David Hasselhoff recorded a song for the animated children’s series “Pingu.” We have multiple Pingu tapes in our house and Pingu competes with Bob the Builder for my son’s favorite show. The Sun is there with a recording of the song, which was released only in Switzerland:

Here are some choice lyrics:
“Now we make look different but we’re all the same, just different bodies with different names.
We all have mommies and we all have dads. Sometimes we’re happy, sometimes we’re sad.
But if you smile and dance with me, you’ll be happy just wait and see.
Stamp your feet and turn around. Reach for the sky, now touch the ground.”

You can hear the song over at The Sun. It’s the real Pingu theme song with the Hoff “rapping” over it.

In case you’ve never seen Pingu, it’s a claymation series with little penguins talking gibberish, and it’s rather cute. (The introduction is in German, but you don’t need to understand it.)

And here’s the Hoff’s video for his new single “Get into my Car,” which is supposed to be big in Europe:

(Thanks to Haute Gossip for linking this.)

All that work making mock-worthy music has left The Hoff exhausted. He fell asleep this week while on a brief break during an interview on British television.

Thanks to Fark for these Hoff links.

This sounds like wishful thinking based on the story that Maddox Jolie-Pitt is attending a David Beckham soccer training school for kids, but it would be cute as hell if it was true. The story is that Brad Pitt asked David Beckham to personally coach five year-old Maddox in soccer:

Some British journalist made this up like most of the celebrity news in the British rags. I didn’t believe Brad and Angelina would actually go to Africa, though, so I could be wrong. If it is true, I want to see pictures and video. And since this is wishful thinking, Beckham can take his shirt off too.

Here is Maddox playing soccer and sipping from a juice box. These pictures are from mid September. [via]

The skin-baring pop star’s comeback looks like it’s not going to make as much as an impact as intended. Janet Jackson’s new album is not selling well overseas:

[via]

Here’s a video of Janet and Nelly’s performance on “The Today Show”

Janet’s single with Nelly, “Call on Me,” is currently number 36 on the Billboard charts. Her album was just released in the U.S., and is expected to do decently once it hits the American charts, but only time with tell.

There’s a rumor that Janet is looking to do a reunion performance with Justin Timberlake at an awards show, their first since the controversial breast-bearing incident at the 2004 Super Bowl. If this is true it would only benefit Janet - Timberlake’s album “FutureSex/LoveSounds” is currently number one on the US charts.

Here are pictures of Janet and Nelly’s “Today Show” performance. [via]

Kylie Minogue turned down a personal request to meet with British Prime Minister Tony Blair while they were both staying at the same hotel in Birmingham. Kylie has lent her celebrity to protest the war in Iraq, and Britain’s continued involvement in the war might be the reason she refused to meet Blair:

That’s too funny and good for Kylie for taking a stand. Blair’s days as Prime Minister of England are numbered. Having lost the support of the people of England along with his political party, Blair announced that he will be stepping down at an unspecified date in the next year.

Kylie is promoting her new children’s book, The Showgirl Princess, “a fanciful recreation of Minogue’s adventures on her last tour.” Some of the illustrations in the book are based on pictures sent to Kylie while she was in the hospital. The book was written during her successful recovery from breast cancer.

Here is Kylie signing her book in London on Saturday, 10/1. [via]

Star Jones and Al Reynolds are still trying to unload their Manhattan apartment, and have set up shop in Miami beach, FL, where they are renting an apartment. Star is suing the National Enquirer for reporting that her formerly gay husband, Al Jones, is still gay. Maybe that’s part of the reason Mike Walker of the Enquirer ran this story that Star Jones didn’t have enough cash to get a coffee at Starbucks and had to bum money from strangers to complete her purchase:

Yeah, sure she forgot her wallet at home. Meanwhile Page Six reports that Star and Al are living in Florida trying to figure out their next career move. Star is said to be trying to land a talk show, while Al is writing his big fake memoirs. Good luck to them!

Kate Winslet has announced that she’ll take a year hiatus from acting to focus on her role as mother to her two children, Mia, five, and Joe, two. The 31 year-old actress says that she wants to spend time with her family. Playing a cheating wife and preoccupied mom in “Little Children” helped Kate realize what’s important in life:

That’s really thoughtful of Kate and she sounds like a great mother. As a stay-at-home mom to just one toddler, I can say that it’s a lot of work and it’s not as predictable as a nine to five. I love being with my son but I wouldn’t mind taking a year off to work outside of the house - especially if I had a job like Winslet’s. It seems like the grass is always greener.

