Ryan Seacrest told a story on his morning talk show about how a woman tried to trick him into getting into her car at an empty gas station. He said she asked him to press the button to open the gas tank but he got a bad vibe when he realized he would have to get into her car to do it. He told her that he was late for work and couldn’t help her and the woman got abusive toward him. A security expert on his show said it’s a common scam and his skepticism may have saved his life:

My favorite Metrosexual Ryan Seacrest survived a scary carjacking and/or kidnapping threat when he rolled into a self-serve gas station at 4 a.m. to top up before driving to his morning radio gig. A suspicious-acting woman, asking for “help opening her gas tank, attempted to lure him into her car! Seacrest says the station was “dark and abandoned… and it got all when when a woman - who had waited for everyone to leave before she approached me - wanted me to get inside her car and help press the button to open her gas tank.” Happy to help at first, Seacrest grew suspicious when the woman pointed through her car window at what she called a “gas button” which was unreachable unless he actually got in the car. When Seacrest hesitated, the woman got angry as he backed away and told her, “I’m sorry, but I can’t… I’m running late for work.” Suddently the “fit-looking” female exploded, yelling: “WHAT… dont you trust me?”

[From The National Enquirer print edition, January 29, 2007]

Ryan left quickly, and the security expert says it’s a good thing because there could have been someone hiding in the backseat ready to pounce.

I dislike this story for several reasons. First of all, we have to believe Seacrest’s account of the situation, because it’s possible he wasn’t in danger. Maybe this woman was just drugged out or acting weird and wasn’t a real threat to him. We just have to trust his impression, which may have been wrong.

It also feeds into the kind of urban-legend “it’s scary out there” pathos that I think is all too common. Sure there are carjackers and criminals, but they’re not lurking around every corner, and you shouldn’t live scared. Being safe and cautious is one thing, worrying about shit like this - and there are people who live in safe communities who worry needlessly - seems like a waste.

Of course I’m glad he wasn’t hurt and you should never get into a stranger’s car. I guess like Seacrest I’m a skeptic.

Update: I hear you guys, and it is better safe than sorry. There’s just no use fearing carjackers as long as you use common sense like Seacrest did.

Cool and suave George Clooney…and Pamela Anderson? EW!

There are reports “Pammy” and Clooney are dating. I hope that hunky George has his cootie shots because she gives me cooties just looking at her!

The pair were reportedly seen canoodling in the private VIP section of a Los Angeles restaurant, with Pammy even sitting on George’s knee.

They want to be careful – at their age, too much excitement could finish them off.

If there’s a nugget of truth in this tale it would mean Anderson can call off her manhunt.

In recent weeks, she has been linked to her bodyguard, a Hell’s Angel and r’n'b crooner Usher. She even gave shock jock radio DJ Howard Stern an on-air lapdance.

Please tell me this is research for a movie role on breast implants. Or maybe George is gearing up for his role as a drugged out rock star and needed “background” information. The only good thing about this hook-up is that we can be sure it won’t last long.

Note by Celebitchy: Clooney is a man whore who can’t commit, so WTM is right that it won’t last long.

Anne Heche is an early contender for Miss Rolling Stone 2007 as she is off again … last time she famously left lesbianism behind — this go round she’s leaving hubby and child.
Page Six reports:

ANNE Heche has left hubby Coley Laffoon for her “Men in Trees” co-star James Tupper, “Entertainment Tonight” reports. A rep for Heche confirmed to Page Six that she and Lafoon, who have a son, have separated, but would not say whether she’s seeing Tupper. A flack for Tupper, who’s also married and has a child, said he has also separated, but declined further comment “on his personal life.”

Now while anyone with a heart, or a set of ears, is sympathetic to Heche’s desire to no longer be married to someone with such a profoundly silly name as Coley Laffon …she does seem to be adding more bricks to her monumentally flighty reputation. Still once you’ve done the t.v. interview about your extra terrestrial alter ego Celestia who’s Jesus half sister and answered the questions in your own made-up space language – it is perhaps fair to assume that you are the world’s number one bridge burner and not worry about public opinion ever again. Sounds rather freeing now that I see it in print actually.

