Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis is sitting in jail for 35 days on contempt of court charges. His lawyer tried to get the judge to reduce the time to just 30 days, because anything over that could get him another year in federal prison on the tax evasion case he’s facing. The judge said no and poor Joe was reduced to tears. He was also said to have suffered a full blown anxiety attack in jail when he was unable to take his Xanax one day when he missed the meds cart while meeting with his lawyer.

Now Joe’s legal troubles are piling up and another woman has come forth with pretty credible claims that the rapist grabbed her repeatedly after she told him to stop. Joe is being charged with misdemeanor sexual battery in that instance.

Janet Charlton reports that Joe is desperately trying to reach his fair-weather Hollywood friends, who were more than willing to party with him in his heyday, but that no one will accept his calls from jail:

Joe Francis is FREAKING OUT! He’s sitting in jail, serving time for tax evasion, contempt of court, molesting minors, bribery etc. - facing a hundred years in prison, and NO ONE is returning his calls! The Girls Gone Wild mogul has been reaching out to his celebrity friends - he wants them to write letters defending his character to the judge. These are the same celebrities who didn’t hesitate to accept Joe’s hospitality when he was on top of the world. They flew in his Gulfstream jet and enjoyed his Caligula-like parties in LA, Miami, Mexico, etc. Paris and Nicky Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Tara Reed, Kimberly Stewart, Jessica Alba, Mario Lopez, and MANY more, wallowed in his celebrity ass-kissing. Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn were among the droves who enjoyed his generosity and hospitality at his Cabo beachfront mansion. Now they won’t give him the time of day. Joe has been calling collect from jail all over Hollywood, begging people he thought were his friends to accept his call or call him back. No response.

Charlton goes on to say that Francis told one friend he just might write a tell-all book. Now, if it’s about Paris and Lindsay no one is going to pay attention for more than a few days. We’re getting immune to this shit because we’ve seen these sluts naked, doing drugs and getting it on. I hate to mention this, because it’s gross of me to even consider it, but I think the only thing that would really be shocking is if bestiality were involved. Even then the news cycle would be about a week and then the gossip would move on.

Prince purposely embarassed Paris Hilton in front of a club full of people at one of his concerts. The Little Purple Wonder called her onstage and asked her to sing, and the poor princess stormed off in a huff.

Way to go Prince! This story has made my year! I would have given my left arm to see Paris put in her place like that.

US Weekly reports:

A source tells Us Weekly that Hilton, 26, was in the audience at the Purple One’s April 20 Club 3121 gig at the Rio All-Suite Hotel & Casino in las Vegas when he invited the “Stars Are Blind” singer to join him.

As a “delighted” Hilton obliged, Prince, 48, handed her the mic and told the audience, “Let’s see if she can really sing,” says the witness.

Is it wrong that I thought of Nelson Muntz from The Simpsons going “HA HA” when I read that Paris stormed off?

I absolutely love that Prince called her onstage to prove her “talent”. He only acted to confirm what millions of us already know — the bitch can’t sing! She couldn’t even be bothered to promote her damn records when they came out, that is how bothered she was about her “singing” career. She lipsynched for all of her promo performances, so it would have been more of a shock to everyone had she actually gone and sang a song in tune with Prince onstage.

Prince should know about musicians (being such an accomplished one himself) so I am happy he has shown Paris for the plastic fraud that she is. He has been picked on by Justin Timberlake lately, but Justin shouldn’t hate on him. He may be short, weird and strangely asexual, but he wrote and performed for Purple Rain, one of the highest selling movie soundtracks of all time. That is a feat that the arrogant Mr. Timberlake has yet to accomplish.

An Indian court has issued a warrant for Richard Gere’s arrest for kissing Shilpa Shetty at a public event this month.

For those of you who need a refresher on who Shilpa Shetty is, she is a Bollywood actress that was the center of the whole Big Brother racial bullying drama in January. After the incident, she went from unknown to a household name in the UK, and she’s been keeping a low profile for a bit. I’m sure she won’t be happy to find herself embroiled in another controversy, but hey, at least it is with someone much more famous and better looking than Jade Goody.

Here’s the scoop from E! Online:

An Indian court has issued a warrant for Gere’s arrest in response to a complaint that the actor committed an “obscene act” by daring to smooch Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty at a public event earlier this month.

The problematic PDA went down at an HIV/AIDS awareness summit in New Delhi, where Gere swooped Shetty into his arms, dipped her, and planted kisses on her cheeks.

