- Eva Longoria Sex Tape - Funny Or Die Video. I’m impressed with how fast they were able to whip this up. [Bastardly]
- Britney Spears’ “cousin” Alli Sims is just using her [DListed]
- Britney Spears’ attorney says she lost custody because she didn’t take the drug test [CelebWarship]
- Gabrielle Union and Derek Jeter Dating Again? [Bossip]
- Eight films that shouldn’t have won best picture [Pajiba]
- America Ferrera is looking hot [Celebslam]
- Kate Moss and Pete Doherty Had “Mind-Blowing” Sex [yeeeah]
- Naomi Watts In Funny Games [I’m Not Obsessed]
- Nicole Richie and Joel Madden not getting married until after the baby arrives. [ICYDK]
- Brooke Burns Bikini Pictures [Drunken Stepfather]
- Pink Gives Hubby Lapdance [Hollywood Rag]
- Pink And Carey Motorcycle Date [Glitterati]
- Demi Moore is going gray! [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
- Johnny Lydon hates Sting [Agent Bedhead]
- Britney Spears after learning she lost custody [The Blemish]
- Jennifer Aniston sucks it in [CityRag]
- Milo Ventimiglia In Best Life Magazine [Crazy Days and Nights]
- Brad Pitt or George Clooney? I’m hungry for a sandwich. [PopSugar]
- Kimberley Walsh Bikini Pictures [The Grumpiest]
- Barack Obama’s 9-year-old daughter hates Paris Hilton [Evil Beet]
- Ashton Kutcher on set with Cameron Diaz [Gabsmash]
- Vanessa Hudgens Plays with some Balls [Derek Hail]
- It’s A Boy For Anthony Kiedis & Heather Christie! [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
- America Ferrera Tells Starlets to Get a Haircut and Get a Real Job [Socialite’s Life]
- Leonardo DiCaprio on the set of Body of Lies [Just Jared]
- Clay Aiken looking a little chub [Lifeline Live]

I don’t exactly consider Sylvester Stallone to be the epitome of tact and grace, but he actually has some interesting and thoughtful things to say about the atrocities in Myanmar right now – where he’s spent several months filming the latest installment in the “Rambo” series.

“Sylvester Stallone says he and his Rambo sequel movie crew recently witnessed the human toll of unspeakable atrocities while filming along the Myanmar border. ‘I witnessed the aftermath — survivors with legs cut off and all kinds of land-mine injuries, maggot-infested wounds and ears cut off,’ Stallone told The Associated Press in a phone interview Monday. ‘We hear about Vietnam and Cambodia and this was more horrific.’

“The 61-year-old actor-director returned to the U.S. eight days ago from shooting John Rambo, the fourth movie in the action series, on the Salween River separating Thailand and Myanmar, formerly known as Burma. Stallone said he was in Thailand for six months, most of it along or on the river. ‘This is a hellhole beyond your wildest dreams,’ Stallone said. ‘All the trails are mined. The only way into Burma is up the river.’”

[From USA Today]

I wonder why they chose to film in Myanmar given that it’s such a hotbed of danger right now? I know the guy is an action and adrenaline junkie, but it seems like he has a decent appreciation for how dangerous the place is right now. I don’t know the Rambo movies at all, so maybe it’s integral to the script – though my general impression is that they’re not exactly super plot-based. Even if he wanted to set the movie in Myanmar, he could still have chosen to film it somewhere else.

“Stallone also claimed watching refuges fleeing from Myanmar to Thailand during his stay at the location. Actor-director Sylvester Stallone has revealed that he received a series of death threats while filming upcoming sequel John Rambo along the troubled Thailand-Myanmar border. The 61-year-old star said that his crew was filming on the Salween River when they were warned that they would be shot if they did not leave the place immediately.

“‘We were on the Salween River and we were told to get out because we were going to be shot,’ Contactmusic quoted him as telling American TV show Entertainment Tonight . Stallone also claimed watching refuges fleeing from Myanmar to Thailand during his stay at the location. ‘It’s the most brutal regime in the world and the most secretive. It has an oppressive regime that (keeps all riches) for themselves. Everyone is forced into drugs or prostitution or slavery,’ he said.”

