While we are away, please check out our fellow gossip hounds for all the celebrity minutiae, speculation and objectification that we surely missed.

  - Agent Bedhead
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  - Best Week Ever
  - The Blemish
  - Celebguru
  - Celebrity Baby Blog
  - Celebrity Baby Scoop
  - Celeb News Wire
  - Celebrity Puke
  - Celebslam
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  - The Chic Mommy
  - City Rag
  - Derek Hail
  - D-Listed
  - ecorazzi
  - Egotastic
  - Faded Youth
  - Fafarazzi
  - Gabsmash
  - Gallery of the Absurd
  - Glitterati
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  - Haute Gossip
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  - I Don’t Like You
  - I’m Not Obsessed
  - In Case U Didn’t Know
  - Metadish
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  - popbytes
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  - Saving Face
  - Seriously? OMG! WTF?
  - The Shallow End
  - Socialite’s Life
  - White Trash Mom
  - Yeeeah

Header image from TzigTzag’s flickr.

Cisco Adler reveals how surprisingly well California medical grade chronic helps you cope with personal scandals. He says it’s not true that he and Mischa broke up over those pictures of him showing his gigantic balls that got out when the Paris Exposed stuff was released. It might have bothered him, you know, yesterday or whatever, but today he figures those pictures were taken in 2001 and he’s proud of what God gave him. Mischa wasn’t thrilled of course, but they’re still together according to their reps:

But that’s not to say that Barton, 21, was thrilled when the revealing picture emerged on the Web site ParisExposed.com – a situation that Adler, 28, refers to as “Ballgate” in a new interview.

“Mischa wasn’t too excited, to say the least,” Adler tells the New York Observer in Wednesday’s issue. “I think it was actually worse for her than for me in some ways. So yeah, I’m gonna try to keep my pants on from now on.”

In addition to the photo, ParisExposed.com displayed other items belonging to Paris Hilton that had been obtained when the contents of a storage unit she’d rented were auctioned off. (After Hilton, 25, sued the site’s owners, a judge ordered it to be temporarily shut down.)

“Paris’ s— got stolen, and somehow she had a picture of me naked in there,” Adler explains to the Observer. “That’s Paris Hilton to you.”

But Adler himself is unfazed. “I think it’s pretty rock ‘n’ roll. You know, if it was like yesterday I would’ve freaked out, but then I looked at the picture and I was like, ‘Oh, that’s from like 2001. Whatever.’ “

I have a newfound respect for the guy after reading his quotes. He kind of deserves to be a psuedo-celebrity known more for dating a TV star than making music, because he sounds moderately intelligent, albeit true to type. His quotes make him seem like a cool guy. He must have just found a new medical clinic willing to fill his prescriptions, because the one he was frequenting is getting investigated by the feds. If he says this shit would have bothered him yesterday, that’s probably why.

Wait - I just looked at those pictures again. That’s not Rock ‘n Roll, that’s asanine.

The gossip rags have moved on from calling wan Katie Holmes a brainwashed Stepford wife to championing the changes in her after she made an appearance at Paris fashion week without Tom. I guess a new face makes all the difference.

In Touch says she’s calling the shots now, and claims she’s trying to get her career back and is taking advice from Victoria Beckham to make sure her man is under control:

Until recently, Katie has rarely been seen unless she is attached to Tom’s hip at his kid’s soccer games, on the red carpet and at charity events. After she met Tom, Katie shut out most of her old friends in order to give Tom constant attention. However, her new, close friendship with Victoria Beckham is changing everything.

The duo travelled to Paris on January 23 to attend Couture Week. Strong, confident Victoria, 32, “is helping Katie assert her power and independence,” and insider says, and - as the mother of three boys… giving her tips on how to be a working mom…

Lately, Katie seems stifled around Tom. At a party for musician Prince at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel on January 15, “Tom practically had to drag her around,” an onlooker tells In Touch. And when Tom had a conversation with 24 star Keifer Sutherland, “Katie just stood there, looking totally bored,” the witness says.

