Some people with filtering software (at least ChicMommy) are being blocked from the site. This is most likely due to keywords like pr0n in our post about slutty Heather Mills, which proved surprisingly popular. This also caused some software on our host to throw weird errors for people trying to access the site a couple of days ago. We’re going to try to be less dirty in post titles.

We also have company this week, which explains our agitated zest for muckraking along with the slightly lighter posting schedule. It’s a busy summer so far.

By the way - where the hell is Suri?! All the celebrity newborns, including even Rachel Weisz’s baby, have been seen, but Suri is still a no-show. What’s wrong? (We just love hearing people comment about this.)

- Details of the Cruise-Holmes prenup are not credible until we see proof that there is an actual GD baby (MollyGood)
- The world’s most beautiful family and baby, Shiloh Jolie Pitt, are more lovely when illustrated. (Gallery of the Absurd)
- Jessica Alba has hot dolphin sex (Jordan is your Homeboy)
- Beyonce launches search for all-female band (Concrete Loop)
- Nicole picks up Paris’ leftovers (Faded Youth)
- Salma Hayek looking hot at the Swarovski Dinner (99 Monkeys)
- Da Brat raps with her pants down at the Hot 97 Summer Jam (Young Black and Fabulous)
- Mischa Barton drives a green Impala? (The Bastardly)
- Paris Hilton parks in handicapped spaces (WWTDD)
- Lindsay Lohan snorts a line of coke every 2 hours (yeeeah)
- Naomi Campbell wants a baby to beat on (Crunk and Disorderly)
- Geri Haliwell and Blueballs Madonna in a low-rent version of the Messiah Jolie-Pitt photospread (DListed)
- Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson’s divorce to be final on June 17th? (Socialite’s Life)
- Angelina Jolie replaces her Billy Bob tattoo with the latitude and longitude for Maddox and Zahara’s birthplace (I’m Not Obsessed)
- The Effects of 666 : Nicole Richie Splashes Water on Paparazzi (Gossipin)
- Janet Jackson’s freaky boob job (Egotastic)
- J.Lo says she’s not pregnant. Big surprise there. (PopSugar)
- Everyone is getting legally harassed to remove the Jolie-Pitt pictures. (popbytes)
- Fox News says Anne Coulter went too far even for them. (BlogNYC)
- The Lingerie Bowl Press Conference (Hollywood Tuna)

Thanks to Girlzilla at Oh No They Didn’t for pointing out that Aniston’s got a bump! It would be just like her to go and get pregnant out of spite.

Is she just slouching or could she really be having a Vaughn spawn?

At first I didn’t think this was true - then I looked at the HQ photos. I really believe she’s knocked up. My husband looked at these photos and said “She’s at that age where she’s getting desperate.”

She wore a tight dress to the Australian premiere of “The Break Up” on June 5th, so she’s not doing anything to try and hide it.

Aniston seems indifferent about having children. Although she says she wants them eventually she balked when asked by Regis if she ever babysits Coco Cox, Courtney’s daughter.

Aniston’s supposed boyfriend, her “Breakup” costar Vince Vaughn, told Oprah that he hasn’t talked about children with Aniston and that it’s a big deal for him:

We commented at the time that it sounds like Vince wants kids, just not with Jen.

Here are high quality images thanks to Hollywood’s Best from “The Break-Up” Australian Premiere on 6/5, press conference on 6/6, Chicago premiere on 5/29 and LA premiere on 5/22. She has a definite bump at all of these events.

For comparison, the last row has pictures of Aniston outside “The Late Show” on 5/24. Her stomach is perfectly flat there, so there is a chance that she is bloated in the other pictures. The woman is thin and toned though, and the bump is pretty pronounced, so we are inclined to think she’s pregnant.

TMZ reports that preparations are in high gear at Brad Pitt’s $9 million Malibu estate for the famous family’s return to the states this weekend. A van full of liquor pulled up on Wednesday, the secuirty system was upgraded, and the tennis court was covered again to create a large play area for Maddox.

In terms of the glass house offering a clear view from the ocean, there will probably be a tarmac put up to block the paparrazi just like at the Burning Shore Resort in Namibia.

The best part of the story is the fact that Brad and Angelina plan to have Shiloh sleep in the master bedroom with them. It’s a lot easier on mom and dad to have a newborn in the same room as they can respond quickly when she wakes to nurse, and everyone will get more sleep. It also sounds sweet and like they are loving parents.

This news seems accurate, because Brad and Angelina admitted during their Namibian press conference that they planned to return to the states within a few days. It should be a lot more comfortable in California for Brad, who was said to be fed up with the heat and seclusion in Africa. Will Angelina be content to stay in Malibu with her new family? We doubt it. Once Shiloh is a little older she’s bound to hightail it to France.

TMZ also has a video of Brad and Angelina’s press conference. Angelina talks about moving to Africa, International Refugee Day, and their donation to Namibian hospitals. Brad doesn’t say anything and is out of the frame until the end, when he kind of smirks and then catches himself and tries to look serious. She is pretty good at talking to the press and he seems content to let her do her thing.

This extended love scene from Mr. and Mrs. Smith makes it easy to see how Brad and Angelina hooked up on set. They have so much chemistry together:

And here’s a deleted scene of Brad and Angelina’s kissing at their on-screen wedding. This may be the only time they walk down the aisle.