Devout Hindu groups were outraged by the act, which they saw as an insult to Indian culture and an affront to Shetty’s modesty. Posters of both Gere and Shetty were burned in effigy in several major cities.

At least three citizens took it one step further by filing legal complaints against the pair. After viewing video footage of the incident, Judge Dinesh Gupta agreed that the “highly sexually erotic” behavior exhibited by the twosome “transgressed all limits of vulgarity.”

Oh for goodness sake! I understand India has different customs from the rest of the world, and as such outsiders should respect them when they visit the country, but Richard Gere is not Akon — he didn’t dry hump Shilpa Shetty on stage! Richard Gere made a fairly simple mistake — even Shetty has defended his actions by saying he was only trying to reenact a scene from his film Shall We Dance, as he wanted to connect with the crowd and did not speak Hindi.

Header picture from The Daily Mail.

Update by Celebitchy: Here’s the video of the incident, thanks to Seriously? OMG! WTF:

The first thing I thought when I saw this movie poster was “porno” and then I noticed that J.Lo and Marc Anthony are wearing the same shade of pink lipstick. The submitter on ONTD where we found this notes that it’s an abuse of Photoshop. I just think it’s piss poor design and it kind of makes a laughingstock of a movie that reportedly doesn’t need any help in that department.

El Cantante is slated for release on August 1, but people are worrying about the Spanish title, which some say is confusing since the film is all in English.

Here’s the trailer. It kind of gives away the whole plot, and while it starts out strong I kind of smell flop.

- Britney tells the paparazzi her every move [PopSugar]
- Britney is pissed that she has to wear underwear [Derek Hail]
- David Beckham looks really creepy as a bleached blonde [Mollygood]
- Don’t grab Justin Timberlake [CelebNewsWire]
- But you can stroke his wax version [Agent Bedhead]
- Pregnant Bridget Moynihan and Julia Roberts - not together unfortunately [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie have great hair, but what’s wrong with their faces? [DListed]
- Star Wars hates cell phones [Best Week Ever]
- Nelly Furtado and Fergie girl fight [popbytes]
- Why did Sean Penn visit Eve in jail? [Socialite's Life]
- Rosie wanted to take over “The View” and kick out Barbara Walters [Evil Beet]
- Lindsay Lohan is gay this week [CelebWarship]
- Drunk guy rides his horse into a bank, is discovered next morning [The Grumpiest]
- Mischa Barton is on fashion crack [Bastardly]
- The Namesake is a decent film [Pajiba]
- Dita Von Teese naked with guns [CelebWorm]
- Snoop Dogg banned from Australia [The Shallow End]
- K-Fed jumping around in tube socks for a new commercial [Celebslam]
- Mock video of Sheryl Crow’s toilet paper wishes [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
- Melissa Gilbert has to distract from her face with extreme cleavage [CityRag]
- Pamela Anderson wears her famous red swimsuit for a new TV commercial [ICYDK]
- Lindsay Lohan falling down drunk [Drunken Stepfather]
- Alec Baldwin says that the people in the tabloid media are abused and living with shameful secrets. It could be a parody though, I’m always fooled by those clever Gawker people [Gawker]
- How did Drew Barrymore get voted most beautiful? Isn’t she mousy? [The Blemish]

Sandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James was shocked Sunday morning to find a woman lying in the driveway of his and Sandra’s home. After he confronted her and told her to get her crazy ass off his property, she hopped into her 2004 silver Mercedes and attempted three times to run him over.

I don’t think Mercedes are going to be happy to be known as the stalker’s death car of choice.

Here are more details from E! Online:

The police identified the woman as Marcia Valentine, who, they say, has been a longtime stalker of Bullock and has been seen near her house before, in what seems to have become her usual perch outside the garage.

After James confronted Valentine, she hopped into her 2004 silver Mercedes and tried to run over the Monster Garage host three or four times before speeding off, according to police.

“She threw it in reverse. He jumped out of the way, of course,” Sheriff’s Department spokesman Jim Amormino told Los Angeles’ KABC-TV. “He tried to avoid her. She would put it in drive, in reverse again…I’m not sure if she was looking for a confrontation, wanted to contact the actress, [or] exactly what it was.”

The vehicle didn’t actually touch James and he was not hurt, authorities said, although his missus and 10-year-old son were plenty shaken up after watching a stranger attempt to make mincemeat out of the muscled motorcycle-builder.

Poor Sandy. It is always horrible to see someone try to hurt a loved one and feel powerless to stop them. It’s good to see the family is well after this incident. Apparently this woman has been a long time stalker of hers as well.

