Perez Hilton claims to have an exclusive that Kelly Osbourne pissed off her entire family by marrying a guy she’s only known for one week. What’s worse is that the two were married at an Irish rock festival in a blow-up castle!

If this is actually true, how long will it take until they get it annulled? I give it a full 4-6 weeks, because Kelly seems a lot more mature now.

Update Thanks to pinklumpysugar on Lime-Light.org for alerting me to the fact that fake weddings are part of the Electric Picnic music ceremony in Ireland, and that Kelly’s wedding was just for laughs:

Update And thanks to Sky.co.uk for these photos post-ceremony, and confirmation that it was indeed a gag. Kelly’s boyfriend is Matt Derham of The Field. I’ve never heard of him, either:

Here are some pictures from X17 online of Kelly kicking a ball on the beach in early August. She looks like she’s so ready to be a wife and mother. In fact she looks like she’s had a couple kids already. You go Kelly!

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock were married for like the fourth time in Nashville on 8/18 and had a subdued, low-key reception as you can see here. Pam is feeding the judge who married them some cake or something in a very suggestive pose. That’s nasty! Kid Rock and fellow paunchy party-goer Hank Williams Jr. (Thanks, uh, reader!) took off their shirts but managed to put their hats back on. A bald spot is embarassing while a beer gut is something to be proud of. I really hope Anderson is a little paunchy herself and isn’t pregnant. I don’t think she’s equipped to raise a baby right now.

Pictures [via]

Beyonce, 24, is reportedly planning to marry her boyfriend, Def Jam president Jay-Z, 36, in a lavish ceremony on the Island of Anguilla this November. Star reports that the reception has a $3 million price tag and that it will include $300,000 worth of caviar alone. There won’t be any Cristal at this bash:

That’s nice that Beyonce’s father has given his blessing as she was said to have some trouble getting out from under his thumb and running her own career and life.

This isn’t the first time that we’ve heard rumors that these two were getting married. Back in early June Jay-Z lost weight on a high-protein diet sponsored by Beyonce. People speculated that his weight loss was a sign that he was preparing to marry the pop singer.

In late June it was rumored that Beyonce and Jay-Z were spending too much time apart and that they were breaking up, but that was only reported by a single source and the couple has been spotted out and about many times since. They even performed together at Radio City Music Hall.

Beyonce recently revealed that she has a sexy dress she puts on whenever she needs to seduce her man. She even wrote a song about it called “Freakum Dress” that will be on her new album.

Pictures of Beyonce in performance and in September’s Essence magazine are after the jump.
(Read more…)

Along with probably jumping the gun on the Victoria Beckham pregnancy news, Britain’s Daily Star also claims to have an exclusive that Kate Moss, 32, and Pete Doherty, 27, are planning a semi-secret wedding in Ibiza this weekend:

This isn’t the first time Pete has bragged that he’s planning on marrying Kate Moss. Back in early April he told fellow revellers at an Austrian porn club that he and Kate had plans to marry in Scotland this fall. Their relationship fell apart afterwards, and those plans may have been real, or they might have been the meaningless ramblings of a drug addict.

It’s entirely possible that The Daily Star made this news up or that Pete is just talking out of his ass and this will never happen. Kate has been spotted with an engagement ring on her finger, though. Her friends deny that she’s engaged and say it’s her own ring.

If they do get married, I give it less time than Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney’s marriage. They’ve been reunited this third time, what, a week?

Engagement ring picture from PopSugar.

The PopBitch e-mail newsletter claims that Tom Cruise is scoping out Neverland ranch and may possibly purchase the freaky estate from heavily in debt Michael Jackson:

Cruise has to know that this would be an incredibly stupid move. It doesn’t matter how nice the property, zoo, and amusement park are. It would tie him to weirdo Michael Jackson and the press would have a field day.

The newsletter goes on to say that Suri might just have a big birthmark and that could be the reason why she’s been shielded from view:

That’s possible, and a very clever excuse if Tom’s camp made it up. Why has nary a bundle, car seat or covered up little baby been seen though? I don’t buy it!

Meanwhile there are preparations underway at the Celebrity Scientology Center for what Pink is the New Blog speculates could be Suri’s unvieling or Tom and Katie’s wedding.

