This is completely worthless to report on, and I wasn’t going to cover this at all, but it was picked up on WeSmirch and Oh No they Didn’t, so I thought I would throw in my two cents.

Perez ran a quickie, much-maligned story claiming that recent candids of Kate Hudson show that she’s got six toes. She does not have six toes, but her left foot is shaped so that the pinky toe does not align with the side of her foot, making the extra bit of foot at the end look like another toe.

In case you’re interested, I’ve found the HQs and have blown up the foot area. Sorry for wasting everyone’s time, but after I did the ten minutes of research on this I figured I may as well run this story.

My husband thinks feet should be cute, and he always cringes at Uma Thurman now that her feet were revealed in such ugly detail in “Kill Bill.” Kate Hudson’s feet are a bit misshapen, but who really cares except guys like my husband who make the rest of us feel better by criticizing gorgeous women for having ugly feet?

Here are the high res versions of Kate Hudson’s feet. In case you’re more interested in the rest of her, the original candids are here. Carry on and please ignore this worthless story if you’ve got better things to do.

Here’s the latest in news stories:
- Keith Richards got wasted for his first day playing Johnny Depp’s father on the “Pirates of the Caribbean” set. He was so drunk the director had to hold him up. He was probably just getting into character. [Celebrity Week]
- John Mayer says he’s relieved to be out of the spotlight, then shows off his Photoshop skills by copying the photo tags of celebrity bloggers in a parody post to his blog. [John Mayer]
- Brad and Angelina’s recent announcement that they’re starting a charity and donating $2 million may have been in response to questions about whether they’ve actually given away any of the cash they’ve made from Shiloh’s debut pictures [Radar Online]
- Jessica Simpson was banned from signing solos in her church when she was a ‘teen, because it was claimed she would make male congregation members horny [Starpulse]
- Surprising no one, Oprah really isn’t just like us, and is a bit of a diva bitch. [MSNBC]
- David Hasselhoff’s 14 year-old daughter, Hayley, cut herself and may have attempted suicide. [TMZ]

Lindsay’s publicist is denying reports that her client was dumped by Pink Taco founder Harry Morton on Thursday night. Morton was said to done the old “break up in a public place so they don’t cause a scene” trick by giving her the news after dinner at Chateau Marmont. A friend of Lindsay’s is quoted as saying that that on-again off-again relationships are just par for the course for 20-somethings, and that they’re still together:

Even if Harry took her back or recanted or whatever, once one of the parties tells the other that they want time off or that they want a split, the relationship is usually doomed.

It looks like Lohan’s summer romance is over. Maybe she should try to go to college now before she gets too old. There are plenty of single guys there.

Audrey Hepburn’s dance in 1957’s “Funny Girl” “Funny Face” has been appropriated by failing retail giant Gap to sell skinny black pants. Set to AC/DCs “Back in Black” the spot puts Hepburn, who passed away in 1993, against a tan background while using cheap kaleidoscope image manipulation tricks and star art to make the dance segment seem more modern.

It’s dumb, it’s not catchy, and it won’t do much for Gap except generate controversy:

The LA Times reports that Hepburn is one of the most marketable dead celebrities, ranking just third among late female starlets:

Gap has admitted that people don’t really care about their crappy clothes or ads starring forgettable celebrities, and that they just want people to notice them again:

Madonna would agree with you, Gap marketing person.

Lindsay Lohan’s jailed father Michael is so desperate to contact his tabloid-target daughter that he sent a handwritten letter to British rag The Sun. His rambling message of love warns Lindsay that she’s being taken advantage of by lecherous Hollywood, and seems to even blame her recent troubles on her bad relationship with him. He tells her to put her faith in God like he has done in hope of an early release:

This gushing public letter from her dad is the last thing Lohan needs just after the news of her maybe-split with Harry went public. I don’t like Lohan, but I kind of feel sorry for her when she has to deal with stuff like this. Her mom parties with her while her dad is stuck in jail, trying to remind the public that he still exists and wants a chunk of her cash.

Here are a bunch of pictures of Lohan in California on Sunday. [via]

That server migration is turning out to be a royal, confusing pain in the ass. I was focusing on that and didn’t have much time left for the gossip today. Here are today’s links. Tomorrow I’ll just focus on the gossip and get the damn server sorted out later.

