Matt Lauer and his wife, Annette Roque, picked a Dutch name for their son born yesterday, Tjis Thijs

Wouldn’t you assume that’s pronounced Tuh-Jiss? It’s said to be pronounced “tice,” similar to “lice.” Oh that kid is not going to be made fun of or anything:

So we rolled our eyes at “Apple” and raised our eyebrows at “Suri” and “Shiloh.” But now “Thijs”? That, folks, is the newest addition to the Matt Lauer – Annette Roque brood, according to People. The baby (a son) was born yesterday morning, and weighed 7 lbs., 4 oz., and parents and child are doing well. The name is pronounced “Tice” and is a common Dutch name (Roque is Dutch). The baby will join brother Jack and sister Romy in the household, though the child is surely already girding himself for a lifetime of frustrating and humiliating trips to the DMV and the dentist’s office.

Maybe he’ll be spared some humiliation with a nickname. It must have been the mother’s idea since she’s Dutch, and I’m sorry if I’m making fun of a name that’s super-common in the Netherlands. It does sound like a nice name, but every substitute teacher is going to be struggling with the pronunciation. It doesn’t seem suited to an American kid, but to each his own.

Lauer and his wife have two other children with rather common names in comparison: a son, Jack Matthew, 5, and a daughter, Romy, 3. Matt and Roque were separated last summer but have since reconciled.

Update:
All right you guys, I hear you. I left out the H by mistake, and you’re right that I have no knowledge of the Dutch alphabet. Best wishes to the Lauers and little Thijs and apologies to our Dutch readers and anyone else who was offended. It’s not as weird a name as Fifi Trixibelle or Apple, that’s true.

“John,” “JoAnna” “Sarah” and “Sirio” below all have the same IP and are all the same person.

Dear Britney-

Everyone was very proud of you since you gave K-Fed the boot and started to change your life.
But your new BFF Paris Hilton and all the recent “party pics” rank up there at the top of the stupid list.

Newsflash Britney-Unless you want your babies living with Kevin most of the time, say goodbye to Paris, buy some underwear and get a clue.

Your lawyers protect you from pesky husband mistakes. They can’t protect you when it comes to child custody. In just about every state, the child custody laws are clear cut:
Unless your former partner is a crack-addicted child molester, there is joint custody.

Crazy fun with Paris isn’t worth custody of your boys. With each picture of you and Paris, you are loading up Kevin’s case for proving you an unfit mother. Go home and let the press snap pictures of you at the Piggly Wiggly or at church. The legal system is insane when it comes to child custody so grow up and be a good mother.

Note from Celebitchy Chic Mommy has a new article about how Britney has chosen to stay home with Jayden James, who is sick with an ear infection. That may be true but Britney was out yesterday showing her shaven twat for the fourth time. TMZ reports that it’s the third time, but I counted three different outfits in those previous picture sets.

People are bashing her on her official myspace, begging her to get a clue and cover the fuck up.

Images from CelebrityPuke.com

Britney Spears has put a temporary hold on her wild crazy nights with Paris Hilton. Her 3 month old baby, Jayden James, has come down with a nasty ear infection, prompting Britney to stay behind and care for the little tyke. Star magazine reports:

New BFFs Britney Spears and Paris Hilton were slated to arrive in South Beach last Friday, and spend Thanksgiving weekend there partying it up with music producer Scott Storch — who is working on Britney’s upcoming album — but Britney’s maternal instincts kicked in!

“Britney was supposed to come to Miami on Friday, but [her son] Jayden had an ear infection, so they had to cancel,” a source tells Star. “Jayden couldn’t fly because of the ear infection, and Britney didn’t want to leave him in L.A., so she scrapped the trip. She was waiting for him to get better, and was hoping to go, but she just decided to stay. She missed her flight on Friday, thinking she would get a later flight, but it never happened.” The source adds that Britney and Paris, along with Jayden, were supposed to stay at Scott’s place in Miami, and also record Britney’s album at a Miami recording Miami studio. Plus, Storch was planning to take them to Walt Disney World on Saturday.

I’m guessing little JJ’s ear infection may also be the real reason Britney pulled out of co-hosting the Billboard Music Awards with Paris next week. It wasn’t a rift ya’ll, it’s just that Britney suddenly remembered she was a mom.

Note by Celebitchy: Header image is of Britney and Sean Preston, because little Jayden James has yet to be seen.