Rebels-Rebels had these pictures of the chandelier and tents covering the compound, and Mollygood has an eyewitness report that they seem to be gearing up for something.

DListed says that there’s a “37th Gala Event” on August 5th though, which just means they’re having some sort of Scientology party.

Tom Cruise has supposedly agreed on a fall wedding to seal his suspicious relationship with young Katie Holmes. No one quite believes that their changeling baby exists, even if there’s one prominent actress who’s willing to vouch for it. (Why didn’t Will Smith speak up too, huh?) So announcing a vague official date for their sham nuptuals should stem the rumors that they don’t really have a baby and their relationship is contractual, right?

There’s also a rumor that “hollywood insiders” are “scratching their heads” over Suri’s nonappearance and that Tom and Katie are fighting over how to introduce the fictional infant to the public. Someone read the blogs and made this shit up, because there’s no baby to show or relationship to lose:

The only reason Tom and Katie will get married at this point is to try and salvage Tom’s tanking career. I don’t buy any of the weird shit surrounding their relationship or supposed baby. Where’s the baby carriage, where’s a baby seat, where’s a carrier? They need to work harder to cover their deep, meandering tracks.

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock got married in the first of the four weddings they’re planning. They were wed on a yacht on Saturday in Saint Tropez, France. Pam wore a white bikini and captain’s cap, and Kid Rock looked even less presentable shirtless in jeans and a fedora.

These two are not going to last three months.

Like Eminem, Kid Rock reveals his misogynistic personality in his lyrics. Here’s a preview of what these two did on their wedding night: (Warning, this is freaking gross.)

Sorry for that, I could not resist posting those lyrics.

Here are Pam Anderson and Kid Rock on their wedding day. The woman got married to two different guys, wearing a bikini each time. So classy. [via]

Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley are on their honeymoon in Portofino, Italy. Avril and Deryck were married in a fairytale wedding on a private estate in Montecito, CA on July 15th, 2006.

Avril has been rumored to be pregnant, with bloggers like us gleefully pointing out her tiny stomach bump. She’s seen drinking wine in these candids, though, making it unlikely that she’s with child.

Avril and Deryck enjoyed jet-skiing, sightseeing and some private cuddle time on a yacht. Their honeymoon hasn’t all been casual fun. They were seen dressed up to attend a party.

Thanks to ALavigne.com.br for these pictures

Fresh on the heels of getting caught wanking a 58 year-old pot-bellied dude in a park, it was said that George Michael and his longterm partner, American Kenny Goss, have called off their planned gay wedding. The wedding was to take place around their tenth anniversary, sometime before the end of the Summer.

After the photos came out in Britain’s News of the World of a disheleved and surprised Michael and his one-time hookup, umemployed Norman Kirtland, Michael’s partner defended him, saying that they were putting the incident behind them:

Reports had the two cancelling their planned wedding, saying that they are “reassessing their relationship,” but another story has Micheal insisting the wedding is still on, and making it obvious why hot Goss has stayed with his cheating ass:

Why do people always think an expensive gift will set matters right after they cheat? Probably because it works with their sad, unfulfilled money-grubbing partners. (Kobe, Beckham)

Michael has been embroiled in scandal for several months, after being caught with pot and poppers in his car back in March, and photographed passed out at a stoplight in May. He’ll need to get treatment for his sex and drug addiction if he wants to “pull off” a gruelling 50-date tour.

Kid Rock was temporarily placed in jail in Switzerland after a man was injured in a fight in his hotel room. It is assumed that he was involved:

I live in Switzerland, and am continually amazed at how clean and well run everything is. The public pool near my house is nice enough for a four star resort, and I was at a rest stop by a clear lake with views of the alps last week. If Kid Rock was in jail, it was probably clean and totally adequate, if not comfortable.

Meanwhile Rock is engaged to buxom has-been Pamela Anderson, and there’s a pretty believable rumor that they may get married next weekend:

They are said to be planning a medium-sized wedding with 50-100 of their friends. I read on a bulletin board that they were already married, but I haven’t seen that news anywhere else and don’t think it’s true.

Here is Pam Anderson on the beach in St. Tropez, because who really wants to look at pictures of Kid Rock? [via] It must be hard to find a colorist in the south of France. Kid Rock and Anderson are also shown at random older events.