[From In Touch print edition, January 12, 2007]

The article goes on to say that Katie is focusing on her career now and that she is in talks to star in what is sure to be a crappy movie with Queen Latifah called Mad Money. They say Tom wants more kids but that Katie probably won’t be popping out another one soon.

In Touch is most likely checking out the pictures and making this story up, but it seems fundamentally true. Katie is branching out, and if we can be forgiven for engaging in this same overanalysis of paparazzi photos, she looks like she’s having a good time, but also that she’s acting for the cameras and no longer thinks Tom is a God like everyone else in his cult religion.

If you check out the pictures of her out with him in Miami on Superbowl weekend she has this faraway look in her eye. It’s possible that she’s planning her next move, and that she really has broken out of that Stepford mold. Those must be the thetans talking though, and some intense auditing should cure her.

Here are Katie and Tom leaving their hotel in Miami on 2/3.

Story via Sammie’s Effluvia. Pictures from KatieHolmes.com.

This is a filler post for when I’m on vacation, but there’s no filler in these clips, just pure bad singing.

In case you like bad singing without any filler, these “Song Quiz” clips of people who didn’t make it to the judges round in from Germany’s version of Idol are rather entertaining. You really can’t tell what they’re singing until it’s pointed out to you, and there’s no talking or commentary to sit through, just pure cringe-worthy tunes from people who waited hours for the privilege to sing them to the camera.

SuperBowls just ain’t what they used to be … who watches the game or even remembers who plays … its all about what controversy will well up from the deeply shallow recesses of theAmerican zeitgeist. Television used to be the means to convey the spectacle – now it’s the spectacle itself. Paging Dr. McLuhan to the front desk.

Chesty exploitation (that’s gotta be a Drag Queen somewhere) went equal opportunity this year … when burly, hairy chested mechanics tried to snatch the controversy crown from out of the cleavage of the famous Jackson ‘wardrobe malfunction.’ Sounds very Tom of Finland … but was in fact very Snickers.

Challenging the May-December, Ebony and Ivory thrills of Ms. Jackson and J-Tim — these two fearless mechanics meet mid-kiss on the chocolate highway. Homo-possible panic ensues and they search desperately for a way to re-assert their manhood. The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation objected to just that search as E! Online reports:

“Mars needs to apologize for the deplorable actions of its Snickers brand,” [said] GLAAD president Neil Giuliano… Another GLAAD spokesperson said Tuesday that the commercial’s “kind of prejudice was inexcusable.”

It seems to me all those boys did was get shirtless and do a little impromptu chestwaxing … hit the gym and they are ready for a Circuit party come Summer. Is that Defamation … or the ultimate affirmation.

Mars/Snickers has bowed to the awesome pressure of the Velvet Glove annd pulled the ads from all circulation ever … except of course everywhere on line forever. Like here. HAAPY (but not GLAAD) Viewing.

Celebrities just seem to love Fashion Week. Every show is a chance for them to reiterate the fact that they’re not just in movies/TV/music - they also care about the new collections…and fashion is serious stuff, isn’t it? Cue the instant artsy cred craved by a generation of stars who are often not famous for anything of much importance.

Considering how much free clothing is sent to it girls of the moment by designers who want to get their latest pieces out there and captioned in Us and In Touch magazines, it makes sense that the smiling faces of MTV personalities, big screen actresses and pop singers alike would turn up inside the tents at Bryant Park in New York this week.

Using stars as a vehicle for fashion promo is a tactic that works remarkably well. With the emergence of celebrity magazines as commonplace reading material, more and more “regular people” know the names of more and more designers. It’s a whole new kind of fashion consciousness that never really existed before. Personally, I think it’s kind of cool.

Pictured above:

Left: The Hills star Lauren Conrad and Vanessa Minillo (looking amazing in red lipstick and a black sheath) at the Monique L’Huillier show
Center: Eve at the Charlotte Ronson show
Right: Julianne Moore at the Lacoste show

Scheduled to walk the runway for long time friends, design duo Richie Rich and Traver Rains’ label Heatherette, Paris pulled a last minute no show due to a case of alleged “food poisoning.”

