I am rather in favor of Madonna’s self-consciously strict and old fashioned regimen for raising kids. It’s the flip side of rebel … and seems appropriate for living in the UK with its grand tradition of young radicals who turn into old fogies

Madonna once confessed that she’s the disciplinarian in the family, forbidding her children from watching TV at all, which she called “trash.”

She is continuing with bringing the hard discipline to bear on the kids — and announcing the policies to the press before they have even pubesced. She broke it down for Jeanette Walls over at MSNBC

The woman who brought the world the book “Sex” has become a prudish mom. Madonna has banned her 10-year-old from dating until she’s 18.

“No boys for [Lourdes] until she turns 18,” the “Papa Don’t Preach” crooner says, according to WENN. “She’s a good girl, though. She doesn’t have it easy. Late-night TV, junk food and mess are not tolerated in my house.”

Irony is headed straight for Madonna with a big thick irony stick … when it gets to her English mansion it is gonna whack her long and hard till she clearly feels the irony all over her well muscled, HRT limbered frame.

If genetics play true Lourdes may not be in much of an adolescent mood to listen to a strict disciplinarian Mom. She may cut on over to chill with Dad and the Santeria crowd in Miami, date inappropriately, dance all night and drive her mother mad. Hell she might just slip out of the house and do it in decadent London town. Some girls do.

Then again maybe Madge knows the best gift you can give a kid is something worth rebelling against … the Madonna self-knowledge index is always a hard one to read. Just when you think she’s in on the joke … then you ain’t so sure.

Teenage kids banned from dating till they are 18 should ensure that the joke will be permanently on her.

pics via the bosh

Justin Timberlake lost out on best pop vocal album at the Grammy’s this year to John Mayer. He did take home two awards for Best Rap/Sung Collaboration for My Love featuring T.I. and Best Dance Recording for Sexy Back. He was also nominated in the album of the year category, which went to the Dixie Chicks, who pretty much swept the awards.

At one point, though, Timberlake was duped into thinking he’d won the best pop album award. His name came up as the winner on a tv screen during the Grammy rehearsal and he got so excited he could hardly contain himself:

During the start-to-finish run through rehearsal for the Grammy Awards, Justin Timberlake punched a fist in the air and whooped when he spotted his name flash across a TV monitor with the subtitle: “WINNER, Best Pop Vocal Album!” Charging out of his dressing room where he’d been awaiting his cue, Justin excitedly grabbed people backstage, asking “Is it true? Did I win?… Do they know the winners ahead of time?” A passing producer finally broke the sad news - a typist banging out title cards for the run-through arbitrarily picks names from the nominee list and throws them on the screen. Visibly dissapointed, Justin mumbled, “Oh.. thanks,” and walked slowly back to his dressing room.

[From The National Enquirer print edition, Mike Walker's column, March 5, 2007]

That’s got to burn. He did get a couple of awards at least.

There’s a recent story that Timberlake’s people are in a dispute with an Illinios bar owner who is promoting an autograph signing appearance with him on March 13, when he will be on Chicago on tour. The bar owner claims to have paid $25,000 to a promoter for Timberlake to show up, but his lawyer says he knows nothing about it.

Timberlake is a busy man, and was dating bootlicious Jessica Biel a short while ago but now seems to be keeping busy with Scarlet Johansson. Here’s the “What Goes Around” video he used as a pretense to get close to Johansson, no stranger to sexy herself.

It includes some F bombs and is NSFW. I don’t think it’s that great, but there’s drama and Scarlet Johansson in lingerie so it kept me watching until the end.

Here are a bunch of candids of Timberlake in Tampa on February 23rd. If you think he’s sexy are are into golf, today is your lucky day. I don’t think the woman he’s with is a romantic interest. She’s identified only as “Rachael.”

Thanks to TimberlakeNow.net for these pictures.

He loves it.
He wishes he never got involved with it.
He damn well ain’t gonna give it up

… is George Michael talking about:

A) Toilet Sex
B) Andrew Ridgely
C) Toilet Sex with Andrew Ridgely
D) Da Chronic

The Answer to these and more of your questions on the his creative process are in an exclusive interview with Corrine Barraclough in The News Of the World

He exclusively reveals that his drug habit has become an addiction - and is threatening his livelihood.

