Harry Morton seems to regret his summer fling with Lindsay Lohan, and has confirmed that he’s broken up with her. He tells the show “Extra” that they’re taking a break and is careful to make it seem like it’s mutual. It’s clear he wants to stop the madness and get on with his life. Here is what Harry said and what I think he actually means:

The sex was amazing, but no sex could be good enough to justify the stress and constant drama of dealing with Lindsay. The girl called me 10 times a day and acted crazy whenever I talked to another women. I had to get the hell away from her before she sucked me completely into her vortex of constant partying with breaks for shopping.

She fucking loves the attention of the paparrazi and I can’t stand it. I tried to play along with it, but it only made things much worse. She puts her dirty life under a microscope and expects me to crawl into that tiny, confining space with her. I was totally smothered and I couldn’t stand it.

Get her the hell away from me so I can breathe again. Please let her move on quickly so I can get on with my life.

This is a viral marketing campaign for Remington, but it’s so subtle and entertaining that it deserves a watch. There’s not a lot of pubic hair on display, it’s mostly covered up and stylized with feathers, but there’s plenty of T&A, so hide it if you’re watching at work.

Pubic Hair Fashion Show - video powered by Metacafe

SkyShowbiz had this gallery of celebrity before and after pictures and it struck me how much some of their faces had changed. No one can blame celebrities for getting plastic surgery and I’m not bashing them for making that choice. Plastic surgery is a cultural phenomenon influenced by a perfectionist society obsessed with beauty. (Yes that’s not big news and this reads like a high school essay.) It’s also something that you might consider if all your friends and colleagues were doing it. My mom had a face lift mainly because her best friend had one. A friend of mine who lives in California had a nose job, and I didn’t think she needed one, but all her friends had work done and it seemed perfectly normal to her.

I’m not a person who is going to age gracefully and I plan on getting a facelift in 20 to 30 years. Maybe there will be less cutting involved at that point.

You can access the galleries through the images below. In some cases the celebrities have admitted to having work done. I just eyeballed the pictures and made judgment calls. If you have more information or a different opinion about a particular celebrity please comment with it. I don’t think I’m right in every case and am open to other opinions.

It’s telling how most of the “natural” celebrities in the gallery are men.

Nose Jobs and more: page one

Nose Jobs and more: page two

Very subtle or unchanged: page one

Very subtle or unchanged: page two

Here’s a video interview along with footage from Ashlee Simpson’s performance in Chicago. Commentors on Oh No They Didn’t, where we found the video, are divided. Some people think she’s great while other says she’s got no stage performance, is mediocre or just plain bad.

She strikes me a really dumb in her interview, but at least she’s enthusiastic and gracious. Personally I think she’s a good performer and can actually sing, even if it’s not amazing. Plus I’m kind of blown away with how gorgeous she looks on video now.

Whenever I come across new pictures of Brad Pitt I hear this little high note in my brain like angels singing. No matter if you’re into skinny or beefy guys, blondes or brunettes, Brad Pitt is your type.

Brad Pitt is planning to collaborate with Sacha Baron Cohen, aka Ali G/Borat, on a new project. He loved the Borat movie and has reportedly spoken to Cohen about working together on a film in the future.

He is also co-producing a TV show with Nip/Tuck creator Ryan Murphy about the life of a married transsexual sportswriter. Yes, it sounds odd but it could be good:

With all this work coming up, it’s no wonder the gossip rags are reporting that Brad is burning the candle at both ends. Life and Style says that Brad is so exhausted and overwhelmed that George Clooney has been giving him advice on how to slow down. They say he fell asleep on his trailer on the “Oceans 13″ set and that Clooney told him to rest up. They’re most likely basing their conclusions on candids of Brad like they usually do.

Thanks to SimplyBrad.com for these pictures.

There’s not a lot drama in Charlize’s life and she manages to stay out of the tabloids most of the time. It’s nice to see these pictures of her shopping instead of out at a club or event, although she looks rather pissed to be photographed.

Charlize was spotted wearing what looked like an engagement ring to several recent events, and although there was no announcement we assumed that she was engaged to her boyfriend of four years, Irish actor Stuart Townsend. It doesn’t seem like much has come of that, and if she does have a ring she’s not wearing it out everyday as there’s no sign of it on her left hand in these pictures.

Theron may sign on for a thriller by “Crash” director Paul Haggis, about a father who discovers his son is not AWOL as the army claims, but has been murdered;

Here is Theron’s wedgie picture.

Pictures from Celebrity Nation.

I didn’t report on this yesterday because it sounds like the British newspapers are trying to stir up controversy about the Simpson family (not that they don’t create enough of it on their own), but Jessica is said to be grumpy and distraught at being in Ashlee’s shadow for once. She supposedly was in a mood at Ashlee’s “Chicago” opening after-party, said she didn’t want to be there and left in a huff. There was a quote from Joe Simpson in the ever-reliable Mirror that is particularly suspect.

Then the poor girl had a stomach problem and had to postpone a commercial shoot. I would say it’s in poor taste to discuss a celebrity’s, uh movements that way, but Jessica gleefully told everyone watching her reality show that she was going to drop her kids off at the pool, so she kind of deserves the scrutiny:

This sounds like an exaggeration. She probably feels a bit down because her ex has moved on and her sister is in the spotlight, but whether she actually left Ashlee’s party or not and what the circumstances were is hard to tell.

Oh, and The New York Post has redesigned. It’s prettier, but the usability is shitty and overall I think it’s a mess. Too many graphics and colors compete for your attention. They also ripped off Gawker’s Stalker maps.

Here is Jessica out at Mr. Chow in London on Tuesday night. She seems to realize that her dress is see through and tries to cover up with her big purse.

Thanks to SweetKisses.net for these pictures.

Angelina Jolie was photographed visiting her ailing mom, French-born actress Marcheline Bertrand, at the Beverly Hills Ermitage Hotel. She was stopping in to see her mom before heading to India to film “A Mighty Heart,” about the death of journalist Daniel Pearl. Angelina and Brad will be flying to India the first week in October, and should stay about a month:

Angelina is also set to be featured in a sexy spread in January’s Vogue shot by famed photographer Annie Leibowitz. Angelina is said to be re-establishing her status as a sex symbol following the birth of her first biological child, but it doesn’t seem like needs to, because people consider her as sexy as ever.

Header picture from Faded Youth.

Poor Sienna Miller. She’s gotten so used to wearing her TJ Maxx leggings and ratty old t-shirts that she’s forgotten how to carry herself in an evening gown. While attending the Metropolitan Opera in New York recently, Sienna arrived with her lovely dress in one piece. But by the time she was leaving, she was lucky it was still hanging onto her body. Apparently, either she or someone else stepped on the dress and ripped the skirt away from the bodice. Maybe next time she’ll remember to hold up her dress when she walks, or better yet, get it hemmed by a tailor to fit her petite frame.

DUI’s, nip slips, vag slips, damn she even carries her own handcuffs on her purse (I wonder who she’s planning to put those on tonight, hmm?). Yes people, Paris Hilton is one messed up girl. If you have ever wondered why Paris Hilton is the way she is, just take a look at her mother, Kathy Hilton.

The dirty ho doesn’t fall too far from the dirty ho tree.