Stylish Celebrity Escapism
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Jul 1
'07
What happened to Lauryn Hill?

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Former Fugees singer and eight time Grammy winner Lauryn Hill gave a terrible performance in Oakland on Wednesday night. That normally wouldn’t be news here but it was so bad, and her demeanor so bizarre, that half the audience walked out before it was over. From 75-100 people left just 4 songs into her set, demanding refunds. She was two and a half hours late on stage and performed a mismatched jumble of old and new songs along with a 14 piece band. According to concert goers her voice was barely audible and most of her old hits like “To Zion” and “Ready or Not” were set to throbbing techno beats.

Wearing a long wool coat and long skirt, she looked and acted crazy, huffing and puffing on stage. At several points her voice cracked. She wiped her face with a black handkerchief that she clutched throughout. At one point she told the audience that if they were uncomfortable with her, it was too bad.

Both the San Jose Mercury News and the San Francisco Chronicle had similar conclusions about her odd performance.

How bad was this concert? Well, calling it a fiasco would be an insult to fiascos everywhere. It was so bad that it sent 75 to 100 fans into the lobby only four songs into the set, all of them grumbling loudly and demanding refunds. Those were the smart ones - the rest of us remained in our seats and watched what amounted to a two-hour train wreck.

[From The San Jose Mercury News]

Aural audience response was divided between cheers and boos. Others sat and stood in silence, their mouths agape at what they were hearing and seeing.

Her hair in an unkempt rust-colored Afro, Hill wore a green-and-yellow plaid jacket that appeared to be made of wool and an ankle-length black skirt, looking not unlike a bag lady one might encounter at a taco truck on International Boulevard. She held a microphone in her right hand and a black handkerchief in her left, frequently wiping sweat from her face as she paced the stage…

Most of the music, including old favorites such as “Ready or Not” and “To Zion,” as well as newer material recorded locally last year but reportedly rejected by Columbia Records for being too uncommercial, was treated to highly syncopated arrangements drawing on Afro-pop and reggae elements. Few featured the backbeats with which fans of her older material are most comfortable, but rather a frenetically throbbing pulse driven by a three-man percussion section that included former Tony Toni Toné drummer Brian Collier. There’s nothing wrong in experimenting with new rhythms; the primary problem was in Hill’s slipshod presentation.

Some concertgoers who had paid as much as $89.50 for tickets were requesting refunds even before Hill hit the stage — two hours and 15 minutes after the concert’s scheduled 7:30 start and 80 minutes after the opening act, Jupiter Rising, had finished its set. This was an improvement, however, over club shows last summer in San Francisco and Santa Cruz at which her performances began more than two hours behind schedule. Other patrons started their exits during her first song, and the trickle turned to a flow after a speech late in the show during which the vocalist attempted to explain her new musical direction.

“When you’re young, gifted and black — and female — you have to have a lot of endurance,” she said, borrowing from the title of a song made famous by Nina Simone, a singer who’d had a somewhat similar meltdown more than three decades earlier.

“I can’t fit into a stereotype that makes me comfortable for you,” she added. “If that makes me feel uncomfortable to you, I need to find some new company.”

[From SFGate.com]

Hill took a tumble and fell on her back at one point, blaming her high heels. She also assured the audience that she was sober.

Here’s a recent clip of Hill performing in Rio. You can hear the odd beats in the one song and she is holding that black towel that was mentioned in the SFGate article:

Hill is not known for being a team player. At a December, 2003 Christmas benefit concert at the Vatican, she gave a scathing speech about the Catholic Church’s implicit role in the child sexual abuse scandal, saying at the end that “Holy God is a witness to the corruption of your leadership, of the exploitation and abuses which are the minimum that can be said for the clergy. There is no acceptable excuse to defend the church.” (I agree with her and was rather inspired to hear that she was so outspoken about it.) [From Wikipedia]

The Fugees had a brief reunion tour in 2004 and 2005 playing at Dave Chappelle’s Block Party in September, 2004 in Brooklyn, and at the BET Awards in 2005. They toured Europe in December, 2005. A planned Fugees album to be released this year was scrapped and member Pras said that Hill had “some issues she needs to deal with.”