“I wish I’d never started smoking pot,” admits George, 43. “It soothes my soul but it also destroys my voice. I am addicted to marijuana - I need it to stay creative.

“The purpose of it is to create a daze. That’s why a lot of musicians smoke it - me included. I know I shouldn’t do it. It definitely makes the walls of my boxes tumble down.

Ahhh George … when the walls of that box come tumbling down you have of late seemed to be asleep behind the wheel of your car. Its really the kind of box that’s best tumbled at home.

Still he has some advice for the young kids coming up

“I was already an established artist when I started smoking. I’m not sure whether I would have become a successful artist had I started smoking as a teenager because pot makes you self-contented and lazy. You are easily satisfied when you are high - which is not good at the beginning of a career. But I’m sure smoking pot is the only thing - as stupid as it is - that makes it possible for me to continue my work.”

Conflicted and odd advice … but advice nonetheless .., The real lesson to be learned here is hang on to enough of your wealth and success and someone will marry you — and even rest a restrainng pudgy little paw on your chest.

George now lives with his long-term partner, Kenny Goss, and says his life is “getting better and better”. The pair are said to be planning a civil partnership gay wedding.

They may look like Tyne Daly in a black velvet tux … but hey every stoned Cagney needs a Lacey to love …and go on those late night Ben And Jerrys runs.

pics via News of the World

He just cannot stand to see that young woman do too well … it rubs something in his tortured half-soul the wrong way. Liz Smith gives us the big hearted Texan breakdown:

Jennifer Hudson, did win big - but lost big, too, because of the much ridiculed metallic bolero Andre Leon Talley made her put on. (Post fashion editor Serena French said it made her look “lost in space.”) “Jennifer was kind of sponsored by Talley and Vogue,” said one fashionista. “Andre insisted she wear that hideous Oscar de la Renta dress with the awful, awful gold python bolero.

It’s a classic case of Fashion Passive Aggression. The odd internal politics of the little fashion world promote their own odd menagerie of characters dictatorial powers. They decide to put Jennifer Hudson on the cover of Vogue — purchase her soul directly from her church deacon and then wrap her in vinegar, brown paper and tinfoil and send her to the Oscars.

Leon Talley is a personally monstrous dresser who has nonetheless long been established as a tastemaker and an editorial force – and one suspects was more invested in forcing Hudson to kowtow to his Chewbacca will then actually craft her look or make her happy as a fashion client.

“Jennifer really didn’t want to, and so [noted stylist] Jessica Paster got her a beautiful gold Roberto Cavalli custom-made. But when Andre found out, he went ballistic. Moments before she left for the show, there was a power struggle and Jennifer ended up putting his outfit on.”

It’s a case of the psychological needs of the stylist wining out over the styled … that’s never good. Wookies should use their powers for good not for evil.

pics via PerezHilton

I’m seriously wondering if Sarah Michelle Gellar is pregnant. Sarah’s got a great body, she doesn’t need to hide it under a mini mumu thing like this unless there was something worth hiding, don’t you think?

It still looks too early to tell for sure, but as of now, we’re on the Buffy Bump Watch. Whether there’s a baby Prinze Jr. II in there or it’s just an ugly dress, we’re gonna get to the bottom of this.

Photo via Just Jared.

