Holy Moly has a mole in Hollywood ( a Holly Holy Moly mole) who delivered this gem about a well known snaggle-toothed blonde with a propensity for telling porky pies.

We’ll open with a damning Dunst quote before we proceed to the Oscar night drama.

“I’ve never come across cocaine on a film set… I’m very naive about that. I don’t smoke and I’ve only tried pot once in my life. I do everything in moderation. I drink, but I don’t go out and get plastered. I deal with my problems, so I don’t have vices over which I have no control.”

Pictures being worth a thousand words we’ll have to assume she meant I don’t smoke except when I’m driving … and of course follks never drive in LA. Except all the time … having been caught out once … the rest of the Holly Holy Moly mole tale gains credence. Picture this:

it’s the inevitable coke-by-the-bucketful post-Oscars party, when out of the powder room stumbles Kirsten Dunst with more dust flying around her head than a bug in a Dyson, her hair a tangled mess plastered across her drug sweat-oozing forehead. “What were you doing in there?” asks the party’s host. The best Dunst, a gerbil with cocktail umbrellas for tits, can manage? “Erm…”

I perhaps I shouldnt have asked you to picture the whole thing as our intrepid molesters got a little graphic with alcoholic rodent parasols towards the end, but hey, we are playing hardball here. Or maybe a whole eight ball.

It would at least explain that unwatchable Marie Antoinette Film … and her break up from Brokeback Moutnain Boy

All of which gives credence to the real reason she and Jake Gyllenhaal split: it was because of her drug hoofing and not the other way round, as her publicist would like you to think.

And whenever a publicist is pushing some angle on a story — its as beliveable as Tony Snow at the Whitehouse talking about a Sunni day in Shia Town … although here I guess all the snow is at Dunst’s house.

pic via Holy Moly

Here’s Antonella Barba singing Celine Dion’s “Because you love me” on American Idol, where she got enough votes to remain for another week. Do you think she deserved it, or did it have more to do with these pictures?

- Antonella Barba is not going to get the boot from American Idol this week. She’s not a great singer but it’s not a surprise. [DListed]
- Hot Rosario Dawson photoshoot with The Rock [Bastardly]
- Chris Rock’s marriage is fine. [Socialite’s Life]
- Doofy Jessica Simpson on the Blonde Ambition set [IDLYITW
- Paris Hilton’s new look explained [Best Week Ever]
- Kirsten Dunst is going to take six months off to go to art school [CelebSlam]
- Victoria Silvstedt in lingerie [The Grumpiest]
- Rosie made Elizabeth Hasselbeck cry again after calling her “young” on The View, and rumor has it that Hasselbeck is headed out. [Mollygood]
- Heather Mills cancelled her scheduled studio time to practice for Dancing with the Stars, which may mean she’s not going to go through with it [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
- Katherine Hegl is going to stay on Grey’s Anatomy according to the producers, but she does admit to dropping out of contract negotiations and says they shouldn’t have divulged details to the press [ICYDK]
- Beyonce wearing a gold camouflage zip-up dress [Evil Beet]
- Kate Moss has assistants separate her cocaine into “morning” “noon,” and “night” baggies, and Naomi Campbell says she needs to clean up her act. [Agent Bedhead]
- Kate Moss and Pete Doherty were kicked out of the NME magazine awards for getting frisky with each other. [yeeeah]
- Pictures from the Zodiac premiere including Mark Ruffalo and Robert Downey Jr. [Glitterati]
- Lindsay Lohan has been drinking again and almost ploughed into a mother and her daughter with her car [CelebWarship]
- Nicole Richie’s engagement ring looks cheap. Maybe Joel Madden saw Blood Diamonds [Derek Hail]
- Anna Nicole Smith’s funeral is going to be today [CelebNewsWire]
- The night before Bobby Brown was arrested, he tried to get up on stage and sing at a club and he almost passed out [Rhymes with Snitch]
- A radio station paid Bobby Brown’s nearly 20k bail and instead of working there all week to repay the debt it looks like he’s stiffing them [The Blemish]
- Gwyneth Paltrow in Spanish Vogue. Why couldn’t she have done her hair like that for the Oscars? [popbytes]
- Jennifer Love Hewitt’s bra commercial [Egotastic]
- Madonna dissed Victoria Beckham [Gabsmash]
- Christina Aguilera is a little less skinny. Could she be pregnant? [The Skinny Website]

Maybe K-Fed’s visit to Britney in rehab last weekend was a conjugal one. The crazed car-attacking former pop star was seen wearing a ring on her wedding finger when she left that spa rehab for a trip to an AA meeting.

