I watched this whole worthless video of Mariah Carey talking to these two teenaged high school students in Aspen. She talks about her rebellious younger brother and it seems like the whole rambling point of the conversation is to figure out where to get her brother some clothes as a gift. She tells them she stopped school in the eigth grade, but she was like, advanced, to get into eigth grade as a 12 year old. She also says she’ll record songs with their names in them, especially since one of the teens has the same name as her hairdresser.

They tell her where to go in town and she relates to them very well, which is quite a testament to her maturity. One guy name drops his girlfriend, probably to keep drunk Mariah in check.

In the middle of the video the guys are talking about themselves and Mariah abruptly changes the subject, asking a woman who’s either her friend or the help “How many websites does my dog have? My dog?”

“23 maybe,” the woman answers. She then talks about her dog losing an online poll to Miss Piggy or some shit.

One of the guys says he could win at those million dollar trivia gameshows because he knows all the answers, and Mariah is like “I don’t” and the guy says “you’re already rich,” but she says something about not being that rich. At the end she tries to convince one of the guys to give her his gloves.

Mariah is off the charts on that narcissism scale, and now I know she has yet to complete junior high.

Don’t waste your time. Mariah is tipsy talking to teens, that’s the basic idea.

Thanks to NinjaDude for finding this and Fark for linking it.

Splash News took this video of Lindsay Lohan walking out of the hospital the day after her supposed appendix surgery. TMZ posted the video and they say it’s a miracle that’s she walking and didn’t she heal quickly? She looks like she’s walking fine to me and doesn’t walk gingerly or anything. People are going to say it brings her story into doubt, and that she had some other reason for going into the hospital.

Word is that Lohan hasn’t attended an AA meeting since the beginning of December and that she’s been drinking vodka out of water bottles to make it look like she’s staying sober. All these rumors about Lohan coupled with her trying to hide as she nonchalantly strolled out of the hospital make it seem like she needed a medical intervention for some other reason.

My aunt had her appendix removed recently, and she was kept in the hospital for two days. She says she could walk the next day, but wasn’t as steady on her feet as Lindsay seems in this video. She wasn’t 20 at the time, though, so who knows about Lindsay?

Update: commentors on Oh No They Didn’t! are saying that if Lohan had a less invasive form of appendectomy she could be out walking in a day without a problem. It’s easy to believe the worst about her given her history.

Will Smith got his start rapping in the late 80s as part of the rap duo DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince. He launched his acting career in the early 90s sitcom The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Smith’s last album was his 2005 solo work “Lost and Found” with the hit single “Switch.”

He’s now a big box office star and is moving on. Smith suggest he may close the door on his music career and tells Star Magazine that he’s passing the torch to his 17 year-old nephew:

Q: Are we ever going to hear you rap again?
I have a 17 year-old nephew who just started rapping, and he told me it’s time to hang it up. He’ll take it for the family from here.

[From Star Magazine print edition, January 8, 2007]

Smith doesn’t explicitly say that he’ll never rap again, just that his nephew told him not to, so maybe he’ll just take a break for a while and come back.

I remember my friends and I reciting all the lyrics to “Parents Just Don’t Understand.” Here’s the video:

And here’s his last hit single, Switch:

Smith is a talented rapper and I love his pop hip hop style. It seems to me like he’ll get back to music after a break like most other musicians that say they’re finished. I know Jay-Z’s retirement didn’t last long.

Smith currently stars in The Pursuit of Happyness with his son, Jaden.

They must not have made a lot of progress on The Simpson’s Movie, because this second trailer for the film is just like the first one with a stupid throwaway introduction of Mel narrating while a bunny hops around. The new part at the end is not that promising, and just shows Bart and Homer working on the roof while Homer hurts himself. Hysterical.

The old trailer was equally dumb, with a clip of Homer getting stuck between a rock and a hard place. It doesn’t matter what crap they put out, though, this movie will be wildly popular and I know I’ll go to see it.

Donald Trump gave a nasty interview before the holidays about his feud with Rosie O’Donnell in which he personally attacked her for personally attacking him on The View over the Miss USA debacle. He said that she’s fat, that he’d send someone to steal her girlfriend, and that her popular 90s talkshow failed.

Commentors note that he likes his women submissive, and that he wouldn’t put down a male enemy by calling him fat like he did Rosie.

Now he gets pissy all of a sudden when Meredith Viera asks him about Rosie. He’s the one who decided to start a big fight with her, and now he’s all upset that someone asked him about it. What an asshole.

Trump also claimed that Barbara Walters doesn’t like Rosie and wants her off The View. Walters has denied that, and says that she doesn’t regret hiring her, but Trump gave yet another interview saying he’s right that they have a bad relationship, making his latest tirade that more ridiculous.

I don’t think those two are good friends though, because Walters’ body language seems to show that she’s annoyed with Rosie in some of the clips I’ve seen of them together on the show. In case you care, Walters has returned from vacation and is now back on the stupid talkshow, which I would never talk about if there wasn’t some controversy involved. It seems like they’ve got a good formula going to get publicity.

Thanks to TMZ for posting this.

Oceans 12 was kind of a mess plot-wise, but the dialogue was good and the actors are so great you forget that films are supposed to make more sense. I would watch Clooney, Pitt and Damon sit around talking about anything. Throw in cool music and some heist scenes and I’m there.