[From the Times of India]

Why I don’t quite understand why he’d chose to film there and endanger his life and the lives of his cast and crew, I’ve got to give the guy props for speaking out about what’s going on in Myanmar. Some decent celebrities have shown that they can bring a lot of much-needed attention, even political attention, to otherwise ignored causes. Had most of us heard about Darfur, until a bunch of big names threw their weight behind the “Save Darfur” campaign? Hopefully the situation will change on it’s own, but I appreciate a celebrity (if you still want to call Sly Stallone a celebrity… hey we’re bitchy here, I had to get that in) throwing their weight behind something good.

I’ve never been pregnant, so I don’t totally understand all the hormones that go into it – but I was kinda surprised to hear Halle Berry tell Oprah that she already wants another baby. You haven’t even popped the first one out girl! You’re three months pregnant, aren’t you still throwing up and craving tacos? I’m so confused. I had a friend who’s pregnancy mantra was something about wanting to “evict her little passenger” – and I gotta tell you, that makes a lot of sense to me. I understand wanting more eventually – but Halle must really be overdosing on the oxytocin if she’s already ramping up for more pregnancy.

“Halle Berry says she and her boyfriend, Gabriel Aubry, tried and tried and tried to get pregnant. ‘So there was a lot of staying home and doing what you do. Like, all the time, around the clock,’ the 41-year-old Oscar-winning actress said Tuesday on ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show.’ One negative pregnancy test followed another, ‘and finally, after about 35 tests, we finally got a positive test,’ Berry told Winfrey in one of her first interviews since announcing last month that she was expecting her first child with Aubry, her boyfriend of two years.

“Berry, who is about three months pregnant, told Winfrey she doesn’t want to know the sex of the baby. ‘There’s so few genuine surprises in life anymore that, why not have a huge surprise?’ she said. ;And I like fantasizing one day it’s a girl, one day it’s a boy.’ Berry won the best-actress Oscar for 2001’s ‘Monster’s Ball.’ She also won an Emmy and a Golden Globe for 1999’s ‘Introducing Dorothy Dandridge.’”

[From the Washington Post]

And how does Berry know all about being a mom? From acting. I’m not sure that’s the greatest indication of motherhood, but then again if never been an actress or a mother, so what the hell do I know.

“She said playing a mother in her latest movie, ‘Things We Lost in the Fire,’ helped convince her that motherhood was for her. ‘I think it validated that I was meant to be a mother because every day I dealt with the character as a mother and thinking as a mother,’ Berry said. ‘It let me know that I must be a mother.’”

[From the Washington Post]

Again, I’m not a mother, but something tells me it may be a little different when no one calls “cut” and someone from craft services doesn’t come over and offer Halle a plate of pickles, mustard, and Cheetos. [That joke was funny because women crave weird things when they’re pregnant. Alright that joke wasn’t funny]. Halle says she and boyfriend Gabriel Aubry don’t have any plans to marry. She seems a little jaded after her last two crappy marriages, not that I blame her.

“Berry said she and Aubry don’t plan to marry, but feel fully committed to each other. ‘I feel more married, in a way, than I ever have in two marriages before,’ she said. ‘He really understands the spiritual connection is so much more important than the paper and the pomp and circumstance and the ceremony.’ But Berry said there is something she and Aubry are sure to do: try to have another child. ‘There’s just one right now,’ she said. ‘But we’re hoping, right after this one, to do it again.’”

[From the Washington Post]

Well if absolutely nothing else, they will have shockingly gorgeous children. Shiloh and Suri need to look the hell out, because I’m pretty sure the Berry-Aubry baby will be in a league all its own. Stupid cute babies, making me want them. Damn it, there will be no more baby posts after this one.

Picture Note by Jaybird: Here’s Halle Berry in L.A. on August 22. Images thanks to WENN.

