The newest issue of my favorite gossip rag, The National Enquirer, has an amusing story claiming that Paris Hilton has quit smoking pot because she was eating too much when she was high. They say that “Paris gets stoned all the time” and eats like crazy. She supposedly started noticing that her clothes were tight and decided that she needed to give up the herb if she didn’t want to buy a new wardrobe. Maybe she also got sick of people calling her pregnant after she had a pot-induced meal:

[Paris Hilton] became concerned recently because her clothes have been growing tight and she knew she was gaining weight. But it didn’t take her long to figure out why - Paris smokes a lot of dope and gets the munchies!

So now she’s decided to throw away the pipe to avoid the munchies and get back to her ideal weight, The Enquirer has learned exclusively.

“Paris gets stoned all the time!” said the source. “She will go to the bathroom to smoke at different Hollywood clubs, or sometimes she’ll just light up in the VIP area…

Paris showed up at a small house party once complaining that she ate a huge bag of chips before the party because she was stoned.”

And a Hollywood source told The Enquirer that when Paris couldn’t get into certain dresses she loved recently, she decided to give up smoking dope.

“That was it for Paris,” said the source. “She said the munchies were making her eat too much and she couldn’t believe how much weight she had gained.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, June 30, 2008]

In an interview in June of last year after she got out of jail, Paris told Larry King that she’s never even tried drugs despite the vast photographic evidence to the contrary. She also said she’s had ADD her entire life and that she’s been on medication for it since she was young. One of the side effects of the common ADHD drug Adderall is weight loss as it acts as a stimulant and suppresses the appetite. If Paris has quit smoking pot, she’s probably back to eating like the bird face that she is.

In related news, Paris Hilton’s pitch line on the website for her new line of hair extensions is “Everyone should get a chance to be me. That’s why I created the world’s hottest hair extensions. Choose from 10 fabulous shades and you will be a clip away from hotness.” She’s truly delusional if she thinks that people emulate her enough to spend $79 on fake hair. [via BellaSugar]

Here are photos of Paris smoking pot, and a link to The Smoking Gun’s compilation of her references to various drugs unearthed in the videos found in her storage locker and made public on “Paris Exposed.” The contents of her purse were also photographed in October, 2006 and a bag of what looked like pot was visible.

Oprah Winfrey – who we’re supposed to believe blogs – wrote on her website that she’s undergoing a 21-day vegan cleansing diet. And by that, I mean Oprah’s assistant’s assistant typed it up really quickly. Oprah, 54, regained a lot of weight recently, and she disclosed that she’s been suffering from hypothyroidism. She’s now determined to lose the weight and change her eating habits again – and is going totally meatless.

Wow, wow, wow! I never imagined meatless meals could be so satisfying.” she writes. “I had been focused on what I had to give up — sugar, gluten, alcohol, meat, chicken, fish, eggs, cheese. ‘What’s left?’ I thought. Apparently a lot. I can honestly say every meal was a surprise and a delight, beginning with breakfast — strawberry rhubarb wheat-free crepes.”

Inspired by Kathy Freston’s book Quantum Wellness, Winfrey says, “this 21-day cleanse gives me a chance to think about [eating] differently and see what my attachments are to certain kinds of foods – and what I’m willing to do to change.”

Her new menu — created by Freston’s own chef Tal Ronnen — features food like tofu scramble roasted tomato, grilled onion and sweet garlic aioli quesadillas with jicama slaw. She plans to blog her the entire dieting process. “Don’t know if I’m going to feel better or worse,” Winfrey writes, “but I’m willing to try to see if my body at least feels differently.”

[From Us Weekly]

Something tells me most people could happily go meatless if they had a professional chef to do all the fancy cooking for them. My vegetarian roommate made a whole wheat tofu pizza the other night and my tongue actually tried to run away from the rest of my body. If I had anything involving the word aioli, jicama, or crepes, I’m pretty sure I could manage. As it is I’m low carb, which means I had four slices of bacon and an Atkins shake for dinner. I would gladly eat Oprah’s vegan quesadilla every day of my life if I never have to repeat that meal again.

