Angelina Jolie’s avatar appears naked in the Beowulf trailer, an upcoming CGI fantasy based on the anonymous epic poem dated at around 700-750 AD.

It’s not really Angelina of course, it’s a team of computer artist’s vision of the hottest version of Angelina. Obviously she’s significantly curvier than in real life, where she’s been looking positively skeletal lately. She’s just not as hot now as in her Tomb Raider days, but we can still fantasize through the help of computer animation. Fully naked Angelina is about 14 seconds before the end of this clip. (It counts backwards.)

It seems like this nude scene will not appear in the actual movie on screen, but should be available on the DVD:

More good news before I let you see the trailer: apparently, the two screenwriters had to go through a lot of pain and effort to render the story so as to get a PG-13 rating from the ever careful and watching MPAA. Therefore, most of the nude and blood-filled scenes have been stylized to the maximum or even completely cut out. However, Gaiman is in for an uncensored and unrated version of the movie, which will probably be made after the release (meaning, it depends on the way ‘Beowulf’ scores at the box-office) and only after every member of the team is also OK with it. Join me in prayers.

[News.Softpedia.com]

Beowulf out on November 16 in the US and is expected to be a big hit. The Softpedia article says it’s an “inspired combination of ‘Lord of the Rings’ and ‘300′.”

Thanks to Faded Youth via ONTD for the trailer and photo of Angelina’s nude avatar.

- Britney is going to open the VMAs for sure. [DListed]
- Halle Berry working her baby bump [Bossip]
- The 11th Hour could be a bit more subtle [Pajiba]
- Maddox Jolie-Pitt goes to school [Celebslam]
- Jessica Simpson took over a patio at a party [yeeeah]
- Madonna with a granny sweater on [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Hot or Not: Robin Tunney [Bastardly]
- Hilary Swank at the 25th anniversary of Calvin Klein underwear party [ICYDK]
- Hilary Duff performing in Montreal [Drunken Stepfather]
- Kate Moss’ New Man isn’t a Looker [Hollywood Rag]
- WTF is Sharon Stone wearing? [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
- Gratuitous Insincere Tom Cruise Photo Of The Day [Agent Bedhead]
- Mary Kate Olsen doesn’t smile on purpose because she hates the paparazzi [The Blemish]
- Johnny Depp In Venice [CityRag]
- Celebrities at the Miss Sixty fashion show including Mischa Barton, Demi Moore, Clive Owen and Maggie Gyllenhaal [PopSugar]
- Jessica Simpson still needs a stylist [The Grumpiest]
- Debbie Harry was turned down for Playboy when she was young for being too skinny [CelebNewsWire]
- iPhone is now $200 cheaper [Evil Beet]
- Ludacris is giving out 50 18-karat gold specially engraved rings as invitations to his 30th birthday party [Gabsmash]
- Jenna Fischer and her husband split up [CelebWarship]
- Meagan Good in a see through top [IDLYITW]
- Shia LaBeouf smoking a cigarette [Glitterati]
- Helena Bonham Carter pregnant and fug as usual [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
- Kim Porter said she had to sneak out of the house when she left Diddy [Rhymes with Snitch]
- Now the tabs are talking about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie making up, as if all that shit about them breaking up were true. [popbytes]
- The new View member is comedianne Sherri Shepard [Socialite's Life]
- Nicole Richie at fashion week [Just Jared]
- Walter Cronkite might be back on TV at the age of 89. [Lifeline Live]
- Senator Craig once called Bill Clinton a “Naughty, Nasty Boy” I bet he was thinking all about that. [Best Week Ever]

RJ Matson, The St. Louis Post Dispatch, caglecartoons.com

David Beckham is saying he’ll only be out of the game - soccer - with an injury for 6 weeks, some punters are suggesting he’ll be out for the whole season. A season he was paid $6.5 million for. Which, for soccer commentators doing the math, works out to $21,000 a minute for what he’s played so far, 310 minutes.

David has said he needs to rest and allow it to heal properly, “get it right and don’t come back until it’s right,” which is probably very sensible. Not being much of a soccer follower, I’m surprised Galaxy signed him for a reported five years, since by your early 30s (David is 32) aren’t most players getting close to retirement? Or does this more apply to other, rougher kinds of football?

It’s been a hard week for David Beckham, his former Manchester United manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, who has for the first time come out and commented on his show business lifestyle.