The 32 year-old mother of four has not had a studio album out since her critically acclaimed release “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill” in 1998. She did release some acoustic songs on the 2002 album “MTV Unplugged No. 2.0.”

Hill took a hiatus after “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill,” and was quoted as complaining about the way that the studio tried to pigeonhole her for commercial gain. Maybe that’s what she’s rebelling against, or maybe she just needs to go to rehab like so many other celebrities who have fallen from grace.

Photos from SFGate.com
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Jul 2
'07
Would you like a Paris and/or Britney blackout? Plus celebrities’ favorite charities


I’ve been going through some personal issues that have made me question my choice of a career gossiping about celebrities. I honestly care about world issues, and paying constant attention to celebrities seems increasingly counterproductive to me. Instead of throwing in the towel, we might have a slight content change over the next few days.

The main thing I’m suffering from is Paris and Britney burnout. These women are easy to pay attention to because they pull dumb stunts every few days. They add little to society and are about as deep as a stagnant puddle teeming with bacteria three days after a hard rain. Although Lohan is in rehab to avoid jail time she can easily be added to the mix, and I’d like to ignore her skinny ass too.

Would you like a week free of Paris, Britney and/or Lohan stories? I’ve mentioned before that the LohitneyParis phenomenon is hard to ignore as they’re low-hanging fruit in the gossip world.

Please let us know if you’d like us to ignore some of all of these do-nothings this week.



In honor of the celebrities who are actually making a difference in the world instead of getting into trouble and then talking about charity in a lame attempt to redeem themselves, here’s a link to one of Angelina Jolie and Leonardo DiCaprio’s favorite charities, SOS Children’s villages. We gave them a donation in honor of our change of perspective. Every little bit helps, and if you’re doing well you might consider sending your favorite charity something.

Other celebrity-favorite charities include:
Heifer International (Oprah)
Doctors without Borders (Angelina Jolie, Robin Williams)
Make Poverty History (Brad Pitt, Cameron Diaz)
ONE Campaign (Bono, Matt Damon)
Project HOME (Scarlett Johansson, Orlando Bloom)
Not On Our Watch (George Clooney, Brad Pitt)
MADRE (Susan Sarandon)
Global Green (Pierce Brosnan, Brad Pitt)
Natural Resources Defense Council (Kyra Sedgwick)

Thanks to Look To The Stars for this information, where you can find a lot more about charities that are supported by celebrities.

There’s also a great blog with the latest news about celebrity charity called CelebCase.

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Jul 2
'07
Cameron Diaz’s new boyfriend is married, creepy


Cameron Diaz was spotted out and about in Las Vegas with magician/illusionist Criss Angel a few weeks ago. She seems to have met him while she was on a vacation in the gambling capital with her best friend Drew Barrymore.

In case anyone was wondering if they were casually dating or getting serious, Angel made it clear that he’s anxious to let the world know that Cameron is willing to be seen with him. He name-dropped the actress after his successful stunt escaping from a glass block encased in concrete in Times Square, saying “I’d like to dedicate this escape to my girl ‘Trouble,’ a.k.a. Cameron. I love you baby. Have a safe trip to Europe for your Shrek tour.”

I was hoping that after that Cameron would wise up and keep her distance from the guy. Either the sex is too good or she’s not bright enough to realize he’s milking their relationship for publicity, because paparazzi agency X17 says she’s now on vacation with Angel in an undisclosed location.

The news that Diaz is still with Angel is even more shocking considering that a woman who says she’s Angel’s secret wife has just filed for divorce from the magician. Joanne Sarantakos is mighty pissed that her husband not only never acknowledged her, claiming it would be better for his career if he was single, but had a very public affair with Diaz:

angelwife.jpgThe “secret” Long Island wife of kooky magician Criss Angel yesterday accused him of having an affair with Cameron Diaz, claiming their marriage broke down as soon as the TV illusionist got famous and bedded the Hollywood star.

