Lindsay Lohan wrote an e-mail to gossip mogul Perez Hilton damning the hoards of paparrazi that follow her everywhere. Before you question the authenticity of the e-mail, Perez has hung out with Lohan. He also works out of a Hollywood coffee shop that stars frequent, and just saw Lohan on Wednesday morning. Her grammar isn’t that great, but she’s probably dashing off the message on her Blackberry while surrounded by photographers:

The paparrazi are going too far if some kids almost got hit.

So Lindsay feels sorry for herself? Judging from the amount of photographs of Lindsay that hit the ‘net on a daily basis, she must have a hard time just getting away from it all.

She seems torn between loving the publicity and nightlife and wanting to have a little peace and quiet. She certainly plays to the cameras when it’s to her advantage.

Maybe if she quit showing up for every event she could stem her popularity just enough to get some precious alone time. It might do wonders for her credibility, too.

A new editorial claims Lindsay is headed for Tara Reid country and that she’s the one who courts disaster. We have to agree:

Slow down, Lindsay, and the paparazzi will too. You don’t need to be roadkill.

Here is Lohan at the Saturn X Games kickoff party on 8/2. I don’t know who the guy is that she’s posing with, but some of you probably do. [via]

Kevin Federline’s new single is a mess. He uses other talent for most of the rapping, which makes it more mature than Papazoa and that other shitty song he had out. (Which isn’t saying much.) It’s too fast, though, and not catchy at all.

I don’t know much about rap, but I know what sounds good and this is just repetitive without being memorable. They mix in way too many samples and it’s pretty awful.

Diddy was supposedly set to propose to his longterm girlfriend, Kim Porter, but news got out that a woman in Atlanta just had a baby that she claims is his, and Kim is mighty pissed. He’s due to take a paternity test and the results might be quite expensive for him:

My god that’s some high child support. He shells out 50k a month for two kids! With another potential baby, he’s looking at around $75k.

We’ll have to see how this one turns out, but he may be on the market again if that baby turns out to be his.

Here are some pictures of Diddy and Kim porter shooting an ad for his Sean Jean cologne in Monaco.

Pictures from Concrete Loop.

The model Kid Rock was dating right before he reconciled with Pamela Anderson is heartbroken by how quickly he moved on - and how coldly he dumped her. Jill Marie Gulseth, 22, tells In Touch that Kid Rock broke up with her unexpectedly via text message:

The future’s kind of hazy with Kid Rock, and this naive chick is much better off without him.

It seems to be kind of popular among rock stars to dump their girlfriends via SMS. Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine told Jessica Simpson he was “really busy” and “needed space” in a text message. The poor girl never saw him again.

Picture from x17online.

Someone please stop Madonna before she’s damned to hell. She’s using the same old tired “offend all the Christians” gimmick to generate controversy over her geriatric tour. She refused to take the hanging on a cross bit out of her show for the televised version of her concert, and she also declined to take it out when she plays Rome right near the Vatican. Now she’s upped the ante a bit by inviting the creepy Pope himself to her show:

That’s so fucking stupid! Madonna can’t stand being out of the spotlight for five minutes, and she has to offend everyone who isn’t a member of her crazy cult religion.

I’m not religious at all, but I just think that’s ridiculous. Madonna can put all the sexy bits in that she wants, but why does she have to mess with religious symbolism so blatantly?

Yeah sure, Madonna, the Pope’s going to be impressed by your tribute to “humanity.” Give me a break.

Tara Reid squeezed some hapless bearded man in between her ankles while out for a swim. She might have been on vacation from her life of drinking and showing up at events, but it was probably just a day at the beach since she was seen at an X-Games kickoff party on 8/2.

The Chic Mommy has an hilarious Tara Reid interview, in which she says her “hooters are under control.” They were making most of it up though. Sky.co.uk had the original from an FHM interview back in February, and it has some real gems:

Yeah, you heard that already, I know. Poor Tara hasn’t got a chance.

The girl’s face looks like wax, but she’s actually quite pretty when she cleans up. Tara serves as a good example for why one should stay off the juice.

