Can James Bond ever be a sensible married man? Wouldn’t it ruin those cheesy lines? What will he do to fill in those dull evenings when he’s away from the missus and no bad guys are near?

Whoops, I seem to have Bond’s glamorous life confused with Daniel Craig’s somewhat more prosaic one. He has a long term girlfriend, and reports from Britain indicate they may be engaged.

The British actor reportedly proposed to film producer Satsuki Mitchell during a romantic break in Italy.

Mitchell has been spotted wearing a huge ring on her wedding finger ever since the summer vacation.

It will be second time up the aisle for Craig who married British actress Fiona Louden with whom he has a child.

Their daughter Ella was born in 1992.

Female First

His fiancé may have some competition – when has Bond ever been known for his monogamy? – after Daniel confessed to being turned on by his co-star Nicole Kidman.

In an interview with W magazine, Craig says: “Nicole turns me on. Not in a sordid, horrible way — well, come to think of it!”

Herald Sun

Daniel is currently filming the next Bond instalment, which should be full of more bangs and fast cars. After all, he’s the greatest Bond of all time, or at least the one that pulls the most cash at the box office. If you ask my mum, she likes Pierce Brosnan, grandma likes Roger Moore, and I’m partial to Sean Connery. If only because of this fabulous quote, about his good looks winning him film roles. In the early 1960’s Sean told Ruth Park “I reckon I have about five more years work in my face.”

Well, we’re all wrong sometimes. It’s not always a bad thing.

Well, in this competition there was only one judge, but she had previously kissed Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp. Keira Knightly has declared James McAvoy the best kisser ever.

“James [McAvoy] is the best kisser ever!” a giggling Knightley, 22, said of her Atonement costar while sitting in romantic Venice.

People

Of course, she’s blurted this out right in front of James’ face. It wouldn’t exactly be diplomatic to say “He’s all tongue and sometimes my nose gets caught up in it, if I wasn’t being paid I’d have puked.” Actually, that would have been pretty hilarious, I wish she had.

Keira’s got a party trick, according to The Independent. She plays ‘Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head’ on her teeth. Please, please have this instead of Beyonce at next year’s Oscar’s.

Keira this week also had her say about Hollywood party girls.

“I’m not going to get blind drunk and then stumble out and fall over and puke up in front of people. I’m not saying I don’t do that in private, but I try not to,’ the Sun quoted her, as saying.

Calling her performance in ‘Atonement’ her best so far, Knightley said that being a celebrity is all about proving that one is shoddier than the other

“The whole celebrity thing is not magic. They’re real people proving they’re s******r than everybody else because they don’t even wear knickers,” she told Empire.

Times of India

I’ve been to London. It is very cold. You’ll catch your death if you go out late nights there with no panties.

Picture note by Celebitchy James McAvoy is shown at The Last King of Scotland premiere on 10/18/06. Keira Knightley is shown below at the Venice Film Festival this week.

Britney’s much-anticipated comeback, which got off to a limping start after her disappointing 10-15 minute lipsynch tour at various House(s) of Blues, might finally be underway. She is definitely going to open the Video Music Awards. An earlier plan had her doing a medley of her hits along with My Perogative, with big images on a screen behind her illustrating scenes from her tumultuous life that we’re all too familiar with. That’s not going to happen though, although she is supposed to be doing something else that’s “shocking,” and her new f’k buddy magician Criss Angel is said to have helped her with the act.

“She’s planning it to be a big comeback performance,” says a Spears insider, who adds that the goal is to make it “shocking.”

One early idea that was canned?

Performing “My Prerogative” amid a medley of hits, as images of exes Justin Timberlake, 26, and Kevin Federline, 29, and other gossip fodder flashed on a screen behind her.

As for a report that she’d do a duet with Timberlake?

“Totally, patently false,” says a Timberlake source.

[US Weekly]

And two intro segments from new songs reported to be by Britney have been leaked and are available on TMZ. They’re both pretty catchy and she seems to have some decent new material to perform on the VMAs.

In other related way too frequent Britney news, her monthly income was included in documents from a custody hearing with K-Fed and she makes almost 3/4 of a million each and every month.

With that kind of cash coming in, she could go anywhere and do just about anything. Instead she chooses to run around in the same old boots flashing her ass to the paps.

Is anyone really looking forward to Britney’s comeback? With that kind of production work, just about any cute young girl who has a good voice and can perform could be groomed into the next pop superstar. It’s time for some new blood in the business. Did you hear that Hayden Panettiere got a record deal? I guess she will do. Move over Britney, you’re old news.