- Britney is said to have post-partum depression and to be reading Brooke Shields’ book while in rehab [ICYDK]
- Britney Spears booked an entire wing of that Promises rehab for herself [The Superficial]
- Are K-Fed and Britney reconciling? [yeeeah]
- Creepy crazy bald Britney doll [DListed]
- Ryan Seacrest’s most awkward Oscar moments [PopSugar]
- Christina Ricci’s Black Moan Snake Promo Stills [Bastardly]
- Judge Larry Seidlin got his tv show [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Reese Witherspoon and Jen Garner hanging out together [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
- Orlando Blom and Penelope Cruz probably had sex Sunday night [Celebslam]
- Penelope Cruz in lingerie [Popoholic]
- Darryl Hannah says that she was offered Julia Roberts’ role in Pretty Women and turned it down because it was degrading to women. [Hollyscoop]
- Is Katherine Heigl leaving Grey’s Anatomy? [CelebWarship]
- After Eddie Murphy lost the best supporting actor trophy to Alan Arkin he left in a huff and didn’t even see Jennifer Hudson win [IDLYITW]
- Keira Knightley is an emaciated ghost [Derek Hail]
- Lindsay Lohan lost that weight she gained in rehab, so she’s probably back on the skinny sauce [The Skinny Website]
- How to be the perfect girlfriend [The Grumpiest]
- Lauren Hutton wore a sweater over her Oscar gown [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
- Petra Nemcova’s half nip slip [Drunken Stepfather]
- Leiv Schreiber confirms Naomi Watts is pregnant [Glitterati]
- What is happening to Rose McGowan? [Hollywood Tuna]
- Paul McCartney picks up his three year-old daughter Beatrice from a party [Celebrity Baby Blog]
- Matthew McConaughey has lost the beard but not the abs [Just Jared]
- Jennifer Love Hewitt has great boobs [Hollywood Tuna]

Warning: the following article contains explicit descriptions of sexual acts. If you are under 18, if this will offend you, or if you just don’t want to think about this crap you should hit the back button on your browser now.

A celebrity madam who was convicted of running an international prostitution ring has released a tell-all book on her website that details clients’ encounters with her paid escorts. Jody “Babydol” Gibson served a 22 month sentence in scary California prison Chowchilla where she was beaten by inmates, resulting in a fractured skull. During her trial her client list was blacked out, but she got of of jail in 2002 and is now cashing in with a tell-all book.

Among the celebrities she claims were clients of her agency were Ben Affleck, Mark Wahlberg, Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Robert Evans. The book is available online for $2.99 a chapter, and I ponied up for the one on Affleck. It reads like bad erotica, and I removed some of the crap where she goes on about how hot the story is making her, but she gets the point across.

Gibson had a password-protected website of available women at the time Affleck contacted her. To get in, you needed to be referred by an existing client. While Gibson does not provide specific dates in her details about Affleck, she does say that it was pre-J.Lo and pre-Pearl Harbor, which came out in 2001. (She said that there was talk later that Tom Sizemore and Ben Affleck were hiring hookers while filming Pearl Harbor.) Gibson, who went by “Sasha” when she ran her business, was arrested on June 8, 1999, so Affleck probably used her services in 1998 or early 1999. He would have been around 26.

Affleck told Gibson that he wanted a busty blonde girl who had a perky personality. He asked for a specific girl from the website, Alyssa, and requested that she wear a short skirt suit and bring lingerie with her. He was staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel at the time.

He also asked Gibson if the girl he requested “partied,” which meant did she do drugs, and she said she did, but that Ben had to take care of the details.

Here’s the relevant section of the chapter, which is pretty flattering to Ben. Apparently, he only hired a hooker from her the one time, and she praised his sexual skills. He was doing a lot of cocaine and it sounds like he enjoyed just regular athletic sex:

“Hi girl, how’d it go? You should absolutely exhausted!” I began.

“Oh, I am but he was soooo hot! Oh, My God, he gave it to me all night!” she exclaimed.

“Really? Do tell. How big was he? Which way did he like fucking you the most?” I said with a twinge of jealousy in a fun sort of way the girls like.

“Sash, he’s like a good eight inches! Plus, after doing coke all night it seemed like he could stay hard forever! He liked me on all fours of course with my ass up in the air. But my favorite was sitting on hom ’cause he was so cute to look at.” she said…

“Sash, are you listening?” she interrupted my thoughs.

“Mmm, sounds yummy,” I commented.

I was getting real wet.