Celebrity lawyer Dominic Barbara - who represents Angel’s wife, Joanne Sarantakos - says he will now subpoena Diaz and have her testify about their romance, in state Supreme Court in Mineola, to support the spurned spouse’s divorce suit on the grounds of mental cruelty and abandonment.

Angel - who changed his name from Sarantakos and moved to Las Vegas after he hit the big time with his TV show “Mindfreak” - kept his wife of five years “as a secret” to increase his sex appeal to female fans, Barbara said.

The couple had a 15-year relationship, he said.

“We’re naming Cameron Diaz as his lover,” Barbara told the court. “We will subpoena her as soon as she comes back to New York.”

[From the NY Post]

Angel’s wife says she hasn’t seen a dime of her husband’s millions, and that he never sent her a check for $7,000 that he promised her for expenses.

I’m wondering why this didn’t come out sooner. Angel was dating Minnie Driver last year, and was even said to be engaged to her. She was said to have broken up with him back in November after he was publicly flirting with Paris Hilton.

It sounds like Angel’s wife put up with it until she realized that she wasn’t going to get any money out of the deal. Whatever happens, it doesn’t seem like this is going to end well for Diaz. The guy seemed like a jerk even before the news came out that he was married.

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Jul 2
'07
Liv Tyler celebrates her 30th birthday with her family


Liv Tyler, her husband Royston Langdon, and their two and a half year-old son, Milo, went out for lunch yesterday at the Spotted Pig in the West Village for for Liv’s 30th birthday.

The family looked happy and relaxed as multiple paparazzi documented their outing. At one point Liv was seen bending down to tie her son’s shoe.

The latest kind of tame news about Liv, which is a nice alternative to the crazy celebrity stories that pass for news, is that she says she’ll “definitely” have plastic surgery at some point and that having a baby really changed her body. It’s kind of nice to hear how open and honest she is about it.

She said to Allure Magazine “I’m definitely going to have some [plastic surgery], I’m sure. Especially when you see what happens to your body after you have a baby.”

In that same interview she also said that she regrets not making out with Kate Hudson in their 2000 film Dr. T and the Women. They played women who were attracted to each other but they were both too scared to kiss on screen. She said “Kate plays a woman who is about to get married and she’s completely in love with me. We were always so shy about the kissing but in retrospect we were like, ‘We so should have just totally made out and tongued each other‘. But we never did, we were just too scared to do it.”

Now someone is going to cast Tyler as a hot lesbian in a film, just wait and see. Tyler stars in the upcoming thriller The Strangers with Scott Speedman which is out July 13th.

Thanks to WENN for these pictures.

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Jul 2
'07
Russell Crowe A Living Treasure

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I have never been a fan of Russell Crowe, considering him to be all of the things I hate about New Zealand Rugby boys. The bad temper, crap music, and brawling outside bars are all cliches of 1980’s rugby boys.

So when he was approached as a ‘living treasure’ to write a letter to be sealed in a time capsule, I figured he’d just stick a picture of his team in, sign it, and not really prove to be literate.

Instead he submitted this:

“Dear Charlie and Tennyson,

When this capsule opens you will both be fully grown men and God willing your mother and I will still be around. My hope for your future is that you find the things and the people and the love that bring you joy in life, and above anything that your hearts are happy. You have no idea how much our lives have been blessed by you. I aim to be in every way the father that you need. Whatever comes along I will always love you with my whole being and my soul. I thank God for you both every day and show my gratitude to the universe in every way I can.

My fervent hope for this country is that we mature enough to have our own Bill of Human Rights and a constitution that protects the rights of individuals as we understand those rights should be. Rights that Australians don’t currently have.

I hope that Australia manages to keep its unique humour and its reputation for fair play and I hope the world resolves its political conflicts so that we can all focus on loving and protecting our planet.

Boys, I know I will have brought you up to love your mother above all and I just want to remind you to look to her care.

Love,

Dad.”

Maybe not a dickhead after all.

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Jul 2
'07
Liz Hurley’s Son Wears Bikini

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First Celine Dion appears on magazine covers with her long haired son, Rosie O’Donnell’s daughter dressed like a soldier, now Liz Hurley has her son modelling her girls’ swimwear range. Whatever happened to gender stereotypes?

