These are new photos of Russell Crowe at a big announcement in Sydney, Australia on Tuesday. The announcement? He’s just been named the narrator of the remake of Ben-Hur. I know, I know, but wait: it’s not some God-awful Hollywood remake where they cast Orly Bloom’s Dirtlip in the Charleton Heston part. No, it’s going to be a “live theater performance” in Australia, and Russell is going to take part in the live theater event – as the narrator. So, basically, he gets to sit around and eat doughnuts while he watches Orly Bloom act as Judah Ben-Hur live on stage. (Note: I have no idea who is actually going to play Judah Ben-Hur.)

So, is it just me, or does Russell look… a bit chubby? Not fat, mind you, I’m not saying he looks horrible or anything, I’m just pointing out that he looks very puffy in these photos. Russell seemed to give a bunch of interviews yesterday (probably answering questions at this photo call), and he ended up talking about how he just quit smoking. Yep… that’s probably why he’s gained some weight. Good for him for quitting!

Russell Crowe used to smoke so much his six-year-old son called cigarette smoke “daddy smell”.

The 46-year-old actor has two sons with his wife Danielle Spencer, Charlie, six, and three-year-old Tennyson. Russell has been a heavy smoker since he was 10 years old, but quit earlier this year.

He has now been smoke-free for almost two months, and is still marvelling at the way it has transformed his life. He says his young sons were so used to his habit, they thought cigarette smoke was his natural scent, and would often smell it in the street and assume he was nearby and hiding from them.

“Charlie called it Daddy smell. With Dani ,they’d walk past smokers on the street he’d say, ‘Mum, Dads here somewhere (sic),’” Russell wrote on his Twitter page.

Russell found quitting smoking much more difficult than he had anticipated. He posted messages on the social networking site daily for the first week, complaining of “wild dreams”, excess sweating and a hacking cough.

[From Music Rooms]

Yeah, I’m still thinking that he’s gained weight because he quit. His puffiness is probably from drinking too. Yesterday, Starpulse called him out for being “too tubby” and they claimed that there are a flurry of rumors that Russell had to be digitally “slimmed down” in Robin Hood. However, his rep claims those reports are “not true.” Meanwhile, as I look at these photos, I’m reminded of how I gave up my Russell crush for my Gerard Butler crush. They could play brothers, they look so much alike, in my opinion. Dirty moobtastic bastards.

By the way, I just wanted to throw this photo in here, since we’re talking about men gaining weight – Nick Nolte has certainly put on some pounds, hasn’t he? The difference with Nick is that the extra weight looks really good on him, he doesn’t look so gaunt and strung out. He was photographed on the NYC set of Arthur (the one with Russell Brand). It’s good to seem him working again too!

Russell on July 27, 2010 in Sydney. Nick Nolte on July 24, 2010. Credit for all: Fame.

In this week’s National Enquirer, they have one of the most unflattering photos of Whitney Houston in the middle of a concert on May 27, under the headline “Whitney Soars to 175 lbs”. The piece is remarkably similar to one the Enquirer ran about Mariah Carey several weeks ago, only with Mariah they were all “she gained weight because she’s happy” and with Whitney they’re like “she’s gained weight just because.” Unfortunately, we don’t have the exact photos the Enquirer is using, so these – from May 14 – will have to suffice. Does Whitney look bigger? Sure. Did I look at her and think “heifer”? No.

Whitney Houston’s weight is spiraling out of control! The troubled Grammy winner has packed on at least 20 pounds recently.

While experts believe some of the weight gain has been caused by steroid injections or prednisone treatments to treat a nagging respiratory infection, insiders say that Whitney’s been “pigging out” on room service and fast food during her “Nothing But Love” European tour.

“She ballooned to 175 pounds, and there’s no sign of slowing down,” added a source.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

I’d imagine that she’s also gaining weight because:
A) Who cares?
B) She’s not smoking crack anymore (while she reads the Bible), and needs something for her oral fixation.
C) She on tour, and she’s hungry after performing.
D) Because she’s not some young pop star with a crazy metabolism.

