Keith Richards is a good example for children. Kids, don’t do drugs – you might snort your father up like cocaine, or pull a gun on your bandmate, or forget how to play music. Music you wrote and played for half a century. Ronnie Wood, the young one in the Rolling Stones, has put out these claims in his autobiography. Which are probably true, unless they are his own delusional drug flashbacks.

Keith was reportedly furious with Ronnie for smoking purified cocaine in a method known as freebasing.

Ronnie recalls: “After a row with Keith one day, he stormed off to get his gun. I warned everyone to ‘clear the decks’. Keith came back with his Derringer gun, pointed it at me and yelled, ‘You f***ing b*****d Woody!’.

“But I had my own gun, a .44 Magnum. I didn’t have any bullets for it but I calmly pulled it out. And that was the last time Keith pulled a gun on me - until the next time.”

In the tome, Ronnie confesses he became so addicted to cocaine he once banned his children from eating meringues in the house after he mistook a white crumb for a chunk of the drug and attempted to smoke it.

New Zealand Herald

Say no to drugs kids.

There are rumours around again that the Rolling Stones are going to retire – but Mick Jagger doesn’t think so.

Answering questions from readers of the BBC News website, the star, who has just spent two years touring with the band, said they had no plans to retire.

“I’m sure the Rolling Stones will do more things and more records and more tours. We’ve got no plans to stop any of that really,” the 64-year-old said.

“As far as I’m concerned I’m sure we’ll continue,” he added.

BBC

The Rolling Stones made $558,255,524 on their Bigger Bang tour, despite issues facing the band. Like Keith Richards falling out of a coconut tree in Fiji and suffering a head injury. Why would you retire? Why wouldn’t you keep travelling the world, having mini-breaks in Fiji, and making gazillions? I guess Ronnie’s allegations of the Stones forgetting how the songs go can’t be too serious – they remember them well enough for their shows.

The Stones are shown in 8/20/06 performing at Twickenham in London, thanks to PRPhotos.

Recently it seemed that Elizabeth Taylor might have been planning on walking down the aisle with her gentleman companion, 47-year-old businessman Jason Winters. Not bad for a woman of 75-years.

“Jason Winters is one of the most wonderful men I’ve ever known and that’s why I love him,” Taylor said.

“He bought us a beautiful house in Hawaii and we visit it as often as possible.” It will be Taylor’s first trip down the aisle since her failed 1991 marriage to construction worker Larry Fortensky

A friend says: “Liz is madly in love with Jason and he feels the same way. It’s taken us all by surprise, but we’re happy for her.

“She didn’t think she’d fall in love again, but since Jason came into her life that has all changed.”

Courier Mail

But she disputes the marriage claims, in this crazy YouTube video, taken at her annual AIDS Foundation benefit.

Is that actually Liz Taylor or some kind of drag queen impersonator? If it is her I’m glad she is well enough to howl like a wild coyote, and squawk like a – oh, I can’t describe anything that can howl “Maaaaawidge!” in just that way. I guess it’s that kind of talent that wins you Academy Awards.

Elizabeth Taylor seems to have learnt her lesson about marriage. It wasn’t an easy lesson to learn, she’s been down the aisle eight times, twice with the same man – I think it’s fair to say she’s a slow learner. To give credit where it is due, she does seem to have taken it all to heart, having been separated from her last husband since 1996.

Larry Birkhead is going to star with baby daughter Dannielynn in a reality TV show about their day to day life.

Larry Birkhead and his daughter with late Anna Nicole Smith will reportedly star in a reality show about 1-year-old Dannielynn being raised without her mother.

According to reports Birkhead was flooded with TV offers after Smith died and he gained custody of Dannielynn. “I don’t want to give away something yet. It’s basically the ‘day in the life of duties,’” Birkhead was quoted as saying.

“My daughter is my focus now. I’m being a great dad. She’s teething. She’s got about eight teeth. Everything is great with her. She comps on me every day. All she has to worry about is her Barney video,” Birkhead says.

TransWorldNews

Howard K. Stern has also been busy, serving legal papers to Rita Cosby at a Manhattan party for her book Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith’s Death. The papers are suing her for libel, mostly focused around the allegations that Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern were gay lovers. Rita’s evidence of this is a supposed tape of their encounter. In this video, Rita says she stands by her claims ‘120%’, but quickly leaves when reporters ask her to reveal her sources. The link is NSFW as it has Anna Nicole’s ‘death photos’. Obviously someone who stands by her claims 120% doesn’t have maths as their strong suit - I wonder if she’s worked out how many copies of her book she gonna need to shift to pay $US60 million to Howard K. Stern?

