Take this for what it is, pure speculative gossip considering the source, which has been known to make up stories and/or completely misinterpret pictures, but there’s at least some circumstantial evidence behind it. MediaTakeOut reported that Jessica Alba joined 50 Cent in The Netherlands where he was on tour last month, and was seen having a romantic dinner with him. He even brought her onstage during his concert calling her ” the loveliest woman in Hollywood,” and there was video on YouTube (now removed) of the incident. They speculate that he was cheating on his maybe-girlfriend, Ciara, with Alba:

One of MediaTakeOut.com’s faithful readers in the Netherlands caught up with 50 and Jessica on what she claims was a romantic evening. Tells the tipster, “Last Friday I was at [a local restaurant named] Van Vlaanderen and you’ll never guess who I saw – 50 Cent and Jessica Alba. They tried to sit quietly in the back but I know it was them …. They were talking and laughing like a real couple and it looked very romantic. At one point it even looked like they were going to kiss, but they didn’t.”

And there’s more to the story. The very next night, at a concert in the Netherlands, 50 actually brought Jessica out on stage with him – introducing her as the “loveliest woman in Hollywood.”

[From Media Take Out]

This was reported on July 9, and I used to repeat Media Take Out’s gossip right away, as it’s usually pretty juicy. I found out that they report a lot of BS though, and after getting burned on the “Beyonce is really 32” story based on Photoshopped documents I stopped covering their stories.

Now that Alba has broken up with her longterm boyfriend, Cash Warren, having her assistant move his stuff out of her place, this story might deserve a second look.

Blogger Juju’s Jamba does some investigative journalism and notes that Alba was coincidentally in Paris at the same time that 50 Cent was on tour there, not that they were seen together. Was 50 the reason that Alba kicked Cash Warren to the curb? It seems too speculative at this point.

Commentors on Gossip Rocks where we found this story note that there’s a recent blind item from the Panache Report that says that “non-black/non-white actress currently on a TV series” and a “rapper/actor” had a secret relationship, and that the actress broke it off when her reps told her it wasn’t good for her career. She was said to have regretted it, and to only have realized how much she missed the rapper once he got involved with another woman.

Are Alba and 50 Cent together and did they have a secret relationship in the past? Time will tell, but if there is something going on they’ll be sure to try and hide it for as long as possible.

I was really hoping to ignore Britney, Lohan and Paris for as long as possible, but when their hectic lives are filled with such gossip-worthy tidbits it’s hard to resist. You’ll forgive me for indulging today, and we’ll have to see where the site heads in terms of paying attention to the three disgraces in the future.

Britney was staying at a Las Vegas resort with her two boys and was asked to leave after her bodyguard got into a fight with a photographer. It sounds like the photographer is claiming that the bodyguard beat him up and accidentally hit little Sean Preston, while Britney is claiming that another photographer hit her bodyguard and is the one who hit the boy. Whatever happened, there was a fight and Sean Preston was injured.

Britney’s bodyguard, a guy curiously named Julio Camera, ironically seems to hate paparazzi and probably pulled a Mickey Brett on one of the photographers who constantly follow Britney. Like moths are attracted to light, the paparazzi follow those nip, crotch and ass slips and you can hardly blame them for tailing Britney all day. According to the partner of the photographer, who witnessed the incident, the photographer got too close to Britney’s older child, Sean Preston, and “Camera” shoved the guy, accidentally hitting Sean Preston. (I’ll include quotation marks around Camera’s name from now on as it’s confusing when there’s also a photographer involved.)

Then the bodyguard, “Camera,” got really incensed and starting beating up the photographer, even though he was the one who started it. It’s nice to know Britney surrounds herself with reasonable people to balance out her craziness.

The way that US Weekly describes it is confusing, but after this happened Britney filed a police report against a different photographer, claiming he assaulted her bodyguard and battered her child (it was not stated that it was SP). “Camera,” Britney’s bodyguard, was the one who was charged with battery by the police. It sounds like there was a fight and that Sean Preston was injured.

A photographer who was shooting Spears vacationing with her two children at the resort claims that earlier today, Camera shoved his partner in the chest and accidentally hit toddler Sean Preston in the process.