Correction: Oops! Sorry guys, I misread the details of this story on Star this morning and made a huge mistake. The article from Star talks about how Britney, baby Jayden, and Paris were supposed to go to Miami Thanksgiving Weekend (meaning last weekend) and not this Friday, as I misunderstood. Sorry for the oversight. I read the story too fast and got the facts mixed up.

That being said, I think Britney’s just an awful person to say on one hand, she can’t travel to Miami because of her son’s ear infection, and then spend the entire weekend flashing her cooter on the streets of L.A. Bad bad Britney. Antics like this are gonna look just lovely for Team K-Fed in family court. How foolish I was to think she was actually being a concerned mom.

There’s this dubious “celebrity lawyer’s” blog that posts blind items that are getting picked up by Oh No They Didn’t. One of the blind items blatantly suggests that Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton were lovers and that Paris rebuffed Lindsay, leading to all their spats lately. Most commentors think it’s bullshit, but it would explain a lot if it was true:

DEVELOPING — BLIND ITEM OF THE YEAR — I keep trying to type this and I just cannot believe what the caller said. They definitely would know, but it is still unbelievable.

When this female celebrity (#1) is arguing with another female celebrity or two it has always been assumed that the argument pertained to boyfriends or some trivial matter.

As one of the female celebrities (#2) continues to go through personal problems, she is reaching out to friends with the story that she is involved in an on again and off again relationship with the other female celebrity (#1).

And that what started out as a laugh became love for celeb #2 while celeb #1 preys on those emotions and treats #2 as a plaything when she needs someone which is causing #2 to spiral out of control. — STAY TUNED –

This same blogger also caused a stir recently with a more difficult blind item about a female pop star who has been pulling a Milli Vanilli since 2000. I think it’s J.Lo, if it’s even true.

Regardless Paris and Lohan are off again, if you keep track of such things. Life & Style reports that they fought at Hyde on Monday night, with Lindsay confronting Paris right after she was making out with Stavros in front of everyone. Was she jealous perhaps?

Lindsay’s mom got involved and yelled at Stavros and Paris even fell down.

As a bespectacled Brit sat subdued in a corner booth for most of the night, Paris did what she does best: She made out with her boy toy of the minute, Stavros Niarchos, and fought with Lindsay, an insider tells Life & Style.

Shortly after Stavros embraced Paris, twirled her around and planted an endless lip-lock on her — the argument began between Paris and Linds, who has canoodled with Stavros in the past.

The girls screamed at each other until Britney stepped in to fix the situation with the promise of nicotine.

“Paris,” she told her new mentor, “let’s go smoke a cig and calm down.”

A crisis was averted — until Lindsay’s mom, Dina Lohan, decided to stick her nose into the situation by strutting over to Stavros and cornering him.

Soon after, he stomped over to Paris, grabbed her by the arm and demanded they leave. But Paris wasn’t ready. She pulled her arm back, lost her footing and ate pavement!

At that point, the Lohans had had enough and fled out the back door. Soon after, Paris, Britney and Stavros did the same and returned to Paris’ crib, where hordes of paparazzi, police and a helicopter were all lying in wait.

And if there hadn’t been enough high school drama for one evening, Paris began chanting “Firecrotch” as she exited her car. She then capped off her performance with an expletive about Lindsay.

The timing certainly seems right for Lindsay to have been jealous of Paris and Stavros’ PDA. I read somewhere else that Paris called Lohan a “coked-out whore.”

Over the weekend Lindsay approached videotaping paparazzi to publically declare that Paris hit her with a drink at a party, but then later said Paris was “her best friend” and that people were “spreading lies.” It would not surprise me if these two were bumping uglies, but given how much I’ve seen of Britney and Lindsay’s girl parts lately I don’t want to think about it.

Danny DeVito admits to staying up all night drinking lemon liqueur with George Clooney before his appearance on “The View” this morning and it’s pretty obvious that he’s out of it.

He brags about screwing his wife Rhea in the Lincoln bedroom of the White House when he was a guest there during Clinton’s reign, and does a whole weird Three Stooges impression meant to make fun of George Bush, a lot of which is bleeped out. He seems to have called Bush a “numbnuts” but that didn’t make it past the censors.

Right after he says that the Lincoln bedroom was “utilized” Barbara Walters changes the topic to his new movie “Deck the Halls.”

He burps and has to hold his hand over his mouth when he’s trying to describe the predictable plot of the movie!