All in all, it could totally be worse. Maybe Whitney will become the new Aretha Franklin! Just a big, beautiful woman with an amazing voice, someone who gets so big, their fashion statements are all about boobs and hats. I would really love that Whitney. That Whitney has her voice back. I wonder if the actual Whitney will ever have her voice back?

Bossip, Star Magazine and the National Enquirer are all claiming that Mariah Carey has gained weight because she’s undergoing fertility treatments. I mean, sure, I could totally see that as a possibility, but I think all of these reports are related to Mariah and Nick’s recent appearance at a medical center (the same photos in this post), plus all of those stories about how much weight Mariah has gained. I’m not sure why we have the need to paint Mariah as some baby-hungry woman when she’s pretty direct about her ambivalence in interviews.

MARIAH CAREY has secretly resumed fertility treatments in a desperate bid to become a mom, The ENQUIRER has learned. AND that’s the REAL reason the Grammy-winning diva’s weight has soared!

“She’s packed on a lot of weight, but it’s related to the fertility drugs she’s taking,” a close pal told The ENQUIRER. “In fact, she may already be pregnant.”

The 41-year-old singer was beaming after visiting the Southern California Reproductive Center, a top fertility clinic in Beverly Hills, on Mother’s Day with hubby Nick Cannon, 29. Mariah had unsuccessfully sought in vitro treatment at the clinic last year, the source says.

“She’s going to be able to have a baby.”

[From The National Enquirer]

Star Magazine’s piece is pretty much the same thing, only this time the insider says: “Mariah wants a baby ASAP. She’s actually visited fertility specialists a number of times. Mariah is not going to be content until she becomes a mother, one way or another.” If it’s true, then I wish her well and I hope she becomes a mom. And I hope it’s a little girl, just because… you know… another little Mimi. It would be amazing.

Mariah and Nick in LA on May 11, 2010. Credit: Pacific Coast News.

I know a lot of you like Tori Spelling and watch her show. Hell Kaiser even likes her. Some of you tell me I’m wrong when I call her to task for being an unapologetic homewrecker, although most of you agree that she’s insufferable. It’s just that there’s something so needy about her, and so annoying. In the latest issue of Life & Style, Tori appears in a bikini and gives quotes about how attentive her husband is that aren’t meant to sound like they’re straight from her. Poor Tori didn’t earn the cover, though, and is just a side piece to the main story about how Kendra and Hank are trying for another baby. It’s got to hurt to lose out to another reality star who is (allegedly) fighting the release of a sex tape she once tried to sell. Tori is showing that she’s not as skinny as she once was and has gained a whole 5-6 pounds. Sit your bony ass down, Tori, I can do that in a week without feeling particularly full:

On a family vacation at the Veranda resort in Turks and Caicos on May 16, Tori Spelling looked proud to strut her stuff in a sexy black bikini! The exclusive photos of Tori in the new issue of Life & Style—on newsstands now—show off Tori’s now healthier-looking physique. Gone was the skeletal frame, estimated at 93 pounds, that shocked the world just weeks ago. “Last summer, she didn’t want to be photographed in a bathing suit,” an insider close to Tori tells Life & Style. “Now she’s much happier with herself. She’s still very thin, but she’s not bony anymore.”

A second insider agrees: “She’s gained about 5 or 6 pounds. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but on someone as thin as Tori, it makes a world of difference.” What finally prompted her to put on the much-needed weight? Her career and family life are getting better every day, says the second insider, which makes Tori want to eat.

During the trip to Turks and Caicos, Dean worked overtime to show Tori how devoted he is to her. “Dean was great during the vacation,” the second insider says. “Things between them still aren’t perfect, but they’re getting better. It’s clear that Dean’s trying.” His most touching gesture? Making special arrangements for Tori’s favorite dessert — red velvet cake — to be brought to his wife on the beach in celebration of her 37th birthday on May 16.

For more exclusive photos from Tori and Dean’s vacation, pick up this week’s issue of Life & Style, on newsstands now.

[From Life and Style received via e-mail]

Oh that’s so touching, Dean made sure Tori had red velvet cake on her birthday. I guess I can’t bash Tori too much for resorting to the same lame tactics as other reality stars like Kim Kardashian. Kim earns covers for losing 5 pounds, so Tori can earn a sidebar for gaining that same amount. It’s just kind of sad that she has to tout how healthy her marriage is and brag about how happy and healthy she is. It kind of points to serious problems, but when your career involves putting your life under a microscope you have to make due.