The photographer then alleges that Spears started yelling while Camera tackled his partner to the ground and began punching. He claims that after Wynn security asked all parties involved to leave, the Las Vegas police were called to take statements.

Sgt. Loretto of the Las Vegas Police Department tells Usmagazine.com that Camera has been issued a citation for misdemeanor battery. Meanwhile, Loretto says that Spears has filed an allegation of battery on behalf of Sean Preston against photographer Kyle Henderson.

Spears’ battery allegation remains under investigation, with Vegas police issuing the following statement: “A second Incident Crime Report was also filed by Ms. Spears on behalf of her minor child. In that report it was alleged that prior to the above incident a second photographer, identified as Kyle Henderson, battered both Mr. Camera and Ms. Spears’ child , who was at that time being held by the security officer.”

[US Weekly]

Britney was kicked out of that resort in Vegas after being there for less than a day, and is probably not welcome back.

Meanwhile Britney’s Vegas trip might have been the last straw in her custody battle. K-Fed was said to have visited a lawyer to see if her recent antics on the OK! Magazine photo shoot could be used against her in the divorce proceedings. Now that she jetted off to Vegas, violating her custody agreement, Life and Style reports that his lawyer ordered her to return to LA immediately and that her custody could be in jeopardy.

If it was just Britney involved, it would be laughable and more of the same for this messed-up woman, but the sad thing is that her kids are being affected all too seriously by this. Even though the tendency is to find her at fault somehow, you can’t blame her though I guess if it was someone else fighting. I hope Sean Preston wasn’t hurt too badly. There was no mention of medical attention or a hospital, so hopefully his injuries were minor.

Thanks to Splash News for these recent pictures of Britney and her bodyguard and boys.

TMZ is on top of the Nicole Richie DUI trial. There were plenty of reporters and paparazzi outside the hearing, but in the videos of her entering the courthouse they seem to leave her relatively alone. She strolled into the courtroom arm in arm with her boyfriend, Joel Madden, and was wearing a loose black sleeveless dress and big ‘ol sunglasses. At first TMZ says she doesn’t look pregnant, but it’s hard to tell from the camera angles and pictures available. In their next article TMZ is calling her pregnant, and says she received five days in jail and will serve four days as she received credit for six hours served, in exchange for a guilty plea in her DUI case.

She received a $2,048 fine and will get three years probation. She was also ordered to take a 21 day alcohol education course. Richie was said to be calm and non-emotional during the sentencing.

Richie made a wise decision in light of the media circus and harsh sentence that were likely to result from a full blown trial. Given the latest details in the Lohan incident, driving the wrong way on the freeway while under the influence of Vicodin and pot seems minor when compared to stealing a car, kidnapping three people, chasing multiple other people, and refusing to pull over despite passengers’ pleas for their life. Richie’s transgression has been overshadowed by the severity and deliberate nature of Lohan’s DUI, and she’s likely to be grateful for that.

Richie has to report for jail by September 28. Her baby is thought to be due in January.

Thanks to Splash News for these photos and TMZ for the story.

- I Know Who Killed Me sucks ass [Crazy Days and Nights]
- The Spice Girls add more tour dates, get airbrushed to perfection [DListed]
- Jessica Alba at ComicCon [Drunken Stepfather]
- Maybe Jessica Alba isn’t getting with 50 Cent after all, she’s now with some other guy [Gabsmash]
- Isla Fisher Showing Off Her Baby Bump [I'm Not Obsessed]
- The Simpsons Movie lives up to expectations and is pretty funny [Pajiba]
- Hot or not: Michelle Kwan [Bastardly]
- Are Ryan Adams (what the hell was I thinking?) Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling engaged? I thought they were broken up. [ICYDK]
- Beowulf trailer featuring CGI Angelina Jolie [Just Jared]
- Sienna Miller is a gladiator [yeeeah]
- Kate Moss hangs out at Rolling Stong Ronnie Wood’s mansion [Agent Bedhead]
- Britney’s Bodyguard Beating Up Photographer Pic [Hollywood Rag]
- The Beckhams run into Queen Latifah [Bossip]
- Sean Penn looking oddly youthful [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
- Kingston Stefani Rossdale makes a cute face [CelebWarship]
- Penelope Cruz and Bono? [The Grupiest]
- ABC TCA party featuring Rebecca Romijn, Taye Diggs and Michael Vartan [PopSugar]
- Holly Hunter gets subjected to the lamest interview of all time. You have to hope that the woman conducting it is wasted [Horny Oyster]
- Battle of the Moobs: Kurt Russel & Jack Nicholson [CityRag]
- Paula Abdul Says She Was Not Fired From “Bratz” Film [Glitterati]
- Jen Garner & Violet go to their local Rec [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
- Sherri Shepherd and Whoopi Goldberg to join The View [Socialite's Life]
- Rick Springfield to sing on General Hospital [Lifeline Live]

