Tonight I’m having trouble with Wordpress and am not able to edit older posts for some reason.

Here are pictures of the celebrities I mentioned in the last post. I’m still looking for pictures of pregnant Naomi Watts

Ellen Degeres is doing ok. She’s not that funny to me, and I find her red velvet suit kind of ridiculous, but I never really thought she was funny funny. Anyway she supposedly wrote this opening dialogue herself and you can tell because it sounds like her regular comedy.

She’s joking about the people who don’t win, and that seems to be a theme as they had a decent opening clip about the non-winners. It seemed more like a commercial for apple or something that went on too long, but it was pretty cute.

Here are the pictures, thanks to GossipRocks and Hollywood’s Best. I’ll add more shortly. Thanks!

Pan’s Labyrinth just won for best art direction. The winner was emotional but didn’t go on for too long.

Maggie Gyllenhaal looks gorgeous. She seems ot have lost all her baby weight. She’s discussing the technical awards portion of the Academy Awards that she hosted. She’s talking kind of sexy and seems to be turning on the charm. Her black one-shoulder dress (one shoulder sash dresses seem to be popular tonight) is lovely.

Will Ferrell is doing a goofy song about a sad comedian at the Oscars. Jack Black just ran in with his shaggy air-dried hair to liven up the act. They’re calling out people in the audience. Now that guy who was also in Talledega Knights, John C. Reilly, stood up in the audience and came on stage to join the act. He’s a surprisingly good singer. They’re doing a great job and it’s a pretty good bit.

Again, the theme seems to be something like “yearning for an Oscar” and they’re singing about that.

Pan’s Labyrinth just won for best makeup. They’re really cracking down on the speeches as the second winner got cut off mid-speech and seemed kind of pissed.

Will Smith’s son Jaden and Abigail Breslin from Little Miss Sunshine presented the award for best short animated film, and they were really cute. Jaden messed up briefly but recovered well.

Well I passed out at 3:30 our time, which was just an hour and a half into the Oscars, and didn’t get to live blog the whole thing obviously. I’m watching the taped version now, and will comment on the segments that are particulary interesting.

Leonardo DiCaprio and Vice President Al Gore just did a cute segment about how the Oscars have gone green and how you can do your part to stop global climate change by visiting Oscar.com. They joked that Gore had a big announcement and he took out a piece and paper like he was going to announce another run for the presidency but was cut off by the music. My favorite part was seeing them go back stage, smiling and laughing. (Gore won Best Documentary for An Inconvenient Truth a bit later in the night.)

Overall it is more entertaining than in the past and it seems like whatever they tried to do to revamp it worked. Ellen is engaging the audience, talking to them and having little conversations with people, and so far the entertainment and clip segments have been pretty good. I love the shadow dancers that make little shapes throughout the show.

Can I just saw how damn excited I am that The Departed won best picture? I loved that movie. I saw it on a plane and screamed so loud at the end that the guy in front of me woke up. Then I tried to ask him if he’d seen it, it was that good. (He mumbled “no,” but if he’s seen it now he surely understands my enthusiasm in retrospect.)

I do think Cars should have won best animated feature because I’ve seen it about 20 times, it doesn’t get old, and I still notice cute things about it, much like last years’ winner Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Wererabbit. My son obviously feels the same about it. (Happy Feet is probably just as good or better, and once that comes out on DVD I’m sure to see it over and over again too.)

Here’s the complete list of winners.

Best Picture: “Babel,” “The Departed,” “Letters From Iwo Jima,” “Little Miss Sunshine,” “The Queen.”

Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio, “Blood Diamond”; Ryan Gosling, “Half Nelson”; Peter O’Toole, “Venus”; Will Smith, “The Pursuit of Happyness”; Forest Whitaker, “The Last King of Scotland.”

Actress: Penelope Cruz, “Volver”; Judi Dench, “Notes on a Scandal”; Helen Mirren, “The Queen”; Meryl Streep, “The Devil Wears Prada”; Kate Winslet, “Little Children.”

Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin, “Little Miss Sunshine”; Jackie Earle Haley, “Little Children”; Djimon Hounsou, “Blood Diamond”; Eddie Murphy, “Dreamgirls”; Mark Wahlberg, “The Departed.”

Supporting Actress: Adriana Barraza, “Babel”; Cate Blanchett, “Notes on a Scandal”; Abigail Breslin, “Little Miss Sunshine”; Jennifer Hudson, “Dreamgirls” ; Rinko Kikuchi, “Babel.”

Directing: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, “Babel”; Martin Scorsese, “The Departed”; Clint Eastwood, “Letters From Iwo Jima”; Stephen Frears, “The Queen”; Paul Greengrass, “United 93.”

Foreign Language Film: “After the Wedding,” Denmark; “Days of Glory (Indigenes),” Algeria; “The Lives of Others,” Germany; “Pan’s Labyrinth,” Mexico; “Water,” Canada.

Adapted Screenplay: Sacha Baron Cohen and Anthony Hines and Peter Baynham and Dan Mazer and Todd Phillips, “Borat Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan”; Alfonso Cuaron and Timothy J. Sexton and David Arata and Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby, “Children of Men”; William Monahan, “The Departed”; Todd Field and Tom Perrotta, “Little Children”; Patrick Marber, “Notes on a Scandal.”

Original Screenplay: Guillermo Arriaga, “Babel”; Iris Yamashita and Paul Haggis, “Letters From Iwo Jima”; Michael Arndt, “Little Miss Sunshine”; Guillermo del Toro, “Pan’s Labyrinth”; Peter Morgan, “The Queen.”

Animated Feature Film: “Cars,” “Happy Feet,” “Monster House.”

Art Direction: “Dreamgirls,” “The Good Shepherd,” “Pan’s Labyrinth,” “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest,” “The Prestige.”

Cinematography: “The Black Dahlia,” “Children of Men,” “The Illusionist,” “Pan’s Labyrinth,” “The Prestige.”

Sound Mixing: “Apocalypto,” “Blood Diamond,” “Dreamgirls,” “Flags of Our Fathers,” “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.”

Sound Editing: “Apocalypto,” “Blood Diamond,” “Flags of Our Fathers,” “Letters From Iwo Jima,” “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.”

Original Score: “Babel,” Gustavo Santaolalla ; “The Good German,” Thomas Newman; “Notes on a Scandal,” Philip Glass; “Pan’s Labyrinth,” Javier Navarrete; “The Queen,” Alexandre Desplat.

Original Song: “I Need to Wake Up” from “An Inconvenient Truth,” Melissa Etheridge; “Listen” from “Dreamgirls,” Henry Krieger, Scott Cutler and Anne Preven; “Love You I Do” from “Dreamgirls,” Henry Krieger and Siedah Garrett; “Our Town” from “Cars,” Randy Newman; “Patience” from “Dreamgirls,” Henry Krieger and Willie Reale.

Costume: “Curse of the Golden Flower,” “The Devil Wears Prada,” “Dreamgirls,” “Marie Antoinette,” “The Queen.”

Documentary Feature: “Deliver Us From Evil,” “An Inconvenient Truth,” “Iraq in Fragments,” “Jesus Camp,” “My Country, My Country.”

Documentary (short subject): “The Blood of Yingzhou District,” “Recycled Life,” “Rehearsing a Dream,” “Two Hands.”

Film Editing: “Babel,” “Blood Diamond,” “Children of Men,” “The Departed,” “United 93.”

Makeup: “Apocalypto,” “Click,” “Pan’s Labyrinth.”

Animated Short Film: “The Danish Poet,” “Lifted,” “The Little Matchgirl,” “Maestro,” “No Time for Nuts.”

Live Action Short Film: “Binta and the Great Idea (Binta Y La Gran Idea),” “Eramos Pocos (One Too Many),” “Helmer & Son,” “The Saviour,” “West Bank Story.”

Visual Effects: “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest,” “Poseidon,” “Superman Returns.”

And here are red carpet pictures from Gossip Rocks, Hollywood’s Best and Just Jared. I’ll comment on the fashion a bit later in “Best Dressed” and “Worst Dressed” posts.