Virgie Arthur has also been seen out and about - at Rita Cosby’s book launch! Who would want to see that book published about their daughter?

I’m not a big fan of Anna Nicole Smith, her mother, either of her former male companions or Rita Cosby, all of them seem mostly interested in cashing in on her notoriety. At least Larry Birkhead has an excuse – to a point – in that he is a single father raising her baby.

The pictures of Anna Nicole dead (that we know were fakes) are now being claimed as Anna Nicole having a bit of fun. Rather than her being intoxicated, Howard K. Stern told Entertainment Tonight that the pictures were just of Anna Nicole eating a fish sandwich and having fun with the camera when she got tartar sauce on her face.

You know, there are some really unflattering pictures of me out there, but none this bad. At least I’m not naked, eating KFC, and missing my mouth.

Everyone is all atwitter that George Clooney was seen carrying a “sex ramp,” and he definitely was. It’s called the Liberator (link NSFW!) and is supposed to raise the womans hips for a more pleasurable angle and facilitate different positions or something. I’ve actually heard of it before because one of our advertisers on Celebitchy, Black Label Adult Shop, had these for a while, but Clooney must have snapped them all up because they’re sold out now.

It seems to be more evidence that Clooney is into some kinky shit in the bedroom, and commentors on Gossip Rocks were going back and forth about whether it could be used for massage therapy for his recent injury or if it was indeed a sex ramp. The purple color gives it away and there’s no mistaking what it is.

The picture that has everyone talking is of Clooney in casual-looking clothes looking like he’s carrrying the thing out to a waiting cab where his girl toy is about to be spirited to the airport and back to her bleak existence as a Vegas cocktail waitress, the sex ramp a sad reminder of the price she had to pay for a few weeks of premieres and expensive restaurants. Unfortunately that’s not the case and the photo was taken on the NY set of Clooney’s new film, Burn After Reading.

Splash News give this picture description:

George Clooney pretends to hurt his leg on the set of his new movie. The actor was waiting to shoot a scene when he jokingly kicked a moving car and pretended to hurt his knee. He turned around and smiled at the director. In the scene George was carring a large purple triangle that he pulled out from a parked car. He is in New York at the moment filming ‘Burn After Reading’.

[From Splash News photo description, public link unavailable]

Unlike Madonna and the purple penetrator, this isn’t really evidence that Clooney is anything but a good employee just doing his job.

If you want to purchase something similar to spice things up in the bedroom you’re better off heading to your local medical supply store and getting an orthopedic wedge. It might not be exactly the same incline, but it’s about $100 cheaper and you can be creative. When I was pregnant I slept with one of these and found it very comfortable. I never knew how versatile it was.

Picture below from Jezebel.com, and you can also tell Clooney is on set because he was sporting that same outfit in other photos that came out of him filming this week. The photos of Clooney on set in a suit are thanks to Splash News.

Where do you start with Britney? She’s moving to different hotels every night, with paparazzi trailing after her like flies on shit. She lost custody of her children, but she doesn’t seem to be as concerned about that as she is about putting her crazy on full display.

She has been granted supervised visitation rights with her children, but in order to even maintain those visits she has to comply with judge’s orders to go to counseling every week, meet with a parenting coach, and submit to drug tests. She completely ignored everything she was supposed to do just to maintain custody, which is why it was stripped from her, so the next step for Britney is to be estranged from her young boys due to her own willful negligence. She certainly seems to be headed there.

He [the judge] also ruled that her visitation rights will be terminated “if any conduct or action by (Britney) endangers the minor children.” The monitor has the power to terminate her visitation rights.

Gordon said Britney “is ordered to undergo testing for the use of controlled substances and alcohol,” something he required in a previous order. As we first reported, Spears did not submit to drug tests as required by the Court. Gordon now says “… refusal to submit to a test … shall be deemed by the Court as a failed test.”

She’s also required to undergo “individual counseling” at least once a week as required by Gordon last month and must also meet with a parenting coach so they can “observe [her] interaction with the minor children and her parenting skills.”