Here is lovely Kate at the “Little Children” premiere and out with her daughter, Mia. [via]

Anna Nicole Smith and Howard K. Stern held a “commitment ceremony” aboard a yacht attended by an officator and some of their friends. While it was initially thought to be a wedding, it turned out to just be a bizarre ceremony with no legal purpose. They issued a statement condemning the press for invading their private party with jetboats delivering champagne, but it sure comes off as hypocritical now. It turns out that they invested the money from selling Daniel’s last photographs into throwing a fake wedding so they could sell the pictures and make bank.

Getty Images, the photo agency that purchased the rights to the last heartbreaking photos of Daniel Smith with his mother and newborn little brother sister, also paid $1 million for the pictures of the bullshit wedding:

Now that no one feels sorry for Anna at all, she’s getting sued by her baby’s daddy for paternity rights. Photographer Larry Birkhead claims that he’s the father of Anna’s baby, not her drugged lawyer, Howard K. Stern. Stern told Larry King that he’s the father, but skirted the question when asked if he would take a DNA test, and said he would have a paternity test only if “legally compelled.” Birkhead has called him on his comments, and has filed suit to have Anna and the baby tested for both drugs and paternity:

Anna’s just about to crawl back into the career hole she emerged from when she starred in that annoying reality series and lost a ton of weight with gastric bypass. She squandered public sentiment with opportunism. If she can’t get ahold of the billions of dollars she married her ancient second husband for, at least she can take advantage of her newfound tragic fame to make a quick buck.

- Brandon Davis got shut out of Hyde nightclub [TMZ]
- Dave Chappelle might play Rick James in the film based on his autobiography, “Memoirs of a Super Freak.” [Hollywood Reporter]
- Before and After pictures of Scarlet Johansson’s nose job. [I’m Not Obsessed]
- George Clooney is dating some random model this week. [Suicide Girls]
- George Clooney says that he dates a different woman all the time to confuse the tabloids. Sure. [Hollywood Rag]
- Corpse Chic is killing us all. [Mollygood]
- Angelina Jolie thinks Brad Pitt is cheating on her [Celebguru]
- Matthew McConaughey can’t get rid of that cotton mouth [Agent Bedhead]
- Kirsten Dunst wears support hose [Hollywood Tuna]
- Jay-Z’s HP commercial [Wampoon]
- Stills of McSteamy on “Grey’s Anatomy” [CityRag]
- Rachel Bilson is ready for bed [IDLYITW]
- Janet Jackson channels her inner monk [yeeeah]
- Rachel Zoe inflicts taste like this onto her skinny clients [DListed]
- There’s a warrant out for Bobby Brown’s arrest. He’s a deadbeat dad who doesn’t show up to court. [Us Weekly]
- Aishwarya Rai at the Mobo Awards. [Bastardly]
- Hottie Gael Garcia Bernal may plan the villian in the third “Bourne Identity” installment. I can’t wait for that movie. [Yahoo News]
- Christina Milian and some cute little dogs [popbytes]
- Is Dave Navarro with Storm Susan Large from “Rock Star: Supernova?” [Bricks and Stones]
- Don’t look at these pictures of Juliette Lewis if “The Exorcist” gave you nightmares [Socialite’s Life]

Ashton Kutcher has revealed that he and his older wife Demi Moore won’t cheat on each other - because each of them has a gun. He also said he carries a gun around the house when his stepdaughters bring their boyfriends around. He was probably joking when he said this, but it’s an obnoxious thing to say:

That sounds like an overdone stunt out of a movie or something my parent’s generation would have done. It’s hard to believe a 28 year-old guy would carry a gun around the house to scare his stepdaughter’s suitors.

Ashton is having a good week. His films, “Open Season,” and “The Guardian,” are the top two at the box office.

TMZ reports that John Mayer struck out at the Four Seasons bar when hitting on an attractive member of the opposite sex. Jessica Simpson showed up, and Mayer promptly turned on the emo charm for her. Despite being treated like shit by Mayer in the past and in the public press, Jessica took the elevator up with him - presumably to his room.

What they did up there is anyone’s guess, but Lainey’s Gossip claims that Mayer has a proclivity for certain kinky sexual practices that Jessica must be tolerant of.

Poor Jessica must have rock-bottom self esteem to be hooking up with that jerk again.

Jessica Simpson header image from SweetKisses.net. John Mayer Perez Hilton parody image from John Mayer’s blog.