Maybe it is true that Brad and Angelina are in the process of adopting a boy from Vietnam, because they didn’t show up at the Oscars as expected last night. I was pretty disappointed, as I wanted to see what Angelina would be wearing and if she could manage to crack a smile. She seemed happy in pictures taken from her balcony looking down on Mardi Gras, so I thought that might extend to the Oscars, where Brad and Angelina were expected to make their third red carpet appearance in grand style.

Both Brad and Angelina appeared in movies that were nominated for Oscars. Angelina’s super-boring film with Matt Damon, The Good Shepherd, was only nominated for art direction, but Brad’s film Babel was considered by some to be the front-runner for best picture and was nominated in several other categories. It was expected that they would come to show support for Brad’s film at least. (Babel only ended up winning in the best musical score category.)

Maybe it was too soon after Angelina’s mother died. Brad has seemed to be understandably annoyed at paparazzi lately. He acted a little grumpy with them after Angelina’s mother died and was seen trying in vain to reason with them a bit later.

The official excuse is that Angelina is near Dafur on a UN peacekeeping mission, but I bet there’s something to that rumor that they’re adopting another child. We’ll have to see.

Here’s a link to pictures of Brad and Angelina at the Golden Globes.

And here’s a big picture post with examples of Angelina’s fashion from Oscars past.

Anne Hathaway says her white lace dress with bows at the neckline and back of the legs was a leftover from The Devil Wears Prada. She seems to realize that the bow is unflattering as she’s seen trying to cover it in one photo.Her makeup looked pretty and not overdone, though.

Jennifer Hudson wore a brown Oscar De La Renta gown with pockets - that she put her hands in self-consicously while on the red carpet - and an odd silver python bolero jacket with an upturned collar. The gown wasn’t bad on it’s own, but the weird jacket gave her a retro sci-fi look. Luckily she removed the jacket during the ceremony. Hudson was dripping in Fred Leighton diamonds. Eurweb called Hudson’s look “Lane Bryant meets Star Trek.”

All the diamonds in the world couldn’t make Cameron Diaz look classy in this outfit. She wore a cheap-looking white satin Valentino gown with straight-cut hanging flaps of fabric and $2.9 million worth of diamond Cartier accessories. Messy hair and makeup and a weird-looking tan paired with a too-white dress made her look dirty.

I may get some heat for this, but I really don’t like Penelope Cruz’s pink dress by Atelier Versace. It looks ridiculous to me. It’s gathered way too tight on top and then it’s huge on the bottom with big billowing feathers. It looks like it took hours to wrap her up in it. Her hair is too severe, although her makeup is well done. She paired it with Chopard diamond earrings and bracelet.

Kelly Preston takes the prize in a Flinstones’ halter dress with a leopard print.

The gaudy stones on Beyonce’s light green Armani Privé dress are too much, although the cut of the dress is decent.

Jennifer Lopez looked good to me on television as I was focusing on her hair and makeup, but I don’t like her dress in the red carpet photos. She was seen in an ill-fitting silk empire-waist Marchesa gown with a strange neckline draped with rows of crystals.

One shoulder gowns and solid colors dominated at the Oscars last night. There was a lot of beauty and some superb fashion on display. The best was a delicate mix of elegant, simply styled single-colored gowns and striking accents.

Kate Winslet wore a lovely sea green Valentino floor length gown with one shoulder that continued in a cape-like sash down the back. Her outfit was complimented with Chopard yellow diamond earrings and a big matching ring. She carried a gold turtle-patterned clutch with a tassel.

Rachel Weisz was stunning in a long silver satin Vera Wang dress with subtle accent lace at the neck and back. She wore a vintage diamond Cartier necklace and struck just the right balance between flair and simplicity.

Reese Witherspoon looked flawless in straight blunt-cut hair with bangs, a strapless navy Nina Ricci tiered dress, and a 38-carat diamond Van Cleef and Arpels bracelet.

Cate Blanchett wore a one-shoulder Giorgio Armani Privé gown, with a tulle beaded floral overlay. She wore diamond jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz.

Thanks to People.com for the gown details.

