Apparently, the incident on Dancing with the Stars where Marie Osmond fainted was staged. Reality TV fake and scripted? I’d never believe it!

Sources on the set of “Dancing With the Stars” tell TMZ that Marie Osmond’s fainting spell was scripted — to the point where she had a writer just off camera feeding her lines when she stood up!

Our moles say Marie has a writer on set at all times, prompting her with witty conversation. One on-set source says he was in position when Marie went down — and didn’t miss a beat.

[From TMZ]

For all we know the real reason that Marie Osmond had to have a prompter was that she swears like a sailor on leave, and can’t be trusted to utter a sentence without dropping a few four-letter-words. A renpresentative for Marie denies that she has a writer-prompter.

Could this rumor be a nasty smear campaign to ruin her chances at winning DWTS?

In other Osmond family news, there are plans for the family to reunite for a television special, “The Osmond 50th Anniversary, starring The Osmond Brothers, with special guests Donny, Marie, and Jimmy.” Look for it on PBS in 2008.

Note by Celebitchy (includes spoilers): Marie Osmond came in third in this Season’s Dancing with the Stars, with Mel B and Maksim Chmerkovskiy the surprising runners-up. Helio Castroneves and Julianne Hough won this season. It was Juliane’s second consecutive win as a dance pro. If this is true that Osmond faked her collapse, it hardly seems fair that she made it into the top three.

10 years of overusing the word “bam” have finally caught up to him. Emeril Lagasse’s cooking show on the Food Network has been cancelled. “Emeril Live” will film the last supper on December 11th.

The Food Network has confirmed that “Emeril Live’’ — once the flagship of its primetime schedule — will cease production of new episodes in mid-December after 10 seasons.

[AP]

The beloved cliché-driven chef has put in his time on the channel devoted to the love of cooking. A rep for the network confirmed that he is still under a contract and will continue with his other show “Essence of Emeril.” He will also take part in various specials and other Food Network opportunities. Emeril also issued a statement via the rep expressing his gratitude.

“I am deeply appreciative to all the unbelievable staff — many who have been with the show since the beginning — and all the loyal viewers, and the many talented guests who have appeared on the show through the years. I look forward to continuing my association with the Food Network with `The Essence of Emeril,’ and I have lots of new ideas cooking.”

Possible reasons for the cancellation include a drop in ratings and Emeril’s bloated showbiz salary. The Alton Brown driven show, “Good Eats,” replaced “Live’s” 8 pm spot and increased viewers by 13% . The showy aspect of “Live” was also hard to swallow with a live audience and a band that seemed to provide little appeal. Basically, the network is making room for the fresh meat arriving. Guy Fieri, to name one of the up-and-comers, has been picked up for two more seasons.

Honestly, I haven’t watched anything Emeril-related in years. I just don’t think he creates everyday food that the faster-paced American public lives on. (Although cooking for me usually starts with something that comes from a box.)

The stars were out at the premiere of the children’s fantasy The Golden Compass last night in London. The film is based on the first book in Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy, and stars Kidman as an evil villain to 13 year-old newcomer Dakota Blue Richards’ character, young heroine Lyra Belacqua. Daniel Craig plays Lyra’s uncle and guardian Lord Asriel. Eva Green is typecast as a witch who helps Lyra on her quest.

Here’s the trailer:

The Golden Compass is out on December 5 in the UK and December 7 in the US.

Here are the photos from the premiere. The Daily Mail points out that Daniel Craig’s girlfriend, Satsuki Mitchell, looks like she’s wearing an engagement ring.

Thanks to WENN for these pictures.

The writers’ strike could be over by Christmas. Rumor has it that talks have been successful and that networks and The Writer’s Guild have worked out a deal that is agreeable to both sides. It may take a little while to hammer out the details, though:

As the WGA strike begins its 4th week, I’ve been told positive news about today’s resumption of contract talks between the writers and the producers. So positive, in fact, that I’m almost fearful to post it. But here goes: a very reliable source tells me that there appears to be a deal seemingly in place between both sides.

“It’s already done, basically,” the insider describes. That’s because of the weeks worth of groundwork by the Hollywood agents working the writers guild leadership on one side, and the studio and network moguls on the other. I was told not to expect an agreement this week. But my source thought it was possible that the strike could be settled before Christmas.

[From Huffington Post]

If the strike isn’t settled by December 10, the scheduled Democratic Presidential debate could be postponed as candidates refuse to cross picket lines. It is up to the WGA whether or not they will picket outside the debates, but Edwards, Obama and Clinton have issued statements saying they will not attend the debate if a protest is staged by the WGA. Maybe the impending resolution of the strike will convince the union not to protest, even if they haven’t yet reached an agreement at that point.