Usher, 28, and his pregnant fiance Tameka Foster, 37 (or 36 or 38 according to various reports) pulled a Ben and J.Lo this weekend, canceling their hastily-planned lavish wedding at the last minute. It was due to be held at famed record producer LA Reid’s estate in the Hamptons on Saturday and between 70-100 guests had to be told that it was called off. Usher’s publicist announced that it will not happen, and leaves all the speculation up to us:

“It was announced today that the wedding ceremony for Usher Raymond IV and Tameka Foster was canceled. No additional information will be given.”

[The AP via Indystar]

This news comes right after details came out about Foster’s criminal past. The National Enquirer just published a story about Foster’s two arrests, one for petty theft in 1991 in which she served 20 days in jail, and another for what was said to be welfare fraud, for which she was sentenced with community service.

What’s more is that Tameka’s first boyfriend was killed “in a drug-related execution-style shooting,” claims the Enquirer. That sounds like it has nothing to do with her, and they’re adding it because it’s a salacious detail. All that happened a long time ago, but do you think it might have been news to Usher too?

Tameka is an ex-con whose first lover was gunned down in a drug-related execution-style shooting.” Poor Usher has no idea who he’s marrying,” Tameka’s half sister Valencia Foster told The Enquirer. ” He’s a wonderful guy – but Tameka is giving him a big-time snow job.” The scene for deception was set at a “getting to know the in-laws” dinner in Tameka’s hometown of Oakland, Calif., on July 7 as the couple finalized plans for a July 28 wedding. Valencia, 49, explained that Usher led a prayer before dinner, then turned to her and said: “‘You know all the family secrets – tell me about them.’ Before I could say a word, Tameka kicked me so hard under the table she almost put a hole in my leg,” Valencia said.” Then she pulled me aside and whispered: ‘Don’t tell him anything.’ “Tameka, fleeing from a troubled home life, moved in with Valencia when she was 11. “She arrived with $14 in food stamps in her purse,” recalled Valencia. “She turned out to be a nightmare. “By 14, she had become involved with a married drug dealer five years older than her, Valencia says. “I banned him from the house – but four years later she was pregnant with his baby when his car was ambushed and he was riddled with bullets. Tameka missed being with him in the car by minutes.

“Court records show that Tameka has been arrested twice. In 1991, she served 20 days in the Los Angeles County Jail for petty theft and was placed on probation for two years. Records indicate she had previously served jail time. An earlier arrest in Alameda County, Calif., involved “some kind of welfare fraud, and she was sentenced to perform community service,” said Valencia. Tameka, Usher’s former wardrobe stylist, has three children and is expecting the singer’s baby in the fall. Usher, 28, recently shocked fans by reportedly firing his manager mother and replacing her with Tameka. The 38-year-old I thought she was susposed to be 36 bride asked her father, John Foster, to give her away at the wedding in the Hampton’s, the tony New York enclave. But Tameka threatened to ban her mom from the ceremony – because she had lost her false teeth! “Tameka told her: ‘You’re not coming to my wedding without teeth,’ ” Valencia said. “I asked her why she didn’t buy her mother a new set, and she told me: ‘Let her get her own f&$#ing teeth- she didn’t take care of me when I was young.’ “Valencia says Tameka’s mom bought the new teeth herself – and she believes one day Usher will discover the truth about his new bride. “Usher is so much in love he’s under her spell,” she said. “But he’s going to find out she’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

[From The National Enquirer via Rhymes with Snitch]

Usher went off a couple of weeks ago on bloggers and fan sites for bashing his older fiance. He wrote an asinine “open letter” claiming “I am happy, excited, completely clear and independent on my direction, feelings, decisions and I am NOT BEING LED. Some media and bloggers have been totally intrusive, they have misconstrued aspects of my personal life and, because of this, my ‘true’ fans are not sure about what is fact and what is fiction.”