[From TMZ.com]

On October 26th she’s scheduled for another custody hearing and must show up to court. At that point if she hasn’t attended at least three individual counseling sessions and three joint counseling sessions with K-Fed she could lose visits with her sons.

Meanwhile the video for Britney’s new single is out, and features a blonde-wigged throwback-looking Britney watching a dark-wigged stripper version of her current self. It’s not bad by most accounts, and a lot of that is due to flattering lighting and expert editing. Her career is slowing crawling back, and her single “Gimme More” is currently at the top of the digital download charts. It couldn’t come at worse time for her, though. The more she courts press the more she seems like she’s headed for an even worse, even more public meltdown.

Britney’s record label, Jive, has come out with a supportive statement about her upcoming album and her well-publicized personal issues. They say “she faces challenges that most of us can’t really imagine” and that she’s a human being and that “it’s not our place to comment on her personal issues, but we do care about her and support her.”

Yesterday she was photographed looking visibly distressed in her car outside a supermarket while holding her dog. Did she hear that PETA wants her give up custody of her pooches too or was she upset that she still has to quit drugs if she wants to see her kids?

She is addicted and needs to clean up and start showing up, but all she can do is follow her every whim and flit around. She’s about to dig herself an even deeper hole, and I’m at the point where I don’t want to watch her do it. If she doesn’t go to rehab again or accept some form of help she’s going to lose her boys entirely. While she probably is grateful to be free of the smidgen of responsibility she had before, it must be distressing to her to realize that by holding on so tightly to her immaturity she’s risking even seeing her boys again.

Let’s see: sober up and show up for counseling and be able to see your kids or continue to drink and get high every day, do whatever you want and be completely alone in the world without the thing that means the most to you? What a tough decision.

The trailer for the upcoming Tim Burton film, iSweeney Todd starring Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, is out. It looks like Depp predictably shines as a serial killer bent on revenge. He’s so skilled at playing offbeat unlikely heroes. Burton seems to provide rich visuals and the type of haunting, dark atmosphere that he’s know for.

Possible Spoiler Alert:
Here’s the plot synopsis:

Plot Summary: Johnny Depp and Tim Burton join forces again in a big-screen adaptation of Stephen Sondheim’s award-winning musical thriller “Sweeney Todd.” Depp stars in the title role as a man unjustly sent to prison who vows revenge, not only for that cruel punishment, but for the devastating consequences of what happened to his wife and daughter. When he returns to reopen his barber shop, Sweeney Todd becomes the Demon Barber of Fleet Street who “shaved the heads of gentlemen who never thereafter were heard from again.” Joining Depp is Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs. Lovett, Sweeney’s amorous accomplice, who creates diabolical meat pies. The cast also includes Alan Rickman, who portrays the evil Judge Turpin, who sends Sweeney to prison and Timothy Spall as the Judge’s wicked associate Beadle Bamford and Sacha Baron Cohen is a rival barber, the flamboyant Signor Adolfo Pirelli.

[From Shock Till You Drop via Fark]

And here are some stills from the film and the movie poster, courtesy of Allmoviephoto. Sweeney Todd is out in theaters on December 21, 2007 and like everything Depp touches it’s sure to be a hit.

Despite multiple denials from both Jennifer Lopez and her husband of an inexplicable three years, Marc Anthony, they are said to be planning to announce Lopez’s pregnancy at their joint concert at Madison Square Garden on Sunday:

Bronx native Jennifer Lopez, 38, plans to “announce that she and (husband) Marc Anthony are expecting their first child on Saturday night at her Madison Square Garden concert,” said an insider.

[From NYPost]

On September 19th Anthony’s publicist denied that Lopez was pregnant, saying “Everyone calls about this every month with the hopes that they’ll hit the mark, but no. No.”

Then Lopez herself claimed she wasn’t pregnant about a week later when she was asked directly, saying: “No, no! We get this every week! I don’t mind when people talk about this, I get the interest. I’m not the only [celeb] who gets these rumors.”

The rumors started when Lopez showed up at the unveiling of her god-awful clothing line, Just Sweet, wearing a green sack-like dress and sporting what looked like a baby bump from a certain angle. She has continued to wear fug loose clothing at public appearances and her concerts with Anthony, and people thought she was either trying to hide a slight weight gain or fibbing about a pregnancy because she hadn’t reached the third month mark yet.