Header picture [via]

Britian’s The Sun, which we do not trust, is reporting that Britney and Kevin spent the weekend together and that Britney is upset that Kevin wants to make a movie that glorifies his psuedo-gansta past, similar to “8 Mile,” except “8 Mile” was moderately accurate:

[via]

Now, if Britney and Kevin spent the weekend together, why do they mention it as an afterthought? They haven’t been photographed together in over two months and this would be huge news. The paparazzi follow them everywhere and there’s no way this part of the story is true.

It might be true that Kevin is planning a film based on his life though. That sounds like the sort of thing the incompetent rapper would try. He claims to have been in a gang in Fresno, California, but he was vague and declined to give details because there aren’t any.

Kevin, you’ve only hustled for Britney’s money, and that’s pretty inventive of you but it doesn’t really make you capable of a film career beyond the unwatchable “Chaotic.”

In related news, a couple of days ago we reported that Britney was going to design baby clothes. It’s probably true because sleuths at Socialite’s Life discovered that Britney has trademarked her infant son’s name, Sean Preston, suggesting that she’s planning a line of clothing under his name.

Here are outtakes from Britney’s magazine spread for Glamour UK. The official pictures came out in early May of this year. [via]

Lindsay Lohan says that she can’t settle down with one guy, and tries to explain away her sluttiness by claiming she’s like a guy:

Lohan says she’s not with McFly’s drummer Harry Judd, and that they’re “just friends,” but Judd’s bandmates wrote a song teasing him about hooking up with Lindsay, called “Please Please Lindsay Please.”

Here’s a story about the song on E! Daily. The lyrics: “You love yourself more than you love me.”

Judd must be one of the “several men who live overseas” Lindsay’s publicist says she dating. We suspect one of the other guys is Londoner Jamie Burke, Kate Moss’ ex.

Lindsay may have a good excuse for not being able to stick with one guy - she’s jacked up on so much cocaine that she needs constant excitement.

Lindsay is a busy girl, all right.

Here she is getting a less harmful stimulant and getting out of her car. [via]

Morissette and Ryan Reynolds have split after a two year engagement.
(Read more…)

We are bleeding heart liberals, and even we think this is dumb. Barbra Streisand says she’s going to tour for the first time in 12 years to bring awareness to the causes she’s interested in. And, get this, she will give “designated proceeds” to charity - her own charity. She doesn’t give an exact percentage or amount of course:

If you’re going to give money to charity, you should say exactly how much. It’s going to Babs’ own damn foundation, so you think she could commit to an amount if she’s going to put out a press release about it. She could earn up to $2 million a night for this tour, so it’s not like she can’t afford it.

Just like Heather Mills, Barbara Streisand has a snotty “Myth vs. Truth” section on her official website. Of course she should dispute inaccurate reports, but she does it in such an over-the-top self-satisfied way that it makes her seem reactionary.

On her website Streisand doesn’t address a NY Daily News report that she didn’t pay for tickets at a Malibu Movie theater with her husband, James Brolin. Stresiand sucked up to the young guy at the counter to avoid having to pay less than $20 to get in. Her publicist defended the cheapskate move, saying comping celebrities is a “professional courtesy that many theaters extend to film stars.”

Streisand will play 20 concerts in the US in October and November of this year.

Update: I actually read through several of the “Myth vs. Truth” sections of Babs’ website, and they’re not that over-the-top. The problem I have is with the name of the section coupled with the riduculous design of her website. It features a pink content area on a black background and has a dumb picture of Streisand holding roses while sitting on a pink silk chair as the header image. She should shell out the money to hire a more modern designer. Oh wait - she’s too cheap. Been there. Worked for those people. (Oh, I have this lovely picture I’d like to put on the top of every page. Could you blow it up too and make it the background?)

Yes, I know I already talked about these people today, but this is big news - it means that K-Fed realizes that his cash flow is about to be seriously restricted, and is resorting to a backup plan of living beyond his means like an average mallrat wannabe rapper from the ‘burbs:

Ok, so Kevin has a somewhat smarter plan - he hopes to stick Britney with the bill during the divorce. That means the big D-Day is coming, people!

Of course Kevin is said to be jealous of gorgeous helpful Perry, who is getting a lot more positive press as Britney’s bodyguard than K-Fed ever did as her deadbeat husband. He must be reading TMZ like the rest of us, because he can’t get jealous of Perry in person since he’s never been seen with him. He aso hasn’t been photographed with Britney in over two months.

Here are some scans from Star courtesy of BreatheHeavy.com. You can read Star’s article about Perry that’s similar to news we’ve already posted. He’s a great guy and is changing Sean Preston’s diapers, helping Britney around the house, and generally pissing off absent Kevin.

Maybe being humped by dolphins skeeved Jessica Alba out so bad that she became a germ-o-phobe, because she admits to using antibacterial Febreze liberally when she has to stay in hotels:

It’s not like Alba’s staying at the Comfort Inn, so she has a serious problem if she can’t trust the cleanliness at the Four Seasons or Ritz Carlton.

Alba hasn’t been seen with her boyfriend, Cash Warren, in some time. She was said to have broken his heart by deciding to move to NY in the near future, and may have discouraged him from proposing to her. Commentors on Jmazone.de note that Warren may be working in Vancouver, which could explain his absence.

Here is Alba admitting her problem to Jay on “The Tonight Show.” [via]