on an in-joke in the deaf community

In a clip from the upcoming PBS special, “African American Lives 2,” Chris Rock gets teary-eyed when he learns about one of his ancestors. Host Henry Louis Gates tells Rock that his great great grandfather was a former slave who voluntarily enlisted in the Civil War as a Union soldier. Rock’s great great grandfather on his mother’s side, Julius Tingman, must have been a dedicated solider as he was promoted from private to corporal within a few months. He lived from 1848 - 1917 and was married to Eliza Moultrie, who lived from 1850 - 1894. Rock’s great grandfather, James Tingman, was born in 1882.

I started crying when I saw this, it was really touching. Thanks to Shawn for sending me this clip, found at Newsradio 1290 WJNO. The show airs February 6 and 13 at 9 pm on PBS.

The British dude Britney is dating now seems like he’s predictably telling someone where to find them and setting up clear shots . Somehow CelebTV.com has two “exclusive” videos of Britney out with Adnan Ghalib, the photographer she hooked up with after she left the hospital, and it sounds like there’s just one photographer taking shots, which are sure to be worth a mint.

Ghalib was said to have tried to sell photos of Britney as well as his story of how they met for $5 million, but he has so far been unsuccessful. He will probably have much more luck making money with these latest exclusive photos and videos, which are set to air on Extra! tonight.

Britney out getting Starbucks with Adnan in Santa Barbara

Britney on a hotel balcony wearing a shirt and no pants, sharing a lollipop with Adnan

This guy seems like he’s using Britney, but do you think she cares? He’s giving her some much-needed attention and she often tips of paparazzi as to her whereabouts. It’s not like she’s trying too hard to hide out if she’s out getting Starbucks and leaving the curtains to her room open. If Ghalib is being kind her to and hanging out with her that’s probably all that matters to Britney. It’s likely she’s aware that he tipped at least one photographer off on where to find them and maybe he’s even giving her a cut of the profits. At least these videos show that she’s doing relatively ok.

The Sun today reports that Ghalib is a smooth talking Englishman who was raised in a family of practicing Muslims near Birmingham. He left the UK over ten years ago to pursue a career in the states. Ghalib is married but is said to be currently separated from his wife.

Britney has so far rejected pleas by her family to get treatment in a mental health facility, which is thought to be her only chance of regaining custody rights for her children. It could be true that she tested negative for illegal drugs as Life and Style originally reported. People confirms that her drug test came back negative.

via ONTD.

Unlike the Funny or Die videos, which have a point and are usually actually funny, this Christmas video from Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore isn’t funny or even mildly amusing. In fact I just watched the whole Alvin and The Chipmunks movie with my kid and found that drivel easier to sit through than five minutes of this annoying video. This movie includes a lot of swearing that isn’t necessary or well placed, there’s a gratuitous sex scene with Ashton and Demi, and the entire plot, loosely based on the writer’s strike with a Christmas theme, makes no sense.

So Santa has to take a temp job when the elves strike, hits bottom after the death of frosty the snowman, writes a screenplay and then is on top again? It makes no sense and when you factor in Ashton’s obnoxious acting it’s just painful to sit through.

This is coming from the guy who brought us Punk’d, which had its moments, so you would expect him to be able to create a short clip for the web that’s worth the time it takes to watch it. This reminds us why the real writers need to get paid. Maybe that’s why Demi and Ashton made this video, to remind us that we’re in for months of completely worthless junk like this if the WGA doesn’t get a fair deal.

InTouch has a nearly five minute video interview with Angelina Jolie’s adopted daughter Zahara’s grandmother, Mentewab Dawit Lebisoin, in Ethiopia. (The video is shown below.) During the interview Lebisoin’s voice is quiet and her mood is somber, she seems sad and deeply affected by the decision to give Zahara up for adoption. She speaks softly through an interpretor, saying that her daughter, Zahara’s mother, was alive when Zahara was given up for adoption and that she never claimed she was dead and clearly told the adoption agency that Zahara’s mother ran away. Zahara’s mother left her, Lebisoin says, because she was poor and unable to care for the baby. Although she doesn’t mention it in the interview shown, Zahara’s mother was also said to have been the victim of rape, which resulted in the pregnancy.

Lebisoin shows a photo on a laptop of her grinning daughter holding a large picture of Zahara as a baby in a carrier with Angelina Jolie. Zahara’s grandmother says she never met Angelina and that Angelina never came to see any of Zahara’s extended family when the journalist asks her about it. She says that journalists came to see her after Zahara was adopted, though.

At the end of the tape the reporter asks Lebisoin if she has ever received a letter or any correspondence from Angelina and it looks like she nods her head while she’s responding, but that’s when the tape cuts off. It seems like In Touch wants us to buy the magazine to see what she said and if she has received any word from Angelina.

There was speculation that Zahara’s mother would half-heartedly try to ask for custody of the toddler, who will turn three in January. The Jolie-Pitts have squashed all of those rumors, and say that Zahara’s adoption is “legal and irreversible.”

Lebision’s statement that her daughter is alive and that she never claimed that she was deceased contradicts earlier reports that have her bringing three different relatives to court to testify that her daughter was dead in order to secure Zahara’s adoption. In Touch reports that the adoption agency is now asking for a police investigation to see if Lebision is telling the truth.

Here’s the video, thanks to InTouch:

Zahara is shown eating an ice cream while going on a horse and carriage ride in NY with Brad Pitt on 8/29/07, thanks to Splash News.

Extreme mullet-wearing Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman went on Hannity and Colmes on the Fox Channel last night to beg in his idiotic drug-addled logic for forgiveness for his racist tirade over the phone. It sounds like he saysh e was using the “n” word as “a brother to brother” despite the fact that he was using it to tell his son not to date a black woman.