Sporting a midriff top, a ring on her left ring finger, and flower scrawlings on her hand, Britney Spears stepped out for an AA meeting Wednesday night.

Spears was fresh-faced and in good spirits as she left the Promises Treatment Center in Malibu for her first supervised outing.

Though Spears, 25, kept her wedding ring finger bare while dating ex-boyfriend Isaac Cohen, she’s been wearing a band on her left hand over the last week or so.

While the jewelry does not appear to be the wedding band she wore when married to Kevin Federline, 28, the estranged exes seem to be working towards a reconciliation.

Britney is just as careless with her jewelry as with her wardrobe, as evidenced by that star of David she wore while dating Isaac Cohen, and I wouldn’t make anything of this. She probably doesn’t have any more stunts to pull to get public attention and is resorting to wearing a ring on that finger for a little publicity. It’s a better plan than the one Paris helped her cook up last fall.

News of the World claims that K-Fed wants Britney back, and US Weekly now has the same story. I would bet that News of the World made that shit up after they heard the news that he visited her in rehab and US Weekly is just repeating it, but I could be wrong. It wouldn’t be out of the ordinary considering how crazy their lives are.

Britney was also allowed out of rehab briefly to visit her cousin Alli’s apartment last night. She stayed for less than a half an hour, left with a bag full of clothing and was back at rehab by 9:00 pm.

I really hope she doesn’t get back with K-Fed as he’s only acting like a devoted father so he can cash in while he has a chance. How much do you see him with the kids from his first marriage?

Here are pictures of Britney’s “lost weekend” before she entered rehab. Thanks to IDLYITW and CelebWarship for these pictures.

Ubiquitous news wire service The Associated Press distributed an internal memo on February 13th encouraging journalists not to cover ubiquitous celebrity do-nothing Paris Hilton for a week.

“Next week,” entertainment editor Jesse Washington wrote in an e-mail memo obtained by The Transom, “the print team is planning an unconventional experiment: We are NOT going to cover Paris Hilton.

“Barring any major, major news, we are not going to put a single word about Paris on the wire,” the memo continued. “If something does come up, big or small, we encourage discussions on whether we should write about it.”

[via Gawker]

They said the decision was hard and took a lot of discussion. They were able to hold out covering Paris for a little over a week, and forced themselves not to cover Brandon Davis’ drunken outburst at her birthday dinner. After Paris got arrested for driving with a suspended license, though, they gave up and ran the story, savoring every word.

Then Hilton was arrested on Feb. 27 for driving with a suspended license — an offense that could conceivably lead to jail time because she may have violated conditions of a previous sentence. By that time, our blackout was over anyway, so reporting the development was an easy call. (On the flip side, we never got to see what repercussions there would have been if we hadn’t.)

[Lloyd] Grove [formerly of the NY Daily News] thinks the so-called “celebutante” achieved her unique brand of fame because she boasts an irresistible set of traits: wealth, a big name, beauty with a “downmarket” appeal, and a tendency to seem … oversexed. “This is what mainstream society celebrates,” he says. “She is, in the worst sense, the best expression of the maxim that no bad deed goes unrewarded in our pop culture.”

One measure of Hilton’s fame: She was No. 5 last year on the Yahoo Buzz Index, a list of overall top searches on the Web site (her ever-so-brief buddy Spears is a perennial No. 1).

Another is that US Weekly has at least a mention or a photo in just about every issue. “People now come to expect to see pictures of her,” says Caroline Schaefer, deputy editor of the celebrity magazine. “They’re intrigued by her unshakable self-esteem. People are fascinated by that.”

Jeff Jarvis, who teaches journalism at the City University of New York, decries the “one-size-fits-all disease” afflicting media outlets, who feel that “everybody’s covering it, so we must, too.” Even The New York Times, he noted, had substantial coverage of a hearing concerning where Anna Nicole Smith — perhaps the one person who rivaled Hilton in terms of fame for fame’s sake — would be buried.

“That disease leads to the Paris Hilton virus spreading through the news industry,” says Jarvis, who puts out the BuzzMachine blog.