The WGA held a rally in NY City’s Washington Square Park yesterday, and were supported by other trade unions including teachers, doctors, and garment workers. Danny Glover, Tim Robbins, and John Edwards spoke at the event.

Carson Daly set himself up for a lifetime of shunning by being the first late night host to defy the strike. He says he is doing it “to support his staffers.”

Meanwhile Ellen Degeneres is not winning any fans by crossing picket lines. The National Enquirer reports this week that guests, including Betty White and Patrick Dempsey, have refused to appear on her show. Ellen canceled a planned trip to NY to tape the show there amid security and protest threats. She was said to be warned by her girlfriend Portia de Rossi that “People are starting to hate you.”

Here’s a list of how many episodes all the shows currently in production have left.

Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures from yesterday’s rally in NY.

- Christina Aguilera’s near-naked pregnant spread in Marie Claire [Celebslam]
- Kelly Slater and Kirsten Dunst? She broke up with her boyfriend ages ago. [DListed]
- Guess who went to the beach? [Bastardly]
- Bobby Brown’s 14 year-old daughter smoking something suspicious [Bossip]
- Britney’s Secret Sex Room [yeeeah]
- Rumors That Britney Is Pregnant Are False [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
- Here’s to You, K-Fed, Father of the Year [Agent Bedhead]
- Gotham Awards featuring Maggie Gyllenhaal, Kyra Sedgwick and Uma Thurman [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Heath Ledger has gone girl crazy. [ICYDK]
- Julianne Moore is a nice person. Tea Leoni can’t be bothered [Webster's Is My Bitch]
- Cindy Crawford’s 1989 Bloomingdale’s Catalog [Drunken Stepfather]
- Paris Hilton’s Boytoy Scored Last Night [Hollywood Rag]
- Paris says she doesn’t care if elephants get drunk [Lifeline Live]
- What happened to Victoria Beckham’s implants? [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
- Papillion Hair is All the Rage [CityRag]
- Look at Vanessa Hudgen’s little sister! She [Crazy Days and Nights]
- Zooey Deschanel at the Tin Man premiere [PopSugar]
- Katherine Heigl Should Quit [IDLYITW]
- What Is Zach Braff Saying To Lisa Kudrow? [Glitterati]
- The five stages of no Internet access [popbytes]
- Another album for Lindsay [The Blemish]
- Old Lady Lohan Might Be Tippling Again [Socialite's Life]
- 100 David Beckham pictures, some shirtless [Just Jared]
- Brooke Burke Bikini Pictures from Ralph Magazine [Egotastic]

Note by Celebitchy: I am moving house. This article was first published on December 12, 2006.

---

Lainey’s gossip predicted that Brad and Angelina would walk the red carpet together this winter, and she suggested it would have something to do with awards season. No matter their motivations, Brad and Angelina look relaxed and happy as the meet a firestorm of flashes at the NY premiere of Angelina’s new film with Matt Damon, “The Good Shepherd.”

It doesn’t seem like these two can catch a break, and I admit I was down on them after all the scandals with Angelina’s heavy-handed security staff in Namibia and India. According to reports from New Orleans where Brad was filming, Angelina kept the brutes in check and was gracious with the locals. After the cute news that they toured Frank Llyod Wright’s masterpiece home, they seem like America’s golden couple again. Now that Reese and Ryan have split, someone’s got to take over. They seem to be all too aware of the role the public wants them to fill, and are still willing to play the game for us anyway. Thanks, you two.

Here’s the trailer for the film, which is a fictional retelling of the start of the CIA. Matt Damon looks incredible.

Pictures from SimplyBrad.

Note by Celebitchy: I am moving house. This article was first published on December 7, 2006.

---

Lindsay Lohan showed just how much the drugs have affected her brain by firing off a rambling e-mail to her lawyers and friends that was promptly forwarded to media outlets. She surely intended it that way, but if she wants to get out this message that she can serve as a role model and help change the world and all, (if that is the message, since I didn’t get the point) couldn’t she put in some line breaks and use a spell checker?