I don’t mean to get all philosophical, but reality show relationships suffer from the observer effect. (Which I had confused with the Heisenberg principle before I looked it up.) They significantly change as a result of how they’re scrutinized. Then again, it wouldn’t be as interesting if Tori and Dean got along as well as they try to portray. The fun is in watching them burn out. For now we’ll get to see Tori strip down and try and make everything sound great. Maybe if she kept her private life away from cameras and stuck to writing books and shilling jewelry on the Home Shopping Network things would work out better for her.

Header photo via CoverAwards. Thanks to Life and Style for the story.

Sure, we’ve all pretended not to notice. Okay, not really, we all noticed and commented on Mariah Carey’s weight gain. Much like Jessica Simpson, it’s not Mariah’s weight that offends me in any way – Mariah looks happy and God bless her. No, what offends me is that Mariah still dresses like she has her old figure – and many of those ensembles were questionable even then. But I digress – The National Enquirer has an epic story about how in the two years of blissful matrimony to Nick Cannon, Mariah has gained 57 pounds. That seems like a lot. I don’t really think it’s that much – my guess is closer to 30 pounds, but I think I might be bad at guessing weights. The Enquirer’s piece quotes extensively from a doctor who isn’t treating Mariah, and he’s basically just saying that if she eats one more cheeseburger, she’s going to die. FYI: Nick Cannon comes across in this article like a really lovely man. Here’s more:

Has Mariah Carey turned herself into a foodaholic – just a few calories away from hitting a deadly high of 200 pounds?

“Mariah looks like she has really let herself go,” revealed a source close to the singer.

Mariah has packed on a whopping 57 pounds just in the last two years, says a concerned source. And her ballooning weight – now approaching an all-time high of 192 pounds – has brought her to the brink of life-threatening medical problems, warns an expert. But pals say the hardworking diva is under tremendous stress and is resorting to food binges to relieve her frustrations.

“Turning 40 was a big thing for Mariah, and she’s been trying repeatedly to get pregnant. Combined, the two things have hit like a one-two punch and stresses her out. She is turning to food for comfort.”

To make matters worse, Nick Cannon is sending the wrong message – telling Mariah there’s “just more of her to love.”

For the past several weeks, Mariah – who turned 41 in March – has been dropping hints she may be pregnant.

“Mariah’s been coy about the whole pregnancy thing right now to deflect attention from her weight gain,” said the close source. “She doesn’t want to have to address it. And Nick keeps telling her how beautiful she looks.”

When Mariah and Nick got married, she weighed 135 pounds. But over the past two years, Mariah has been cooking mac & cheese, fried chicken, pizzas, et cetera. “Nick has even suggested that her food is so good, she should think about writing a cookbook.”

Where she once was rumored to have undergone liposuction (in the fall of 2008), now “she has turned to high-calorie late-night snacking and she’s at her heaviest weight ever. Her attitude is not to fight the weight gain, but just to go with it.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

I remember the liposuction rumor! It seemed like all of sudden, around the winter of 2008-09, Mariah’s stomach looked really flat and, like, mysteriously toned. And only her waist was small, everything else was normal Mariah-sized. By the way, doesn’t Nick sound like a lovely husband? That’s probably why Mariah has been gaining weight – because Nick adores her no matter what she weighs, and he supports her in whatever she wants. It’s kind of awesome. Who would have thought that Mariah would have such a great marriage? Now, regarding the whole “Oh my God, she’s going to die!” stuff. I don’t know, I guess people should get a grip. Sure, she could stand to lose some weight, but we don’t know everything that’s going on with her, so just leave her alone. And make her buy some clothes in her size so she won’t keep jamming herself into this stuff.

Mariah Carey in Malibu on November 4, 2009. Credit: Pacific Coast News.