So what have we learned from the ban? “It’s hard to tell what this really changes, since we didn’t have to make any hard decisions,” says Jesse Washington, AP’s entertainment editor. “So we’ll continue to use our news judgment on each item, individually.”

Which means that for the immediate future, if not always, we’ll still have Paris.

Lloyd Grove of the NY Daily News’ Lowdown column, which was cancelled in October, said he deliberately didn’t mention Hilton for two years because he wanted to get publicity. I know I don’t always cover stories about the milktoast heiress, but it’s hard not to mention her as Jeff Jarvis discussed because she’s freaking everywhere. There’s also something fascinating how she keeps on going no matter what happens. She’s was overheard bragging about how much money her sex tape made, and she was out working right after all her private medical records and drug-use videos came out on Paris Exposed. Apart from refusing to speak to photographers for one day she showed no outward reaction to the Paris Exposed scandal.

I know all about that phenomenon that Jeff Jarvis mentioned about how you have to cover the stories that are popular no matter how much they bug you. I’ll be reporting on Anna Nicole’s pink tasseled funeral shortly.

Here she is outside of a medical building on 2/28. What’s going on with her stomach in that last picture? Do you think she’s pregnant with Stavros’ baby? We’ll never stop hearing about her then. She really has perfected that Barbie look. I mean I dislike her outfit but she accessories it perfectly.

Anna Nicole Smith’s funeral went on as planned today in the Bahamas despite her mother’s last-minute legal ploy to try to put a stop to it and have her daughter buried in Texas. Not only did Anna Nicole Smith’s mother continue her fight to bury her daughter somewhere else on the day of her funeral, but the father of Anna’s deceased son Daniel had his lawyer send a request to the Chief Magistrate of the Bahamas asking to have Daniel’s body exhumed and moved to Texas. It’s unclear whether the request was related to Anna’s mother’s fight for the body.

Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead, who are legally disputing custody of Anna’s child but seem to have reconciled after she died, arrived separately and were seen embracing inside. Anna’s mother was one of the last people to make it to the ceremony, and was met by boos from the crowd gathered outside.

About 100 people attended the funeral while curious onlookers, photographers and news crew clamored for a glimpse of Anna’s send off. It wasn’t cheap for press to get inside the gated community where the church was located. Camera crews were required to submit requests to cover the event and to pay a fee of $2,000 per camera and $5,000 per live feed.

Howard K. Stern says that the funeral was set up according to Anna’s wishes and that “she did have a lot of specific things that she wanted” Anna wore a pink beaded dress she had custom made specifically for her funeral in a prescient or wishful moment, and was donned with a tiara. Pink flowers decorated the church. Her casket was draped with a pink velvet fabric dripping with pink ribbons and feathers. Bobby Trendy wanted to hot glue them on, but according to her wishes he was denied.

Anna’s casket made it to the graveyard at about 1:30 PM EST. She was buried next to her son and with an urn containing some of the ashes of her late second husband J. Howard Marshall, the billionaire octagenarian whose money she was still fighting for when she died.

Howard K. Stern’s eulogy focused on Anna’s “truth,” and how he had a real relationship with her and will miss her. He said she was a smart woman who knew what it took to be famous.

Country singer Joe Nichols sang two songs requested by Howard K. Stern for the funeral, “I’ll Wait for You” and her favorite country song, Dolly Parton’s “Wings of a Dove.”

Anna’s infant daughter Dannielynn was not at the service.

The coroner who examined Anna says that he will be able to come up with a final determination of death within nine or ten days. Another medical examiner, the one Anna hired to examine Daniel independently, says that he doesn’t believe methadone was involved in her death. If he didn’t do the autopsy, it sounds like speculation to me.

Pictures from Entertainment Tonight.

Update: The word “tacky” in the title has been removed. The rest of the article was pretty neutral.

Elizabeth Hurley and her Indian fiance Arun Nayer have tied the knot at a castle in England, but the real celebration is yet to begin. The couple leaves for India on Sunday to celebrate their wedding Indian style, complete with horse rides and star studded Bollywood dance numbers. The wedding celebrations will last six days, and culminate in the mother of all weddings on Friday, March 9th.

Now here’s the juice we’ve learned so far.