I’m getting ahead of myself, though, because Lohan is begging for help and advice in this stream of consciousness e-mail but doesn’t seem to be at the point where she’s able to accept it. She has a few vague bad ideas of how to go about making people love her, but she’s really just letting everyone know that she and her overinflated ego are out of control:

Subject: The way of the future-Howard Hughes once said. I am willing to release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite letter to the press if any of you are willing to help. Simply to state my oppinions on how our society should be educated on for the better of our country. Our people. Also because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see. People are just mean. I am going to proceed with putting LR to court if need be for what she’s done to me. Its my life. I want to live it. People cannot lie and think that it is okay to continue on having done so. Simply because they will do it again to someone else, and that is not alright with me. I have had many ups and downs, as do we all.
[Note from Celebitchy: that's the longest subject I've ever seen]

Body:
But to make false accusations to one girl is unjust in my oppinion. Having said this, I am willing to do anything I need to get my life the way it should be and the way I work for it to be.. And have thus far in my career. Let’s sue the tabloids for saying the things they say. Defamation of character. Amongst other illegal accusations, I will repeat this over and over to make my point. I am not fully aware of what these, again, accusations are, but I am fully and eagerly prepared to learn them. Have harvey and all lawyers help me please. If he is willing. Al Gore will help me he came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me. If he is willing to help me, let’s find out. Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan metroplis, and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK. I’d really like to fix things and refuse to stop on any account for these unintelligent, vulgar people who like to hurt other people. Not just me, but everyone. I’m willing to hold a press conference and I will do anything necessary to do so. In putting an end to ‘these people’ trying to put an end to me and belittle me as well as try to be the demise of me after all I’ve gone through and done at such a young and tender age in a womans life. Its enough already, I’ve had enough and I am going to be the one to make a change. For all of my fellow actors, friends, people I admire and for those I’ve lost in the recent days, years, months. I do believe the focus in the world has misplaced and directed in the wrong directions and I am willing to be the one to help change that and use my celebrity status to move the focalpoint /(s) of the press to the real issues that we have going on as we speak. Anyone that is willing to help and has a family member or friend, even co-worker that is in a position to be involved in any way, shape or form, please contact me, Jenni Muro, Leslie Sloane, Michael Heller, Jason Sloane, Jason Weinberg as soon as you can or are willing. Just ask them, it doesn’t hurt to ask. So let’s start now, rather than waste time. Do you agree? Because I’m doing it either way. The way of the future. Thank you for your time. Your Entertainer, Lindsay Lohan Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.

Thanks to Gawker for that entire dense e-mail, which I’ve read a few times and still can’t wrap my brain around. That subject line is very long. I don’t have a Blackberry, but is that how they work? Do people routinely just use the subject line for the whole message?

So Lindsay is asking for help from higher-up, and that’s what she’s learning in AA and all. She also says that she wants assistance writing some letter to the press or something about how great she is, but she’s doing it already in this message. She’s incredibly narcissistic and seems to think that everyone is out to get her. She’s blaming “LR” for leaking stories to the press, and LR is said to be the assistant who left her to work for Jessica Biel. She’s obviously using this girl as a scapegoat for her negative image.

Lohan - if you want help, I’ll give it to you, thanks for asking: If you’re so fucking concerned about education go to college. Preferably somewhere in the Midwest where drugs are hard to find. Maybe if you stop going out every night you won’t have to worry about all the tabloids reporting lies about you or whatever it is this e-mail is about.

It’s good that you’re asking for help, though, that’s something. I look forward to an e-mail where you make a fearless moral inventory and apologize to us all for wasting our time.

Lindsay is shown out to lunch with her mom and sister at Orso on 12/4. Thanks to Linds-Lo.com and Splash News for these pictures.

Note by Celebitchy: I am moving house. This article was first published on July 10, 2006.

---

In a pledge that she’ll probably forget next week, Paris Hilton confirmed to Britain’s Guardian that she plans on being celibate for an entire year:

Paris says she makes her own money and deserves to be known for her, uh, fame, rather than her status as an heiress. She also brags about how gracious and sweet she is:

Paris dishes on Nicole in the article, saying that fame has changed her and that it “breaks her heart” while she’s stayed the same, vapid person all along.

Author Naomi Wolf calls Paris a “palette cleanser” and compares her bland sexy-innocent image to white noise:

When told about Wolf’s assessment of her, Paris says she doesn’t know what it means, but that she thinks it’s “nice.”

While some people give Paris credit for her skyrocketing image, I believe her and think she’s just been the same shop-a-holic party-girl all the time.

Of course I don’t believe that she’s going to be celibate for a year, because chances are she said that in a brief two-week lull and will forget all about it when the next hookup presents itself.

Paris is seen in a new photoshoot by Dave Hogan, and posing with her sister, Nicky, on July 8th in LA. She is also shown shopping for prison shorts on July 7th. [via]

Note by Celebitchy: I am moving house. This article was first published on August 11, 2006.