It’s not the first time Bullock has been stalked by a mad person. She currently has another stalker staying in a hospital courtesy of Tennessee’s Department of Mental Health. She had him locked up back in 2003.

How the hell did this woman manage to get her Merc as far as Bullock’s garage to run people over with her car, anyway? Bullock is rich (although Speed 2 probably put a dent in her paychecks), she can afford to have better security guard her home from nutbars like these. She better get ADT on the phone, pronto.

Picture note from Celebitchy: Header image is an older candid from Gabsmash. Inset photo is the stalker’s mushot from TMZ.

Virgie Arthur has filed an appeal against a court decision allowing Larry Birkhead to remove his daughter Dannielynn from the Bahamas, provided he makes it back in time for the next custody hearing on the 9th June.

It’s a strange request, considering that just a few months ago she was arguing for Anna Nicole to be buried in the US, and she herself resides in the US. Besides, it’s already established that she is the little girl’s grandmother, so there is no denying of kinship there.

Larry Birkhead has said in the past that he has no problem with Virgie being a grandmother to Dannielynn, but he didn’t feel comfortable signing a piece of paper allowing dual guardianship of his daughter. Damn right, too. This is a woman who thinks it’s OK to have kids with her step-brother, and lets her daughter be a hot mess during life. She’s so despised, that even Larry’s ex-arch nemesis Howard K. Stern is willing to help him in any way he can to keep custody of Dannielynn as long as Virgie doesn’t get her. She even tried to stop her own daughter’s funeral from going ahead. I wouldn’t want to allow guardianship of my cat to a woman like that.

Anna Nicole couldn’t stand the woman when she was alive, so Virgie should consider herself lucky that Larry has allowed her any contact with his daughter as it wasn’t what Anna Nicole wanted. Besides, didn’t she say way back when this whole mess started that all she wanted was for the little girl to be safe and with her father? Well Howard’s stepped back, and Larry’s the father — it’s time Virgie does the same and put her money where her big mouth is, instead of in time wasting court litigation.

I am seriously starting to think Virgie Arthur has nothing better to do with her time than alienate people. She needs to lay all this down to rest along with her daughter.

Source: TMZ

The National Enquirer is claiming in its new issue that Angelina Jolie has a “deadly disease” that is causing her to lose her hair, lose weight, and is leaving her exhausted. I do not have access to the article yet, and will be able to read it tomorrow. This sounds like another publication’s take on it after seeing the cover of The Enquirer:

HOLLYWOOD star Angelina Jolie has a “deadly disease”, an influential major showbiz newspaper is claiming.

The actress and campaigner for child poverty has sparked concern recently with a massive plunge in weight.

She appeared overnight at a charity news conference in Washington looking emaciated and exhausted.

America’s The National Enquirer magazine is reporting this week that Jolie has a potentially fatal “serious health problem.”

Pre-publication shots of the cover show headlines claiming Jolie is “losing her hair”, suffers “uncontrollable shaking” and is plagued by blinding headaches.

It also adds her beau Brad Pitt will stand by the actress, despite rumours as to the state of their relationship.

My first impression is that it sounds like hyperthyroidism. I have hypothryroidism, which is low thyroid hormone levels, and take a thyroid hormone replacement. One of my friends has hyperthyroidism or an abnormally overactive thryoid, and she is quite thin and her hair is also kind of limp and not full. She talks a mile a minute, much like Angelina Jolie in some of the interviews I’ve seen her in. Remember when Angelina was interviewed in Namibia (link leads to video) at the press conference after Shiloh was born and she just kept talking? Angelina doesn’t talk fast, but she certainly goes on.

Women can also suffer from fluctuations of their thyroid hormone levels after they give birth, with hyperthyroidism predominating. I know Shiloh was born back in May, but it’s possible Angelina has been having thyroid trouble since she was born and that may explain her rapid weight loss and inability to keep weight on.

Here are some symptoms of hyperthyroidism, which sound quite similar to what The Enquirer is claiming Angelina suffers from, including trembling hands, hair and weight loss:

Palpitations
Heat intolerance
Nervousness
Insomnia
Breathlessness
Fatigue

Fast heart rate
Trembling hands
Weight loss
Muscle weakness
Warm moist skin
Hair loss
Staring gaze

Headaches and migraines are also common in hyperthyroidism, which is also called Grave’s Disease. Hyperthyroidism isn’t really a “deadly disease,” but if those are Angelina’s symptoms I would bet that’s what it is - if I was a doctor I mean I would test her for it at least.