“How was the bungalow? Was it gorgeous?” I asked…

“Yeah, he was such a great fuck!” Alyssa admitted…

“We begand in the Jacuzzi he had in his room. He loved my titties and went crazy sucking on them while they were all wet. I sucked his cock in there first. Remember that session you and I had once where you demonstrated on a dildo how to lick a guy’s balls and take his cock deep in my throat while sticking my finger up his ass? Well it worked! Then, we jumpted out and he fucked me right there on the floor! Of course I quickly opted for the comfort of the big bed in the room. The rug burns on both my elbows are killing me! We stayed up all night doing coke. And of course, money was no object so you know I ordered some of my favorite Crystal champage! It was the best gig I ever had!” she exclaimed again.

“Plus,” she continued “Not only did he have a great cock, but he sure knew how to use it! He had this way of fucking me where he would pound me real fast for a while then slow down almost like teasing me, and then give it to me hard again. I’m a wreck! I probably won’t walk for a week! I know how yo uavoid getting involved with supplying any of the party favors. I had a friend on standby with the coke for us so we wouldn’t run out” she said.

[From Supermadam Secrets online book, Chapter 6]

Affleck paid $3,5000 for a night with the woman, which was supposedly cheaper than the normal rate because the madam liked him and wanted him to use her services again. He gave her a $500 tip.

Gibson provides a picture of her black book as evidence, stamped with an evidence date from her trial. It’s marked “Ben A to Alyssa” and has the prices in it. The court stamp is from October, 2002, which isn’t consistent with the supposed dates of her trial, but maybe it was stamped afterwards.

I guess this isn’t surprising considering how much he liked to party. What I found interesting was that he preferred a blonde, because he went out with J.Lo afterwards and then married Jennifer Garner. He was also linked briefly to brunettes Famke Janssen and Jerry Seinfeld’s ex, Shoshanna Lonstein. Affleck did date Gwyneth Paltrow in the late 90s so maybe he was into blondes at that time.

I was disappointed the Ben wasn’t into anything kinky. I’m interested to know what Bruce Willis, Mark Wahlberg and Robert Evans (who she calls the “godfather of kink”) did with the hookers. According to the preview of the chapter on Bruce Willis, he hired five girls at once! Let me know what you guys want to hear about and I’ll read those chapters and report on them too.

Here are some classic pictures of Affleck. He was pretty hot, and still is. Garner is a lucky woman, although it’s sure to sting when her husband’s past is coming back like this. I don’t think much will be made of it, though.

There’s now a totally speculative account that Anna Nicole may have been hopped up on so many narcotic painkillers to deal with the ongoing pain from the autoimmune disease lupus.

The thing is, there’s no source for the story that she had lupus, Access Hollywood just says there are “new claims,” and the doctor they contact for his opinion didn’t know or treat her, he’s just guessing. Plus the cocktail of drugs that Anna was on are not regularly prescribed for Lupus:

Startling new claims have emerged following the death of Anna Nicole Smith indicating that the model may have been suffering from lupus.

A medical examiner has yet to determine the cause of Smith’s death almost three weeks ago in Seminole, Florida. Prior to her passing she had allegedly used Topamax, Dilaudid and Methadone, as it was revealed in hearings regarding the final resting place of her remains.

These three drugs are not normally prescribed to treat lupus, a disease which affects the immune system. Pregnancy, however combined with lupus could present a severe amount of pain to a patient according to an expert contacted by Access Hollywood.

According to Dr. Bob Lahita a practicing physician, Chairman of Medicine at Jersey City Medical Center and Professor of Medicine at Mount Sinai Medical School who has authored several books on the disease, about 60% of lupus patients develop a condition called Fibro Myalgia. The condition causes chronic and extreme pain across the body in muscles, tendons and ligaments and can make it hard for a patient to sleep. Such occurrences leave open the possibility that painkillers Topamax and Dilaudid may have been used for comfort, Dr. Lahita speculates.

Dr. Lahita has been in contact with at least one other media outlet regarding his opinion, since claims that Smith had the disease began to emerge.

If she did have lupus, it would explain what prompted her to take all those drugs in the first place, but it doesn’t excuse it. Lupus is said to often flare up in mothers a few months after they give birth.