Update: People Magazine reports that Britney’s new album will drop on October November 13th. You can hear the full version of her first single, Gimme More, on Z100’s website. It was released right after the clips were leaked online. Oh, and she’s supposed to be disappearing on stage several times at the VMAs.

Larry Birkhead had some kind of deal with OK! Magazine for photos and stories about his life with Dannielynn, the daughter of the late Anna Nicole Smith. OK! thinks he screwed them by letting US Weekly have the photos and story on Dannielynn’s first birthday and they’re pissed. After paying him $1.7 million and doing him a bunch of favors, they’re not about to let him get away without spreading some nasty gossip about him.

OK! editors claim to have some shocking news about Birkhead, implying that he made a deal with the guy who first claimed to be Anna Nicole’s baby daddy, Howard K Stern. Unless he’s thought to have plotted to kill Anna, I don’t see how it can be all that scandalous. Maybe they’re going to claim that they made a deal for the handover of the baby and that there was money involved:

The magazine’s publicist said: “OK! Magazine has uncovered explosive allegations regarding Larry Birkhead, Howard K. Stern and baby Danielynn, prompting the magazine to cancel our exclusive coverage of Danielynn’s first birthday party.”

“The newly obtained allegations are detailed, shocking and potentially incriminating. It makes it impossible for OK!, in good conscience, to promote this family’s highly questionable relationship in our pages.”

Both were locked in a paternity battle over the child before DNA tests claimed to prove Birkhead as the father following the death of Anna Nicole.

OK’s American editor Sarah Ivens said: “My biggest fear is that Larry and Howard may have tricked us all.”

[From the Daily Mail]

Larry says OK! forced his hand, though, by threatening him not to go to a rival glossy after he was on the cover of US with Dannielynn. He said that was bullshit:

Birkhead, who says he didn’t play ball with Us, wrote an email to OK! in which he said, “I was just threatened via email by (the reporter) that OK! would do a negative story on me if I did any stories with any other mags. Ridiculous!!! I am not sure what planet she’s on but I am not going to be threatened. She blew it!”

OK! thought they had a “four-part deal” with Birkhead, while Birkhead thought he had an agreement with them for just the first photos of his daughter once he was awarded custody.

Either way, whatever crap they’ve got on Larry Birkhead can’t really be trusted considering that they’ve got an axe to grind.

It really makes you lose faith in the integrity of the gossip industry when someone can smear the good name of a doting father like Larry Birkhead over a measly couple of million.

Boozing butta beauty Fergie was said to be super-pissed when she saw an autographed pink tennis ball that her live-in boyfriend, Josh Duhamel, got from Russian tennis star Maria Sharapova. Josh was blabbing about how great it was to meet Sharapova at the ESPYs and said he wanted to get a display case for the pink ball.

Fergie was so steamed she threw the thing out the door.

When “Las Vegas” hunk Josh Duhamel proudly showed live-in love Fergie an autographed girly pink tennis ball he’d been gifted by sexpot Russian champ Maria Sharapova his Pop Princess went postal! As Jush gushed on… and on… and on about meeting leggy blonde Sharapova at the ESPY Awards, he idly tossed his prize in the air and mused: “You know what? I think I’ll get a special box for it!” Fuming Fergie… exploded and snarled: “I’ve got a better idea!” Snatching LoverBoy’s ball in midair, she ran to the oyer of their LA home, yanked open the front door - and flung his pretty pink playthink as hard as she could.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker's column September 3, 2007]

I could see this being true. (I’m not saying it is, because I take everything in the Enquirer with a grain of salt. They do have some exclusives that turn out to be true, but crap little stories like this you can’t ever really verify.)

How would you feel if your boyfriend/husband/significant other went on amd on about meeting someone? I know Sharapova’s a famous athlete so if my husband was elated to meet her I wouldn’t be that threatened, but Duhamel is a minor celebrity and he could easily land her. That’s got to piss off the Ferg. Everyone wonders why Duhamel has stayed with her this long, at least, you know, bitter bloggers like me who have nothing better to do but sit behind our computers and talk shit about people.

Back in February, Josh and Fergie said they keep their relationship hot by taking romantic vacations together, staying out of the spotlight, and singing karaoke. at home. Yes, karaoke. Fergie praised Josh’s version of Total Eclipse of the Heart. Maybe it is love.

Here’s Fergie after getting her hair done recently. She looks a lot better with giant bug glasses on.