I guess we’re not supposed to mention that Jessica Simpson is gaining weight. She’s not “fat” and I’m certainly not saying that all women have to be super-skinny, or that gaining some weight is a crime or anything like that. But Jessica herself has made talking about her body a national pastime, and she’s even promoted The Price of Beauty on the back of the hyper-criticism she received for those chili cook-off photos from last year. Of course, Jessica told Oprah those photos were after she had gained like five or ten pounds. So how much has she gained this go around? The styling never helps with her. That skirt should be dragged into the street and shot. The shirt makes her look like a linebacker. This is Jessica’s fundamental problem: she has literally no clue how to dress her figure, no matter what her weight is. She’s too dumb, I guess.

Speaking of laughing at how dumb Jessica is, Fox News Pop Tarts has an interesting piece up about whether we’re all cruel, heartless, misogynistic bitches for even paying attention to Jessica’s weight fluctuations. It’s an interesting read:

What is it about pop star Jessica Simpson that makes her the butt of so many jokes about weight and relationships? Last February, singer and reality star Jessica Simpson made headlines after debuting an apparently fuller-than-usual figure while performing at a country music chili cook-off. But 14 months later, why are her weight fluctuations and personal misfortunes continuing to be spotlighted and satirized?

Over recent months, it seems Simpson has been attacked from almost every angle. Last year, a cartoon skit which aired during Fox’s NFL Sunday showed Tony Romo’s teammates laughing at his former girlfriend’s “big” size, and rapper Eminem made a music video starring a “heavy” Simpson look-alike in her daisy dukes with a hamburger in hand.

Then, MTV cartoon “Popzilla” made fun of her “bad luck” while sitting in the bleachers at a Dallas Cowboys Football Game. Even President Obama dryly commented on Simpson being “in a weight battle, apparently” when it was pointed out that his family portrait was bumped from the cover of Us Weekly to make way for the songstress’s weight issues.

Fox’s “Glee” was the latest outlet to take a shot at Simpson in their premiere episode last week.

“Sometimes I wish I could be more like Coach Tanka,” Finn said in a voiceover. “He pulled a Jessica Simpson — you know, lost his fiancé, gained 40 pounds, stopped showering, and everyone acts like that is totally normal.”

Attacks such as these beg the question, why is everyone obsessed with attacking Jessica?
According to Dr. Dionne Bennett, a Women’s Studies Professor at Loyola Marymount University, these “jokes” aren’t just attacks on Jessica; they are attacks on all women.

“It is a way of telling us that even the most physically admired women will be the objects of ridicule if they gain weight or ‘lose’ their beauty. It is also a way of telling women that our looks are the only source of our value so that if our looks are diminished, our overall value is also diminished,” Bennett said. “The attacks are also engaging the idea that everybody has the right to look at, talk about, and judge women’s bodies, something we rarely do to men.”

Simpson’s weight fluctuations and lack of luck in the love department are certainly nothing abnormal for Hollywood, or for the average American. So is Simpson being unfairly targeted? Or is it simply that we notice her more?

“No one really cared [when actress Kirstie Alley gained weight] because she’s Kirstie Alley,” said New York-based PR and Social Media expert, Peter Shankman. “But when it’s Jessica Simpson, a young girl who’s gorgeous and is beautiful and all of sudden gained all this weight, it’s a different story. I guarantee you if Paris Hilton gained 50 pounds, it’d be the same thing.”

And while Simpson herself has managed to stay strong throughout this seemingly never-ending ordeal, she told Tarts she had to work hard to pull herself out from the “very dark place” that the sudden negative attention forced her into.

“It was really hard on me and I felt I needed to find some light in the very dark place I was in,” Simpson recently told Pop Tarts while discussing the inspiration behind her new VH1 reality show “Price of Beauty.”

“I realized that people’s judgments about me and about my weight are really just none of my business, it’s not something I should be listening to or taking to heart. People can say whatever they want to say and I cannot take it personally.”

A rep for Simpson declined comment for this article.

So seeing as Simpson chose a career in the spotlight and consciously put herself out there to be judged, does she bring this ridicule on herself?

“I cannot believe that she views any publicity as bad publicity. This is a woman who let her dad talk her into turning her new marriage in a reality television show, in effect dooming it from the start,” said Terri Dougherty, author of “People in the News – Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey.”

“Like a child constantly trying to get attention, her entire life seems to revolve around the phrase, ‘Look at me!’ so if her weight has turned into a punch line on a television show, I don’t see this hurting her or her career.”