Did she really want a girl? Can’t she just adopt one like all the other celebrity moms are doing? Apparently she was very insistent her son appear in the shoot, while others were uncomfortable with the idea.

An insider fumed: “It’s an outrage Liz made her son do this. He’s not old enough to make that sort of decision.

“Imagine the teasing he could suffer at school. Why would any parent do this to their child?”

The bizarre image, showing Damian hiding behind giant sunglasses, featured on Liz’s official website.

The source added: “Liz suggested Damian pose in the bikini. Other people were uncomfortable with it but she insisted.”

[From News of the World]

Maybe this is all just a result of the fact her previous leopardskin range was deemed too racy for kids - although those weird videos of her eating ice cream haven’t raised an eyebrow.

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Pictures from Daily Mail and News.com.au

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Jul 2
'07
Natalie Portman and Andy Samberg going strong

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Natalie Portman and Andy Samberg met when they worked together on that famous gangster rap skit for Saturday Night Live in the spring of 2006. Then when Andy split up with Kirsten Dunst in March, he got a call from Natalie and they’ve been together ever since:

Sparks flew with Natalie Portman, 26, worked with Andy Samberg, 28, on a skit for Saturday Night Live last year. But the two cuties didn’t hook up until March, when the newly single Star Wars star called Andy to chat. Andy had ust split up with Kirsten Dunst. The next thing you know, a source tells Star, “the two became inseparable.” The couple is still going strong despite Natalie being in China for work. “The lovebirds speak every day and Andy is telling his friends that he’s totally in love,” says the source.

[From Star Magazine print edition, July 9, 2007]

US Weekly mentioned about a month ago that these two were dating after Portman split from her on-off relationship with Gael García Bernal. It’s nice to hear that they’re still doing well as they make a cute couple.

Portman was just in Rwanda this weeked, whereshe named a baby mountain gorilla to help bring awareness to the cause of saving the endangered species. Rwandan president Paul Kagame held a ceremony to call for protection of mountain gorillas. Portman named her gorilla “Ahazaza,” or “future.”

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Jul 2
'07
Princes pay tribute to the late Princess Diana and her causes at memorial concert


Around 63,000 fans attended a memorial concert for Princess Diana on Sunday night in Wembley Stadium in London. 24 performances that ranged in genre from rock, pop, rap and ballet paid tribute to the late princess of Wales in a concert planned by her two sons, William and Harry. Tickets went for $90 a piece with the proceeds to go towards causes supported by Diana.

Performances by Nelly Furtado, Lily Allen, Elton John Brian Ferry, P. Diddy, Duran Duran, Fergie, Joss Stone, Kanye West, Andrew Lloyd Weber, Rod Stewart, Pharrell Williams, Tom Jones and Take That, among others offered something for everyone.

The concert ended with a performance by Elton John of “Tiny Dancer.” His set was cut short by technical glitches, and it is unclear if it was problems with the equipment or an attempt to keep the concert upbeat that kept him from singing his famous tribute to Diana, “Candle in the Wind.”

In a statement to the crowd at the end of the concert, Prince William said that his mother would have wanted to have been remembered with such a joyous event, and Prince Harry told his regiment back in Iraq that he was thinking of them and wished he could be with them. He sat next to his girlfriend Chelsy, at one point giving her a very public kiss. Prince William sat two rows away from Kate Middleton, his ex-girlfriend with whom he is rumored to be reconciled. (They were said to have spent the night together. The NY Post reported this weekend that William and Kate’s breakup was just for show as William feared for her safety due to paparazzi hounding her.)

It would have been Diana’s 46th birthday this weekend. She died in a car crash in Paris on August 31, 1997, along with her boyfriend, Dodi Al Fayed.

Photos from WENN, Splash News and Hello! The fourth picture below, of Joss Stone with her hand on Prince William’s arm, is from the concert rehearsal.