Many fans were wary of Foster and weren’t hesitant to warn Usher about her on blogs and message boards. Rumors about Tameka focused on the fact that she may be pregnant with another man’s baby considering when she first started dating Usher and how far along she is, and that she forced Usher to fire his mother as manager and is trying to control him. Usher targeted a fan site, UsherForever.com, for reprinting stories critical of Foster that originated on gossip site MediaTakeOut. The creator of UsherForever was sent a harsh cease and desist by Usher’s lawyers, and she claims that it came after she refused to turn over the site to Usher’s people.

I bet all that legal crap will be dropped by Usher’s lawyers, because it sounds to me like he figured out that everyone was right about Foster after all.

Picture of LA Reid’s home all set up for the canceled wedding is from Splash News. Photo of Tameka’s record from Rhymes with Snitch.

Everyone was buzzing over the new National Enquirer cover, which seems to suggest that Jamie Lynn Spears, the 16 year-old little sister of messed up beyond belief Britney, is pregnant. “Britney’s 16 year-old sister PREGNANCY BOMBSHELL” screams the title on the top of the cover of the rag, accented by a bright yellow background.

The bombshell is more like a dud sparkler, because Jamie Lynn Spears simply missed her period and was worried she could be pregnant. She told big sister Britney about it first, who kept it a secret for her and didn’t even think to tell her to get a pregnancy test. Jamie Lynn eventually broke down and told her mother, who freaked out and was pissed that Jamie Lynn told Britney first. Jamie Lynn finally took a pregnancy test and it turns out it was a false alarm.

A funny thing mentioned in the article is that K-Fed got mixed up in the family drama when Britney’s mom Lynne went over to his house with her ex husband, Jamie, to have a little family pow-wow and get K-Fed’s advice. Lynne was said to be worried that Jamie Lynn, the star of the Nickelodeon series Zoey 101, was about to throw away her chances at a career. It turns out it was all a false alarm, but K-Fed was understandably surprised that Lynn would involve him in the matter.

Jamie Lynn was also said to have received contraceptive advice from Britney, and it sounds like it was before she had the pregnancy scare. The way the article was worded makes it seem like Britney was reasonable about it, but this is the woman with two kids who thought she could breastfeed her baby again after not nursing him for several months. Do you think she knows enough to give her little sister adequate advice?

“Jamie seemed very stressed and couldn’t concentrate,” the insider revealed. “Lynne kept asking her what was wrong and demanded that Jamie Lynn tell her what was going on, or she wasn’t going back to work.

“Jamie Lynn started crying and told her mom the whole story – that she feared she might be pregnant. Lynne said she would take her to the doctor when they got back home to Louisiana. Then Lynne informed her ex-husband Jamie.

Lynne cautioned Jamie they had to be discreet and there was no way she was going to take their daughter to a doctor in Los Angeles, said the insider.

Britney knows that her sister has been sexually active – and has advised her to go on the pill. But little sister refused and told her… that “the pill would make her fat,” according to the insider.

“Use condoms,” Britney replied.

The advice apparently went unheeded.

When Jamie Lynn first noticed she was late, she confised only in Britney and did not want to tell her mom Lynne, according to a friend of the teen…

“Lynne is furious that Jamie Lynn told Britney first and not her,” said the insider…

Strangely, a distraught Lynne and her ex-husband Jamie sought counsel from an unlikely source – Britney’s estranged husband Kevin Federline, who has two children out of wedlock.

The couple met with K-Fed at his Los Angeles home the weekend of July 14, according to the insider…

“Lynne told Kevin that Jamie Lynn could just be stressed out and that she doesn’t have regular periods.

“Kevin couldn’t believe Lynne and her ex-husband were venting in his living room.”

[From The National Enquirer print edition, August 16, 2007]

The huge hole in this story is the fact that everyone assumed Jamie Lynn would have to go to the doctor to get checked out. (There’s also the fact that Britney gave her sister contraceptive advice, as if that would happen.) Pregnancy tests are available at any drugstore, but again this is Britney’s family we’re talking about, so maybe it didn’t occur to any of them.