And Simpson’s close friend, personal assistant and co-star in “Price of Beauty” Cacee Cobb believes this experience has had a positive effect on the pop star’s life.

“This show was really important to her to spread the word so girls don’t have to go through what she had just gone through the past year,” Cobb told Pop Tarts. “She was unfortunately under so much scrutiny, that if she could save one person from having to go through that… it was really amazing to be a part of such a moving mission.”

[From Fox News Pop Tarts]

Is this why no one is really talking about Jessica most recent weight gain? We all feel like we’re kicking a puppy by criticizing her? I’ll say the same thing I said about Mischa Barton - I don’t really care if Jessica or anyone else puts on some weight or whatever. What I think is fair game is a celebrity’s styling, their clothing, their hair, their makeup. And for that, Jessica almost always gets a big fat FAIL.

Jessica in NY on April 19, 2010. Credit: RAM/Fame Pictures.

Many know Greasy Bear Brandon Davis from his various drunken, drugged out shenanigans and his absolutely horrible taste in women, from Paris Hilton to Mischa Barton to Avril Lavigne. He was also the dude who coined Lindsay Lohan “Firecrotch”. The man is disgusting, and a waste of space. A greasy waste of space:

Anyway, Brandon ran into his ex-grilfriend Mischa Barton at the Nylon Magazine party on Wednesday night, and he didn’t like what he saw in his ex. Meaning, he thought she looked horrible. So he took to his Twitter to insult her (although he’s pulled the message down now): “Omg. Just realized my ex turned in to 1 of the fattest people in the planet. I’m gonna start dating plus sized models. Not! Mischa the Hefer”. Yes, he spelled “heifer” wrong. Here’s more:

Brandon Davis has found another way to bring negative attention to himself, taking to Twitter to call his ex-girlfriend Mischa Barton a fat hefer. He caught sight of her at a party for Nylon Wednesday night in LA and unleashed this message: “Omg. Just realized my ex turned in to 1 of the fattest people in the planet. I’m gonna start dating plus sized models. Not! Mischa the Hefer”.

Brandon is an oil heir who is most famous for his oily complexion, dating Mischa Barton during her ‘O.C.’ days and calling Lindsay Lohan a firecrotch. Brandon was overweight until a couple of years ago. A partygoer said Mischa was upset by the encounter with her ex and left around midnight.

“She was chain-smoking the entire night,” the source told the Daily News. “Mischa was never without a cigarette in her hand — and a puss on her face.”

[From The Huffington Post]

Ugh. On one side, I do think Mischa looks like crap. But I haven’t said anything about her weight, have I? No. Only her drugged out face and horrible hair and crappy clothes. Because those are the things I get judgy about. Has Mischa gained weight? Of course. She recently got heavy criticism for pouring her slightly chunkier booty into some God-awful yellow pants that were at least two sizes two small. So part of this is just that the girl doesn’t know how to dress now that she’s no longer a size zero, for which I say, go ahead. It’s open season on bad fashion on not knowing how to dress for your body. But to call her a “hefer”? Ugh. Team Mischa.

I am not an Ellen Pompeo hater. Of course, I don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy, so that might have something to do with it? But I find her tolerable. I think she used to be just gorgeous, pre-Grey’s, but something about that show made her lose a lot of weight (which was sad) and begin thinking she was some kind of fashion girl (which she isn’t). So basically my current opinion of her is something like “meh”. But that was before I read these interview excerpts from her cover profile in Self Magazine.

Ellen Pompeo, who gave birth to daughter Stella Luna in September, covers the April issue of Self magazine. In the interview, Ellen, 40, talks about how motherhood has changed her body.

On her pregnancy weight gain:
“I went up a pants size during my pregnancy. I was in size 25 jeans and went to 26. I gained 26 pounds. I weigh 10 pounds more than I ever have. I love it.”

On criticism for being too thin:
“Everyone always told me I was too skinny before, and I thought, Oh, God, what if there are 14-year-olds who think I’m not eating, and then they don’t eat? Do I have a responsibility? Really, I don’t care if people think I’m too skinny. This is my body. If they don’t like it, screw it.”