---

My BFF hairdresser back in the states, Ken, also went to cosmetology school. He did me up a few times before we went out and I looked incredible if I do say so myself. Makeup does wonders. It’s a shame I’m not rich or I would fly him over here to hang out and make me look gorgeous every day. Access to top-notch makeup and hair experts is one of the major advantages of being a celebrity. (That and not having to deal with all the bullshit at the airport. Now we can’t even bring our own water or books onto a plane. Do you think that makes us safer, because it seems like exactly the sort of thing that would please the terrorists. I’m just saying.)

Renee Zellweger (the before picture could be from “Bridget Jones”)

Tori Spelling - ouch!

Kate Hudson - adorable

Pam Anderson - not bad

Thanks to Cherryjam at JJB for posting this and creating the pictures.

Note by Celebitchy: I am moving house. This article was first published on October 8, 2006. Unfortunately none of our fantasies have come true.

---

What would happen if Cele|bitchy controlled the celebrity news for the next year?

The high and mighty fall and the downtrodden rise in our fantasy celebrity futures wish list.

- Lindsay Lohan abandons her showbiz career to attend a small liberal arts college in the midwest, passing the torch to her unwitting sister, Ali. Lindsay will regret all the knowledge and culture she missed when she was snorting and fucking her nights away and the world will open up to her in a way she never dreamed possible, kind of like Reese Witherspoon’s character in “Pleasantville.”

- Britney Spears dumps Cletus and hires a team of experts to advise her on all aspects of her lifestyle and public image. She gets back into shape quicker than Janet Jackson, and just in time for her new album to drop. She pals around with a fabulous gay male personal trainer who makes her work out daily, tells her how to dress, and gets her to spit out her gum during public appearances.

- Julia Roberts makes a comeback, starring in four critically acclaimed movies in a year. Her roles feature different lovely, normal women of natural beauty, and she wins another best actress Oscar for a part that required no prosthetic body parts, weight gain, or unattractiveness.

- Paris Hilton gets fat quite quickly, and everyone assumes she’s become lazy and has given in to daily margarita and In-N-Out Burger cravings. After a year and custom size 16 couture, it is discovered that poor Paris has a microtumor on her pituitary gland, which led to her rapid obesity. (This can actually happen, I saw a show about it on “Montel.”) At that point it’s too late for Paris, who has lost her identity and all sense of purpose and must reinvent herself as a spokesperson for shoddy fitness products.

- Beyonce and Jay-Z get married in a lavish ceremony and throw an extravagant reception. Two weeks later, the clerk at city hall where they registered for their marriage license sells copies of Beyonce’s birth certificate to The National Enquirer. Beyonce is forced to admit to the public that she’s 32, not 25 as she has claimed.

- George Clooney falls in love with a fast gorgeous woman and quickly marries her, forgoing the formalities of a prenup. His wife leaves him after three months, exacting revenge for models, actresses, and scorned women everywhere. Clooney’s smirking ex predictably takes off with half his fortune, made considerably larger in the brief time she kept up the charade. This is just like what happened to his character Miles in “Intolerable Cruelty,” and he will not fail to see the irony.

- Matthew McConaughey becomes a spokesperson for NORML, the marijuana law reform lobbying group. Marijuana becomes legal by doctor’s prescription throughout the US thanks to the McConaughey-Phillipe “tokes not pills” Daniel Smith memorial bill.

- Jessica and Ashlee Simpson dump their father, Joe, as their manager and write a tell-all book full of juicy details of his maniacal controlling ways. Jessica gives up her singing and “acting” career to focus on her shoe and bag line, which she starts selling on QVC. Ashlee is content to continue as a bland pop singer known more for her dramatic image change than her mediocre talent.

- Fergie gets an offer from Depends undergarments that she can’t pass up, and becomes a spokesperson for the bladder control pads. She launches a new youth-oriented campaign encouraging 20-somethings to wear diapers before they get blotto.

- Scarlet Johansson comes out as a lesbian and brings her gorgeous Hollywood outsider girlfriend with her to events and movie premieres.

- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt realize that their philanthropic and ecological efforts mean nothing when they live in the lap of luxury and drive around in a Range Rover. Brad encourages Angelina to join him in a more authentic lifestyle. The two move to a remote African village to live off the land for a year.

Their young children thrive, but the stress and hard work have Brad and Angelina bickering constantly. Angelina wants to move back to the states after a week, but Brad is unwilling to abandon the project and tries to keep a brave face for the cameras. The whole experience is captured for a reality TV show to be aired on FOX.