K-Fed has gone all “I’m a good dad, I’m going to show everyone you’re crazy” on us, and that’s okay as long as it’s true. But he’s super hardcore about punishing and humiliating Britney Spears legally. I guess that’s okay if there’s truth behind all the accusation flying about, and it’s not some massive blindfold put on us by his attack dog lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan. But not only does K-Fed want to serve all of Britney’s friends, employees, and business associates with Israeli-commando delivered subpoenas, but he wants Britney to pay for him to do it to her.

“Kevin Federline’s lawyer wants Britney Spears to pay some of her ex-husband’s legal expenses in their divorce case, court documents show.

“Attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan said in an Aug. 26 declaration that Federline has ‘no net income’ after various expenses, and that his spousal support of $20,000 a month ends in November. Spears, meanwhile, brings in an average monthly income of $737,868.

“Spears is ‘clearly the ‘monied party’ in the dispute and should pay $50,000 for Federline’s litigation expenses, Kaplan argued.

[From the Washington Post]

K-Fed should probably work on getting some of his own income, since his spousal support is ending in two months. I didn’t realize it would be so soon – and that definitely raises a small cloud of suspicion over his real motivations. This makes it sound like I’m on Britney’s team, which I’m not, but it is a super slap in the face if she’d have to pay for K-Fed’s lawyers that are working to legally humiliate her. Though she certainly manages to publicly humiliate herself all on her own.

K-Fed’s commandos FINALLY managed to find and serve Britney’s former manager, Larry Rudolph. Rudolph admitted that he was in hiding to avoid being served, and had been in New York City for quite a while. Apparently he must have some very damming testimony regarding Britney’s mental health of childcare skills if he flew to the other coast. Though he and Britney aren’t working together (and she’s blamed him for being forced into rehab, after which she fired him from his job as her manager … and fired her mom from her job as her mother) he supposedly doesn’t want to testify against her or do anything that would make life worse for her either.

“While Spears’ career Svengali told E! News anchor Ryan Seacrest earlier this week that he had spent the past few weeks on the run from Federline’s process server, his incognito skills are either sorely lacking, or he gave up the game, finally getting slapped with the paperwork at the West Los Angeles branch of the Sunset Tan tanning salon Thursday morning.

“Over the weekend, Rudolph expressed his reticence at testifying in the case to Seacrest, saying he wished to remain loyal to the tabloid trainwreck despite his rocky professional relationship with the singer, with whom he has twice parted ways. He told Seacrest that, should he be made to testify, it “won’t be good for Britney.”

“In a statement issued to That Other Blog later in the week, Rudolph said he didn’t take personally some of Spears’ comments directed at him in the media, namely that forcing her into rehab was Rudolph’s brainchild, saying, “I understand where she’s coming from.”

“Rudolph also said that despite her recent, and intense, downward spiral in the public eye, ;my loyalty will always stay strong with Britney…I do understand that eventually the time will come when they will find me, but until then, I’m trying to avoid being brought into this mess.’”

[From E! News]

Larry Rudolph is a pretty nice guy for staying loyal to Britney, and deserves her speaking better about him. What’s ultimately best for Sean Preston and Jayden James is the truth, no matter what. If Rudolph does have some particularly damming evidence, it should come out.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Larry Rudolph with Brit in February in NYC. Header image of K-fed in Times Square earning his bling promoting Virgin Mobile. Images thanks to PR Photos.

David Schwimmer has been in the UK on and off for the last year or doing a play and directing a movie. Though he seems very fond of the England, he’s not so big on the food.

“David Schwimmer was disgusted by British food during his recent stay in the country. The former Friends star criticized the nation’s cuisine after spending time in the country for his role in West End production Some Girl(s) in 2005 and directing his latest movie Run, Fat Boy, Run in London earlier this year.

“He says, ‘You guys deep-fry everything. Even healthy British food like Shepherd’s Pie makes you put on 20 pounds after every meal.’’

[From Starpulse]

I know I’m going to get yelled at, but I’m going to have to agree. When I was last in the UK I was traveling around on a student’s budget, so there wasn’t really much of an opportunity for fine dining, so my experience was obviously limited. But I’ve never experienced such consistently heavy, potato-based food in my life. Starches on top of starches. Why would someone want pasta with a side of potatoes? I haven’t eaten a baked potato since. Schwimmer also stated his love of the country - specifically his love of the British ladies.

“David Schwimmer has said that he is more then willing to put his career on hold for love.

“He tells Britain’s Cosmopolitan magazine that ‘I look at someone like Courteney Cox and see how happy she is, but I’ve always put work first and now I have no wife and no family. My mom would love to see me settled, as she thinks it will make my life complete.’