With the notable exceptions of Cameron Diaz and Celine Dion, most of the women with bad hair and makeup wore risky dresses that they managed to look pretty good in from the neck down.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s peach-colored Zach Posen tulle and chiffon gown is complicated but flatters her figure well. It looks like she did her hair and makeup herself, though, as she has the same weighed-down too-long straight hair that she’s always seen with lately, and her lips are too red for her pastel-colored dress.

Like Paltrow, Kirsten Dunst is also wearing bright red lipstick with a neutral gown. Red lips are not in this season. It seems like they both just chose their lipstick color using the old “red lipstick for special events” rule that no longer applies. Dunst’s hair was pulled back with plain straight bangs stuck on her forehead. Dust is seen with her 19 year-old brother, Christian. Her dress is a little much with the feathers on the bottom sides, but the top part is decent. I have not been able to identify the designer. Her dress is vintage Chanel.

Cameron Diaz’s bleeding blue eye shadow with too much black eyeliner, dirty brown skin, and sloppy hair are just terrible. She should fire her stylist, hair and makeup people.

Jessica Biel’s curly upswept ‘do gave her hair a frizzy look that didn’t suit her. She wore a pink Oscar de la Renta gown with a black belt and seems to have neglected to apply those sticky things you put over your nipples to keep them from showing through sheer fabric. Her makeup is fine, though.

Eva Green loves the goth look, but it just seems out of place at the Oscars. Her straight hair with a puff crown wasn’t as bad as it’s been in the Bride of Frankenstein past, but I don’t like her smoky creepy eyes. Let me know if you think she pulls it off. Her gauzy dress is not my taste, but it’s not awful either.

Celine Dion’s drab hair drags her down in a too-loose green draped dress that makes her look skinnier than usual. Her makeup seenms cheap with light bronze eyeshadow that’s not blended well, and heavily applied, clumpy mascara.

John Travolta’s spray on hair and too-light foundation coupled with black eyeliner applied to the membranes of his eyes make his the worst makeup of the night.

Update I just realized that Rachel Weisz had dark red lips that she managed to make work. Her dress was silver, though, not pastel, and her lips were a darker red than Dunst and Paltrow, who wore a brighter color. Dunst’s dress is vintage Chanel.

And no that’s not the pitch for Charlize Theron’s new Anna Nicole Smith project. Also pictorial evidence to the contrary the Skipper isn’t marrying Tranny Gilligan.

Richard Johnson breaks it all down for us :

The buzz of the weekend Oscar parties was that Hugh Hefner, 80, will get married again before the end of the year to his No. 1 girlfriend, Holly Madison. “This is very secret, but the word is ‘yes,’ ” one insider told Page Six.

Proving once again that ‘insiders’ don’t understand the concept very secret … a problem they seem to share with ‘sources close to’ ‘bestfriend/managers’ and anyone in the vicinity of a Hilton or driving a late model Kardashian.

Still where would we be without these indiscreet chatterboxes? (Hanging out at Rubyfruits with Liz Smith hoping for some pre-publication scraps from the feisty old Texas Blonde.)

“Hef has decided he will marry Holly, and he wants it for his show, ‘The Girls Next Door.’ Hef thinks business all the time, and looks for a new hook, although he also does really love Holly.” Madison is just one of three of the Playboy founder’s buxom blond girlfriends featured on the show.

Christie Hefner must be so proud - pushing up on 60 herself, CEO of the Empire, and her Dads still out there trying to find a Momma for his little girl. A bleached, buffed Photoshopped Momma that can pull in ratings, ancilliary broadcast markets and DVD profits. A Father’s Love know no ends. Well in this case it actually knows three self tanner tinted ends rather well … but he’s rewarding dedication

“But Hef sees that she [Holly Madison] is the most dedicated,” said our source. “Kendra is never there, and they both hate each other, and Bridget is hanging on by being very friendly to Holly.” Hefner, who has been married twice before, is keeping the wedding plans secret for now because monogamy will kill his reality show.

If the reality show doesn’t kill this sly old monogamist first. Talk about dying with your boots on.

pictures via parstimes

Britney Spears is still in that spa-quality overpriced celebrity rehab three and a half record-setting days later. She has just 27 - 42 days to go, depending on how long the program takes for her.

