Every relationship advice book I read when I was single said that the best way to get guys is to live it up, have a great time, and not act like you’re desperate. You’re supposed to date more than one guy, not open up too soon, and make them chase you. The way Teri Hatcher is going, she’s going to be single for a while or she’s going to end up in a lame codependant relationship.

She told her story about being violated by her uncle as a child in a partial bid to get back at George Clooney for not changing his stripes to stay with her for more than a month. Now she’s going to release a memoir chronicalling her sad love life.

Meanwhile Teri injured her eye on the set of Desperate Housewives after a lightbulb exploded, scratching her cornea. She sounds rather sorry for herself in her statements about it:

Teri - this is not the way to get men! You have to fake it until you make it. Please cheer up and look at the positive. Some people still think you’re sexy, but your attitude just ruins it.

Here she is with her daughter and ex husband at a horse event two days ago. [via] The guy must realize that he dodged a bullet.

Jennifer Garner has said that her ABC show Alias has run its course, but that she’s sad to leave her character Sydney behind. It sounds like she’s making the best of the situation:

Garner also missed doing her own stunts while she was pregnant, and was thrilled to get the change to jump off a ten-story building while filming the show last wekend:

Garner is a positive, friendly person and sounds so gracious in her comments about the series. Jennifer Aniston, Gwyneth Paltrow and Eva Longoria - take a note!

Here is Garner going to lunch with a friend at Spago. [via] (Pictures are low-res. Sorry about that.)

I don’t like Gwyneth Paltrow because she’s pretentious, so take my criticism or what it is - but why is she going out at night already? She just had a baby not even three weeks ago. Maybe she only popped out for a couple of hours, but newborns need to nurse about every 2-3 hours at that age. She could have pumped or he could be on formula, not that there’s anything wrong with that. If she’s nursing you’re not supposed to introduce a bottle until they’re a month old, though.

Yes, it’s really snarky to criticize her for getting some time alone, but you know, she’s so snotty and ungrateful that she deserves it.

Here she is at New York’s Food Bank Can-Do Awards Dinner on 4/25. Micheal Stipe was obviously there too. [via]

Nick came off so thoughtful and was quite flattering to Jessica in his interview with Rolling Stone. The fact that he refused to dish any dirt on Jessica and her crazy family led Rolling Stone to double-cross Nick and sell the story without his permission to Us Weekly.

Nick and Jessica had a little meeting at Jessica’s house to discuss his Rolling Stone interview:

Jessica has been seen wearing her wedding ring around her neck to remind her of happier times, and Nick said in his Rolling Stone interview that he still loves his estranged wife. We think they split up because Jessica was too immature to handle the relationship. Are they going to get back together?They both seem to love each other, so maybe they’ll give it another chance.

Here are two pictures from Jessica’s upcoming film, “Employee of the Month,” and some candids of her shopping for antiques in Hollywood. [via]

You’ve probably heard that Denise Richards and Heather Locklear had a falling out over the fact that Denise is dating Heather’s ex, Richie Sambora.

It turns out that they were best friends and lived right next door to each other LA. They also shared an on-screen girl-on-girl kiss in Locklear’s show Spin City

Heather told Denise she was dead to her after learning of Denise’s affair with her estranged husband:

Meow! Locklear can be as much as a bitch as the characters she portrays. Locklear suprised Sambora with divorce papers this February after 11 years of marriage. She is said to have discovered an e-mail sent to Sambora by a former assistant who enclosed nude pictures of herself. Locklear may be dating David Spade now, but there’s not a lot of evidence and Spade denies the relationship.

Denise Richards filed for divorce from Charlie Sheen in March after a tumultuous relationship. She alleges that Sheen threatened to kill her and was addicted to gambling, pain pills, and porn.

It looks like Richards and Sambora are pretty happy swapping partners with their neighbors. Too bad Locklear is so bitter about it. Pictures [via]

Update: Denise Richards urged Heather Locklear to file for divorce! No wonder she’s so pissed!

Nicole Richie recently redesigned her engagement ring from AM from their first go-around, preserving the stone to use in a new setting. The couple is said to be making it official this July:

That sounds romantic, although we have to disagree that Nicole has put on weight. The couple broke up in December, 2005, and reconciled about two months ago.