But Radar has the true if unsurprising facts about the predictable need for quotation marks around any public explanation of any Hilton behaviour. They should just graft four wiggly fingers to the top of her pointy skull and save the PR flacks getting carpal tunnel.

A source who was with her Monday night put it another way:
“She was doing tumbler shots of tequila till 3:30 a.m. at Butter, puked, and went home really sick. She must have been totally incapacitated the next day.”

It’s not food poisoning if there are no solids involved. Eating the worm does not count. Not even if you release it on videotape weeks later full of commentary where you racially abuse said worm before calling it the Isaiah Washington flavoured F Word.

A clever club kid label with glitter all over its downtown aesthetic Heatherette has always been a very good match for La Hilton …truly able to recoup all of her shallow trash flavoured aura in a way that made full on fashion sense. It’s a relationship she should value if she was actually secretly satirical and po-po-mo about her shoddy iconicity. As opposed to just straight up shoddily behaved. Britney was rumored to have done a runner as well … but after showing up and not having the nerve to walk the tranny, bare butt, Wizard of Oz themed show.

This NY Fashion Weeks show goddess Kimora Lee Zilla closed out the show with a full on gleeful, professional “I was Karl Lagerfeld muse at 13 and I will Beat a Bitch Down” strut. Now those are some quotation marks to live up to.

Photos via Bleacher Bums

Angelina Jolie’s sense of style has changed over the years, but it seems she has always favored black and white solids. Everyone was talking about how she snogged her androgynous stepbrother at the 2000 Oscars when she won for best supporting actress in Girl, Interrupted. She had a gothic look with long black straight hair, kohl-rimmed eyes and a Versace dress.

The next year she wore a simple white Dolce and Gabbana pantsuit, muted makeup and pulled back hair for a much different business-like sporty style. She looks much better at the 2001 Oscars because she’s smiling a lot, getting along with her dad, and generally looking happy and upbeat.

At the 2004 Oscars, Angelina wore a memorable white satin Marc Bouwer gown with a plunging neckline that didn’t leave much to the imagination. Her hair was swept up at the top bt down, and gorgeous jewelry complimented the outfit. She was more elegant at the 2004 ceremony and worked it on the red carpet, although there’s at least one picture of her cutting loose and laughing.

And here’s a cute fuzzy clip of Angelina at the 1986 Oscars with her dad, Jon Voight. Voight was nominated for best actor for his role in Runaway Train, but the award went to William Hurt for Kiss of the Spider Woman. Voight has been nominated for an Academy Award four times, and had previous won a best actor Oscar for 1978’s Coming Home.

Pictures from Absolutment Jolie.

The slender, strong jawed (her jaw has its own blog) young actress has decided to take a break from her flourishing careerbecause the back to backfilm load hasn’t left her much me-time (via Ananova.com).

Personally I date this very healthy lifestyle insight to her Interview on ’The Daily Show’ with everyone’s favorite mensch Jon Stewart.

Stewart gave her some fatherly advice along the lines of ”Spend more time alone on the internet.” and ”I would suggest you smoke pot and watch Gilligans Island … start wasting more time.” Well who can avoid the siren song philosophising of America’s new Thoreau … not Miss Knightley or her lovely jaw.

As additional motivation while the jaw may be lovely some say the other bits are rubbish

She said: “I do think I must have a nice face because I’m completely aware my face gets me work.

“But the problem is that if you happen to be someone who people think of as pretty, you also get so many people whose business it is to comment on your looks.

“I’ve been to photo shoots where the photographer has told me he’d kept my legs out of shot so I don’t need to worry about them - that of course makes you worry.

“Then I’ve had make-up artists who’ve told me they need to shade the top of my nose so it won’t look so broken. I also got rejected for a job once because someone said I had a funny mouth.

What in the World must she have been acting like to get away with a very reasonable ingenue imitation these last four or five years. Clearly the Oscar for best performance by a Quasimodo in a gown and corset goes to Miss Knightley.

With comments like that no wonder she goes out dressed only in gauze and bandages.

Here’s hoping she has a nice little break with Gilligan, The Skipper too, Ginger, Mary-Ann, the millionaire and his wife … and maybe a little romance with the Professor.

Images via Yahoo Movies