Oceans 13 is scheduled for release on June 8, 2007:

The folks at JibJab offer their Year in Review animation. Celebrity news takes equal billing with world affairs, and the result is a cute look back at 2006.

James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, died in an Atlanta hospital on Christmas morning at the age of 73. He died of heart failure brought on by pneumonia. Brown had diabetes and also suffered from prostate cancer which was in remission.

His death was unexpected and he was scheduled to play in BB King’s Blues Club in NY this New Years. Until he took a turn for the worse, his doctor told him he could make the performance. He was accompanied at the hospital by his close friend, Charles Bobbit.

Mr. Copsidas [Brown's rep] told The Associated Press that doctors do not know what caused the pneumonia, only that Mr. Brown’s illness was discovered by his dentist during a recent appointment in Atlanta. Mr. Brown had diabetes, and he also had prostate cancer that was in remission, Mr. Bobbit said.

Mr. Brown initially seemed to be fine when he was in the hospital and had even told people that he planned to be back on stage for the New Year’s Eve performance, Mr. Copsidas said.

Mr. Bobbit said Mr. Brown grew progressively worse as time passed.

“He had a cold and cough for some time, but he started coughing bad in the last few days,” Mr. Bobbit said.

He added, “The doctor we spoke to that was treating him said we could not do the first couple of shows but that there was a possibility if he got much better and could handle it we could be at B.B. King’s for the New Year’s Eve show,” Mr. Bobbit said.

Brown was from Augusta, Georgia and is known for his good works in his hometown. He gave out Turkeys every Thanksgiving and was just at his 15th annual Christmas present giveaway last Friday. The mayor expressed shock that he had passed away as he seemed fine during the charity event.

James Brown had 98 hits on the R&B top 40 singles chart, well more than any other artist. His career spans five decades and his unique hip-swaying funk style has influenced music of all genres. In the late 80s, hip hop artists started sampling James Brown and his work was seminal in early rap hits like Eric B and Rakim’s “I Know you Got Soul,” and Kid ‘n Play’s “Rolling with Kid ‘n Play.” James Brown was sampled extensively on the Public Enemy album “It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back.”

Many funk stars including Bootsy Collins and Maceo Parker got their start in Brown’s band.

Unfortunately Brown’s reputation as a humanitarian and the hardest working man in showbusiness is overshadowed by his personal problems. As a troubled orphan, he spent three years in a juvenile correctional home after he was caught stealing clothes out of cars at the young age of 15. He later served two years in prison out of a six year sentence when he was convicted of beating his wife with a pipe and shooting at her car in 1988. He took police on a two state car chase in September, 1988, and was charged with carrying an unlicensed weapon and assaulting an officer.

In death Brown is no less controversial. His lawyer and accountant are said to have instructed his security staff to padlock the gate on his Beech Island, South Carolina mansion, barring his widow, Tomi Rae Brown from entering. Tomi’s name is not on the deed to the home, and she says she has no money and nowhere else to go. She claims that Brown’s lawyer and accountant have “been robbing from him all of his life and they’ll do it in death.” Tomi Rae, a backup singer, is Brown’s fourth wife and is the mother of their five year-old son. Brown has three six children from his prior marriages.

While Brown is said to have passed at the age of 73, some people believe he is older. His real age is unknown as he was not born in a hospital and was raised by his aunt in a Georgia brothel after his mother died in childbrith.

Here’s a segment of Brown singing “A Man’s World”

A compilation of his performances:

And his most recognized song, “I Feel Good”

I was playing James Brown’s music while writing this post and my two year old song was dancing and smiling. RIP James Brown, your work will influence countless generations of musicians.

Pictures from the Augusta Chronicle.

I stepped away from the computer to spend an inordinate amount of time travelling and returned to find another semi-scandal on The View over Rosie’s big mouth. Rosie took the opportunity to cut down and mock Donald Trump after he granted clemency to Miss USA Tara Conner. It seems like the continuation of a long-standing grudge she’s had with the real estate mogul and reality TV star. Rosie said that The Donald wasn’t one to judge anyone’s morals considering that he’s traded in two wives for younger models.

Trump wasted no time issuing a response in which he pointed out repeatedly how fat and disgusting Rosie is, and noted that she’s had it out for him since he publically talked about her failed talk show and magazine. Trump says he’s considering sue her, most likely over her claims that he’s not a self-made man and that he’s a “snake oil salesman.” He said that she’s pretty lucky to have such a hot girlfriend and that he’d send someone over to snatch her away from Rosie.

He had a point with the disgusting thing, but the debate is edging to the lowest common denominator now that both of these clowns are threatening each other. Sure Rosie is heavy, but it’s lame to make someone’s weight the center of your argument. He should have stuck to the facts and not made himself look just as bad by putting her down and saying he’s going to snatch her partner.

Trump also claims that Barbara Walters dislikes Rosie, and recommends that she fire her. I don’t think Rosie’s going to get the boot from The View any time soon. Ratings are up since she joined since everyone is watching to see what crazy shit she’ll spew next.

Here’s Trump’s rebutal to Rosie:

And here’s her response to his response. All she does is point out her girlfriend in the audience and sneer.
It would be nice if this shit would end here, but we’ll be hearing about it well into next year.

Thanks to Best Week Ever for linking these videos.

They’re probably frantically editing this movie, which would explain why the trailer seems kind of played out, but I’ll go see it definitely. There might even be a little green baby. Shrek the Third will be out next summer.