“He said American girls need not apply!

“David said that he is looking for a wife in London. David went on to say that ‘I do like British girls especially their sense of humour.’

[From Product Reviews]

Let’s hope Schwimmer’s not so old-fashioned that he expects his wife to cook for him, or it’ll be a lifetime of blood sausage and jacket potatoes. I can’t imagine any girl being attracted to him for him – he just seems so Ross Gellar. I’d forever be handing him dinosaur bones (I’d have to pick some up first) in an attempt to make him happy.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s David (not exactly trying to distance himself from the Ross Gellar look) at the Annual Drama League Awards Ceremony. Header image of David at the RSVP to Help Benefit for Habitat for Humanity benefit in January. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Us Weekly is reporting that Usher and Tameka Foster will have a real, proper, old school wedding this weekend in Atlanta – though as they rightly point out, with these two, you can never be sure. The first – a lavish Hamptons affair - wedding didn’t go so well. Though it still remains unclear, rumors swirled that Usher backed out at the last minute (literally hours before the wedding) and then Tameka reeled him back in/threatened to chop off his balls and eat them for dinner (both equally likely) and the couple blamed pregnancy complications for the postponement. Usher’s mom supposedly hates Tameka (perhaps because of the internet rumors that she’s actually a man, though I think she just has unfortunate jaw structure) and that played a big part in his doubts. They got married a week later at the office of Usher’s lawyer. Sensing that wasn’t the most romantic option, the two are having a “do-over” of sorts.

“After getting hitched in a secret civil ceremony earlier this month, R&B superstar Usher and his new wife Tameka Foster are holding a big bash this weekend for those who missed out.

“Mr. & Mrs. Usher Raymond are planning an official wedding ceremony in Atlanta, according to Us Weekly magazine.

“The two lovebirds were initially going to exchange vows in a star-studded wedding at music mogul Antonio “L.A.” Reid’s Hamptons home on July 28. However, the 28-year-old singer and 37-year-old stylist canceled it at the last minute, and decided to have a civil wedding days later in his lawyer’s Atlanta office.

“There’s no word yet on if Usher’s mom and former manager Jonetta Patton will be attending the celeb-filled celebration. She preferred to spend the day at the spa than witness her famous son marry Foster the first time.”

[From kget.com]

I’m sorta surprised this thing hasn’t been annulled already. I don’t like sounding like some old lady but it seems pretty clear Tameka Foster has her hooks in Usher and is clinging tight. Or maybe it’s just because the whole internet seems to hate her, and it’s hard to find a single good picture of her. Hip-hop blog SOHH.com really has a love/ hate/disgust relationship with Foster that’s kind of funny.

“But with all the Tameka “tranny” rumors swirling the Internet I decided to investigate these accusations further… and though I tried I don’t think I can defend her. I searched the internet to try to find at least one feminine shot of Tameka looking like a woman with no trannyesque traits, but alas I was unsuccessful. I know they say love is blind, but I say love can also be blinding.

“It is my opinion that Maneka has some serious dirt on Usher that has forced his hand to claim her as his life long chick. Usher was considered to be one of the world’s most eligible bachelors. He could of, and still can, have any chick in the game – so why someone so many years his senior? Is the world hatin’ or does she resemble your local gay club mascot?”

[From SOHH.com]

I don’t think she looks THAT much like a man. If I didn’t know her and saw her in person, I’m guessing my evaluation would depend entirely on her voice, so it could really go either way. She’s definitely gotten the reputation of a gold-digging, domineering crazy lady. It’d be really sad if that’s not the case, and she just got that reputation from outsiders looking in. So let’s hope it’s the case and she’s totally crazy – so we have years of good drama ahead of us.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s David Usher and Tameka at the opening of Jermaine Dupri’s new club Studio 72 outside of Atlanta. Images thanks to Bossip.

Though he injured his… ankle/knee/something below the thigh (I don’t really follow the sports) David Beckham won’t let that get in the way of loving the Posh bones. This morning he confirmed to Ryan Seacrest that the pair would like at least one or two more children, and they’re not letting David’s injury get in the way of another fat-free Posh pregnancy.

“David Beckham may have disappointed fans now that he is out for the season with an injury but his ‘Posh’ sex life with wife Victoria Beckham will continue. He told Ryan Seacrest that the couple wants more kids and that will mean practice, practice, practice. He said, ‘When we first met, we never even spoke about how many kids we wanted. It was just lucky that we both actually wanted around the same number. We both want four or five kids…we’re very family oriented.’