Jamie Lynn is young, so hopefully this scare will teach her a lesson and she’ll be more careful with contraception in the future. She has a long term boyfriend, 19 year-old Casey Aldridge, who is said to be from her hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana. At the end of June, Jamie Lynn and Casey were looking at apartments together. It is unknown if they’ve moved in together yet, but 16 sounds a little young to be cohabitating. At least Jamie Lynn is in a long term relationship.

I’ll cover the other Enquirer cover story “Stars Ex-Lovers Tell All!” on Monday, but it’s not that revelatory. Katie Holmes is said to have worshiped the ground Chris Klein walked on or something. The Angelina stuff is all old information we’ve heard before.

Update: I just read Star Magazine’s coverage of this story and they have the same details with the exception of Lynne wanting her daughter Jamie Lynn to “fly home to Kentwood, LA, before taking a pregnancy test.” The Enquirer had Lynne wanting Jamie Lynn to go home to see a doctor. It still seems as if no one got the fact that she could have peed on a stick anywhere.

Steve Martin invited some friends over on the weekend – and got married.

Martin’s publicist Alan Nierob said former Nebraska Senator Bob Kerrey, a friend of the actor, presided over the ceremony at Martin’s home.

Lorne Michaels, creator of the US comedy show Saturday Night Live, was Martin’s best man, Nierob said.

Most of the 75 guests – including actors Tom Hanks, Diane Keaton, Eugene Levy and Carl Reiner – were not told that Martin and Stringfield would wed when they were invited to the “house party”, Nierob said.

Martin, 61, was previously married to actress Victoria Tennant, whom he divorced in 1994 after about eight years together, Nierob said.

It was the first marriage for Stringfield, 35, a writer for US Vogue and former staffer of The New Yorker magazine.

The couple had dated for about three years, Nierob said.

Sydney Morning Herald

But the question we all want the answer to is – how much did the photos sell for? Were there any embarassing Father of the Bride moments? Because I can think of one – the father of the bride would be around the same age as the groom. That and the fact the groom was sporting a Pink Panther Inspector Clouseau moustache for his upcoming movie. Fortunately the movie actually is the Pink Panther, so people should have been understanding.

Update by Celebitchy: The National Enquirer said these two were about to get married, and has an article this week about Steve and Anne’s relationship and how they met.

The comedian met Anne – who’s 27 years his junior – when he began writing for “The New Yorker” magazine five years ago.

On the surface, Steve and Anne seem an unlikely pair. He’s a Hollywood star, and she’s an intellectual.

“But many people don’t realize that Steve is a very accomplished writer and an art collector,” said the friend.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, August 6, 2007]

The Enquirer says that Anne helped Steve overcome “devastating bouts of temporary depression” and that she helped him see the lighter side of life.

Journalist Anne was instrumental in getting Steve to write his autobiography. His book “Born Standing Up” is set to come out in November of this year.

Anne is the woman many of us mistook for Kirstin Davis when she was seen frolicking on the beach with Steve early last year.

Header image is a scan from The National Enquirer. Beach photos from Jossip and Sky Showbiz. Thanks to Compleatsteve.com for the black and white inset photo.

It turns out that what stuffy old America really needs, according to X-Play/LFP Video, is a “Brady Bunch” porn spoof. Titled “Not the Bradys XXX” (and thank goodness for those three Xs at the end, or I might have mistaken it and shown it to children) the movie is “definitely expected to be the biggest selling feature title the Larry Flynt empire has seen in over 5 years and early pre-orders have been coming in even though the company has not yet offered the hardcore parody to buyers,” according to Oh No They Didn’t. Lest you fear the movie will focus on sex, please be assured that it will be entirely plot-driven.

Faced with financial difficulties at home due to slow business at his architectural firm, Mike and his wife Carol reluctantly tell the kids that the entire household will be on a budget for the next few months until business picks back up and the cash crisis ends. The kids get together and decide to help out by taking on odd jobs, holding car washes and pitching in wherever they can to help save the family house from bank foreclosure.

Wild fun and mayhem ensue especially when Marcia unwittingly applies for a job as a ‘figure model’ and finds out she’s about to star in a porn movie.”