- Cameron Diaz says she’s perfect [DListed]
- But that didn’t stop her from getting her nose fixed [IDLYITW]
- Sofia Coppola had a baby girl [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
- Jessica Simpson as a surgically enhanced frog [Gallery of the Absurd]
- Snoop Dogg was arrested with pot, cocaine and a gun in his car. He even had a nifty hidden compartment. [CelebGuru]
- K-Fed cheated on Britney with a porn star, but chances are the woman had more dignity than his wife. [Derek Hail]
- Here are the latest Britney crotch shots. Yes, I know you’re sick of them too. [Egotastic]
- Now that Britney’s schooled on the ways of the media, Paris was freed up to hang out with her old BFF Nicole [Into Gossip]
- The NY Post ran a picture of LohitneyParis on the cover with the title Bimbo Summit! [Metadish]
- Naomi Watts works out at the same gym as Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow. [Celeb-Diet]
- Rihanna promotes Clinique [Pop on the Pop]
- Now that Nicole Richie dumped her as a stylist, Rachel Zoe should move on to fresh young meat [Best Week Ever]
- The many faces of fashion models [Bastardly]

Michelle Williams, the surly chick who had Heath Ledger’s emo baby and used to be in Dawson’s Creek, not the Michelle Williams from Destiny’s Child, had all her fan websites, bulletin boards and forums shut down. Apparently she and her people just don’t get the Internet. Or maybe they do and they think they can control it:

I learn[ed] that Michelle William went into a crusade to shut down her MediaBlvd forum and it looks like it worked. Her forum on MB is closed now. This is the message that appears:

Quote:This forum has been closed for legal reasons. We would ask that our registered users refrain from mentioning Ms. William’s name and do not link to any images that include Ms. Williams in any of the MediaBlvd Community forums or websites, in anyway. This would include avatars, signatures, etc, or any other method of including an image.

And even her center, which would be the equivalent of Katie Holmes Pictures, is also closed.
www.thewilliamscenter.com

Quote:CLOSED
Other Michelle Williams fan-sites rejoice!

The Michelle fan-site Monopoly is now over. The Williams Center–the longest running Michelle Williams fan-site on the net, with the most respect for her is now closed. We met a lot of nice people–and we are thankful to everyone for their help over the years. When the site was created, we were all 7 years younger. It’s time we move on.

If you still need a Michelle fix, there’s one other great fan-site out there for her that if you search for it on google, you’ll have no trouble finding.

Inquiries about having our old content/why the site closed may not be answered because we just deleted everything and our reasons are private. We never thought it would turn into what it did. It was a dream come true for awhile there. And it couldn’t have happened without you, the visitor…we’ll never forget ya.

Michelle Williams must not want any fans. It looks like her wishes are about to come true.

Anna Nicole did an Entertainment Tonight interview in which she tried to refute rumors about her trashtastic lifestyle. She appeared heavily made up and slurred her responses on camera, but she wasn’t as obviously inebriated as Danny DeVito on The View, and it’s possible that she just always sounds like that. She said that everyone around her wants their 15 minutes, and that they’re making up rumors about how she’s living in a dark house without power to get their name in the papers. She claims she rightfully owns the house from which she’s being evicted, but that she’s buying another big house on the water anyway.

She plans to stay in the Bahamas as her son is buried there and she had her baby daughter there.

She cried pitifully when talking about Thanksgiving, and says that she didn’t celebrate it because she’s too choked up over not having Daniel there to ask for his favorite candied yam dish.

Oh, and she said she’s pregnant again months after her having her baby Dannielynn, just like Britney. She tried to take it back, but it was too late and she achieved the desired effect. We’re all going to talk about her today. At least we don’t have to look at her snatch.

Turning to the cameras, Smith said, “I think I might be pregnant again.”

She added, “I’m not ready. (But) Howard wants to have another baby, he wants to have a little boy.”

Smith was referring to Howard K. Stern, her partner and father of her three-month-old daughter Dannielyn.

A few minutes later, she realized that she may have said a little bit too much.

“I feel we should change the subject,” she said, giggling.

The show reported that off-camera Smith told producers that she wasn’t really pregnant, she was just kidding.

You can watch the video yourself through the Entertainment Tonight website. (Video link is to the upper right.) I didn’t hear Anna Nicole say she was pregnant, but it’s possible ET cut that part out of the Internet version, and the source that claims she did is CBS news, which seems solid enough.

Anna Nicole is also being legally compelled to return to the states and submit to paternity testing, but considering that she has a lawyer for a lapdog who also claims to be the baby’s father, it’s unlikely that she’ll do so any time soon.