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Jul 2
'07
Celebitchy is LohitneyParis free this week & we’re hiring again

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Illustration from Gallery of the Absurd

Celebitchy is Britney, Paris and Lohan free this week
I’m not going to get all political on you guys, but I am going to completely ignore all Britney, Paris and Lohan stories this week. Thanks for voting and commenting to let me know that you’d like to ignore them too.

This is a celebrity gossip site and it’s not like I’m changing the format entirely, but I don’t want to pay attention to those fools and most of you agree with me. It’s a holiday week anyway, so we’ll see how it works out. Maybe in the future we’ll cover those three, but not extensively. They don’t need any more attention.

This does severely limit the gossip on slow days, so we might go back to pointing out their idiocy at some point when we’re less burnt out.

Celebitchy is hiring:
We pay bloggers a competitive rate per post, but we’re having trouble keeping people as they keep getting jobs. Rose got a real job, and Helen is still around but she seems busy or something.

If you would like to write for Celebitchy, please e-mail a link to your celebrity blog and an introductory letter to info@celebitchy.com. (If you don’t have a celebrity blog I will ask you to start one on Wordpress or Typepad with 2-3 examples of current stories.)

Celebitchy’s style is bitchy but not mean, and we strive for balanced, somewhat well-researched coverage of entertainment and celebrity news.

You will need to have at least 2-3 hours free every weekday to dedicate to blogging, and you need to be available for at least a few weeks. If you’re reliable and a decent writer this can be a lucrative summer job for you that pays better than working retail. You can work as much as you want and make as much as you want, but again you need to be consistent and write every weekday for at least 3-4 posts a day.

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Jul 2
'07
“Nick and Vanessa’s sex pics, coming soon” Links

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Does the LohitneyParis ban extend to the links? Let me know. I’m strictly avoiding them in the links today, but I don’t think you guys will mind if I just link to stories about them.

- There are pictures of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo having sex in a jacuzzi and their lawyers are warning the gossip rags not to publish them. They’ll be online soon. [The Blemish]
- Did Pete Doherty cheat on Kate Moss [Agent Bedhead]
- Five nominees for best GQ cover of all time [Crazy Days and Nights]
- Jessica Simpson’s new movie sucks, while Ashlee Simpson’s new Sketchers ad sucks too. [popbytes]
- Beyonce is overexposed, annoying [Bossip]
- Ethan Hawke in new vampire movie [Gabsmash]
- Cute dancing babies [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
- Nicole Richie clutches pillow [Celebwarship]
- Rebecca Gayheart topless on a yacht (site NWFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
- Fergie is getting $4 million to include a song about Candie’s shoes on her new album [I’m Not Obsessed]
- Salman Rushdie and Padma Lakshmi are getting divorced [DListed]
- Eva Longoria in a blue bikini [Hollywood Rag]
- Drunk Victoria and David Beckham [Bastardly]
- Sarah Michelle Gellar Opens The Harrods Summer Sale [ICYDK]
- Pamela Anderson’s 40th birthday [Evil Beet]
- What the heck is Jennifer Love Hewitt wearing? [Celebslam]
- Jessica Alba is a bathroom hog [yeeeah]
- Roxanne McKee in FHM [The Grumpiest]
- Elle Macpherson’s son has long hair - with bangs [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
- Fantasia Barrino has her clit pierced [Rhymes with Snitch]

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Recent Comments:
  • James: Is his boyfriend related to Val Kilmer?
  • Frenchie: I find this story amazing.I am not especially for or against what they did. This is just one case on earth....
  • jinx: Her size is not the problem, not one comment called her overweight. Not one. So how’s the weather out in...
  • Megan: I don’t know why he got angry about this either. People assume that if you’re married to someone...
  • jinx: So we can add killer to the list of crimes this family has committed. Well that explains why Kfed doesn’t...
  • Megan: I think if you really wanted your relationship to work, you would MAKE the time for it. The whole work...
  • Nan: The charity, the life. Angelina Jolie is her own person. SHE is the one making all of this happen. She’s a...
  • Andrea: Eh, I think it’s not so simple to say that they have tons of money and they do’nt need to work...