Yesterday a picture surfaced of Lopez’s top blowing up while she was performing to show what looked like a baby bump. Perez ran it, saying “We totally see a baby bump there. Do U????” People has it today, and it looks like she’s protecting her bump in this shot:

If she is pregnant and is going to announce it and everything, why did they both lie about it instead of saying “no comment”? I know this is common practice among celebrities, but there’s no need to be so adamant that it’s not true, it just makes them seem disingenuous. Then again Marc Anthony and J.Lo never came off as honest, down to earth people.

Congratulations to Lopez and Anthony if this is true. She is rumored to be pregnant with twins.

Pictures are of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony performing at Trump Taj Mahal Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey on October 1. Thanks to SplashNews.

When Cate Blanchett showed up at the premiere of The Darjeeling Limited on October 1 wearing a striking loose turquoise dress with a thick silver stripe detail it just looked like she was being fashion-forward as usual. From looking at quite a few pictures of Cate recently, I think it’s safe to assume that she was hiding a growing bump and that she’s pregnant with her third child.

On September 10th she showed a hint of a bump at the Elizabeth: The Golden Age screening at the Toronto Film Festival. She wore a gorgeous black v-neck cap-sleeve dress with purple and red pleated details. She’s a thin woman and showed a definite little bump that could indicate that she’s pregnant.

Ever since, she’s played it safe with loose clothing. She appeared at the screening of the Dylan biopic I’m Not There at the New York Film Festival last night wearing a cowl-neck black loose dress with a diagonal sash across her tummy. She looks a lot fuller in the stomach area.

In candids of her out in NY yesterday she’s wearing a straight plain gray dress and it does look like she has a bump!

Cate Blanchett lives with her two sons and her husband of ten years, playwright and screenwriter Andrew Upton, in her native Australia. Her oldest child, Dashiell John, will be six in December and her youngest, Roman Robert, is three and a half. I bet she’s expecting another one soon, and if so congratulations to her!

Cate told W Magazine in a recent interview that she wants more children soon:

More children are also part of the larger plan. She’d like a couple more, and sooner rather than later. “We’re not going to wait forever,” Blanchett says, downing a rather large vitamin pill before tucking in to a plate of crispy eggplant. “God, I’d love it to be now. I’d love it to be next week.”

Maybe she was already pregnant at that point, but if not it sounds like she was trying.

Thanks to Splash News for the first four pictures below, and PRPhotos for the rest.

Boy do I love me some Q-list celebrities. And who’s more Q-List than Danny Bonaduce? Maybe a random Playboy Playmate, but that’s it. Bonaduce, who was on “The Partridge Family” back in the day and “Breaking Bonaduce” more recently, lost his temper for the 283,485,382,384,381,593 time at the most prestigious of awards show, the Fox “Really Awards” and flipped out on ex-Survivor contestant Jonny Fairplay. Yeah, who? I don’t know. Some dude with curly hair. Fairplay jumped on Bonaduce, basically shoving his crotch in his face (quite acrobatic, if nothing else) which seemed to piss Bonaduce off. Welcome to every woman’s Saturday night, dude.

“Danny Bonaduce is being investigated for battery for tossing ex-Survivor contestant Jonny Fairplay over his shoulder during an award show Tuesday. Fairplay, 33, filed a police report Wednesday claiming that his teeth were knocked out during the incident at the FOX Reality Really Channel awards held at the Hollywood club Boulevard3, the Associated Press reports.”

“Police received the battery report around 2 a.m. at a Hollywood hospital where Fairplay was being treated, Officer April Harding told the AP. ‘He had one tooth broken, another tooth missing from his gum line and two other teeth that were loose,’ she said.

“During the awards show, Fairplay was being jeered onstage when Bonaduce, 48, came onto the stage and said into the microphone, ‘They’re booing because they hate you’” (Fairplay, a wrestler who came in third on the 2003’s Survivor: Pearl Islands, was criticized by many viewers for having lied about the death of lie his grandmother in order to win sympathy from other competitors.)”

“According to police, Fairplay said he then tried to hug Bonaduce. In a video clip of the incident, Fairplay is seen jumping into Bonaduce’s arms. In reaction, Bonaduce tossed Fairplay up and over his head and onto the floor. Fairplay then got up and ran offstage while holding his hand over his mouth.”