On healthy eating:
“Take a few hours and prepare lunch for the week. On Sundays, I premake everything for salads. I boil a dozen eggs and parboil beets. I chop lettuce, cilantro, scallions and parsley and put it all in Ziploc bags. During the week, I just grab handfuls, add dressing, dump in a can of beans, some goat cheese, and I’m ready to go.”

On taking just four weeks maternity leave before returning to the Grey’s set:
“A lot of people couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t take my maternity leave. I make a good living, but I won’t always make this kind of money. I felt I needed to work while I had this opportunity.”

[From Huffington Post]

So she’s thrilled that she weighs ten pound more than she used to? And I’m guessing she’s still drastically underweight, although she looks very healthy and pretty in these photos, so maybe not. Sure, I generally agree with her “It’s my body” sentiments, but if you really feel that way, why go on the cover of Self and talk about how you went up one size while pregnant and try to convince us of how “healthy” you are? I feel like Ellen has Renee Zellweger Syndrome.

Self cover and additional pic courtesy of Just Jared.

These are photos of Mark Wahlberg on the LA set of The Fighter. You may remember hearing about this movie last year, around July and August, because photos of Christian Bale, looking very, very thin and drawn and crackhead-esque, were circulating widely. I think they’re doing some reshoots, maybe? Otherwise, this project has been filming for something like nine months. Anyway, we actually heard mostly about Bale and the physical transformation he was undergoing to play boxer-turned-trainer-turned-crackhead Dicky Eklund. But it looks like Mark Wahlberg, who is playing “Irish” Micky Ward, Eklund’s half-brother, also went through his own physical transformation. I call this transformation, “The Gerard Butler”. I actually got a little nauseous when the cameras caught the light glistening off Mark’s moobs.

Now, does Mark look terrible? No. It’s just that the formative image I have of him is the Calvin Klein stuff more than a decade ago, when his abs were his calling card. Critical acclaim, an Oscar nomination and four babies later, Mark has puffed out to the point where I did a double take when I came across these photos. But seriously, he doesn’t look terrible. Some people still like him. And hopefully he’ll get back into shape when the movie is over? Maybe?

He still has a cute butt, though.

Mark on March 15, 2010 in LA. Credit: Andrew Shawaf, PacificCoastNews.com.

Gah! I’ve just spent way too long looking for new photos of Lisa Marie Presley, but we don’t have access to anything from the last few months, and I can’t find a good image of this week’s Enquirer cover! I’m sorry, people, we’ll have to make do with these slightly older images (circa October 2009). Lisa Marie still looks heavy in them, but the whole Enquirer story is really mean. According to them, her weight has “ballooned to 165 pounds”. Um… not to be rude, but she’s a lot heavier than 165 pounds.

Lisa Marie Presley’s weight has recently ballooned to 165 pounds, friends believe, and they fear new binge eating could be endangering her health.

The chunky mother of four needs to lose at least 40 pounds, medical experts say, or put herself at risk of a fatal heart attack.

Lisa Marie’s bloated body is a chilling echo of her father Elvis Presley, who packed on weight near the end of his life – and at 42, she’s the SAME AGE as The King when he died.

Shocking new photos in the print edition clearly show Lisa Marie’s dramatic weight gain, especially her paunchy midsection, and The ENQUIRER can now reveal the secret heartaches behind her potentially deadly health crisis.

Close sources say she may be traumatized by the sudden death of her ex-husband Michael Jackson, frustrated by her stalled music career and battling to shed the baby weight she never lost after giving birth to twins.

For the FULL STORY with all the exclusive details you won’t find anywhere else – pick up the new ENQUIRER — on sale now! PLUS: shocking before and after pix of the once proud beauty who now bears an eerily resemblance to her father, Elvis, at the time of his bloated death!

[From The National Enquirer]

When CB and I were talking about this story, she mentioned that these “she’s gained weight” covers must sell really well, because they keep doing them about Kirstie Alley. Then she theorized that maybe it had something to do with Xenu. Which I thought she meant “Xenu commands you to eat donuts, fried chicken and gravy.” But she meant something else, so nevermind!

Also, the first thing I thought when I saw these photos is that she may be pregnant again? Discuss.

Lisa Marie Presley in London on October 13, 2009. Credit: INFphoto.com