- Britney Spears changed her baby’s diaper - on a table in a restaurant Who the fuck would even consider that? (Dlisted)
- Jessica Simpson for W Magazine (Just Jared)
- Hillary Duff for Candies Home (Oh no they didn’t)
- Christina Aguilera looking like an old lady (Hollywood Tuna)
- The Oscars without the stars (Popbytes)
- Meg Ryan looks like a cgi version of herself (DListed)
- Kristy Swanson wins dating with celebrities (My mother said she has actually watched this) (Blog NYC)
- Erykah Badu and her dead fox scarf (The Bastardly)

Paula Abdul has been visibly intoxicated on American Idol for at least two seasons now. In some of last season’s auditions, Abdul’s slurred comments are edited down to the bare minimum, and the camera spends very little time on her. Trying to fend off rumors of drug abuse, Paula released a statement in April of last year that she was suffering from a rare neurological disorder that causes burning pain, Complex regional pain syndrome. Here’s what she said at the time:

Notice the distinction Paula makes between taking something for medical and recreational purposes. She never said she doesn’t take drugs, she just said that she doesn’t think she’s addicted and implied that if she is on medication, she needs it for medical reasons.

A year later and Paula’s condition doesn’t provide enough of an excuse. People think she needs to sober up before she goes on live TV, and newspapers are buzzing about her ridiculous behavior:

She went on to mumble something about a fortune cookies, a moth, cornflake, and a melon. This is true.

All of this comes on the heels of Paula’s breech of security at LAX.

Defamer has video of Paula’s breakdown on American Idol, and here’s a clip of a saner, buffer judge as Barry Bonds impersonates Paula Abdul.

The Post Chronicle reports that two different sources state that the webcam pictures of Clay Aiken may have been a hoax by entrepreneurs trying to promote a gay porn movie:

Coti Collins is a female impersonator who has toured with Reba McIntire and is the current “Miss Gay Florida America.” Even in this picture in full drag, she does bear a resemblance to Aiken.

Here’s an incredible video of the opening Simpsons credits filmed with real people. It’s meant to publicize the 17th season:

First Stapp’s career was ruined forever by the timely release of a sex tape, and now he’s getting sued by one of the female stars in the video:

The tape is now in limbo after Stapp and Rock won a temporary court order to prevent its distribution. I really hope that it comes out that Stapp released the video for self-promotion and is only whining about it to hide his involvement. Kid Rock says that Stapp’s an idiot and that the video will only help sales of his new album.

Pamela Anderson’s boob popped out yesterday while she was out with David LaChappelle at the Roosevelt Hotel in NY. Famous tranny Amanda Lepore seems to be with them. Unfortunately for Pam there’s a large scar visible on her nipple. I live in Europe and don’t consider a bit of boob to be NSFW. Sorry for not obscuring it properly, but a little nipple isn’t going to hurt anyone.

LaChappelle is the photographer who claims Jessica and Ashlee Simpson owe him $10,000 for not showing up for a scheduled photo shoot. [via]

Update: my husband claims this is Photoshopped. On second glance, it looks fake to me. The tip is a little lighter, the nipple is up too high and the scar is too big. Sorry for the hoax pic.

More thrilling balconey shots of world famous freeloader Kevin Federline. The woman with him is not Britney, but may be “Jenny, her manager’s girlfriend” according to posts on the bulletin board where I found the pictures. It doesn’t look like they’re doing more than hanging out, anyway.

Britney just bought a $5.1 million house in Hawaii and is going to release a new fragrance called “In Control.” It’s an ironic choice for a perfume name when her life is anything but “In Control.”

MTV’s college channel, mtvU, has a popular realtiy series called “Stand In” that has celebrities and musicians making surprise visits as college guest lecturers. Featured celebrities include Marilyn Manson, Madonna, Cameron Diaz, Snoop Dogg and Bill Gates:

“Stand In” strives to match celebrities with subjects they’re able to teach, and has actually turned away requests from celebrities. It’s widely popular on mtvU, and is offered on demand on the channel Uber. You can also watch episodes online. It will premiere on MTV proper on 3/5.

You know that if that happened in your school it would be on one of the days that you slept in with a hangover.

- Scarlet Johansson gets a nose ring (The Sun) and has tantric sex with Josh Hartnett (Celeb News Wire)
- Gisele Bundchen waves her ass at construction workers (Daily Dish)
- Playboy won’t pull Jessica Alba issue (MSNBC)
- Jessica Simpson is getting fat (The Superficial)
- Kelly Osbourne makes out with some guy from a band called Kasabian (Sky Showbiz)
- Reese Witherspoon can’t hide her A-type personality (Female First)
- Michelle Williams’ old school may be distancing itself from the Brokeback star, but Jake Gyllenhaal’s alma mater knows that being gay is the next big thing (TMZ)
- The entire gossip industry is staged (The Bastardly)
- Mel Gibson to speak Maya at the Oscars (Canoe) while Philip Seymour Hoffman may bark (Digital Spy)

The NY Times reveals the cut throat etiquette at Oscar parties, where only fresh nominated faces matter:

If you’re lucky enough to get invited to an Oscar party, you’re meant to talk to people you know, not drink or eat, keep a low profile, and never introduce your significant other. It sounds like so much fun.

Here are Kiera, Sienna, Nicky & Paris at the Endeavor Pre-Oscar Party on 3/4/05. The Endeavor party strives to be press-free:

Four more of Nicky and Kiera after the jump. Pictures [via]

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