This tearful confession made me lol several times, particularly when Chapman said that he thought he was able to “refer to them truly as a brother from a different mother”

I thought that I was cool enough in the black world to be able to use that word, as a brother to a brother. I’m not… I never realized that that’s like stabbing a black person in the heart. I would never do that to any kind of person. I’ve always taken pride to be the white guy that can talk to the black people, that can refer to them truly as a brother from a different mother (voice breaks)…

and I used to say ‘I’m Black Too,” my whole life I’ve been called a half breed, a convict, king of the trailer trash, this and that, I take that stand so when I stood there and said, ‘I kind of know what you feel like, cause I’ve been there too, that I felt like that I could embrace and as brothers, even as black women say the word…”

This is one of the hardest lessons ever I’ve learned in my life, even facing death. If I could kill myself and people would forgive me, I would do that. There’s no excuse. I’m guilty and I will take my punishment, but the end of what I said is that I will do everything that is in my power to make sure people have forgiven me.

Hannity: How old is this conversation?

This conversation was done in March, so eight months old.

Hannity: And how much did they pay your son for this

Well, I think they gave him $15,000 that the alleged rumor.

[Transcribed from the highlight video available on TMZ of Chapman's appearance on Hannity and Combs last night on Fox]

While it’s not funny that the guy says he would kill himself for forgiveness, you can tell by the way he’s wording his statements that he’s not going to shed his coat of slimy racism unless he undergoes serious therapy. He said “I would never do that to any kind of person” and he calls black people “them.” He also seems to gloss over the pain he caused others and to focus on how he’s feeling and how he wants forgiveness.

Here’s the video, thanks to TMZ:

And in case there was even a glimmer of hope for Dog’s career as a reality show star, The Enquirer has a story with quotes from many of his friends, family and past wives attesting to what a racist bastard he is. Plus there could be an upcoming story in the November 20th issue of the Enquirer stating that Dog is a current crack addict who is spending 2k a month on drugs. A commentor on TMZ posted the story, so I can’t yet verify it, but they supposedly interviewed his former dealer, who passed a lie detector test. I will have to verify if the story exists and update this post once more is known. The comment also contains a link to a site declaring Andrew Luster, the guy Chapman was arrested for capturing in Mexico, innocent, so it’s up to question, although the wording does sound exactly like The Enquirer.

Before this scandal came to light we posted a story from the Enquirer about Dog’s stepdaughter claiming that she used to get cocaine and hookers for him and that he pimped her out to pay a drug debt in the 90s. It could be true that someone is claiming he’s still doing crack, and it certainly seems plausible.

Thanks to reader Shawn for the tip.

Update: The story about Dog the Bounty Hunter currently being addicted to crack did not appear in the National Enquirer, and was a fabrication.

TMZ has the video of Paris Hilton in a skeleton costume at that adult video store in Toronto telling befuddled management that she wants the posters advertising her “One Night in Paris” sex tape removed. JayBird reported on this on Monday, and store owners said at the time they were working out deals to sell the footage.

Initial reports just said that Paris demanded that the posters be removed, but TMZ hyped it when they released this clip, saying “Paris goes postal.” It’s more like “Paris gets mildly pissed,” because her flat affect barely registers the ripples from her supposed anger at seeing her face in a porn store. Toward the end of the clip you can hear her yelling “I want it now” from off camera but if you pay attention to how she sounds rather than what she’s saying it’s more like she’s annoyed because someone put turkey on her salad when she asked for chicken.

Here’s what Paris says in the tape below. There are two guys working behind the counter, and while you can hear Paris clearly it’s hard to tell what they’re saying. One of them seems like he’s calling their boss and saying “Paris Hilton, yes that was…”

Paris says clearly and firmly, but without her voice breaking or getting too loud:

You can’t use my image in a porn store
Want me to call my lawyer and sue the shit out of this place if you don’t take them down?

I really want them down, because they’re mean and this is not right. I’m really furious. This is disgusting. And I want the other one, now, or I’m calling the f’ing cops.

[Transcribed from the video available at TMZ]

I kind of admire a girl who can get so angry she rips stuff off the wall without really screaming or breaking a sweat. It seems like not being able to express extreme emotion should be a disadvantage for someone who aspires to some sort of B-movie career, but Paris makes it work. She flits all over the place, showing up at events and openings several times a week, always looking calm and composed. It’s only when she’s really upset that her milktoast voice betrays her. She has to resort to breaking stuff to get her point across, because when Paris said “I’m hurt bad,” it’s hard to tell if she broke a nail or a toe.

Thanks to TMZ for this video of the incident. Paris just kind of wanders around, rooting through her purse and trying to muster up courage until about one minute in.

Header image is thanks to PR Photos.

I was looking through YouTube for videos to show my three year-old son and I found some goodies from Sesame Street that brought back a lot of memories for me. My son loved them too, especially the pinball machine counting cartoon, below.

There’s something so great about finding clips of shows you used to watch as a kid and haven’t seen in 20 years. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside to see them again.

A few months ago we covered celebrities and musician appearances on Sesame Street in a fun post that included videos of guests Robert DeNiro, Julie Andrews, Johnny Cash, and Stevie Wonder. Here are some of the cartoons and skits that will be familiar to 30-somethings like me who watched this excellent PBS kids staple.

Pinball counting cartoon

The Alligator King

Fat Cat Sat Hat

The Ladybug Picnic

Orange sings Carmen

And this is the Muppets, not Sesame Street, but I love this one, it’s the little fuzzy creatures doing “Witch Doctor”