Richie must be feeling particularly tender toward AM. He is recovering from “follow-up” work for his 2003 gastric bypass surgery, widely rumored to be plastic surgery to remove excess skin.

Here is Richie leaving Jack and Jill restaurant in Beverly Hills, and a pictures of her and AM outside the hospital [via] [via]

Angelina revealed in an interview with Anne Curry that her due date is about a month away. She is now said to be expecting a boy that they’re planning on naming Africa:

People reported a couple weeks ago that Jolie bought clothing suitable for a little girl and was overheard saying that she was expecting a girl, so chances are high that either one of these rumors is true.

Meanwhile the Jolie-Pitt Naimibian wedding rumor is further fueled by the fact that Brad bought a special “wedding crystal” that local custom dictates grooms give to brides on their wedding day:

As Millie commented on our article about the rumored Namibian wedding, maybe Angelina will go through with it - as long as it’s a local ceremony and not legally binding in the states.

Thanks to Just Jared for these screencaps from Angelina’s Today show Interview. It aired this morning at 7am and will be shown in full on Dateline on Sunday at 7pm. Just Jared also has parts of the interview transcribed. Angelina is advocating for education for children around the world.

The Today show interview is not on YouTube yet, but you can watch it online with Internet Explorer only (cause it’s MSNBC of course). Here’s the video.

Here is another interview with Angelina from her pre-Brad days. She discusses a boy in Africa that she met during her UN ambassador work who particularly moved her. Try not to cry when you watch it.

Jamie Foxx took time off from his full schedule of sex to stop by MTV London studios while Tom Cruise was taping an interview to congratulate him on the birth of his baby daughter, Suri. Foxx delivered a pink crib full of Burberry baby accessories to the actor, and gushed about what a nice guy he is:

Tom may not have 95 bodyguards, but he does have an armoured car now. He bought a $180,000 USD armoured vehicle after receiving death threats against him and Katie.

Tom Cruise has joked that he asked Jamie Foxx to be an uncle to Suri:

Tom’s kind of funny, and with all these feel-good stories it’s easy to warm up to the guy. I have to remind myself that he’s touring around Europe while his wife is stuck at home with a new baby and the Scientology freaks, though. Have her parents even come to visit her yet?

There are a few more Cruise stories that we’ll post with the pictures from the MI Paris premiere shortly.

Here is Cruise at the MTV London studios with Jamie Foxx and with his daughter, Isabella. [via] She looks like she really looks up to him. The poor girl.

Britney Spears has a press conference scheduled for May 7th. She’s supposed to be announcing her pregnancy and may admit that she’s separated from Kevin: (please let the second part be true):

Now it really does sound like she’s pregnant. She’s probably not breaking up with K-Fed, though. The article says they haven’t been seen together in “weeks,” but that’s not true. They were just together in Vegas for his show at Pure, even though Britney didn’t attend.

Kevin has called Britney the inspiration for his terrible rap-like music and says that little Sean Preston just loves to listen to it:

Kevin is just so well-spoken, isn’t he? He also revealed his painful past and said he was involved with gangs in Fresno:

OMG that is funny. When someone says they’re not getting in details, they mean there are no details.

Here is Kevin walking to his car or something. When the photographer asked him if Britney is pregnant, he didn’t respond. [via] TMZ has a video of it and of Kevin driving around. I wasted a minute of my life watching it, please don’t make the same mistake.

In one of his creepier quotes, Cruise reveals that he has renamed his girlfriend “Kate” Holmes, because that just sounds more motherly to him:

Sure Holmes decided to change her name, the one she’s been using her entire life and her entire career, just because it sounded better. My name is Katie too, and to me Kate always sounded like a nickname for a younger person. Whatever. Holmes has changed everything else for Cruise, she may as well let him call her what he likes, too.

And Cruise calls her “child-bearing.” That’s very specific, and very strange language that seems to add credence to the rumors that she was inseminated.

In an MTV interview to air Sunday, Cruise says he would give up his achievements for his kids. That doesn’t quite jibe with his actions lately. He also said he would like to star in a film with Katie Kate:

Who says things like “I’m very properly in love?” That’s so strange and seems like an obvious put-on.

Cruise also attended the Paris premiere of MI3 yesterday. Michelle Monaghan attended, but the other big stars from the film were absent. Tom has a new baby at home but he still couldn’t stay away.

Here are pictures from the Paris premiere.