“He [Beckham] was never a problem until he got married,” the 65-year-old said at “An Audience with Sir Alex Ferguson” at the Citizens Theatre. “He used to go into work with the academy coaches at nighttime. He was a fantastic young lad. Getting married into that entertainment scene was a difficult thing. From that moment his life was never going to be the same. He is such a big celebrity, football is only a small part. The big part is his persona.”

Times Online

Then Sir Bobby Charlrton, the former Manchester United who discovered Becks at his soccer school, added this.

“I think Victoria’s lifestyle affected his game,” said Charlton. “He was a really great footballer and had a terrific talent, but everyone is different and his lifestyle has gone in a different direction.

“When I first saw him, he wanted to be a footballer more than anyone I have ever seen. I wonder sometimes if he thinks what has happened. I would rather he was still playing in England, but he is in America now. He is committed to being there and will earn millions of pounds, so good luck to him.”

Scotsman.com

Posh and Becks have a chance at a big prize this week, nominated by readers of lad’s mag Loaded, for World’s Best Comedy Duo. Editor Martin Daubney suggests it’s “Victoria’s growing comedy chest or her attempts to integrate into American culture by pitching at baseball matches” that has led them to be nominated.

Not laughing at the whole Posh and Becks overseas move fiasco – Galaxy’s accountant.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Beckham is shown on 8/30 at the game where he injured himself. Pictures thanks to Splash News.

Gordon Ramsey, famous for using bad language on his restaurant kitchen reality show Hell’s Kitchen, actually has a reason for his potty-mouth today – he’s burned his testicle.

“The other day I was standing to close to the hob when I was cooking. I was wearing cotton trousers and underneath I was going commando. Then suddenly I felt this searing heat - my balls were burning,” Ramsay told The Sun.

Ramsay admitted that he was in “absolute agony” after the accident last week.

AHN

Through pants? You were seared through your pants? Do not share this with my husband or he’ll never go near the stove again, commando or not.

Ramsey’s not the first celebrity chef to burn his bits – the by far more charming and attractive celebrity chef Jamie Oliver burnt his private parts cooking in the nude for his wife Jules on Valentine’s Day. I’m no anatomy expert, but I imagine these kinds of burns put a stopper on other Valentine’s Day plans too!

Jamie later treated his wife to a weekend in Paris to make up for the ruined evening. Gordon Ramsey just swore a lot.

Gordon Ramsey picture from The Wreckoning. Jamie Oliver picture from Ananova.

Paul McCartney is one of England’s most eligible bachelors, and just about anyone could have a crush on him. So perhaps it shouldn’t be a surprise that Renee Zellweger has a crush on the newly single Beatle.

Renee, 38, said: “I do have a big crush on Paul McCartney. I feel quite embarrassed saying it because I haven’t even told him yet.

“I’ve told my friends and I think they might have told him. Well I guess if he doesn’t know he will find out now.”

The Sun

Unfortunately for Renee, Paul denied the recent reports the two are dating, saying, “We’re not dating. We’re in the same group of friends and that’s it.”

We’ve all heard the ‘just good friends’ line a few times, maybe there will be no official announcement of romance until, say, Paul is actually divorced from his previous wife Heather Mills!

Of course, Paul is hot property, and even though he’s almost twice Renee’s age, she’s not without competition. Australian papers are trying to link Paul with supermodel Elle Macpherson, after they were photographed together at the GQ Man of the Year Awards.

At the Man of the Year event, where Paul was the Man of the Year, he was also photographed flirting with Natalie Imbruglia, an Australian pop star. She’s probably not linked to the Beatle as she’s married to equally attractive Australian rock star Daniel Johns. No one wants Aussie pop royalty to split up, we’re still grieving the loss of Tom Cruise as Australia’s favourite son-in-law.

Anyway, even at 65, I’m beginning to suspect that Macca may have plenty of women on hand to help him recover from his divorce.

Vanessa Anne Hudgens is all too ready to admit that the nude pic that we published yesterday is the real deal. She released a bland statement via her publicist acknowledging the picture and saying it was a private photo. She never said that it wasn’t meant to get out, just that it was “unfortunate” that it did:

The Disney sweetheart’s rep tells Us, “This was a photo which was taken privately. It is a personal matter and it is unfortunate that this has become public.”

[From US Weekly]

I had barely heard of the girl before this incident, and most of you mentioned the same in the comments. A tastefully posed nude pic should be just the thing to launch her film career after High School Musical peaked, at least that’s probably what her publicist is hoping.