And while no one is talking (re) marriage yet, it does seem that Mrs. Tupper if not an entirely lateral move … isn’t much of an improvement. It’s definitely a moniker that might wear on your nerves over time … it might even Tupperware them out (ouch!)

The National Enquirer is reporting that Britney Spears’ dad, Jamie, called her ex boyfriend Justin Timberlake begging him to talk some sense into his drugged out party-fiend daughter:

Britney Spears’ father is begging Justin Timberlake to save his troubled daughter, says a family insider.

According to a source close to [Britney's dad] Jamie, “Daddy Spears called Justin and said, ‘Forgive her, win her back, save her!”

The source says Jamie, who’s battled his own addictions with booze and drugs, believes Justin is the only person who was able to keep his famous daughte ron the straight and narrow.

“I don’t think that Justin has ever really gotten over the breakup with Britney,” said the source. “He knows that she’s a train wreck with a career that’s on a downward slide. I believe that he will seriously consider coming to her rescue.”

According to the source, the plan is to get Justin to convince Britney to concentrate on her music career and stay out of the spotlight before she loses more fans.

“Britney’s camp knows that the best and only publicity that would be good for her would be for her to be seen with Justin,” adds the source.

[From The National Enquirer print edition, January 29, 2007]

This might be true that Britney’s dad called Justin, if he even still has his number, but there’s no way Justin would even be seen out to dinner with Britney at this point. It would ruin his career to be associated with her, and he knows that. Plus Britney is such a pantyless bad weave-wearing mess that he’ll never take her seriously.

Maybe he might call her or something to give her advice for old time’s sake. You know that he doesn’t give a shit about anyone except himself though, and he’s not about to come to Britney’s rescue if it means he’d have to be seen with her.

We haven’t seen Britney for a couple of days because her aunt, Sandra Bridges Covington, her mom’s sister, passed away at the age of 59. Britney attended the funeral and is now reportedly back in LA. Unfortunately this sad event may be the impetus she needs to turn her life around.

Update: PopSugar has pictures of Britney landing back in Burbank, California. She’s seen with a covered up baby in a carseat, so maybe Jayden James actually exists!

You might have thought the fire was out under the bubbling cauldron of The Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell feud, but according to Out magazine .. fuel is being added to the fire by freelance peace negotiator and former Mrs. Trump, Ivana

The war began weeks ago when Trump pardoned Miss USA, who had allegedly been indulging in some bad behavior, and Rosie questioned why Trump should be a moral compass for the country—it just got worse from there. Ivana says she had words for both Ro and The Donald. “I was very diplomatic and at the end of the day, I said, ‘You know, guys, just take the high road, it is so ridiculous,’” Ivana told AP Television.

So where was this second Camp David held … on what hallowed go round did Ivana gather these warring factions to broker a peace that will finally hold ? Will our children have a chance grow up in a world without Ro-Do conflict ?

The Answers: Nowhere at all … and not very likely … as she gave both Ro and Do this advice via her column in The National Enquirer. And she not only has advice … she has analysis

“Donald and Rosie, they’re getting fantastic ratings, they’re getting publicity, they’re really using it as a marketing tool, not because they are enemies, and I understand that only too well.”

Although it strikes me that if the analysis is true … then the advice was rubbish … Ivana you gotta pick a gear and drive in it … its either the high road or fantastic ratings. Wonder which side she’ll come down on.

In related news Oxygen No Longer Free … Bush wins Nobel Peace Prize … Paris Hilton births new Jesus … Up officially moved to Down.

But seriously folks … in some truly hilarious although theologically and historically ignorant reporting the folks over at handbag write:

Naomi Campbell has dismissed rumours that she is planning to join a Brazilian religious group with links to witchcraft

The supermodel was linked to the Candomble faith, which was traditionally practised by African slaves in Brazil.

As if Naomi Campbell would need a religious justification for her blatantly evident witch-ness — Religions usually require faith … Campbell’s witch status is largely in the realm of scientific proof … like gravity … which she also uses for her own evil purposes when chucking bejeweled cell phone missiles at her cowering minions.