Russell Crowe must have undertaken years of therapy to come to this conclusion – he acts out at people because he has low self esteem. Really? It’s not just because you are a bad tempered Aussie?

“I think I’ve got better over the years with just being OK with all that. Any negativity I had with it stems from self-worth issues. “I don’t rate myself or consider myself to be worthy of that sort of thing. So when people approach me my reaction is sometimes negative. But I’m a lot calmer with it now.” The Gladiator star, who was convicted of second degree assault for throwing a telephone at a hotel concierge in June 2005, adds, “(The public) don’t see the crusty reality. They see some sort of sparkling version, and that’s what they want to have contact with. I’m a lot easier about all that sort of stuff now.”

Contact Music

Rusty doesn’t just need to blame his low self-esteem - it seems he’s a genetic throwback as well.

Journalists with the British Broadcasting Corporation have tracked the Australian actor’s roots to Kelowna, B.C. with smashing results.

Crowe’s great grandparents, William and Kezia Crowe are buried in the Okanagan city after moving there in 1947 to run a local auction house.

Stories about William Crowe suggest he would smash crockery if he could not obtain a desired auction bid.

The Canadian Press

Genetics are a powerful thing.

I can see why Russel Crowe would be a happy man nowadays – he is married to gorgeous Dannielle Spencer, has two cute kids, and owns his own football team. Actually, owning a football team wouldn’t do anything for my quality of life, but isn’t that some kind of man-dream? Like a really big TV?

Rusty also has a little golden man named Oscar to cuddle up to at night, if his gorgeous wife isn’t enough. What part of the millions of dollars he is paid per movie, the awards he’s won, and the general adulation that comes in Hollywood stopped him from achieving high self-esteem? We might only see the ’sparkling version’, but even looking for cracks, your life seems pretty good Russ.

Russell Crowe is shown at the 2005 Venice Film Festival on 9/25/05 thanks to PRPhotos.

Sometimes a star has something that I am crazy jealous of, like Reese Witherspoon’s Oscar dress. I am crazy jealous of this, as I could never get close to having something this cool named after me.

Star Trek actor George Takei has been chosen as the namesake of the asteroid formerly known as the 1994 GT9.

The asteroid, located between Mars and Jupiter, has been renamed 7307 Takei in honour of the actor, who is best known for his role as Hikaru Sulu in the original Star Trek series.

“I am now a heavenly body,” Takei said today, laughing.

“I found out about it yesterday. … I was blown away. It came out of the clear, blue sky - just like an asteroid.”

The celestial rock, discovered by two Japanese astronomers in 1994, joins the 4659 Roddenberry (named for the show’s creator, Gene Roddenberry) and the 68410 Nichols (for co-star Nichelle Nichols, who played Lieutenant Uhura).

Sydney Morning Herald

Now, I know you can have naming rights to stars – you can buy them at your local observatory. The Auckland observatory claim you can actually see the star you adopt, but that’s just probably because the stars you can see from new Zealand aren’t popular. They certainly aren’t as cool as having an asteroid named after you because you used to pretend to be on a space ship - the star ship Enterprise - which also has an asteroid named after it.

The International Astronomical Union (IAU) point out that purchasing or adopting a star means very little in their community, but being given one by them means that astronomers themselves will use the name given.

Whoever discovers an asteroid, for you amateur stargazers out there, has ten years to give it a name. After that the IAU consider other suggestions, where it strongly warns against names in questionable taste, or military and political leaders less than 100 years dead. I guess George Bush has a few years before we can hurtle him through the universe…

In case you were wondering, some other famous names to grace our skies include Elvis, Lennon, McCartney, and Shakespeare.

And that’s your daily dose of space trivia.

For those of you who, like myself, aren’t Star Trek fans, George Takei is now seen on Heroes, as Hiro Nakamura’s father.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Header image is not Takei’s specific asteroid, and was found at Space-Travel.com. Picture of George Takei via MSNBC.