Maybe she wasn’t getting enough mileage out of that high profile relationship with her costar, Zac Efron, and decided to kick it up a notch. Bikini and posed makeout pictures only go so far.

Hudgens is shown on 7/10/07 at the LA premiere of Hairspray, thanks to PRPhotos.

Photoshop composite from PlanetHiltron.com

After three years and countless public letters begging his daughter to turn her life over to the Lord and give him a chance, Michael Lohan has finally visited his daughter Lindsay. After talking a lot of public smack about Lindsay’s mom and her boyfriend, ex-con Michael was given a chance at a supervised visit with his troubled daughter. He was seen yesterday at the Utah rehab where she is receiving treatment for a drug addiction exacerbated by an overinflated sense of self importance:

Lindsay’s dad flew to Utah last night and is currently visiting Lindsay at the Cirque Lodge treatment center, sources close to Lindsay and Michael confirmed to Access Hollywood.

Michael, who served nearly two years in New York State Prison for driving while intoxicated and other charges, has publicly yearned to reunite with Lindsay since his release in March. She has not seen her father since before he went to prison, sources told Access.

Lindsay checked into Cirque Lodge on August 3.

She has been visited by mom Dina and her siblings Cody and Ali, but this marks the first visit from her father.

[From Access Hollywood]

X17 has the pics of the awkward reunion, and says that Michael went to therapy with Lindsay once inside the Cirque Rehab Center where she is staying.

Never one to pass up an opportunity to give a statement proving what an arrogant person and shit mom she is, Dina Lohan has told 24/Sizzler that she condones the visit from Lindsay’s father. She predictably aims a few barbs at Michael, saying the visit will help Lindsay “come to terms with [her Dad's] abusive behavior”

“I’m so glad he’s visiting her,” Dina told 24Sizzler.com, at the precise moment Michael was visiting Lindsay (Michael is outfitted with a tracking device so he doesn’t violate his parole). “I really wanted her to have closure a really long time ago, so she could come to terms with the abusive behavior that myself and my children [Lindsay, Michael Jr., Dakota and Ali] endured when they were younger.”

Dina adds that Lindsay, who hasn’t seen her dad in several years, was “extremely nervous” about seeing Michael.

[From 24Sizzler.com]

Lohan’s mom also denies that her daughter had a romance in rehab, saying “That never happened. Cirque is so strict compared to everywhere else.”

And in case you were grateful for the relative lack of Lohan news, she is set to get out of rehab in ten days. I’m sure she’ll be a totally changed woman and wait at least a week before she’s out at the clubs again, right?

This visit wasn’t about Lindsay’s mental health or a chance to reunite with her father, it was about keeping the Lohans in the press this week, and it worked. I wonder how much Lohan charged X17 for those exclusive reunion pics? At least they look authentic because they’re far away and sort of blurry.

Some more photos have come out of this formerly virtually unknown chick, Vanessa Anne Hudgens, from the same series as her now sort-of famous nude pic. They’re higher res and feature her in some more seductive poses in her skivvies in the bedroom. These are sort of safe for work because the naughty bits are covered.

Commentors on ONTD, where we found these pics, say her publicist is dumb and that he should have issued a more strongly-worded statement. As it is, it sounds like she’s practically admitting it.

This might also be a ploy to get this chick out of her contract with Disney to do more High School Musical shows. She should have put these out last week because it was a much slower gossip week.

I didn’t find these until after the earlier post where she admitted the photos were real was published or I would have added them to that one.

Update: Photos removed by legal request

Mischa Barton and Paris Hilton had a very public spat last year, with Mischa saying that Paris “seems to hate everyone around her age who is more successful. Silly bitch - she does steal people’s boyfriends.” Paris retorted saying she “didn’t even know” Mischa and that “she is the one who is trying to stir up a rivalry. I have never said a word about her… but she seems to be spending a lot of time thinking about me.”

In return, Paris’ mouthpiece, Elliot Mintz said that “a lot of celebrities are using Paris’ name so they can get some ink and Mischa seems to be one of them.”

Mischa then dismissed the stealing boyfriends remark, said it was a joke and said “Paris isn’t my rival. I met her one or two times and she’s making out there’s this big rivalry between us and there so isn’t.” [Details from People.com]

Mischa’s then-boyfriend brought it home by saying “Has Paris nothing better to do? At least Misch has a job - she’s a respected actress.”