Oprah is talking about her diet like it’s this big deal – but her meal plan sounds better than what most of us probably slap together. How much of a sacrifice could it really be? And if it is – wasn’t her whole thing about eating reasonably, in a way that you can maintain? From the way she’s wording it, it doesn’t sound like she plans on going a day beyond the requisite three weeks on this diet. Not that I’m one to judge. I’m eating pork rinds as I write this.

It’s hard to bash U.K. singer Lily Allen because the poor girl has been having a rough time of it lately. First, Allen was diagnosed with a heart condition that scared her enough to seek help in curbing her unhealthy eating and partying habits. The program of hypnosis, exercise and a healthy diet helped the star drop two dress sizes, and at the time, she said she had never been happier. When she and her boyfriend of only a few months, Chemical Brothers band member Ed Simons, announced that they were expecting, Lily was ecstatic about it but just a few weeks later, she suffered a miscarriage, which was quickly followed by a breakup with Simons. Since then, Lily has been seeking treatment for depression. As you might expect, all these life changes, along with the stress and hectic schedule of her TV show, have caused Lily to gain back most of the weight she lost last year.

The 22-year-old has blamed the stress of filming her BBC3 television show Lily Allen and Friends for her weight gain, and has vowed to resume her healthy lifestyle.

In recent times the newly blonde star has attempted to keep her curves hidden in baggy clothes and shapeless dresses.

She told Grazia: “I don’t look great at all. I’ve put on so much weight with all the stress of my TV show. I’m glad it’s over.”

“Now the show is over I am sure I will lose some weight, just naturally as well as exercising in the gym twice a week.”

“I hate fat tummies so I hope it goes by summer.”

Last year Lily shed 19lbs, saying the weight came off when she was told the “scary” news that she had the heart condition.

She said at the time: “I used to love nothing more than sitting in front of the telly with two packets of Ginger Nuts and two bags of milk bottle sweets - and I’d devour the lot.

“But this heart thing has made me cut back on all that kind of crap.

“I now find that, because I am looking after myself, I don’t feel like eating the bad stuff so much.”

Lily let her good habits slip after a miserable start to this year - she split from her Chemical Brothers boyfriend Ed Simons in January, not long after she suffered a miscarriage.

Despite opening to mixed reviews and disappointing ratings figures, Lily’s chat show has been signed on for a second series.

[From The Daily Mail]

I haven’t seen her TV show, since we don’t get it here in the U.S., but from what I understand, it’s pretty lowbrow in content. But Lily is talented and popular, so it makes sense that the show would be renewed based on her star power alone. Still, I can’t help but think that the best way for Lily to come to terms with the drama she’s faced over the past six months is to head back to the recording studio and start putting all these events into music. That might be more therapeutic for her than sessions with a shrink or emotional eating. Plus, she’d have something to show for it other than baggy clothes. Believe me- I speak from experience on this one!

Note by Celebitchy: I’ve seen a clip from Lilly’s show in which she had the Chocolate Rain guy, Tay Zonday, on along with Oscar winner Cuba Gooding Jr. It did seem super lame:

Lilly Allen is shown on 4/9/08, thanks to WENN. She doesn’t look bad to me at all and I think the Daily Mail is just using schlumpy pictures of her. She did look better with brown hair, though.

The National Enquirer has a cover story this week claiming that the ubiquitous talk show host weighs 246 pounds. There’s some debate over whether that number is accurate and whether the Enquirer Photoshopped Oprah to look fatter on the cover, but you can see that she’s gained weight recently.

Their back story has her eating fried food while on the road with Obama and drowning her sorrows in carbs after Stedman broke up with her. Stedman supposedly told Oprah that he’s never really loved her and has always thought of her as a friend. That’s probably all made up, but we’re not above printing it:

“Oprah and Stedman had a late night heart-to-heart talk a few months ago and Stedman admitted that their long romance has been a sham,” said a longtime friend.

“The could had been in counseling, and during one of the sessions Oprah admitted that she was falling out of love with Stedman. But she wanted to give it another chance - so Stedman hung in there.”

“But in the end, it was Stedman who made a heartbreaking confession: He never really loved her.

“Stedman kept hoping their friendship would turn to love, but it never did.”

Stedman told Oprah that if they had really been in love, they would have gotten married years ago, continued the friend.

