A little plastic surgery can go a long way. It turns out that it was a rumor that Ashlee Simpson was offered $4 million to pose for Playboy and turned it down. It’s stranger than fiction, though, that Ashlee is going to be the new face of the Victoria’s Secret “pink” line. She is also moving in with her boyfriend and guitarist for her band, Braxton Olita:

I could see her getting naked, but someone is paying her to model lingerie? That’s too much. Everyone is saying that she’s hot now that she looks just like Jessica, but she’s still an ugly little girl to me.

Ashlee started her U.S. tour last month, and little girls in Chuck Taylors are eagerly awaiting her arrival in their city. She told concert-goers in Washington, DC that “It’s OK not to be perfect”:

It might be ok not to be perfect, but she must have learned that lesson too late to take back her plastic surgery.

Here is Ashlee in July’s Marie Claire and in Elle UK. [via]

David Beckham announced his resignation as England’s captain after England lost their chances at the cup by losing to Portugal in penalty kick overtime 3-1 on Saturday.

“Our performance during this World Cup has not been enough to progress further, and both myself and all the players regret that, and I hurt… I hurt by that more than people realize”

Here is Beckham crying after his World Cup dreams were shattered:

And here he is announcing his resignation as World Cup captain:

Beckham is said to have made the decision after a heart-to-heart phone call with his wife, Victoria, who has supported him on the sidelines by losing even more weight and wearing skimpy outfits:

Here are pictures of Victoria Beckham crying after England lost on Saturday. [via] she is also seen arriving at the soccer stadium on 6/20 and outside of a restaurant in Stahlbad. Germany on 6/14. There are also some pics of her at a game with Cheryl Tweedy on 6/15. [via]

Uma Thurman vacationed in St. Tropez with her boyfriend, hotelier André Balazs.

Hello! Magazine has the details:

Uma’s big boobs are probably real, because they’re drooping convincingly.

Thurman has asked Hollywood not to write her off because she’s getting older, and says that actors get better with age.

Pictures [via]

Thanks to yeeeah for alerting me to these pics.

- Rachel Hunter shows off her breast implant scar while swimming (NSFW) [I’m not obsessed]
- Terry Hatcher in a bikini is not so ugly [yeeah]
- Lindsay Lohan bikini pictures [Egotastic]
- Pamela Anderson bikini pictures [Hollywood Tuna]
- Four year-old boy pageant winner flips off crowd, loses title of “Little Mr. Apricot” [Wizbang Pop]
- Are the British sore losers or just hooligans? [The Bastardly]
- Lindsay Lohan says she’s “never tried cocaine.” Didn’t she hint to Vanity Fair that she did? [A Socialite’s Life]
- Mischa Barton, Nicole Richie, and Rachel Bilson party with the Fonz’s daughter [MollyGood]
- Toni Braxton manages to perform with her clothes on. [Juicy News]
- K-Fed stocks up on junk food for 4th of July [DListed]
- Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner and Violet [Bricks and Stones]
- Jolie-Pitt-Stefani-Rossdale celebrity play date [Faded Youth]
- People scream for Bobbie Brown to get offstage at the Essence Music Festival [Concrete Loop]
- Holiday firework don’ts [CityRag]
- Pictures of ‘Lil Kim’s first day of freedom. Now she’s on 30-day house arrest. [Crunk and Disorderly]
- Lesbian inmate claims to have been “close friends” with ‘Lil Kim in prison [Media Take Out]

Here are recent high res photos of Lindsay Lohan and Pamela Anderson in bikinis. [via] Have a great 4th of July!

It looks like Vanity Fair’s strategy of denying stars the cover unless they dish lots of dirt has worked, because Hilary Swank blabs in an upcoming interview with the magazine that her ex, Chad Lowe, is an addict! She says he’s been sober for three years, but that his battle with substance abuse caused a serious rift in the relationship that they couldn’t repair.

It sounds like once Chad beat whatever drugs he was on things were never the same between them and it was impossible to overcome.

This happened to a friend of mine who was with her husband for over ten years. He got addicted to Oxycontin for back pain and completely changed. He became uncommunicative and withdrawn. They had a big blowout and ended up getting divorced. He has a new girlfriend and is still addicted to painkillers.

For an actress with two Oscars Hilary Swank doesn’t get a lot of attention in the press. This revelation will make people interested in her for a week or two. She’s sporty, down to earth, and normal and people don’t think that’s particularly exciting. She should follow this up by going shopping on Rodeo Drive and having dinner at The Ivy with a hot new guy.

In the upcoming interview, Hilary addresses the problems between her high=profile Hollywood career and her soon-to-be ex-husband’s lack of prospects, saying, “I think that any frustration for him stemmed from the lack of opportunities in his own career.”

Swank, 32, says she’s wary of the dating scene, “I thought of it - of that whole world - I can’t imagine it! I can’t imagine going out right now and trying to find someone else to be with.”

Relationship guru John Gray recommends that men and women do the opposite of their natural instincts when trying to recover from a breakup. Women should start dating right away while men should take time to nurse their wounds instead of jumping into another relationship. Maybe Hilary should take a page from Charlie Sheen and start looking online.