I have a small amount of sympathy for her if this is true, but plenty of people live with chronic pain and are careful about taking their medication responsibly. Anna’s ex bodyguard, who also claims to have had an affair with her, says that she suffered from seizures. I wasn’t aware that seizures were associated with lupus, but it turns out that it can cause neurological problems like seizures. Maybe Anna had lupus and didn’t know about it, maybe she kept it a secret, or this could just be an unsubstantiated rumor.

There are all sorts of new stories of Anna Nicole’s debauchery and sleeping around told by a former assistant in this week’s Enquirer. He also says that he was told if Anna fell unconscious not to call 911 and to take her to the hospital himself. I’ve been putting off reporting on it as I have been sick of Anna stories lately. If you want to hear about it, let me know in the comments and I’ll cover that story. Thanks.

All sorts of eBay entrepreneurs are trying to make a buck off the Britney scandal by shaving Barbies bald and slapping homemade labels on them.

One artist has made a custom six inch Britney doll, though, that’s particularly well done in polymer clay. Britney wears a white straightjacket, pink sweatpants, and her newly bald head. It comes with cute packaging and a padded room diorama. The artist says his work has been seen on Leno in the “things found on eBay” segment:

**Britney Shears**

Poor Britney destined for the straight jacket and padded room.

My artwork has been seen on Jay Leno Twice in his segment “Things We found on Ebay” here is a clip

Figure is Six inches tall sculpted in polymer clay, This is a ONE OF A KIND item. comes mint in packaging. Complete with Padded room diorama.

The auction ended this morning and the doll went for $182.49. Britney’s hair was also up for sale on Ebay for the ridiculous price of $1 million, but site operators removed the auction. The seller, salon owner Esther Tognazzi, set up a website Buy Britney’s Hair, but there were probably no offers as the site is now showing a default page from the webhost.

Britney is said to have booked a whole wing to herself at that Promises rehab where she’s staying, at a cost of hundreds of thousands. She is also speculated to be either suffering from postpartum depression or bipolar disorder, although it looks like drug paranoia is the most likely cause to me.

Thanks to DListed for this story.

Diddy is being investigated for a incident at an Oscar party in which he was said to have punched a guy in the jaw when he took offense at Diddy chatting up his woman. The guy claims he came back from the bathroom, caught Diddy flirting with his fiance, and then asked her to leave with him. Diddy then invited the woman back to his place, words were probably exchanged although the guy doesn’t admit it, and Diddy punched him in the face.

TMZ has learned Sean “P. Diddy” Combs is being investigated by the Los Angeles Police Department for allegedly attacking a man at a Hollywood Oscar party.

Gerard Rechnitzer was at a post-Oscar bash Sunday night with his fiancee at Teddy’s at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood. At around 2 AM Monday morning, the 27-year-old Rechnitzer was on his way to the parking lot when he made a pit stop in the bathroom. When he walked out, he noticed his fiancee was surrounded by six men, including Combs. We’re told the 5′7″, 140 lb. Rechnitzer watched as Combs chatted up his girl for about five minutes, and then asked his fiancee to leave with him.

At that point, Combs allegedly told the woman he was having a party and invited her to come. Rechnitzer persisted and asked his fiancee again to leave with him. Combs then allegedly socked Rechnitzer in the jaw.

The guy called 911 but by the time cops arrived Diddy was gone. He must have been grumpy since Sienna Miller has moved on to a more talented musician.

Diddy is an arrogant douche who thinks he can have anything he wants. He got rich sampling other’s songs and now he’s just full of himself. There are several recent stories about altercations Diddy started. He is said to have screamed at an uncharacteristically cool Naomi Campbell on Grammy night and to have argued with T.R. Knight when he demanded the Grey’s cast leave a table he wanted at a party.

Doesn’t he have two newborn twins at home? His girlfriend must be so pleased to hear all these stories about him.

Note that I’m annoyed at commentors bringing up race in posts about black celebrities. There are obnoxious celebrities across the board. It’s not necessary to bring up race and doesn’t make any point except to reveal a personal bias. This is a very small minority of commentors and most everyone else makes decent points. Blatant racism at any time will not be tolerated.

Here are a bunch of pictures from Diddy’s myspace in which he poses and generally tries to look cool.