[From the National Ledger]

I’d be family oriented too if I were married to David Beckham. He also told Seacrest a little about adjusting to life in America, and said that for the most part, he and Posh love it.

“Us Weekly magazine has the interview excerpted online. Becks says on life in the U.S.: ‘We’re enjoying it. It’s a country that has sort of embraced us…everyone has been so positive, about not just me as a soccer player, but Victoria as a person…When she does a TV program or a radio program, people actually see what she’s like as a person and see that she’s got a great sense of humor…people really warm to her.’

“In the interview this morning on Seacrest’s L.A. radio show, Becks, 32, says that despite the honor of being admired by women the world over, it’s coming home to Posh, 33, and sons Brooklyn, 8, Romeo, 5, and Cruz, 2, that makes him happy.

“He added on the paparazzi: ‘It’s been pretty intense since we arrived…more than what we are used to. We’re used to being followed by four or five cars maybe, but to have forty seven cars in the first week, every day, following us, it was pretty insane.’”

[From the National Ledger]

That is pretty insane. As people that just look at the pictures, it’s hard to tell how much paparazzi there really are. Is it one lucky photographer, a huddle of 20, or fifty cars following you down the street? I can’t imagine living life under that kind of scrutiny. It would make everything you did feel kind of inauthentic, to have it all snapped by a bunch of strangers. It’d feel like you were always performing or something. Though for the insane money he makes, I think I’d handle it somehow. Probably by paying someone to go around and deflate the air from the all the paparazzi’s cars.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s David at his David Beckham Youth Soccer Clinic - August 17, 2007. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Those wacky Scientologists are so funny. One of their mouthpieces, Kelly Preston, is telling Starpulse that she knew she’d marry John Travolta after she saw a picture of him on a “Grease” poster. She didn’t exactly end up with Travolta right away – she was engaged to Charlie Sheen but broke up with him after he accidentally shot her in the arm, and was married to actor Kevin Gage from 1986 – 1988.

“Actress Kelly Preston knew she was destined to marry John Travolta after she saw her future husband on a poster for Grease as a teenage girl. The 44-year-old Twins star, who has been married to Travolta for 16 years, was leaving a cinema in the late 1970s when she was struck by the actor’s poster look.

“She says, ‘I did have sort of a flash. I came out of a film, saw the poster for Grease and I knew I’d be with him. I just knew. I was about 16 years old. I really knew it and it turned into, ‘I’m going to marry that man,’ and so he likes to tease me that I walked out and said, ‘I’m going to marry that man,’ and then did, ultimately.’”

[From Starpulse]

Talk about the power of positive thought. I had a dream last night that I fell in love with Luke Wilson, and it was kind of flash-like, so I’m pretty sure I’m going to marry him now, based on the Kelly Preston theory of love. Travolta has recently stated that he and Kelly are going to try to have another child when they’re done filming their movie.

John Travolta and Kelly Preston are planning to extend their family - before it’s too late.

The couple are currently working on new movie Old Dogs, which they both star in. When that’s wrapped the pair will start trying for a sibling for son Jett, 15, and eight year old daughter Ella.

Travolta, 53, says, “Once we finish our new movie, we’re going to get cracking. Kelly is 44 now. The window for us to have a child, at least naturally, is closing.”

[From China Daily]

I hope he meant to say another child, not a child, since they already have two – though by most accounts, they mostly ignore their oldest child, Jett, who has autism. Apparently Scientology and autism don’t mix – our original article noted, “Autistics in Scientology are usually known as ‘degraded beings’ who brought the affliction on themselves. Kelly Preston has gone as far as saying in the past that Jett suffers from Kawasaki Syndrome like disease because of ‘environmental toxins’, with Jett reacting badly specifically to carpet cleaning chemicals.” But apparently Preston is an expert on how to treat other disorders – specifically addiction. She has opened a Scientology-based rehab facility in her native Hawaii.

“John Travolta’s wife Kelly Preston has opened a new Scientology rehab center on her native Hawaii. The new drug rehabilitation clinic, which follows the principals of Preston’s religion, will use tried and tested alternative methods to ween addicts off painkillers and hard drugs.

“Preston, who was born on and brought up in Honolulu, Oahu, says, ‘I’m convinced this rehab center works.’”

[From Starpulse]

Well thank goodness we have Kelly Preston around to teach us all how to live better by denying out basic psychological makeup.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Kelly and John at the “Death Sentence” New York City Movie Premiere on August 28th. Images thanks to PR Photos.