So these two haven’t had much love for each other since February, 2006 when it all started. Paris wants to mend fences with Mischa now and recently reached out to her, bitching about how all her other girlfriends suck, but Mischa wasn’t having it:

Paris Hilton - playing her “New Paris” role to the hilt - phoned ex-BFF Mischa Barton, cooing about mending their prickly relationship - and gushing that of all her frenemies, she missed the ex-”O.C.” star the most! Said a source: “Paris then went into a rant about the mess Nichole Richie’s made of her life, how Britney Spears snubbed her - and that Lindsay Lohan’s white trash and destined to be dead soon.” Soured by Paris’s poison tongue, Mischa blew off an invite for a just-us-girlies-get-together… and hung up abruptly. Just days later… you guess it!… Mischa heard Paris was slamming her as “a jealous witch!” Mee-Ow!

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker's column, September 10, 2007]

Of all the young Hollywood crowd, Mischa seems to have her life most together, and that’s smart of her not to fall for Paris’ bullshit. Maybe she should have put up with Paris for a little while though if only to get some much-needed fashion advice. The poor girl is gorgeous but she looks like total shit most of the time due to her poor outfit choices. For everything you can say about Paris, she looks well put together and works it. Being a good person and looking good require completely different skillsets.

Paris Hilton is shown on 9/1 at the Play For Good Foundation Gala in Mallorca, Spain. Mischa Barton is shown on 8/6 at the Paper Magazine party for Rihanna in NY. Thanks to PRPhotos.

The things you learn as a gossip blogger are usually completely worthless with a high amusement and shock factor. In this case, there’s nothing amusing about little animals turned into junkies by their abusive owners, but it’s still something that wouldn’t occur to me on my own.

Pete Doherty’s cat was said to be found with cocaine in its system after he brought it to a veterinarian a few weeks ago acting strangely. Tox screens on the cat came up positive for cocaine. I wasn’t really sure of the validity of that story as it sounded kind of out there, even for Doherty.

Now The Sun has a picture of a wee kitty taking a hit off what’s said to be a specially made crack pipe from a tiny bottle. Supposedly this picture is of Pete Doherty, but his face is not visible.

The story that accompanies it about how f’ed up the poor cat is as a result is just sad:

JUNKIE Pete Doherty is snapped appearing to give his kitten crack — from a mini-pipe he made specially for it.

Sickened pals who leaked the picture claimed the warped rocker regularly gets the pet smashed.

They said it PASSES OUT with its paws in the air, suffers MOOD SWINGS and even thinks it can FLY.

One added: “In Pete’s mind it is the only one who understands him now.”

The Babyshambles frontman’s cat Dinger — named after a slang term for a syringe — had five kittens in April.

The friend said: “One in particular has borne the brunt of his drug abuse. Pete thinks it’s hilarious to get it wasted.

“He even made a special mini-crack pipe out of a bottle so it can get the maximum hit.

“But the kitten is starting to get really bad withdrawal symptoms.

“It has lost some of its balance and takes huge risks jumping over things that are too high. It thinks it can fly. It’s really distressing to see.”

[From The Sun]

If I doubted that “cat on cocaine” story on Pete before, I don’t now.

The thing that is news to me is the secondary story in this article about how squirrels are supposedly getting high from crack rocks that are hidden in public parks. This sounds like an urban legend:

DOHERTY’S kitten is not the first animal with addiction problems. In 2005 The Sun told how squirrels in Brixton, South London, became hooked on crack cocaine hidden by addicts in gardens.

Residents said the tufties had bloodshot eyes and were “digging desperately” in flower-beds.

In the US, crack squirrels are a recognised problem in New York and Washington DC parks.

[From The Sun]

I sincerely doubt this is true, because if it is it’s too much like a scene out of cartoon. There’s nothing on snopes that I could find about these supposed crack squirrels, but there is a forum on urbanlegends on about.com discussing whether it seems likely.

Here’s the article from The Sun on crack squirrels. Disappointingly, there’s no video. The Guardian investigated this crack squirrel phenomenon and found only rumors and no hard evidence.

Maybe if squirrels were tame like pets they could really be turned into hardcore addicts like Pete Doherty’s poor kitty. How fucked up do you have to be to subject a defenseless animal to your addictions?

The RSPCA said they can’t do much about the picture, because “there needs to be more evidence.”