[From the Porn Valley News]

More importantly, “Not the Bradys XXX” is going to stay true to its roots. “Not the Bradys XXX is directed by Will Ryder and since the movie is a hilarious parody, fans of the TV show will be extra-pleased with the accurate re-creation right down to the backyard grass and the campy music. ‘We all grew up watching the TV show, so it was really important to nail every detail in a completely humorous and sexy way,’ stated Scott David of X-Play who co-produced the movie with Jeff Mullen,” via the Porn Valley News. Now I’m just young enough that I only watched the Brady Bunch in reruns everyday at noon, so maybe my memory is a little shaky, or maybe there were adult elements I didn’t pick up on. But I’m pretty sure they didn’t capture details in a humorous and sexy way on the original show. I remember one episode where Alice took off her apron, but I don’t remember anyone ogling her or making suggestive remarks about it. Must have been because I was 5, you know how innocent you are at that age.

Really, who doesn’t want to see Alice and a grown-up Bobby knocking boots? I’m not going to pretend to know what I’m talking about here, but has porn run out of ideas? I get that they like their humorous spoofs (because God forbid you ever accuse Ron Jeremy of lacking a sense of whimsy) but if nothing else, isn’t this movie like the Transformers film, where you think (and I’m not saying any of you think this, but just go with me here) “Hey, great idea, but isn’t it 30 years too late?” I can’t say how I know this, but I’m pretty sure this issue is going to leak into the next election. It’s topical, like Dan Quail and the “Murphy Brown” thing. But more naked.

In an upcoming interview with GQ magazine, Richard Branson tells of losing his mile high virginity.

“I was sitting in economy on a Freddie Laker flight, next to this very attractive lady, as we headed to Los Angeles,” said the boss of Virgin Atlantic.

“We got chatting and it went a bit further. And it was every man’s dream, to be honest. I was about 19,” the tycoon boasted.

“I remember getting off the plane and she turned to me and said, ‘Look, it’s slightly embarrassing but I am meeting my husband at arrivals, would you mind holding back a bit.’ But it was a memorable flight.

“The problem with plane loos generally is that they are very small, and the acrobatics can’t take too long because there’s no room and people start banging on the door,” Branson explained.

“What I remember vividly is seeing four handprints on the mirror as we finished, and thinking I’d better wipe them off.”

Sydney Morning Herald

Does this mean we have the okay to join the club on Virgin flights? Actually, I can see this being his next marketing campaign. Bigger toilets, complimentary condoms, separate toilets for people actually using them for the more traditional purpose, and little badges like you used to get as a kid to pin on your shirt. Remember the little set of wings you used to get, to show you were an airplane traveling veteran?

Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds got engaged this past weekend. No articles are bothering to mention how he asked her, just that her ring is really, really big. Eight carats big. Why is old lady sized jewelry trendy again? I looked it up, and it turns out that’s about the size of a rib eye steak. Sexy.

“ET has learned that EDDIE MURPHY and his girlfriend of 10 months, TRACEY EDMONDS, are engaged!

According to OK! magazine, the 46-year-old ‘Dreamgirls’ and ‘Shrek the Third’ star proposed on July 25 with a “massive,” roughly 8-carat CARTIER yellow diamond engagement ring.

A friend of the couple says, “They’re very adorable together, very happy,” adding that they plan to tie the knot before the end of the year with a private wedding: “something low-key and romantic.””

[From Entertainment Tonight Online]

TMZ pointed out that Eddie Murphy’s first wedding to Nicole Mitchell in 1993 was on Forbes top ten most expensive celebrity weddings, clocking in at $1.5 million. They obviously have something a little more understated planned the second time around, which I think is classy. Ironic, since I wouldn’t call an 8 carat ring understated, but whatever.

Murphy and Edmonds are going to have quite the bustling house. Eddie has five kids from his twelve year marriage, and one new daughter with Scary Spice Melanie Brown. Tracey has two sons from her thirteen year marriage to Babyface. Eight kids are a lot of little feet running around the house. I’ve always heard that Eddie is a control freak. I kind of imagine that his kids live in his house kind of like the Von Trapp children in the “Sound of Music” – responding to whistles and marching around in concentric circles. And something tells me Tracey wouldn’t really object. She just has that passive doe-eyed expression too often.