Kelly Osbourne attended the Denis Simachev fashion show in London yesterday. She hit a sour note with a chunky asymmetrical hairpiece and a fussy white cap sleeve blouse with a silly black neck tie.

Kelly has been lauded for her recent weight loss, which she says is getting her more attention from boys:

Osbourne was pictured with a “guest” at the fashion show, the man in a striped shirt shown below, but he may be just a guest at the show and not a guest of hers. They don’t seem to be looking at each other and it’s possible they were just sitting near each other.

Here is Osbourne at the fashion show. She is pictured with Julien MacDonald above.

Star Jones famously got a large portion of her sham wedding ceremony to Al Reynolds comped. Now she doesn’t want to pay for stripping-focused exercise lessons, since she’s not going to need them anyway:

Obviously Jones is up to her old tricks and thinks that her dim star power is enough to get her anything she wants. She should just be canned from The View already and become a spokesperson because she doesn’t have many career options left.

By all accounts, Jones’ return to the View after the health scare she suffered from breast lift surgery was unremarkable. Jones brought some falsies in for her co-hosts, saying she no longer needed them, and admitted that she did have a scare on the operating table. She continued to downplay the threat to her health though and insisted that she was “eating bacon and eggs” the next morning. Jones seemed to get along fine with Joy Behar after their snotty exchange on the phone over the air. The two must have been making a special effort.

Jones was honored by Dress for Success at the Marriot Marquis in NY last night. Dress for Success is a non-profit organization that provides secondhand business attire and interview tips to disadvantaged women. Jones must be considered a wonderful example for women afraid to ask for charity.

Here’s Jones in what’s probably a borrowed dress at the Dress for Success event last night.

In the past few days we have heard that Kate Moss and Angelina Jolie are going to write autobiographies, and that Victoria Beckham and Nicole Richie are going to write style guides. As if we need another celebrity book, newly-slim Kelly Osbourne has vowed to pen her autobiography:

Kelly also said she’s not going to do a fitness video with her slimmed down brother, Jack, or get involved with Celebrity X Factor with her mom. At least books are easy to ignore.

Here is Kelly at the UK Fifi awards on 3/27.

Nicole Richie makes a feeble attempt to deflect well-deserved speculation about her weight by stating that she just loves fast food:

Richie is hounded by photographers everywhere she goes, and apart from this picture where she’s uncomfortably eating a hotdog at a Knicks game, which she no doubt purged as soon as possible, there’s little evidence that she enjoys fast food. Richie has been seen entering fast food establishments - and coming out with only beverages. She’s undoubtedly fooling herself with these latest comments.

Here’s Richie with some flattering hair extensions at the Prince show at Teddy’s in Hollywood, CA yesterday. Paris also attended the show, but there’s no word whether the two ex-friends met up. We would bet they were pointedly ignoring one another.

Richie’s boyfriend, DJ AM, is in Miami for the popular Winter Music Conference, so not much can be inferred from the fact that he didn’t go to the show with her.

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Jennifer Garner is set to take it all off in a new erotic thriller. Her production company, Vandalia Films, is creating the picture, titled “Sabbatical,” which will have a missing person plot with a twist:

In these pictures taken of Garner shopping in Santa Monica yesterday, she looks like she has slimmed down in preparation to go back to work. She has said that she is losing weight slowly instead of going on a radical diet in order to make sure that she and her nursing baby Violet, almost four months, are healthy.

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Update: Four additional pictures of Garner shopping in Brentwood without sunglasses. She looks great. More pictures after the jump.

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“Lonesome Jim” featuring Liv Tyler, Casey Affleck, Mary Kay Place and Seymour Cassel permiered last night in NY. It is directed by Steve Buscemi. REM frontman Michael Stipe also made an appearance at the premiere.

Here is the plot summary from IMDB:

Lonesome Jim is hailed as a solid and enjoyable indie film and has been called “a small gem.”

Tyler was recently quoted slamming other actresses for acting like it’s easy to shed the post-baby weight. Unfortunately, we have to agree with her. (The gym may have daycare, but that doesn’t mean your kid will stay there the whole time without screaming for you.)

Despite what our friends at The Bastardly say, we think Tyler looks gorgeous.

17 more pictures including Polaroid candids after the jump.

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Kelly Osbourne lost 35 pounds and she says it’s due to cutting out “Jammie Dodgers,” a type of jam-filled British cookie that’s typically enjoyed with a cup of tea. We think it’s more attributable to her new life in London living alone:

The girl probably can’t cook a meal. Now that she has to fend for herself she probably isn’t eating as much because it’s too much work.