“There were tears and a lot of hurt, but in the end, they both knew that admitting the truth is better than living a lie…”

Oprah, 54, has tried to keep her mind off Stedman by working and supporting the presidential campaign of Sen. Barack Obama. But while she’s been out on the road with Obama, she regularly eats greasy fast foods and deep-friend meals, an insider revealed - and she gained 26 pounds in two months.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, March 31, 2008]

Oprah is also said to mindlessly snack a lot while she’s working and they say she plans to get in shape again after the election.

I don’t really like Oprah and think she’s full of shit most of the time, but whether she gains weight or not I don’t really care. People want to point at her for what’s perceived as a personal problem because she’s self-important and richer than most of the world combined, and that’s totally understandable.

Oprah was ranked the 562nd richest person in the world on Forbes Magazine’s rich list in 2006 and was said to be worth $1.4 billion at that time. She does charity but she largely contributes in Africa, and while that’s admirable and all she also dissed American kids by saying that they didn’t want nice schools and would rather have iPods and status symbol clothing. First of all, who is she to talk about someone wanting expensive things when she glorifies consumption with those “favorite things” episodes? Also, when she founded that girls’ school and specified the details down to the color of the building she sounded more like she wanted to create little mini-Oprahs rather than help young girls in Africa. At least she’s doing charity and people are benefiting.

Here’s a funny clip from the first episode of Louis Black’s new show on Comedy Central, “The Root of All Evil,” in which comedians debate topics over who is more evil with Louis Black presiding. In this case it was Oprah vs. The Catholic Church. Comedian Paul F Thomkins went to an inner city school and asked kids if they would rather have a new iPod or a new school. One girl’s reaction when she learned that Oprah dissed American kids is priceless.

If you would like to watch the whole first episode of Lewis Black’s “Root of All Evil: Oprah vs. The Catholic Church” I clipped it for my husband and it’s in four parts. It’s funny as anything and also features comedian Greg Giraldo. (I know this is only tangentially related, but Oprah is involved.)

Lewis Black’s “The Root of All Evil: Oprah Vs. Catholic Church” Part 1
Lewis Black’s “The Root of All Evil: Oprah Vs. Catholic Church” Part 2
Lewis Black’s “The Root of All Evil: Oprah Vs. Catholic Church” Part 3
Lewis Black’s “The Root of All Evil: Oprah Vs. Catholic Church” Part 4

Former Wilson Phillips band member Carnie Wilson lost 150 pounds in 1999 after gastric bypass surgery, but has since gained at least 50 pounds back after having a baby. Carnie is a size 16 and weighs 208 pounds. Her daughter Lola will turn three next month.

Carnie talked to OK! Magazine about her struggle with her weight. She probably needs the money that goes along with airing your personal problems in a gossip rag, but I also have to give her credit for bringing up a very important problem that faces a lot of mothers: toddler weight gain. When the screaming and begging get to be too much you don’t reach for a prescription medication and you try to avoid drinking too much to blot out the stress. You remain sober and present for your child when you scarf down three rolls of that delicious bakery bread and are rewarded with a nice carb high followed by a blood sugar crash, not that I’m speaking from experience.

In 1999, Carnie Wilson famously underwent gastric bypass surgery to cut 150 lbs. off her 300-lb. frame. Her struggle with her weight wasn’t over, though, as she gained back the pounds carrying daughter Lola, now 2. But after a stint on VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club, Carnie shed another 22 lbs. That was two years ago. Now, a month away from her 40th birthday, Carnie weighs 208 lbs. and wears a size 16. Opening up to OK!, the singer says she has hit “rock bottom” with her weight.

“Everyone can see that I’m bigger, but I cannot hibernate,” she tells OK!. “I’ve never lied or been dishonest about what’s going on in my life. Even all these years later, having had such a great weight-loss story, being back in this place is so familiar. And it hurts. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. It doesn’t feel good when you have to struggle to get your pants on.”

The source of her tremendous weight gain is snacking. Since having her daughter, the former Wilson Phillips star says she turned all her focus on her little girl, leaving little to no attention to her weight or diet.

“I had anxiety, started snacking and gained it all back and more,” she says. “I have a weakness when it comes to snacking. For me, it’s a tortilla with cheese, popcorn and graham crackers, all in one night.”