Here is Tara with her mystery man [from Teddy & Moo] and at the X-Games kickoff party on 8/2. [From Hollywood's Best]

- Penelope Cruz swears she’s met Suri. [A Socialite's Life]
- Ex porn star Asia Carerra had an uncomplicated, unassisted home birth just six weeks after her husband died in a car accident. [Celebrity Baby Blog]
- Carmen Electra becomes the face of a new diet pill that’s also supposed to make you pretty [CelebGuru]
- Star Jones’ husband, Al Reynolds, got a boody call in the middle of the night from a big guy in a hat [Hollywood Rag]
- Is Eva Mendes in Kabbalah? She’s wearing a red string on her left wrist. [The Bastardly]
- Those kids that Lindsay Lohan claims were almost killed by the paparrazi in that crazy e-mail she sent? They were taking camera phone pictures of her. [Mollygood]
- Ashlee Simpson’s upskirt photos reveal that she wears white panties. [Egotastic]
- Jessica Simpson wants to start her own line of bras [Junkiness]
- Jennifer Aniston got a new dog to replace the one she just dumped. [Just Jared]
- Paris Hilton swears she’s just had sex with a “couple of boyfriends.” The rest of the guys were random hookups. [yeeeah]
- Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Saarsgard at the The World Trade Center premiere. [PopSugar]
- Barney the Doberman ripped up a bunch of the priceless teddybears he was hired to guard. [DListed]
- Jennifer Lopez drops out of the Dallas remake [Jordan is your Homeboy]
- Brad Pitt looks extra DILF-y [Hot Momma Drama]

The story that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn broke up may not be true. Jen might be hanging out with her famous gal pals, and she just got a new dog and all, but she was spotted out with Vince this Tuesday night. They both look miserable, though, that’s something:

The news came out at the end of July that these two broke up and has only gradually picked up steam. Maybe they’re just not spending much time together or have a rocky relationship. It’s certainly suspect that they never went public with it.

Thanks to KevinFFan at JJB for finding this.

In this clip for an upcoming MTV special, Paris Hilton talks about her love of singing, how she worked harder for it than anything in her life, and how she’s wanted to sing since she was a little girl. She delivers these lines while sitting back on a couch and never changing the tone of her voice. She looks completely bored, like it doesn’t really interest her to discuss her newfound music career, and she’s doing it because she has to.

Paris Hilton is less excited making her crappy bubblegum music than the average secretary doing her daily job. Can you imagine if you called an office and the person answering the phone was as devoid of emotion as Paris? If it was a high-powered executive’s office, you would wonder why they put up with such a bad assistant.

In Paris Hilton’s case, you wonder why she bothers to get up in the morning. Is she really depressed or just bored with life?

Media analysts have called Paris Hilton a “palette cleanser” and said that she’s the perfect brand advertisement because she can be anything you want her to be. With no real passions or obvious interests beyond shopping and showing up for stuff, it’s obvious why. She just doesn’t give a shit what you do with her.

Look, she blends in with the background perfectly. She’s like a pillow that coordinates with everything.

Ludacris recently got rid of his trademark braids to prepare for the release of his new, more mature album. He says that people don’t really know who he is as a person and that his music now reflects his more serious concerns:

Ludacris has been known for his comedic style, and this is a departure for him. He is also making a name for himself as an actor with roles in “Crash” and “Hustle and Flow.”

Now Ludacris is showing how mature and kind he really is. Hewent to the prom with a young fan who is wheelchair-bound:

These quotes make it seem like it’s coming up, but prom season was a few months ago, so I did a little research and found out that this happened in 2004. The news must be resurfacing now because of a recent interview. Whatever the reason, that was quite kind of Ludacris and it doesn’t seem like he did it for the recognition. It turns out Ludacris has a whole charitable foundation (site has automatic music) that’s dedicated to helping young people achieve their dreams.

I have an auto-immune disorder like MS and have to use a wheelchair when I’m having a bad relapse. It’s a very humbling experience and people do stare at you as if you don’t exist and can’t see them. Others look away right away as if it’s too painful for them to have to think about a young person who’s disabled. (The best way to deal with someone in a wheelchair is just to look if you’re curious, but not stare. If you catch someone’s eye, smile at them. Don’t pity someone just because they have a disability.)

I’m really lucky because most of the time I can get around fine and even exercise, and I’ve only been sick for a few years. I would never suggest that needing a wheelchair for periods of time is the same as needing one permanently, but If I had this when I was in high school, I totally would have tried to get Matt Damon to take me to the prom. Is that dishonest?

Here is Ludacris with his new look at KUBE 93’s Summer Jam on 7/29, courtesy of Cake and Ice Cream.