The couple prefers to receive gifts of livestock instead of traditional wedding gifts
In England, guests the likes of Elton John and the Beckhams, had to choose between giving a pure-bred pig or a flock of sheep to the couple as a wedding gift. This is because after they wed, the Nayars plan to settle down on the 400-acre farm in Gloucestershire that Hurley bought in 2003. The Nayars enjoy country life, says husband Arun Nayar, “I’ll take Damian out on the tractor while Elizabeth cooks….like the Waltons.” Hurley adds that her country home is the only place she would like to be, and can’t wait to get “organic status” so they can become full-fledged farmers. We’re going to have a herd of cows and proper sheep and proper chickens, and we’re going to have Gloucestershire Old Spot pigs.”

Yeah, I can just see it now. Arun riding around on a tractor with little Damian, both wearing matching overalls, and Liz in the kitchen, wearing an apron and cooking chicken curry from organic chickens. Celebs have such boring dreams.

There’s a dress code for the guests attending the wedding in India.
Liz has sent each of her wedding guests an “orientation packet” with their invitations to help them learn the rules of engagement, so to speak, of what to wear and what to expect during the week long celebration in India. Guests are advised to bring their own mosquito repellant and travel irons, but to leave most of their party clothes at home. That’s because Liz wants all the ladies to wear hot pink saris and all the men to wear turbans and long orange tunics (kurtas) during most of the events. The attire during the rest of the celebrations should range from “glamorous casual” to “glamorous and fabulous”. Liz doesn’t want her guests to have to worry too much about dressing for the events in India, and has taken it upon herself to shop for them and stock a private wedding boutique inside the Hilton Towers Hotel in Mumbai:

They have written to friends to say they are opening their own private wedding “shop” at the Hilton Towers Hotel in Mumbai, which will be stocked with saris, turbans, kurtas and bindis, traditional markings worn on the forehead by women.

Guests will be able to buy appropriate attire for the six-day celebrations taking place in Mumbai and the desert in Rajasthan. The couple’s letter says: “Please don’t panic … all Indian clothes can be bought when you arrive in India, where they will be much nicer.”

Hurley’s friends say she has been busy looking for saris to buy to stock the shop, where tailors will be on hand to alter garments. The bride herself will reportedly be wearing a £4,000 pink sari.

Can someone say, bridezilla?

The Dress
Liz’s pink wedding sari, which is about $7,800, is going to be designed by one of India’s most renowned wedding designers, Tarun Tahiliani. Although we don’t have a photo of the dress yet, here is an example of one of Tarun’s bridal dresses.

To add to your knowledge of useless trivia, Tarun Tahiliani is the same dude who designed Jemima Khan’s wedding dress when she married Pakistani cricketer Imran Khan. Jemima is the the ex-fiance of Liz’s ex, Hugh Grant, and a sworn enemy of Liz. Neither Hugh nor Jemima will attend Liz’s wedding in India. Huge Grant was also a no-show at the England ceremony according to the Sunday Mirror.

I can’t wait to see the photos from this gig. Really. Just to see how this all looks. Ladies in pink saris (Posh will wear one too!), guys in orange kurtas, Liz’s Indian wedding is playing out like no other Bollywood production I’ve ever seen. It is even being reported that she plans to arrive to her wedding ceremony sitting on top of an elephant, like an ancient Indian princess. If her intention was to top the TomKat wedding, she seems to be off to great start.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner look like everything is fine in their marriage as they reunite in Vancouver and take their daughter Violet, 15 months, out for a walk. Affleck looks happy and doesn’t seem to be bothered by the paparazzi taking pictures of him in the wake of his mini-scandal involving the crappy tell all book (link not for under 18) by the celebrity madam who claims he was a client nearly ten years ago. The news hit last Wednesday and seems to have died down over the weekend.

Garner is currently filming the movie Juno in Vancouver, about an teen’s unplanned pregnancy. It stars Ellen Page.

Pictures thanks to FlyNetOnline.

Simon Cowell is pissed that Jennifer Hudson called American Idol a “stepping stone” to her fabulous career. He thinks she’s downplaying the role of his show in making her famous, and that without Idol she’d be nothing. He also thinks Taylor Hicks sucks and says he doesn’t have what it takes to sell records despite winning last season.

Cowell did all this trash-talking at a discussion panel for the Museum of Radio and Television:

“Jennifer Hudson said American Idol was a ’stepping stone’ for her. Stepping stone? It was her big opportunity to become noticed and she got noticed and she got Dreamgirls,” Cowell said, noting that other past contestants “deliberately turn against the show that made them successful. The reason (people) come on the show is because all the doors had been slammed in their face.”