You know what makes me happy? The thought of O.J. Simpson being someone’s bitch in prison. Yeah I know the likelihood that he’ll go to prison is pretty slim – it’s O.J. after all, he could go all Rambo on the inside of a police precinct and somehow get away with it. And I know the likelihood that he’d be someone’s bitch is also pretty slim – but a girl can dream, right? And that’s my dream, because I have a frighteningly retributive nature. But after the thought of O.J. going to prison and O.J. bending over, the thing that makes me the next happiest is O.J. losing all his stuff to Fred Goldman & Company. I can’t believe the Juice has been able to live his lavish lifestyle for so long, but better late than never.

“A California judge on Tuesday ordered the ex-football hero to fork over a Rolex watch, among other items, to help satisfy the $33.5 million judgment for the wrongful deaths of ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman. David Cook, a lawyer for Goldman’s father, Fred, said after Tuesday’s hearing that the Submariner Rolex could be worth anywhere from $5,000 to $20,000. ‘In this case, if it’s Mr. Simpson’s, then it would be ours,’ Cook told reporters outside the Santa Monica courthouse. Simpson’s Los Angeles-based attorney, Ronald Slates, expressed doubts about the Rolex’s authenticity and said he had already collected the timepiece from his client and planned to turn it over to Goldman’s camp by Tuesday afternoon. ‘Know any Rolex watches that sell for 125 bucks?’ he asked, noting that’s the amount Simpson told him he paid for it. But the lawyer conceded that if it is a knockoff, ‘it’s a pretty good copy.’”

[From E! News]

The very best part? If any of that “sports memorabilia” that Simpson was arrested for trying to steal back is found to actually belong to him, he has to surrender it – so he loses either way. Party up in here!

“Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Gerald Rosenberg also ordered the Naked Gun star to surrender any of the memorabilia from last month’s purported Las Vegas heist that is found to belong to Simpson. He is currently facing 11 criminal counts, ranging from armed robbery to kidnapping, for taking the items. Simpson, 60, has proclaimed his innocence, stating that all the mementos belonged to him and he was just conducting a ‘sting operation’ to get them back.

“As for the cache of memorabilia, Slates said he had no way of handing over any of it because Las Vegas police have confiscated it for evidence. Cook countered that Rosenberg’s ruling states that should Simpson be found to own any of the disputed collectibles, which reportedly includes footballs, jerseys and photos, then they must be given to the Goldmans. ‘As we said earlier, Mr. Simpson is going to walk out of Las Vegas bust. You’ve always heard that expression,’ Cook added. ‘He’s not walking away with that sports memorabilia. That’s what the judge ordered, and he’s going to literally walk away empty-handed for all his trouble.’”

[From E! News]

I wish you all could see my happy dance. It’s very undignified, completely unhinged, and totally worth it. I love to see this wife-battering murderer getting what he deserves. I doubt much of anything will wipe the smug grin off his face, but maybe living in a box down by the river might be a good start.

Note by Celebitchy: Both Helen and JayBird covered this, so here’s Helen’s take on it, followed by JayBird.

Robert Furo was charged with residential burglary and remanded to jail on 100,000 dollar bail, after allegedly breaking into Cage’s oceanfront home in NewPort Beach, 80 kilometers (50 miles) south of here, said the local district attorney’s spokeswoman Farrah Emami.

“The defendant, Mr Furo, is accused of breaking into the home of the victim, Nicolas Cage … and wearing Mr. Cage’s jacket” early Monday, she said.

Inquirer.net

Nick escorted the intruder into his backyard, and when he got there he discovered the guy was wearing his jacket. It must have been a nice jacket. Nick Cage likes them action movies, so I’m guessing he’d have a really nice home entertainment unit, you might steal that first. Or even his cell phone. Or some cash you found lying around. Not so for this intruder, not when you can have a nice jacket instead.

The intruder will appear in court on 10th October. He’s listed his occupation as ‘tailor’, so either he’s not so crazy and recognises the amusement of stealing only a jacket, or it was really a very lovely jacket and he simply recognised that as part of his profession.

