You probably saw this already, but the new insurance commercial with Kevin Federline manages to make him look self-aware and like a decent rapper. Someone wrote him some decent beats for once and mixed it well enough to make it seem like he’s this misunderstood hip hop guy who got dumped by Britney.

K-Fed’s Nationwide Insurance commercial, thanks to PopSugar:

Let me remind you that the guy cannot rap and remains a total douchebag despite looking decent in comparison to Britney. The only reason people are warming to him now is because he hasn’t received enough press for people to be reminded about his character. (And of course there’s the whole thing with Britney thinking people find her cooch more interesting than her youngest child.)

Right before Britney dumped his ass, K-Fed was told by an journalist that his watch was worth more than his yearly salary. He answered:

That’s my baby. Whenever I made some money that’s the first thing I went and bought…

My watch game is ridiculous — just jewelry in general. It’s an investment. I bought this [points to his watch], and it’s already gone up in value. All the jewelry I’m wearing has already gone up in value.

You’re not planning on selling it anytime soon are you?

Hell no. I ain’t getting rid of it. I’m going to go out and get some more.

And in case you started to think he might have talent because someone invested in a decent rapper to write some lyrics for him, here’s his Lose Control music video:

There were like 10 pictures of K-Fed posing in different outfits in the insert to his terrible “Playing with Fire” CD. This guy hasn’t changed, and he hasn’t morphed into a decent father and rapper overnight because some marketing people came up with a good idea.

Paparazzi photo agency flynetonline has a video of Brad Pitt leaving an office late at night and trying to make his way to the car while tons of flashbulbs go off. He holds his own useless camera up as a sort of symbol or shield, and says something like “You guys are pissing me off this time… you’re unbelievable.”

A picture of his partner Angelina Jolie on her way to make arrangements for her mother’s funeral came out today. Jolie’s mother, Marcheline Bertrand, just died, but for celebrity watchers like us it’s just another day.

Pictures from Flynet Online.

I realize this story keeps getting recycled and sounds old, but there’s a story in the National Enquirer this week that Jennifer Aniston plans on adopting up to two babies.

I beileve the Aniston adoption story originated from what’s safe to assume was a complete bullshit story in Britain’s Grazia magazine about two weeks ago which claimed that a friend and a relative of Aniston’s said she’s planning to adopt and is using an LA adoption agency.

The article said that she was encouraged by Oprah (somehow all these fake stories involve allmighty Oprah) to take in an African baby, but that she was set on an American baby and even wanted two of them for double the fun.

Here’s the Enquirer’s take on Aniston’s adoption, and it sounds so similar to that Grazia story that I would say that’s the source and doubt that The Enquirer has any insider information:

The 37-year-old star decided she’s running out of time, and has spent the past several weeks consulting adoption experts - and looking for a newborn American baby girl, The Enquirer has learned.

[From The National Enquirer print edition, February 5, 2007]

Grazia:

Grazia can exclusively reveal the 37-year-old has spent the last five weeks instructing different lawyers to make approaches to adoption agencies on her behalf. Two sources close to the star - one a friend, the other a relative - told Grazia that Jennifer hopes to find a newborn baby through a private agency in Los Angeles.

[From Grazia print edition, date unknown. Online posting date of January 22, 2007]

Both articles also say that Aniston is using a private agency which would make it possible for her to adopt directly from a mother, and repeat the Oprah advice story. Aniston is said to want a daughter first and then a son soon after if possible.

The reason I’m repeating this is that Aniston was said to have bought a bunch of baby stuff from that popular LA kids’ boutique Petit Tresor. It could have been for a friend’s shower, and since she got stuff like a baby basket, diaper bag, and blanket, it sounds like a gift, not something you would use to outfit your house for a baby.

I don’t think she’s pregnant or planning to adopt. One thing she does seem fond of lately is plastic surgery, because she is said to have had her “deviated septum” fixed and her boobs do look slightly bigger.

In the story so Big they named a Brother after it … the international hubbub around this year’s Big Brother UK is moving onto its triumphalist tidying up phase. Taking the “Real World” template to new highs, or do I mean lows, the eventual race and class throwdown had an impact far in excess of the usual ratings bump. Prime Ministers, Columnists and Germaine Greers worldwide got in on the action … with a healthy dose of the sort of crazed over-coverage that the British tabloids have raised, or do I mean lowered, to an artform. A hysterical artform with highly amusing puns …

Quick recap for those of you who might have missed the teacup tempest :

The three celebrities accused of tormenting her on the show—Jade Goody, Jo O’Meara and Danielle Lloyd–have spent the past few days giving tearful interviews and explaining their side of the story.

Shetty was called a “dog” on the programme and a few of the housemates referred to her as “the Indian” saying “She should f*** off home.”

However, Shilpa is now looking at the brighter side of life. According to The Mirror she has been approached to write a book, appearing in UK films and a comedy show on BBC television.

The actress said: “I’d love to do a cookery show called: ‘If Shilpa Can. Anyone Can’” Turning to her love life, Shetty, who still lives with her parents, told the paper: “I’m single and I’m ready to mingle.”