[From People]

Bonaduce’s defense? Fairplay was throttling him, and he had to throw him off to stop him. It’s hard to see from the video, there’s a lot of touching of parts that usually don’t touch, and it seems to happen pretty quickly. Bonaduce did mention, “I’m sorry he got hurt.” Alright, and I’m sure you mean it. Supposedly Fairplay had to go through 2 ½ hours of dental surgery after the attack. I don’t think that’s anything shocking in and of itself, that’s what it takes for a root canal. But I’m sure he had some significant mouth injuries, and no matter what he’s probably in a lot of pain. “It knocked one tooth out and then it moved three others. One tooth is, like, shattered eight times.” Well I’d say if nothing else, it’s a good moral lesson for the rest of us: no matter what he does, don’t jump on Danny Bonaduce. Good to know.

Update by Jaybird: The District Attorney has decided not to charge Bonaduce with any crime, noting “It did not appear that the suspect intentionally tried to cause injuries, but simply reacted to the victim’s actions.”

Mariah Carey has never struck me as a particularly bright person. She’s certainly not getting the attention other starlets are for acting like morons, but I don’t think she’s experimenting with nuclear fusion either. Okay I have no idea what that means so I shouldn’t criticize. Anyhoo, turns out Mariah is so rich and dumb (always a winning combination) that she doesn’t even know how many bathrooms she has in her 12,000 square foot Manhattan mansion. But she does know that one of them is devoted to Hello Kitty. True story. Here’s some snippets from her cover story for next month’s “Glamour.”

“Mariah Carey is living the life. Her 12,000 square foot triplex in NYC’s Tribeca district is so big she doesn’t know how many bathrooms she has. ‘I don’t know! Do you really want me to try and think about it?’ she says in the new issue of Glamour magazine. The 37-year-old singer has an entire bathroom dedicated to Hello Kitty. ‘I’ve liked Hello Kitty since I was little,” she says. She has a 3,000-square-foot closet and a separate closet just for lingerie. Check out her fabulous penthouse for yourself in the November issue of Glamour, on newsstands Wednesday, and see interview excerpts below for more classic lines from Mariah…

On her big break:
“I was about 20. I went from having $5 to getting a publishing advance of $1 million.”

On what advice she’d give to Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears:
“I wouldn’t want to speak to those people specifically, but I would say you need to be very centered, and spiritually know where you’re at, all the time. Don’t read the tabloids. Don’t be obsessed with what people are writing or saying. Live your life for you. My lifestyle has changed since making it. It’s not a financial struggle, but I’m still struggling in a lot of ways.”

On her difficult childhood:
“I felt really bizarre as a kid. Mostly because I come from an interracial family [Carey’s mother is Irish and her father is African-American and Venezuelan], and because we didn’t have a lot of money and we moved around a lot. Living in the suburbs is a place that’s all about fitting in. I remember after one particularly bad incident, one of my mother’s friends said in front of me, ‘If this kid makes it, it will be a miracle.’”

On wishing she was a genie:
“Wouldn’t it be really hot if I could just blink and change my outfit right now? How amazing would that be?”

On what she wears during downtime:
“…whenever I’m outside, I want to be in a hot tub. I’m a water person. I would jump in the hot tub in the middle of our interview if it weren’t so freakin’ cold out! But usually when I’m just hanging around, I wear boxers and a tank.”

On adolescence:
“Mariah at 12 was a wreck. I accidentally dyed my hair orange. I shaved my eyebrows. Wore blue eyeliner. Disgusting!”

On whether she believes in love:
“With a human being I don’t know, but definitely with a pet. [Laughs.] I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a relationship of the caliber I write about in my love songs.”

[From Us Weekly]

Okay so she didn’t come off as stupid as I thought, I take it back. I like that she corrected the interviewer’s question by saying she wouldn’t tell Lindsay or Britney specifically what to do, but that it was important to find balance. Mariah famously had a meltdown on TRL a few years ago, but she took some time to herself, really regrouped, and came back with her strongest albums ever. She said she broke down due to stress and work and other things, so it’s impossible to know if drugs or alcohol played a part. But she stepped away, got her life together, and came back better than ever. That’d be great for some other famous ladies to think about.

Picture Note by Jaybird: Here’s Mariah Carey at the Save The Music 10th Anniversary Gala on September 20th. Images thanks to PR Photos.