However, she has now said that just because she knows people who are involved with Candomble, that doesn’t make her a follower.

Demonstrably true as she also know several people who don’t beat their employees bloody and has shown no signs of following their example.

She told the New York Daily News: ‘I’m Church of England, Protestant. I was christened that.”

As if the Church of England didn’t have enough problems … what with Charles and Camilla and the questionable parentage of the less important ginger Prince …

Naomi, 36, did admit she uses prayer to try and calm her famous fiery temper.
She said: “I work on myself daily. I work on my programme of meditation and prayer and try to stick to it. It’s important to me.

(via Female First)

That’s pretty much the nail in the coffin on discussions about the efficacy of prayer … good we finally got that one settled.

Mad About the Guy

The evil 3am Girls over at the Mirror report some atypically happily married news about Madonna and Guy Ritchie

MADONNA proved there’s only one Guy for her - as she cuddled up to her husband at last night’s premiere of her new movie.

The pop queen made the film, Arthur and the Invisibles, real family viewing by taking along her clan.
Madge, 48, showed she was truly, madly, deeply hooked on Guy, 38, as she clutched his arm as they held hands outside the West End gala.

Daughter Lourdes, 10, and son Rocco, six, grabbed hold of Dad’s other arm. But adopted 15-month-old David Banda was left snoozing at home. When we inquired about him, Madge gushed: “He’s great, wonderful. Thank you so much for asking.”

They must have been really beaming that solid couple vibe because the actual evidence is rather flimsy … a bit of hand holding and a bit of cuddling on the red (actually green) carpet at a premiere. Surely the weather outside in January in London would induce cuddling in all but the most hostile of couples. As anyone can see although Madonna’s had all the kids Guy’s put on all the weight – you know what they say — big boys keep you warm in the winter and give you shade in the summertime.

Should make him useful at pretty much any movie premiere anywhere … well, sadly excluding premieres of his own movies. If there are going to be anymore of those …. Hmm no wonder he’s packed on the pounds. Career death can make Ben & Jerry any formerly fit boys best friends … you can’t cuddle up to them on the red carpet, but you can late, late at night, in your mansion, in a dark corner as you silently weep into your pint of Chunky Monkey mumbling “Swept Away … WHY … Why … why …

Pictures from Love Fashion Rock and Drowned Madonna.

Not the traditional birthday greeting truth be told … but then Kimora Lee does love to bring 6 feet of drama to any occasion … it’s really not a party unless it’s all about her — even though it was in fact someone else’s party — Alicia Keys birthday party in fact … who was none too pleased when the brouhaha broke out at Manhattan’s Bed Lounge.

According to Rush & Molloy it went down a little something like this:

Guests wheeled around to find the designing wife of rap mogul Russell Simmons yelling at a woman in jeans and a tan vest. “Kimora said that the woman had thrown a drink at her,” says one attendee. “She didn’t look wet to me. But security grabbed the girl and ushered her out.”

Asked by another guest what the fight was about, the woman said, “She’s jealous of me!”

Could it be that Kimora coveted the mysterious tan vest … in a momentary fit of post-bling sanity did its monochrome simplicity call out to her? Had she misunderstood her status as Estranged wife of media mogul Russell and thought it was spelled with a silent ‘e’ ? Does she have the super power to be wet and yet appear dry … it doesn’t sound like enough to get her on Heroes.

Apparently in the reporter’s follow-up to the story the tan vest woman couldn’t be reached (SCARY) Kimora’s rep when asked to clarify the evening’s events said Tan Vest was ‘a disrespectful fan.’

Let’s hope for Tan Vest’s sake that disrespecting KLS doesnt get her a pair of cement boots to go with her already under-accessorized outfit.

Whatever the back story, Keys didn’t seem to appreciate the drama. “When Kimora was leaving, Alicia totally ignored her,” claimed a source.

Surely getting to ignore Kimora Lee Simmons is the best gift a girl can give herself … Many Happy Returns of the day Alicia … from all of us here at the drama free family of Celebitchy!