Now Shetty … who sure can rhyme like a Cockney… and whose personal charm has a lot to do with the outpouring of public support is scheduled to go to the House of Commons, meet Tony Blair and the Queen. Ohhh and she won Big Brother as well …

She’s also in talks for books, TV, and movies etc. etc. etc. Satire and real life are dancing awfully close to each other these days – how are we gonna write funny about these things when they are proving that in some career boosting televisual way - that racism is the single girl’s new best friend?

Although for the full and final collapse you can’t really beat this quote from the producer Ronnie Screwala (not a made up name!)–

According to sources in London, the actor’s office has been getting offers for modelling assignments, films, and an endorsement of a Shilpa Shetty line of clothing and jewellery. “Shilpa has almost become an internationally recognised face against racism. Her celebrity status in the UK has certainly gone a lot higher and it will have an impact on her career here as well,” says producer Ronnie Screwala.

Backlash is of course mere minutes away … The Mirror is the first one off that news cycle block. It’s guarunteed to get up folks’ noses.

A TEAM of servants waits on Shilpa at home in Mumbai - including a hairdresser, a makeup artist, a secretary, a personal trainer, chauffeurs and a “spot boy” who tends to her every need.

She said: “My spot boy is my help wherever I am. He runs errands, makes tea for me and serves my guests. And he’d hold an umbrella for me if it got too sunny.

“A servant wakes me up in the morning and delivers my breakfast, and says something like: ‘Madam, it’s time to wake.’

I haven’t reported on this yet as I feel really sorry for Brandy and the victim and don’t want to think about it too much, but she caused an accident on an LA freeway last month which led to the death of a woman whose car she hit in a multi-car pileup.

It happened at 10:30 AM on December 30, 2006 on the 405 Freeway in Los Angeles. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Brandy was driving her 2007 Land Rover at 65 mph and did not notice that cars in front of her had slowed considerably. We’re told Brandy’s vehicle struck a 2005 Toyota. The Toyota then hit a 1989 Toyota. The 2005 Toyota then slid sideways and hit the center divider. As the 2005 Toyota came to a halt, it was struck by a 1988 Acura…

We’re told the driver of the 2005 Toyota, Awatef Aboudihaj, was taken to Holy Cross Hospital in critical condition and she died the next day. Aboudihaj, a 38-year-old married mother of one, was a Los Angeles resident.

Brandy was said to be wandering around distraught afterwards on dangerous freeway saying it was her fault.

The California Highway Patrol is recommending that she be charged with misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter, but she has not been officiallly charged yet. The case is under review by the city’s attorney’s office.

A source in the police department told TMZ that they believe she was driving too fast and that her negligence caused the crash. They do not believe she was grossly negligent, which I guess means she is at fault but that the case is not clear cut or something. Brandy was not under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

A civil rights group has chimed in, most likely to get publicity for their cause. They’re saying that Brandy is being made an example of because she’s a famous celebrity, and that it’s not fair.

Meanwhile Brandy is being sued for $50 million in a civil suit by the victim’s family. They claim she was driving recklessly when she hit Aboudihaj’s car.

This is just a sad story all around, and it must be devastating for Brandy and for the victim’s family. I wasn’t paying attention once and caused a minor car accident. I was super tired but that was no excuse. I can’t imagine causing someone’s death.

Unflattering header image of Brandy at the U.S. Open is from BrandyFan.com.

Gimme Botox, Botox, Mo, Mo, Mo tox

After a year or so when she proved herself the most Teflon of models … with drug scandals sliding off her like - well like wrinkles off a thoroughly botoxed brow - Kate Moss may have met her match. No not Pete Doherty, her scary soulmate match, but Father Time – an unforgiving parent indeed. If Your Heart belongs to Daddy your Face Belongs to Every else and everyone’s a critic. The News of the World reports the beginning of the end:

SUPERMODEL Kate Moss is facing the axe from her campaign with make-up giants Rimmel because they want someone younger.

Rimmel has secretly been holding castings for young girls to find a replacement for Kate, who turned 33 this month.
A source said: “Age catches up with everyone—even Kate. But she hasn’t been told anything by Rimmel.

“At 33 she’s getting on in terms of modelling. And she recently moaned about her face, saying she needed Botox.

The treatments should be easily affordable: after her front page cocaine scandals Kate racked up a career high of contracts and campaigns. It was all the more notable as she cruised by with the most Diet Coke version of rehab and mea culpa. Back in the day some real crawling was required for public forgiveness … but little KatMo pretty much scribbled half an apology on a post-it, stuck it on the front door and left town for a long weekend in Ibiza.

Back with a slight tan and a little sand in her luggage … Burberry and the rest of the world did glam photos and big hugs … and all was right with the world. Tick Tick Tick … time rumbles on and the International Code of Model Shelf-Life kicks in.

How long till the Kate Motox cover story… tick tick tick again.

Pictures from KateMossCollection forum and Kate Moss Fans’ Gallery at Libero.It.

Leonardo DiCaprio has been linked with 21-year-old Israeli model Bar Rafaeli since April of last year.

