Perez Hilton claims to have an exclusive that Kelly Osbourne pissed off her entire family by marrying a guy she’s only known for one week. What’s worse is that the two were married at an Irish rock festival in a blow-up castle!

If this is actually true, how long will it take until they get it annulled? I give it a full 4-6 weeks, because Kelly seems a lot more mature now.

Update Thanks to pinklumpysugar on Lime-Light.org for alerting me to the fact that fake weddings are part of the Electric Picnic music ceremony in Ireland, and that Kelly’s wedding was just for laughs:

Update And thanks to Sky.co.uk for these photos post-ceremony, and confirmation that it was indeed a gag. Kelly’s boyfriend is Matt Derham of The Field. I’ve never heard of him, either:

Here are some pictures from X17 online of Kelly kicking a ball on the beach in early August. She looks like she’s so ready to be a wife and mother. In fact she looks like she’s had a couple kids already. You go Kelly!

Lindsay Lohan was in Hawaii with her boyfriend, Pink Taco head Harry Morton, and the paps got plenty of photos and videos of them during their vacation. It looks like they were putting on a little show for the cameras as Harry grabs Lindsay’s boob suggestively and tilts her back while they kiss.

Rumor has it that Harry bought Lindsay an engagement ring at Cartier and was planning on popping the question. It may have happened as X17 has pictures of Lindsay wearing a big ‘ol ring on her left ring finger as she leaves Hawaii. It’s non-traditional if it’s an engagement ring, but Lindsay isn’t really a conventional girl.

X17 also has video of Harry and Lindsay at the airport. Poor Lindsay holds up her own camera and pitifully snaps random shots of all the surrounding paparrazi as a piss-poor defense. When the annoying cameraman following them asks Harry if they’re going to elope or get married, he says “maybe.”

Lindsay’s mom told Star magazine that she’s not engaged, but it could be true and she might not know about it:

It could be a promise ring or something. Lindsay seems to be smitten if she skipped the VMAs for this guy. Then again, she wasn’t missing much.

Pictures from Hollywood’s Best and taken by X17.

Kate Moss appears in an artsy dream-sequence type video for high-end lingerie brand Agent Provacateur. Here is the first video of four, titled “Dreams of Miss X.” The title reminds me of the famous S&M novel “The Story of O.”

In later videos, Kate is said to be getting naked, but we’ve already seen her topless in quite a few photoshoots so that’s nothing novel.

Thanks to RogueConnect for finding this.

David Beckham has said that his wife Victoria is indeed pregnant, as all the tabs have speculated:

In mid-August, Britain’s Daily Star said that Victoria was pregnant , but they may have been speculating. Victoria and David were open about trying for another child, and they are said to want a girl. They have three boys, Brooklyn, 6, Romeo, nearly 4, and Cruz, one and a half, all born by cesarean section. Victoria has said that if she has a girl she would like to name her “Luna.”

Here are pictures of Victoria out with her girlfriends looking wasted on 8/22. Let’s hope she didn’t know she was pregnant at that point, and that she’s taking her fish oil now. Her body doesn’t look capable of holding up her head, not to mention nurturing a child.

Update People Magazine is reporting that Beckham didn’t understand the question, and merely said “Si” when asked. Their rep says Posh isn’t pregnant:

Thanks to Haute Gossip for pointing out that Kate Hudson has a bare left ring finger in these candids of her leaving Nobu in Malibu with some poorly-dressed friends on Friday. Word was that Kate and Chris Hudson might reconcile after announcing their separation just three weeks ago. They were seen out with their three year-old son, Ryder, and there was a rumor that they were going to attend a NASCAR event together. That doesn’t seem too romantic, and it might not have been enough to save their marriage.

Chris was said to have involved Kate in threesomes and group sex while on tour with his band, The Black Crowes. There was a recent blind item in the NY Post that suggested that a famous woman involved in a high-profile breakup was more into the women in the menage a trois she was involved with than her husband. Many people assumed it was about Hudson. Let’s hope the chicks she liked were hotter than the ones she’s hanging out with now.

Pictures from Hollywood’s Best.

The cameras were rolling when Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin met his demise at the unlikely end of a stingray, and Britain’s Daily Star speculates that we’ll get to see his horrible last moments, because he always told his crew to keep filming, even if he was in mortal danger:

The footage is said to graphically show Steve pulling out the stingray’s barb before his death:

There are no details about when and if the footage will get shown, and it’s clear that the Daily Star is just basing its conclusion on statements Irwin made. I for one would not want to see the film. I’ve heard of those “Faces of Death” films, and I’ve never watched one as I know the scenes would haunt me. It bothers me just to think about it.

Photos of a baby that’s proportedly Suri Cruise will be published in Vanity Fair tomorrow. Tom and Katie supposedly had the pictures taken by famous photographer Annie Liebowitz soon after “little” Suri’s birth, so her current age is impossible to tell. Speculation is rampant that Katie was already pregnant when she hooked up with Cruise, which would explain the suspect birth certificate, the couples’ unwillingness to take the baby out in public, and the odd size variations in Katie’s pregnant belly. Cruise has no other biological children, and is said to be sterile.

Katie was photographed looking tired and dazed outside of an LA spa, where she was treated to a much-needed massage.

Katie and Tom are said to have insisted on perfect pictures of their newborn. The photoshoot took place over 21 days and required lots of retouching. Suri was rumored to be a “runt” at the time, but in all likelihood she’s much bigger than she should be for a four and a half month-old.

In the only pictures seen of Suri so far, taken via helicopter outside the Cruise compound, Suri looks much bigger than a four month-old baby.

Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox were photographed canoodling at a party in Malibu over the weekend. I’m not sure who the older woman is, but Aniston is majorly sucking up to her while Courteney looks kind of annoyed. Aniston is also all too aware that she’s being photographed.

No wonder Aniston is so self-conscious around the paparrazi. She just settled a lawsuit for an undisclosed amount with a photographer who took topless photos of her sunbathing at her place. Aniston is going to donate the settlement to cancer research, cause she realizes that she’s not known for charity work and better improve her public image fast.

The paparrazo’s defense is pretty weak and kind of laughable. He said that he “didn’t go looking” for Aniston topless, even though he was outside her house with a telephoto lens, and that he uh, didn’t want to sell the naked pictures, even though he mailed them to magazines.

This is Aniston’s second settlement with a photographer over nude photos. She got 1/2 a million dollars in 2003 for nude pictures of her that were taken and published in 1999. No word what she did with that cash.

Here are Aniston and Cox at the party. [via]

Mel Gibson’s dad is an anti-semite, and now we know that his son is a drunk driver too. Gibson’s son Christian, 24, was busted for driving drunk while at college last year and spent five hours in jail:

If inpatient substance abuse treatment is good enough for his son, who had completed treatment prior to Gibson’s arrest, why can’t Gibson check himself into rehab too? He must think he’s above that. Drunken arrogance must run in the family.

Actually, Justin put a timeframe on it. He says he’ll marry Cameron in like, 15 years. He really said this:

He sounds like he’s not happy in the relationship at all. What is that crack about not getting a ring from her? Why doesn’t he break up with her already? Oh I know, he’s happy to be with her as long as it’s on his terms.

I’m not a Cameron fan, but if she wants to get married and have kids she needs to break up with Justin and start looking for a man who’s ready for it. If a guy says he’s not going to marry you - surprise - he won’t! It’s kind of sad for her that’s he’s talking such smack about their relationship on a talk show.

Update: Pictures removed on request.