Note by Celebitchy: Kimora seems to enjoy fighting. She said several times in an Vanity Fair interview last year “I will beat a bitch’s ass.” I guess she will.

- It looks like Justin Timberlake wasn’t scared by that shit fit crazy ex Cameron threw, because he’s hooking up with Jessica Biel at Sundance [Socialite's Life]
- Hyped movies HornHounddog where Dakota Fanning gets raped and and Black Snake Moan where Christina Ricci does softcore porn, both suck, according to our friends from Pajiba who are at Sundance [Pajiba]
- A poll of the 100 sexiest English guys is full of blokes who have dated Kate Moss [Agent Bedhead]
- Penelope Cruz bikini pictures [Egotastic]
- OMG is that Britney’s youngest, Jayden James? He’s real! [PopSugar]
- The trustees in control of James Brown’s estate are trying to steal everything and his kids are pissed [Rhymes with Snitch]
- Baby Spice Emma Bunton is going to have a baby of her own [Celebrity Baby Blog]
- Lindsay Lohan is spending more time hanging out with her friends than at rehab [yeeeah]
- Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant at a press conference for Music and Lyrics By [Gabsmash]
- Suggestive Mischa Barton fresh-faced in bed photoshoot [Bastardly]
- Rachel McAdams looks like a goth mess [IDLYITW]
- Britney Spears made a valet pick up his tip from the change she dropped on the ground [CityRag]
- Scarlet Johansson, David Beckham and other celebrities in beautiful Disney ads shot by Annie Leibovitz [DListed]
- What the hell is Renee Zellwegger wearing? [I'm Not Obsessed]
- What the hell is Jennifer Love Hewitt wearing? [Celebslam]
- Jared Leto keeps proving what a douche he is [Best Week Ever]
- Hot Salma Hayek photoshoot [The Blemish]
- Jennifer Aniston is pissed that her surgeon kind of half-admitted to fixing her nose [CelebWarship]
- Evangelina Lilly is super cute at the airport [ICYDK]
- Katie Holmes might be in an upcoming movie with Queen Latifah called Mad Money [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
- Nelly Furtado is fake pregnant [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
- The Police are rehearsing for their 30th anniversary tour [Hatue Gossip]
- Top Chef host Padma Lakshi enjoys some herb before she eats all that good cooking [Evil Beet]
- Eva Longoria thinks her marriage will last more than 18 months if she gets married on 7/7/07. [Pop on the Pop]

Header image of Biel is a little old, and was found at Hollywood Tuna.

Update: The background is that Paris Hilton left a ton of personal items in storage as she was moving. No one paid the bill, and it was sold at auction and is now available online.

I ponied up the $40 for Paris Hilton’s crap on the Paris Exposed website and there’s so much junk there it’s incredible. They do a decent job of organizing and presenting it, and since it’s a tax deduction I don’t regret subscribing.

I’ll have to break it up into several posts as I can’t review everything at once and I’ll just have to give you stuff as I go. Look for a lot more photos and details on Monday.

Paris has got to be hurting right now. It’s one thing for people to say she’s on drugs, has herpes, is bulimic, is a dumb slut and is narcissistic. It’s another to be given such a wealth of evidence, including a Valtrex prescription receipt and diary entires in her own childish hand.

The entry on the header image, which is also the first thumbnail below, is the most revealing.

Paris says she wants to get organized, exercise more, quit using, go to AA and get a sponsor. If she feels like throwing up, she tells herself to “talk to someone.”

Those resolutions seem like a one-shot deal as the rest of her journals are filled with random phone numbers, schedules, and thoughts.

Here are some journal pages. She labels one person named Alex “Chink Guy” next to his phone number. I’ve also heard that she uses the N word in the videos on the site, but I’ve only seen some segments as I found them pretty annoying. It’s not news that Paris is a bigot.

There’s also a page with an idea for a Hello Kitty Paris character, and she writes “Paris and Nicky Barbies” on her Hello Kitty stationary along with painstakingly copying three pages of lines from Eurotrip.

I blurred out the phone numbers, but the Paris Exposed site did not. Anyone who has ever given Paris their phone number has got to regret it since this is the second time her friends’ numbers have been published.