Here is Hilary in new ads from Clavin Klein and at a party for the perfume giant Guerlain, which she also represents, on 6/14. [via]

People should dress to fit their body type and not try to deny that they’re super-thin or carrying a few extra pounds. We call it a muffin top when chubby chicks try to wear tight jeans and short tops, and we need a suitable nickname for thin women showing off their concave chests. I was going to write something about Keira’s “dead woman’s chest,” but figured that would be too cliche. Something about pancakes would be suitable, but it’s not about flat chests as much as sunken sternums.

knightley wore a gold Gucci dress with a non-existent neckline to the premiere of “Pirates of the Caribbean 2″ in London that highlighted her skeletal frame. She was absolutely shocked that people think she might be anorexic and said that oh, anorexia runs in her family but of course she doesn’t have that problem:

She handled the question well by saying that she’s glad she helped stir up interest in the issue and that it’s good that people are talking about it.

She’s obviously in denial that she’s so thin, and shouldn’t be showing off her tiny body. Kate Bosworth must realize how she looks because she wore a tight but flattering dress to the “Superman Returns” premiere and didn’t look like the stick that she is.

Knightley has tried to play off her thinness by saying that she doesn’t diet or exercise and that she admires curves on women. She said in an interview with Elle magazine that she eats “bowls” of pasta and drinks plenty of wine:

It is was true that Knightley is eating “bowls” of pasta it would show on her frame. It’s also very telling that she says she’s not comfortable with herself, and calls Johansson’s hot body “decadent flesh.” Johansson is fit with curves and is not chubby at all. If Knightley thought Johansson looked good she would call her hot or curvy but instead she uses a description that is more suited to a side of beef. She obviously has problems with normal-looking women and isn’t going to gain weight until she faces reality.

Here are some candids of Knightley in London on 7/2, at a “Pirates of the Caribbean” photocall with Orlando Bloom and at the UK premiere on 7/3. [via]

There were reports that Britney was planning a “Chaotic 2″ to further pound her stardom into the ground, but that was yet another piece of fake news embellished by the British tabloids. They always put some bit of UK slang in there to give it away.

Perez Hilton called Britney’s rep, who denied that Britney was dumb enough to make another “Chaotic”. Plus Kevin would have to be around long enough to make the film.

Just like the rumor that Britney was going to give birth in Namibia, this originated with the satirical site “Postcards from the Pug Bus” and was picked up as real news, with fake quotes added for good measure, by the tabloids.

Here is K-Fed shopping for junk food on July 3rd. He looks awful. It was so much nicer to check out pictures of cutie Perry Taylor. [via] Oh - the gossip rags are reporting that Sean Preston was calling manny Perry “Da Da” and that’s part of the reason why K-Fed had him canned.

The Pirates of the Caribbean exhibit was unveiled at Madame Tussauds in London today. The wax artists are quite skilled at male characters as Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp’s waxworks look eerily close to the real thing. Keira Knightley’s wax figure looks like a female impersonator, though. Maybe that’s why they tried to hide her underneath some falling hair.

People are speculating that Keira Knightley’s live-in relationship with fellow actor Rupert Friend won’t last long. He complained about his girlfriend having to kiss her hot costars in “Pirates” and said that she’s hardly ever home. Keira admitted to working too hard, and says that she needs to take time off, but not because of Rupert:

It doesn’t sound like Keira and Rupert are doing too well if they speak so poorly of each other to the press.

Here are the wax figures of Keira, Johnny and Orlando.

Lindsay’s full of shit lately. Her boobs look like two basketballs stuffed under her skin, but she has attributed their strange shape and quick growth to natural causes. This latest quote is undoubtedly made up, because there’s no source listed and it’s worded like a typical Brit would phrase it, but it’s not beneath us to repeat it or attribute it to her. She said something like this before, but it’s impossible to google since all the keywords are kind of dirty:

[via]

It’s probably not true that she actually said that this time around unless someone changed the quote to sound British, but in an interview with The Mirror she did deny every trying cocaine, and credited her druggie dad for her abstinence:

Lohan also admits that she was too thin and wasn’t eating right, and said she turned her health around by exercising. She says she parties a lot but that “it’s nothing too decadent and probably not half as wild as what goes on at university fraternity parties.” It’s good that she’s no longer in denial about her body at least.

Here she is in various beach shots this week.

Thanks to Hollywoods Best, Egotastic, and Mollygood for the photos. x17online also points out her freckled butt.

Matthew McConaughey has been letting himself go since his split with Penelope Cruz. He was photographed with a bit of a beer belly at a party he threw on the 4th of July:

Yeah, Matt still looks hot with a few extra pounds. He looks like he needs to suck his stomach in. He can whip himself back into stinky shape if he needs to. A few laps around the trailer park should do it.

Update: Matt doesn’t look quite as fat when he’s taking a jog on the beach. (inset picture via People Magazine)

Here’s his ex, Penelope Cruz, out with a friend in Beverly Hills on 6/28. You don’t see a lot of paparrazi pictures of her and she doesn’t look like she minds being photographed. [via]