[From OK! Magazine]

Raising a child is one of the most stressful things you can do, and many people cope with that by eating. Carnie says she’s going to “lose 45 to 50 pounds and then try to get pregnant again,” but she’s about to turn 40 so she’s got to do it soon if she wants to get pregnant again naturally. She is trying to do 30 to 45 minutes of cardio every weekday and have a trainer come over three days a week.

Good luck to Carnie. She seems like she has a great personality and attitude. MSat was telling me that she heard her interviewed on the Howard Stern show a few times in the mid 90s and that she would joke around with Howard and wouldn’t shy away from the nasty topics he likes to discuss.

In 2006, Carnie told Oprah that she battled alcoholism after she lost weight and that she was “going down a dark spiral very quickly,” but that she quit drinking and then got pregnant with her daughter three weeks later.

Thanks to OK Magazine for these photos. Carnie’s interview is featured in the upcoming issue which has “Jen’s [Aniston's] Magic Diet” on the cover.

Photo courtesy of the National Enquirer
Eminem suffered a health scare over the holidays and was hospitalized for complications from pneumonia along with heart problems that may have been related. He was reported to have gained a lot of weight and to now be over 200 pounds. According to The Enquirer, he’s just 5′7″, so that would make him borderline obese.

Eminem has dealt with many personal problems over the past two years including the breakup of his re-marriage to Kim Mathers and the death of his best friend, rapper Proof. His mother was also diagnosed with stage four breast cancer and although he reconciled with her in 2006 she has since cashed in on their relationship with a tell-all book alleging that his rags to riches story was largely fabricated and that their family never lived in a trailer, as was shown in his biographical movie, 8 Mile. In the book, “My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem” Eminem’s mom also claims that he has bipolar disorder and that he was too wasted to remember re-marrying Kim.

When the news came out that Eminem had gained a lot of weight I looked hard for a new picture of him, but I couldn’t find any photos after a December, 2006 appearance on TRL with 50 Cent.

The National Enquirer has a photo of Eminem along with the sordid details of his eating habits, and I feel kind of sorry for the guy. I’m also a stress eater and I really have to keep myself busy and exercise so that I don’t pig out on carbs. Bread and cookies are what gets me. Eminem has fallen prey to the ever-present fast food and chain eateries:

“He’s got a double chin, a pot-belly and droopy man-breasts. And he’s living a reclusive lifestyle in an attempt to hide his new body,” says the insider.

Eminem’s maternal grandmother Better Kresin told The Enquirer she blames his ongoing food binge on being stressed out about his two failed marriages to ex-wife Kim.

“He really wanted it to work between them, to have a happy family life for their daughter Hailie Jade, something he claims he never had while growing up.”

Eminem’s weight problem is a result of too many trips to Detroit’s Outback Steakhouses and Taco Bells, says the insider.

“Marshall has Taco Bell lunches of burritos and tacos with dessert, then Outback dinners of three filet mignons with all the fixings.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 28, 2008]

Eminem was once super fit so surely he knows what he’s got to do to shed those convenience food pounds. It’s easier said than done, though, and maybe his health scare will provide him with the impetus to make some positive changes in his lifestyle. He’s self medicating with food instead of booze and drugs, and although it doesn’t seem that bad at first it’s something that got out of hand for him and can lead to all sorts of health problems.

Update: The header photo is a direct scan from the National Enquirer that is currently available on the shelves and was not Photoshopped by us in any way. Commentor Shadygal pointed out that this photo is not Eminem “now” as is listed next to it by the Enquirer and was taken in March of 2006. The other photo that is available from this day shows Eminem from the side and he doesn’t look this heavy. It looks like the Enquirer Photoshopped this one, but they didn’t say anywhere that it was a “photo recreation” or that the photo was not current.

Star Magazine has a doozy about how former pothead Brad Pitt was caught smoking a joint with Jackass star Steve O. It’s covered in an article about how 44 year-old Pitt must feel old because he’s getting Restalyne injections and working hard as a father to four kids. They suggest that Brad is going through a midlife crisis and that he’s been going out and partying a little to cope. It all sounds catty, like the guy can’t even have a drink with friends without being talked about:

“He still smokes,” another insider tells Star “He sneaks cigs behind Angie’s back.” At the Cannes Film Festival in May, “He stayed outside, smoking and drinking,” says a witness. “He looked stressed, like he was trying to get his fill because he had a limited time to enjoy his cigarettes.”