Written by Helen, JayBird’s version to follow

I’m sure being a celebrity isn’t all sweetness and light. I know we all would like to be famous, or at least rich, and most of the famous people we talk about here sought out their fame, and thus chose it, with all the good and the bad that comes with it. Still, there’s some freaky elements to deal with, like… stalkers! Now they say you’re no one in Hollywood until you have your very own stalker, and while it’s nice to know you’ve arrived, it’s probably not so nice to realize it when someone’s trying to slash your tires… or your throat. Nicolas Cage got a little bit of the weirdo action when he woke up on Monday morning to find a man in his house… wearing his coat. I gotta tell you, if I were to break in to a rich person’s house, trying on their clothes would not be my first order of business. Which makes me think this dude is likely crazy. Or just obsessed with couture who knows.

“Sweet dreams aren’t made of this. An Orange County man has since been arrested and charged with burglary after Nicolas Cage woke up early Monday morning to find the guy shuffling around his Newport Beach home. Cage reported seeing a strange male in his home to his community’s gate guard, who in turn called the cops.

“Newport Beach police told “E! News” that Robert Furo Jr. was wearing Cage’s jacket when the actor spotted him shortly before 1:30 a.m. The Oscar winner then escorted Furo outside, where officers took him into custody without incident a few moments later.

“Police said that there was no sign of forced entry and Furo didn’t give them, or Cage (minus the trauma factor) any trouble. The Ghost Rider star’s wife, Alice Kim, and their son Kal-El, who turns two on Wednesday, were also asleep in the house at the time.

“Furo pleaded not guilty to felony burglary Tuesday and is currently still behind bars. Bail was set at $100,000 and the defendant, who identified himself as a tailor, is due back in court for a pretrial hearing Oct. 10.”

[From E! News]

Well at least it sounds like this Robert Furo Jr was one of your nicer, better behaved crazies. There’s a sliding scale of crazy: the bottom being the guy who stands outside your house with binoculars, the second being the guy who walks inside, takes his pants off and sits on all your furniture, and the third being the guy that stabs you in the kidney. There is nothing between the pants-off guy and the stabbing guy. So considering that rule, it sounds like Cage’s crazy guy was right in the middle – the report doesn’t mention the sate of Furo’s underwear, so I’m going to assume it was around his ankles. I’m glad Nicolas Cage and his family are alright, though I’d recommend they purchase a top of the line steam upholstery cleaner, just to be safe.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Nicolas Cage is shown on the set of “National Treasure 2″ in London on 8/3/07. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Right after the story that no one could verify that there was an Eva Longoria sex tape there’s news that there’s a Britney Spears sex tape.

Back in mid-November there was a story that there was a Britney Spears sex tape made with her ex, K-Fed, and that he was shopping it around for millions.

Right before K-Fed was said to be trying to sell the video, a clip came out of an attractive dark-haired Britney lookalike giving a blowjob. (That link is to an article about it and is SFW. The video is linked from there if you want to see it.) Commentors at the time said it looked like her, but they didn’t think it was her or K-Fed, because the male was too well endowed and she doesn’t seem like the type to be, uh skilled at that.

The supposed Eva Longoria sex tape was available through a torrent download, but could not be viewed until you paid for a subscription to a site called “Celebrity Orgy.” I tried to subscribe to this, but was not able to.

In the pop-up window that prompted you to subscribe to view the fake Eva Longoria sex tape, there was a picture of the video of the Britney lookalike giving a BJ and it said “Britney Spears: Is this the infamous home sex video?”

It’s not such a stretch to say that someone at In Touch, who is now reporting the Britney sex tape story, saw that clip and got the idea that there was a sex tape. I’m not saying that’s what happened, just that it’s suspicious that this news is coming out right after the story of the Eva Longoria sex tape that linked to that fake Britney one.

Here’s the InTouch story about it. Some guy says he got drunk with her in Hawaii and videotaped it, but that he couldn’t keep it up or something and doesn’t want people to see. That sounds convenient for In Touch.

According to the magazine a guy who met Britney while she was on vacation in June has told In Touch that he made a video of them doing the deed - and the tape might become public.