Thanks to popbytes for the header image.

Another day, another “Britney is an ignorant hick who refuses to grow up” story. According to MSNBC, Britney may be hitting the bottle again, about a month after she left rehab.

Oh. My. God. I think the vein on the side of my temple is going to pop. I need to take things slowly now before I lose it…

OK…

I. Am. So. Tired. Of. Dumb. Britney. STORIES!!!

(*Deep Breath*)

See, this is what I get for feeling a bit of sympathy for her in my last blog — now I’m having a mini nervous breakdown caused by her stupidity.

Is Britney Spears drinking again? The recently rehabbed star is already back on the bottle, according to the upcoming issue of In Touch. The singer “tossed back glasses of wine” at a friend’s Beverly Hills condo with her cousin Alli Sims on April 14, according to the mag, which reports that the two were later spotted at the hotspot Parc, where she had more wine. The next day, she went to the Japanese restaurant Shu Sushi, where she allegedly drank sake, reports In Touch.

“Brit feels like she can have a few drinks,” a “friend” tells the mag. “She feels like as long as she’s having fun and not hurting anyone, she doesn’t need rehab.”

Earth to Baldie! People go to rehab because they are harming THEMSELVES, not other people. Rehab is not a spa, and you’re not a bloody doctor. If professionals with years of experience tell you that you are an addict, it means precisely that! It does NOT mean that it allows you wiggle room to self diagnose yourself with Post Partum Depression and declare yourself cured after a half assed attempt at cleaning yourself up!

Britney obviously does not care about herself or her children enough to change her behavior. And what’s even worst is that she blames all her dysfunctional behavior on others. Everyone should just let this wreck get on with it now, only she can get out of herself out of her own little made up world.

That’s it. I WASH my hands of you, Britney! The Common Sense train arrived at your station, and you stayed at Dumb Ass Central. K-Fed is a better parent. That’s right, I said it, K “I can’t rap to save my life” Fed. There is no hope for this woman anymore.

Note by Celebitchy: Here’s Britney at Millenium dance studios for the umpteeth time. Both her boys are with her, but we can only see Jayden James’ foot. If she were a cult member I would have been calling that a conspiracy months ago. Also, Britney is supposedly performing at the House of Blues next week. Jessie is right. She’s so overexposed. (Not that we’re going to stop covering her. It’s so easy.)

Sorry the links are late and we were kind of unproductive today. I’m wicked sick plus I spent most of the morning working on the new site design. A while ago I mentioned that we’re moving to a new platform and it’s all gone slower than I hoped but should be available within about two weeks.

- Tobey Maguire smacks a camera out of a fan’s hand [The Blemish]
- Tobey Maguire has a posse of ten, including a personal chef [CelebSlam]
- Dora The Explorer takes a call from Alec Baldwin [Jossip]
- Lindsay Lohan’s cleavage starts the weekend out right [Egotastic]
- How did Jessica Alba get voted FHM’s sexiest woman of 2007? [Bastardly]
- People Photoshops out the US Weekly signs in the background behind Lindsay Lohan [Gawker]
- World’s 2nd fastest condom [The Grumpiest]
- The Beckams found a house in LA [A Socialite's Life]
- Ryan Phillippe looks like a tool [PopSugar]
- Jenna Elfman says TomKat is happily brainwashed [Mollygood]
- Is Britney Spears coming out with a tell-all book? [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Did Britney Spears get cupped? [popbytes]
- Idol Gives Back took in 60 million for charity [Evil Beet]
- The kid from Jerry McGuire is kind of doofy looking [Agent Bedhead]
- Marilyn Manson and his Holita [CelebNewsWire]
- Virgie Arthur got denied in her last-minute appeal to stop Larry Birkhead from taking Dannielynn home [CelebWarship]
- Paris Hilton tries to hide her wonky eye under her bangs [DListed]
- New Paris Hilton autopsy sculpture warns teens of the dangers of drunk driving, looks realistic apart from the pre-surgery boobs [Derek Hail]
- Brooke Hogan performing half naked (site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
- Jake & Maggie Gyllenhaal take Ramona for a walk [ICYDK]
- Skinny celebrity butts [CityRag]
- Next starring Nicolas Cage and Jessica Biel is a crappy film that will leave you feeling manipulated and ripped off (spoilers) [Pajiba]
- Colin Farrell and his new girlfriend [Gabsmash]
- How to tell if a guy is interested in you at the gym (may offend) [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]