But cigarettes aren’t the only smokes that Brad has enjoyed. A source tells Star he spotted Brad smoking what looked like a joint with Jackass wild man Steve-O on a hot L.A. afternoon. “I couldn’t believe that someone as famous as Brad Pitt would be smoking openly,” the witness says. “But there he was, lighting up a fattie with Steve-O. I was stunned!”

Angie would have been, too. “She doesn’t think Brad should smoke pot or anything else,” an insider tells Star. “She wishes he’d drop all that. A drink once in a while is OK. But that’s it.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, January 14, 2007]

Brad Pitt was known to be a heavy pot smoker in the late 90s, so this sounds like it could be true. He certainly looks like he’s been smoking something. Pitt and his much-maligned wife, Angelina Jolie, showed up at the Critics Choice Awards on 1/7/08 in Santa Monica last night and he was sporting a messy goatee, unkempt hair and a few more pounds. He still looks hot, though, and I bet it’s for a role. According to IMDB his film Dirty Tricks, about the Nixon Watergate scandal, is in production. He plays Nixon advisor John Dean, who orchestrated the Watergate cover-up, although Dean looked thin and clean cut in the photos I saw of him.

There was a story this week that Pitt’s hometown of Springfield, Missouri was set to build a museum to the famous actor, but it was based on a joke that Springfield’s public relations person made that was taken out of context. There will be no Brad Pitt museum - for now.

Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures.

26 year-old Ryan Gosling has been replaced by Mark Wahlberg as the grieving father in The Lovely Bones, the screen adaptation of the best seller by Alice Seybold. Lovely Bones is about a 14 year-old girl who is murdered and watches from heaven as her family mourns for her.

While the young Gosling might not have seemed right for the part of the father of a teenager, he gained a reported 20 pounds in a short period of time and grew a beard to more closely resemble a middle-aged middle-class dad. And he looked the part of the majority of dads around the country, who aren’t buff and have let themselves go a little.

When he got on set to work on the film, director Peter Jackson thought he wasn’t hot enough to play the character despite being told ahead of time by Gosling that he would gain weight for the role. Gosling left due to “creative differences” last Friday, before filming was set to start on Monday. On Sunday Mark Wahlberg was announced as his replacement:

Peter Jackson was said to be quite surprised that Gosling had showed up to start work on “The Lovely Bones” looking like he’d donned a fat suit. According to sources, the 26-year-old Gosling had apparently told the director he was going to gain weight to age himself up to play the part of a grieving father, but Jackson was still expecting some movie star allure — not paunch and a beard. By Friday, Gosling had left the high-profile production over those pesky “creative differences,” and, by Sunday, he’d been replaced by 36-year-old Mark Wahlberg, who actually could be old enough to father a teenager.

[From LATimes.com via ONTD]

I find Ryan Gosling hotter as a bearded guy with a few extra pounds. Maybe that’s because he no longer seems like a kid to me and actually looks the part of a 30-something dad. Mark Wahlberg is always nice eye candy, though, and the guy can act. He’s also a bigger box office draw, because he’s well known.

It bothers me that when an actor strives to be authentically normal-looking, he’s replaced with a Hollywood ideal. It’s not like he was just passed up for a role because he looked the part, he was ousted because of it. Gosling would have played the role of a dad whose teenage daughter was killed. Statistically speaking, that character is likely to have a few extra pounds.

Medium star Patricia Arquette was told to lose her baby weight to play her tv role as a psychic mom of three. She dug in her heels, insisting that her character would be an average-sized person and that it didn’t make sense for her to be thin for the part.

This isn’t the first time that Jackson has dumped an actor right before filming was set to begin. Stuart Townsend, Charlize Theron’s boyfriend, was supposed to play Aragon in Lord of the Rings, but Jackson fired him just days before they started filming. He was replaced by Viggo Mortensen, with Jackson saying that Townsend wasn’t right for the role.