As for Taylor Hicks, who won season 5’s competition, “They (Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson) loved him. I couldn’t stand him. I didn’t get it,” Cowell snapped, adding that “at the end of the day you have to find a bona fide recording artist. Just because you win the show doesn’t mean you will sell a lot of records. Chris (Daughtry) is the one who sold the albums, not Taylor.”

This isn’t surprising coming from Cowell as he always talks smack. Hudson should have called American Idol her big break, but maybe she mischaracterized it or wants to downplay it as she moves on to other things.

It doesn’t seem like it matters how far finalists get in the competition as long as they’re given other opportunities. People has a nice gallery of Idol runners up on their website. Diana Degarmo, who was runner-up in Season Three to Fantasia Barrino, is performing on Broadway but until I read about it I had completely forgotten her. I found her rather annoying on Idol and although she could belt out the tunes and did a wide range of numbers I was surprised she made it so far.

Hudson finished Season Three in seventh place, and it was a shocker when she was voted off so early. Elton John called the voting “incredibly racist” after he noticed Hudson’s talent and she was voted off. It looks like it really didn’t matter and she was spared a lot of stress in the finals as she moved on to better things. Since she was voted off the show realitively early, maybe that’s why she’s calling it a stepping stone instead of a milestone.

Here are pictures of Jennifer Hudson when she was on American Idol from AmericanIdolJenniferHudson.com.

The story is that Angelina was working on adopting a Vietnamese baby since she paid a surprise visit to the country in November of last year. Everyone was a bit surprised to hear that she’s filed for adoption of a infant boy there using single status, and is not listed Brad as a co-parent. While she lives with Brad they are unmarried. Brad has also gone through the legal steps to adopt Angelina’s two adopted children, Zahara, 2, and Maddox, 5.

The NY Post stirs the pot a little by saying that Angelina is being favored by the Vietnamese government, because surely she wouldn’t be granted an adoption when filing as a single mother but cohabitating with the father of a biological child:

She filed for adoption as a single parent even though she lives with boyfriend Brad Pitt, who is the adoptive father of Jolie’s Cambodian son, Maddox, and Ethiopian daughter, Zahara, as well as the biological father of their daughter, Shiloh. (Shiloh and Brad are pictured above on the New Orleans set of the film “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.”) The State Department says it abides by Vietnamese rules when it comes to adoptions there. But, “This is a clear contradiction of Vietnamese law, and such situations would not be allowed for other couples,” said Tatiana Beams, an international adoption advocate. “Most co-habitating couples who try to adopt as a single parent are either turned away from agencies or face difficulties.”

A short while ago Angelina made a little sideways dig at Madonna in a statement about her controversial adoption from Malawai. She told a French magazine that she “would never take a child away from a place where adoption is illegal,” but tried to make nice by saying she has “been horrified by the attacks [Madonna’s] been subjected to [for adopting Davie].”

Page Six pointed out at the time that the agency Angelina used to adopt Maddox from Cambodia was convicted of fraud with the result that adoptions from Cambodia became much more difficult. They said she shouldn’t talk smack since her adoption record is not without its bumps, either.

It seems like she is using her celebrity status to expedite her latest adoption, something that the NY Post is quick to point out. The countries and adoption agencies are all too willing to bend the rules for some cash and publicity, though, and special favors seem inevitable for celebrities.

Here are pictures of Brad and Angelina in Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam on 11/23/06. Pictures from SimplyBrad.com.

Hot Penelope Cruz was presented with an edible faux Oscar at the Sanremo Festival of Italian Song in Sanremo, Italy this Friday. She may have lost the best actress award to Helen Mirren, but she can still bite into a replica.

She looks gorgeous in a tight black scoop neck gown with glittering zig-zag detail. I like that dress much better than the one she wore to the Oscars although it doesn’t look puffy or complicated enough for the biggest Hollywood award ceremony.

The Sanremo festival is a five day Italian music festival that also features acts from outside the country. This year British singer Joss Stone, and American recording artists Norah Jones and John Legend will perform. Cruz was interviewed live on stage to attract television viewership and promote the festival.

Things are heating up in Penelope’s new relationship with Orlando Bloom. The two were seen making out at Prince’s post Oscar party, although an earlier story just had them “flirting outrageously” that night. I hope we see them make the rounds together soon.

Pictures from HotCelebs.