So far, the only thing, he claims, holding him back from releasing the video is that he was so disappointed by his own performance, he is embarrassed to let the rest of the world see it!

Oh the humanity! Is this guy for real? The magazine reports that the 28-year-old man, who was living on Hawaii’s Big Island at the time, says he left his camera rolling without Britney’s knowledge as they became intimate at a bungalow at the Four Seasons hotel on the Kona-Kohala Coast on June 7.

He tells In Touch he met Britney in the bar at 1 a.m. and they ended up partying together in Brit’s room before hooking up. “It was just normal, we didn’t do anything crazy,” he tells In Touch. “It was a little disappointing. It lasted for about 25 minutes and then we passed out.”

[From The National Ledger]

Still, it’s in the print edition of In Touch so this story might have been published before the Eva Longoria business, which broke over the weekend, and the whole thing could be a coincidence. The scenario sounds plausible, but until the tape gets out I’m not buying it. These sex tape stories don’t mean much until there’s evidence. With Britney it seems pretty believable though, considering that she’ll do anything that moves.

Update: Commentor cc notes that the tape was made without her consent if this story is true and that is unacceptable.

More details have come out about George Clooney’s motorcycle accident in New Jersey a week and a half ago. Clooney and his girlfriend of the moment, Sarah Larson, a 28 year-old former cocktail waitress were thrown from his Harley Davidson after a collision with a car.

A witness tells The National Enquirer that Clooney kept his cool and was careful to tell Larson not to move after the accident. This is key in the case of a potential spinal injury and if their injuries were worse Clooney’s advice could have saved her from being paralyzed:

“I saw the bike hit the curb, and then Clooney and girl hit the ground. If they hadn’t been wearing helmets, they would have been killed instantly,” eyewitness David Sciumbata told The Enquirer.

“They were pinned under the bike, and it looked like her leg had been crushed.”

David, a guitarist, watched the mishap from his front proch in Weehawken, N.J., around 3 p.m. on Sept. 21. He called an ambulance and then rushed to aid the couple.

“Clooney was clearly in pain, but he kept asking the girl about her spine,” David said. “He was afraid she might have been paralyzed.

“He tried to keep her clam. I heard him say ‘Please don’t move. You are going to be fine. I don’t want you to move your leg or your back.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, October 8, 2007]

Clooney did absolutely the right thing. Medline says that “If you are in doubt about whether a person has a spinal injury, assume that he or she DOES have one” and that you should not move a person after an accident unless it is absolutely necessary as in the case of getting them out of a burning vehicle.

Both Clooney and Larson escaped from the accident with minor injuries after being treated at a nearby hospital. Larson suffered a broken toe while Clooney fractured a rib and had road rash.

Clooney was quite level-headed and smart to tell Larson not to move and to stay calm after the accident. As much as I like to rip on Clooney for being an incurable womanizer, he gets points for this one. There was a report in a NJ paper that claims he also told he loved her in the moments after the accident.

Clooney and Larson are still together, and she was seen hobbling outside of his hotel in NY on crutches for a night out on the town last night. In one picture he’s shown smoothing her hair or picking something off her face. Her eyes are closed and she’s clearly relishing the attention. Thanks to Splash News for those pictures.

Clooney is also shown in NY filming Burn After Reading. Thanks to PRPhotos.

I know yesterday I said that I wouldn’t watch the Sex and the City movie in the theater and I stand by that. I would watch it half for the shockingly bad couture anyway, and we’re getting plenty of that from the paparazzi pictures.

Splash News calls Sarah Jessica Parker a “corpse bride,” while describing these pictures and although I wouldn’t be that harsh I have to say the pointy details over the bustline do manage to emphasize her clavicles and make her look old. Add that giant blue feather on the side of her veil and she’s positively witchy.

There weren’t any pictures of Big that I could find, and I looked through photos from three different agencies. It’s possible they were just filming the outside scenes and he didn’t need to be there, or maybe Carrie is marrying someone else. While we think they’re giving away the plot by filming out in the open in NY, maybe they’re deliberately making some things unclear.