K-Fed was said to have visited her on Friday without the kids, and his friends say “he’s so stressed out” but I’m sure he’s making the whoop-whoop sound with his fist circling in the air once he’s behind closed doors. The divorce seems like it’s going to go a lot easier for him now that Britney is proving what a shit parent she is. Mo kids mo money for K-Fed.

According to People Magazine, Federline paid another visit to bald Britney on Saturday night, bringing their two kids along this time. US Weekly said it was just Britney’s mom who visited her with the children on Saturday, staying two hours.

90 plus days sober Daniel Baldwin said he “ran into” Britney in Malibu, probably at a meeting in rehab and that she’s “doing great,” but is “a little fearful.” He said that it takes a lot of effort to stay wasted all the time and that if she just focuses that work on her sobriety she can make it.

Meanwhile Britney’s first ex husband Jason Alexander gave yet another tell-all interview to Britain’s Mirror. He said he did some heavy drugs with her in the days right before their quickie Vegas marriage. She passed out at one point and when he put her in the shower to wake up she slipped and hit her head. From his story, it sounds like she overdosed and should have been taken to the hospital.

He said “We used ecstasy at night to party and cocaine during the day to stay awake. Then we would take downers like Valium or Vicodin to come down and rest. Britney stayed up three days straight over New Year. I couldn’t keep up. She definitely had a problem with drugs when we were together - and that was three years ago. She has got herself in a cycle which is hard to break.”

He also told a story about how she was having lesbian sex with one of her backup dancers and he joined in. Alexander claims she would regularly get it on with her male and female backup dancers.

After all that drug use, sex and debauchery in their Vegas hotel suite Britney proposed to him and he accepted. Her family convinced her to annul the marriage, though, and he’s rarely seen her since.

Alexander said he’s worried she’ll end up like Anna Nicole. At least Britney’s family is pulling for her, which is more than Anna had. Anna and Britney seem to have about the same number of exes willing to talk shit about them to the gossip rags in exchange for some cash, though.

Here’s Britney’s ex, Jason Alexander, looking really high. Pictures from BreatheHeavy.com.

Sweet, sweet high calorie, low exercise, lazy-eyed, droopy-lidded rose petal-covered Whitaker loving. Apparently its so good that his first ever baby mamma still wants him back. Where else but in The News of The world:

his ex-girlfriend is still MADLY IN LOVE with the overweight actor and PRAYS he’ll leave his wife and go back to her one day.

Besotted Monique Miller, speaking for the first time about their turbulent 20-year relationship, said: “I idolised him and I still do.

“I long for us to be a proper family even though he is married and has children with another woman.

“Tonight when I watch Forest on TV at the Oscars it will be with an overwhelming sense of pride, but also great sadness as I think of the gaping hole in our lives.”

Ahhh yes theres nothing like an overweight actor doing well to bring the whole ‘gaping hole of your lives’ aspect to the fore. How do you think James Gandolfini does so well with the honeys … or John Travolta with the muscular young Scientologists. But enough about other famous fatties … Back to the star of the moment - the Last Fat Haggis Eating King of Scotland:

Monique, 43, revealed how the star:

# DROVE her wild with candlelit sex sessions in rose-scented baths.

# DRIFTED apart from her as he tasted more and more Tinseltown fame.

# BEDDED a string of other women.

# REFUSED to stand bail when she was locked up for trashing his flat after finding condoms on the floor.

First three points not so interesting … but condom findage always promises to deliver that extra babymomma trash bonus. And we are not disappointed:

She recalled: “One day I drove to see him at our old house and found condoms on the floor. Another woman had clearly just left our old bed and I went berserk.

“I tore up a load of paintings he had just bought and hacked up the bed. I was covered in feathers and maple syrup as Forest had been eating pancakes in bed.

“The police came and locked me up. Forest refused to pay my bail and I spent 24 hours in jail.”

Listen if Pancakeboy wont have you back - even covered in syrup - then it’s time to move on Monique. The Last King of IHOP has left the building.