They were rumored to be having trouble when he was seen arguing with someone over the phone at an after party for the premiere of his film Blood Diamonds in London on January 21st. Rafaeli was not there and Leo was in a bad mood when photographers tried to get pictures of him leaving a club afterwards. Friends claimed DiCaprio finds Rafaeli “clingy” and that they had hit a rough patch.

DiCaprio sparked more rumors of trouble in his relationship when he said that hot British TV presenter Cat Deely was “lovely” and that “This country [England] churns out some of the loveliest women in the world.”

Now Rafaeli is rumored to have said goodbye to DiCaprio because she’s fed up with his partying and busy schedule:

The stunning Israeli model is said to have brought an end to their six-month relationship because she was unable to cope with the Titanic star’s hectic work schedule and constant partying.

A friend of the model tells News Of The World, “Bar is a professional model so she has to be healthy and look great every day, so there is no way that she could keep up with that kind of decadent lifestyle.

“When they were apart she worried about what he was up to and in the end decided it would be easier and less painful just to say enough is enough.”

DiCaprio has recently been in London celebrating his recent Best Actor Oscar nomination for Blood Diamond.

A member of his entourage adds, “Leo was gutted when Bar told him it was over. But he is at the top of his game at the moment and there’s no danger of his changing his ways any time soon.”

[via Gossip Rocks]

I would like to see DiCaprio get married and start a family. He was with Gisele for years, and although he has a penchant for models and going out, it seems like he’s capable of a long term relationship and commitment.

Guys at the top of of their game like DiCaprio seem like they’re ready to get married at about 35/36. DiCaprio is 32, so he has a few more years left in him before he settles down. I’m not saying marriage is for everyone, just that DiCaprio seems like the type who would take to it nicely, kind of like Ben Affleck after all his tough times.

Of course UrbanDK would say that DiCaprio got dumped because he’s looking like a porkchop lately, but he’s still a babe to me.

Among the recovered things in the contents of Paris’ 6,000 foot storage space now available for your online perusal through an alternate location of the Paris Exposed site was a bill for a “miscarriage” in March, 2003, made out to Amber Taylor. Taylor had the same birthdate and address as Paris, and there was also an empty bottle and prescription for Xanax made out to Taylor.

Several commentors here pointed out that the document lists the procedure as “Dilation and Cutterage,” with the diagnosis of “Miscarriage,” which could also mean that she had an abortion.

User amelia_heinle on the aggregate celebrity news site Oh No They Didn’t looked for pictures of ubiquitious Paris on the day of her BFF’s medical procedure, and found them. Paris was seen out at the opening of now-closed Japanese restaurant White Lotus in Hollywood that evening. She looked a little out of it, but no more so than usual.

The Pariscarriage miscarriage document is dated 03/07/03.
I figured there must be some photos of Paris from around that time on the internet. I went to Getty Images and, lucky me, here she is on March 7, 2003, the night of Amber Taylor’s miscarriage, at the opening of White Lotus…

While a lot of people are saying this whole scandal smacks of Paris-led publicity and that it’s suspect that she wouldn’t pay the bill on a storage facility, I still think it’s a legitimate concern for her. The moving company was said to be responsible for storing her things and making sure the bill was paid. Moving companies are notorious at scamming people, and two friends of mine were victims of a bait and switch moving scam by different companies. To have a moving company neglect to pay a bill they were responsible for seems quite likely to me.

17 year-old Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe will break out of his child actor role with a controversial turn on the London stage in the acclaimed play Equus. Radcliffe will portray a stable boy who is pathologically fascinated with horses, and is in therapy with a psychologist who faces his own issues while treating him.

Radcliffe will act out a sex scene and will also appear in the buff on stage, as I’m sure you’ve heard.

Equus premieres at London’s Gielgud Theater on February 27, and also stars Richard Griffiths as the therapist. You may know Griffiths from the Harry Potter movies, where he plays Harry’s mean bumbling uncle, Vernon Dursley.

The fifth Harry Potter film, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is tentatively due for release in the US on July 13, 2007.

Pictures from Celebrity.Log via Lipstick.

Mike Tyson has checked into the same Wonderland rehab that Lindsay Lohan was said to have ruined for everyone. At least one resident complained that all of the freedom given to Lohan during her stay had adversely affected the facility, where regulations were lifted after Lindsay breezed in and started treating it like a hotel.

That seems to suit Mike Tyson fine. Tyson was caught in a club parking lot in Arizona in December with a bunch of cocaine - right after he busted out of a presumably more restrictive rehab. Now he’s checked into Wonderland to keep Lohan company when she feels like showing up.

The 40-year-old reportedly checked himself into the Wonderland Center this past weekend (ends28Jan07) in the Hollywood Hills.

Yesterday we reported a story from The National Enquirer that claimed that Lindsay was bucking the staff at the facility despite the fact that they’re letting her come and go and have lifted the rules on her behalf. Staff members were said to suspect that she suffers from bipolar disorder. Some commentors noted that it could be possible, while others said it’s a serious disorder that shouldn’t be mentioned unless there’s real proof that Lindsay has it.

If people trying to get sober thought things were crazy at Wonderland with Lohan there, how is it going to be now that Mike Tyson is in the house?