Jackson has had his own issues with weight, having lost 70 pounds in late 2004 and early 2005. He told the Daily Telegraph that he “changed [his] diet from hamburgers to yoghurt and muesli and it seems to work.” Maybe he thinks that if he could do it, middle aged dads must be able to too.

Peter Jackson is shown on 5/12/05 at the NY premiere of King Kong. Ryan Gosling is shown at the LA premiere of Lars and The Real Girl with his sister, Mandi, on 10/2/07. Thanks to PRPhotos.

If there’s anything Janet Jackson is skilled at, it’s gaining and losing weight quickly. Even after she lost 70 pounds last year she gained at least 20 back and then lost it again before she made more public appearances.

She’s said to be planning to write a book about her weight issues and to include information about nutrition and exercise:

Janet Jackson has decided to chronicle her battles with the bulge in a new book. Janet admits the 60 pounds she put on last year had a crippling effect on her. “I would see myself in the mirror, but I wouldn’t look too often. I didn’t want to get used to [it],” she said. In addition to telling her own story, the book will include nutrition tips to help others slim down.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, October 22, 2007]

There are so many sound programs and methods of losing weight. The main barrier you usually have is finding one that makes sense for you and changing your habits to stick with it. For me it involves convincing myself that I’m able to do it. It also makes a big difference if you get rid of all the junk food in your house so there’s nothing to temp you in a moment of weakness.

Janet can probably make a lot of people feel better about their weight issues if she talks about what she’s gone through. It really amazes me how she gains and loses weight so quickly, and if she did it every few years it probably would be fine, but it doesn’t seem healthy for her body to yo-yo like that.

Janet is shown below on 10/9/07 at the NY premiere of Why Did I Get Married?

Kylie Minogue seems to have found an incredible strength after battling breast cancer. After undergoing surgery on in May of 2005 in Australia, Minogue went through several rounds of chemotherapy, and appears to now be in good health. She seems to have a really great, balanced perspective on life, and even though she says her body isn’t what it used to be, it doesn’t seem to bother her all that much.

“Kylie Minogue is learning how to live with her new body post cancer, and it’s as much an emotional battle as it is physical. Diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005, the singer opened up about her battle with the disease to British Glamour magazine in the November issue.

“‘When you are stripped of everything and you have to grow your eyelashes back, grow your hair back, it’s just astonishing,’ she said. ‘It’s hard to express what I’ve learned from that, but a deep psychological and emotional shift has obviously taken place.’

“The physical shift is most noticeable, and she remains upbeat. ‘As far as my body goes, I’ve shrunk to nothing … I’ve ballooned – my body is not what it used to be,’ she said. ‘But it is the body I am in.’”

[From People]

It never even occurred to me that you’d obviously lose other body hair besides the hair on your head when you go through chemo. It’s so sad and shocking to hear about so many young women dealing with breast cancer, and it’s a reminder that bad things still happen regardless of fame. We often sit around thinking our lives would be perfect if we were just a little bit famous, but then you remember you can still get cancer, still get into a car crash, or still lose your kids.

Kylie says that she’d like to start a family someday, but seems uncertain whether she’ll ever get married.

“Minogue, 39, split with her boyfriend actor Olivier Martinez earlier this year, but insists she is still optimistic for the happy-ever-after scenario. ‘I want to keep working on finding perfect harmony within my life and my work,’ the singer tells the magazine. ‘And a family, yeah, that’s still something I would love to happen.’

“She is careful to put any rumors of reconciliation with Martinez to rest. ‘I think he has a girlfriend, I’m not entirely sure, but it’s not true.’ But Minogue, who is currently not dating, adds wistfully, ‘I honestly don’t have a feeling one way or the other if I will walk down the aisle.’

“For now the singer is focused on reducing her working day to ‘like 9-5 hours,’ and spending more time in her garden. ‘What I believed before my illness has only been enhanced since, and that’s that beauty comes from within,’ she said.”

[From People]

Hopefully Kylie will remain cancer-free. I don’t know nearly as much as I should about breast cancer, and I couldn’t find any information about her long-term prognosis. Let’s hope she stays positive, as it sounds like she’s gained a lot of strength, and that’s incredibly important.

Picture Note by Jaybird: Here’s several pics of Kylie post-cancer. Her body still looks incredible to me. Images thanks to PR Photos.