- Lindsay Lohan made out with Stavros Niarchos at a club, which means Harry probably did dump her [The Dark Hat]
- Scarlet Johansson wants to bring Hammer pants back [Mollygood]
- It’s really funny to watch the Jackass 2 crew sublimate their urge to fuck each other [Pajiba]
- Winona Ryder believes dead family members guide her career [ICYDK]
- Is celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe really a glorified drug dealer? [The Trixie]
- Jessica Simpson’s Allure spread makes her look even more vacant than usual [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Why is Jessica Simpson making that face? [Gabsmash]
- No one wanted to pay $25g to hang out with Paula Abdul when they can just volunteer at the local old folks home to get a taste of crazy [Haute Gossip]
- Fergie can’t remember if she’s had a meth-fueled orgie or not [yeeeah]
- First Jared Leto makes fun of bloggers, then he dresses like a complete idiot psuedo-revolutionary and justs asks for us to rip him a new one [Best Week Ever]
- Paris Hilton at Oktoberfest [Hot Momma Drama]
- When celebrities were young and carefree [CityRag]
- Orlando Bloom wanted his co-star in “Haven,” Zoe Saldana to take her tongue out of his mouth [Socialite's Life]
- Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes at yet another sporting event [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
- Do Madonna and Guy want to adopt African twins? [Glitterati]
- The Bastardly has a lady of the day again. Go make fun of her [Bastardly]
- Christopher Walken in drag [Agent Bedhead]
- Candids of the Beckham Family [Just Jared]
- Are Kate and Pete finally going to get married? [PopSugar]
- George Michael’s new concert involved a giant blow-up doll of George Bush getting blown by a British bulldog [DListed]

Is everyone else as over Jennifer Aniston as I am? These shots of her walking a bunch of dogs on the beach kind of capture it all for me. It’s the end of summer and she’s got a great body but is otherwise forgettable in a white tank top and old cut off shorts.

She was ranked number one in People’s best dressed list, but it must have been judged by Simon Cowell because all she ever wears is drab black.

Next month she’s going to appear with other stars in a one-day Broadway benefit with the proceeds to go to bringing the arts to underprivileged NY City kids. Despite what some commentors claim, this is the first I’ve heard of her doing charity work.

What is with all the dogs here? Are they all hers or is she puppy-sitting? She got a new dog just a few weeks ago, and it looks like she has added to the pack.

I got this caption idea from Hot Momma Drama, and the pictures are from Lime-Light.

Vera at “I’m Not Obsessed” has a hot guy of the day, so I figure Cele|bitchy can feature a male model once in a while. French model Jeremy Dufour is just 20 years old, so I should feel guilty for posting these pictures of him, but why have a double-standard for guys? There are plenty of pictures of Lohan, and she’s just 20.

Hot model Jeremy Dufour was discovered by a photographer while riding the Paris subway, got picked up by a management agency and quickly hit it big:

You can find more about Jeremy on his Model Hommes bulletin board. Pictures of Jeremy on the catwalk from Hollywood’s Best and his ads were found at Model Hommes.

Leonardo DiCaprio appears in a hot spread in Details Magazine. With two films coming out, there are plenty of quotes from Leo in the press.

There are a bunch of quotes from Leo about his lovelife that were published in News of the World. They sound like bullshit quotes to me, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were made up. Some of them are real doozies:

The Sun has some more likely quotes from Leo, in which he talks about how ridiculous fame is, and how girls started leeching onto him after he hit it big with “Titanic”:

Leo has certainly been successful in only taking on worthwhile projects. With an Oscar nomination under his belt, and more juicy roles in the can, he’s sure to continue to be a box office and critical success.

Leo is next appearing in “The Departed” along with Jack Nicholson, and also stars in the upcoming “Blood Diamond.”

Pictures from JJB.

Let’s hope for Tori Spelling’s sake that she really is knocked up and isn’t just wearing big tops to hide the fact that she’s getting a bit chub. She wore a form-fitting dress that showed off a rather prominent bump a couple of weeks ago, so it’s most likely that she’s pregnant. She also reportedly registered for a bunch of high-end baby items at chic boutique Petit Tresor, showing just how unlikely it is that she’ll come to terms with her financial situation any time soon.

She did buy a used bike and notify the paparrazi, though. She seems to bring a photographer along whenever she visits a pawn shop, and it’s doubtful that she’s scrimping consistently.

Tori doesn’t have to rely solely on the cash she gets from tipping off photographers whenever she bargain shops. She landed a guest gig as a gossip columnist villian on “Smallville” this season. Now that’s a role that Tori will bring a lot of firsthand knowledge to.