Thanks to ONTD and I’m Not Obsessed for the links.

Here we go again with the Madonna adoption chronicles. The latest news is that the Malawian judge got back from vacation or a conference or whatever and issued a ruling on the Madonna adoption. He sided in favor of the dozens of human rights groups challenging the adoption, saying that they have a right to add their opinions to the adoption decision, which is expected in May. This doesn’t mean that they actually get to decide if Madonna is fit to adopt Davie Banda without going through the proper channels, just that they can put their two cents in:

On Oct. 12, [Judge] Nyirenda granted Madonna and her husband, filmmaker Guy Ritchie, an interim order allowing them to take initial custody of 14-month-old David Banda. The couple were allowed to take David to their London home.

Malawi regulations stipulate that prospective parents undergo an 18-to 24-month assessment period in the country.

The rights groups, saying they were concerned the government had cut legal corners to fast-track the adoption, said regulations must be followed to protect children.

“I must stress that all along we have not been against the adoption but we only wanted Malawi’s adoption laws clarified and followed to the letter,” said Justin Dzonzi, a lawyer and chairman of the Human Rights Consultative Commission. “Today’s ruling gives us the opportunity to clear (up) some gray areas surrounding adoption laws in Malawi.”

Nyirenda said in his written order that he saw no reason to refuse the rights groups’ application.

“I believe the applicants mean well and this court will certainly benefit from the applicants’ researched opinions,” he said.

The organizations will now be part of the government’s first assessment of Madonna and Ritchie, expected next May.

In a country ravaged by AIDS, an estimated 2 million children have lost one or both parents and hundreds are adopted by foreigners every year. Madonna’s adoption bid coincided with her larger project to help Malawian orphans.

The human rights groups have argued that Malawi needs to ensure the adoption process cannot be exploited by pedophiles or child traffickers.

What I think this means is that the judge wants to help the human rights groups get their views out to the public, so that it doesn’t seem like Malawai just bent over backwards to accommodate Madonna after she dropped a lot of cash. Madonna will most likely be granted adoptive rihts, and I bet that they’re just doing this to make it seem like they’re not going to endanger orphans and send them off with every rich person that stops by and wants to take one home after a week or two.

They’re not going to ask for the baby back after he’s been living a life of luxury with Madonna.

In case you wonder what Madonna’s true feelings are about her adoption, here’s an excerpt from her Time interview publlished in early November:

Do you worry at all that you’ve saved this child from physical misery…

From death. Death. He would not have lived.

OK. But do you worry that you’ve saved him only to introduce him to a much more abstract kind of misery? There were hordes of photographers documenting his arrival in England.

Well, my other children are exposed to that and they’re not miserable. I think I have a very good life, and a good life to offer David. You know, it’s like the old saying, civil rights don’t mean shit if you’re dead. Even if I’m the worst mother in the world, I’m still better than death!

[Thanks White Trash Mom for the quote!]

In other Madonna news, no one watched her Thanksgiving eve concert on NBC, from which the crucifixion scene was cut so as not to offend. The show was ranked 78th in the Nielsen ratings.

Yesterday I ran a blind item from a questionable “lawyer’s” blog that claims that Lohan and Paris were once lovers and that’s why they’re fighting in public so much. Remember that myspace hack that allowed people to view comments on private profiles for a window of a few days last month? I saved most everything locally, and thanks to commentor Vix for reminding me that the person presumed to be Paris left a comment joking about a rendevous on what was thought to be Lindsay’s myspace.

In fact, the person said to be Paris was using a myspace icon with a picture of Paris and Lindsay together. Here’s what “BabyTink2″ said on October 17th:

its so sad our secret rendezvous at sky villa saturday is out i think we managed to keep it well hidden considering its now tuesday and its just starting to come out now we gettin good at hiding our love for each other bitch

She also joked around in Lindsay’s myspace comment section about needles and withdrawl, with someone who might have been Hilary Duff making a joke about Strawberry Nesquick:

BabyTink2 [maybe Paris] Oct 17, 2006 4:39 PM

will you hurry up with that needle bitch im gettin withdrawal symptoms lmao

fabulous [maybe Hilary Duff] Oct 17, 2006 4:36 PM

strawberry or banana and paris needs her needles back lmao

[I make no claims that these are actual comments by the people in question, so take it for what it is.]

Regardless of whether Paris and Lindsay were getting it on, they seem to have been good friends at that time since maybe-Paris was using an icon of the two of them together. Something happened that prompted their feud.