I never got the appeal of David Spade, because the few times I watched that terrible “Just Shoot Me” show I found him incredibly annoying. Somehow he’s managed to score with Hollywood babes including Kristy Swanson, Lara Flynn Boyle and Heather Locklear, so maybe he’s fun to be around. The latest conquest of the height-challenged comic is said to be newly separated star of “The Office,” Jenna Fischer.

The 43-year-old comedian… is now seeing The Office’s Jenna Fischer, 33! “When Jenna separated from her husband… in September, she didn’t expect to start dating right away, but she met David at a party, and he made her laugh so hard that she decided to accept his dinner invitation,” a friend tells Star. Their relationship is “just light and fun,” adds the pal.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 31, 2007]

Jenna Fischer plays the second wife of singer Dewey Cox in the comedy Walk Hard, which is currently out in theaters. She said that she completely ripped off Reese Witherspoon’s character in Walk the Line for the role. She blogged about the film on her MySpace right before its December 21 release date, and said that working on it was a “dream come true.” As for the content of the film, she praises her co-star John C. Reilly professionalism and warns that the film “is very raunchy and sexy and the humor is hard core,” and that “ladies, we have penis.”

I so want to make a crack about Spade’s manhood now, it would perfectly wrap up this story, but instead I’ll talk about how into Christmas Jenna Fischer is. She said she loves decorating and baking and that she has three-step Christmas cards she bought at Target. As of December 21st, she was still working on some of them. Maybe she has a new guy to kiss on New Year’s too

Update: Fischer blogged on her myspace that she’s never even met David Spade and suggested that we pair her instead with other actors she’s never met such as Orlando Bloom, Colin Farrell or Jake Gyllenhaal. I think I speak for all of us when I say that those guys should be so lucky. Our apologies for repeating this completely inaccurate story:

Over Christmas, I saw a report in Star Magazine that I’m dating David Spade. Imagine my surprise as… I’VE NEVER MET David Spade! What a milestone! My first TOTALLY 100% UNTRUE tabloid report! I’ve always been very cynical when I hear celebrities say that a story is fake. I figure SOME part of every story must be true right? NO WAY! I have no idea how they are allowed to get away with stuff like that! My publicist said that no one ever called to check the facts of the David Spade story. Which seems strange to me. I have a minor in journalism and I was told to never run a story without 2 reliable sources to back it up. But, while we are on the subject, some other people I’ve never met are: Orlando Bloom, Colin Farrell, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Brad Pitt. Maybe I can fictionally date some of those guys too?

[From Jenna Fischer's myspace]

Jenna Fischer is shown at the premiere of Walk Hard with John C. Reilly on 12/12/07. David Spade is shown at the opening of Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino in Las Vegas on 11/9/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

Eddie Murphy Might Get Married This Weekend [Dlisted]
Snoop’s Love Child Wants Airtime [Bossip]
The Great Debaters review [Pajiba]
Leelee Sobieski in a bikini [Celebslam]
Hollywood Marriages Are a Joke [Yeeeah!]
Mischa Barton Leaving Jail [I'm Not Obsessed]
Rihanna - YOU Magazine Photoshoot [The Bastardly]
Jennifer Aniston is not pregnant [In Case You Didn't Know]
Nicky Hilton in Another Bikini in Maui (Site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
Lily Allen opens Harrods [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
John Mayer: Getting Douchey With It [Agent Bedhead]
Kelly Osbourne does her best Pete Doherty impression [The Blemish]
Zach Braff: Good Talker, Bad Kisser [Cityrag]
Random Celeb Photos [Crazy Days and Nights]
Ellen and Portia Brave the LA Winter [Popsugar]

Cute British singer Lily Allen was on hand to open famed London department store Harrods for the start of their Winter sale this morning. She posed somewhat self-consciously with her hands across her stomach, but didn’t hide her growing pregnancy bump. Allen, 22, is expecting a baby with Ed Simons from the Chemical Brothers, 27. They’ve only been together since September, but are planning on moving in together to help raise the baby. It is not know how far along Lily Allen is, with her rep merely saying that the pregnancy “was at such an early stage” when she confirmed the news.

Lily Allen is getting her own talkshow on BBC in which she will have celebrity guests and musicians. She also wants to help publicize little-known bands with talent. She sent out a message on myspace asking for help finding bands for the show, which will “be on in the new year on BBC3.” The website for the show allows you to register for audience tickets, and hopes to get online participation from fans.

Allen is shown with Harrods owner Mohamed Al Fayed this morning, and she is holding a Shih Tzu named Dylan at Harrod’s pet shop. Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures.

Amy Winehouse spent the year trying to live up to the image of “Rehab.” Ring tones bleeped “Soljah Boy.” Emo continued to combine the musicianship of Blink 182 with the poetry of Journey. Avril Lavigne became a Japanese comic book. Nine Inch Nails sent fans on a scavenger hunt. Justice made us dance. American Idol stayed popular for some reason. Radiohead let you download their album. Madonna ditched record labels. Record labels sued fans. Fans stopped buying Cds. Cd stores went out of business. Britney Spears spent the year trying to live up to the image of “Rehab.” What a year.

Celebitchy author Mike’s top ten music for 2007 in absolutely no order

Amy Winehouse: Back to Black


Amy Winehouse - You Know I’m No Good:

Common - Finding Forever


Common - I Want You

Nine Inch Nails - Year Zero


Nine Inch Nails - Survivalism

Youssou N’Dour - Rokku Mi Rokka


Youssou N’Dour - Africa Calling Live

Kanye West - Graduation


Kanye West - Stronger

Justice - Cross


Justice - D.A.N.C.E

DJ Rekha - Basement Bhangra


No music video available, but here’s a promo for Dj Rehka’s new album, and here’s a link to DJ Rehka’s MySpace

Mark Farina - Live in Tokyo


Mark Farina - a remix of Blue Boy - “Remember Me” from Mushroom Jazz Vol. 1, (not from mentioned album)
Lupe Fiasco - The Cool


Lupe Fiasco - Superstar (from his MySpace)

Timbaland - Timbaland Presents Shock Value


Timbaland - The Way I Are

Guns n’ Roses - Chinese Democracy (honorable mention)

Nicole Kidman has made no secret of the fact that she wants to have more children, and US Weekly reminds us of all her recent quotes that show she’s yearning for a baby. In an interview in September’s Vanity Fair, she said, “I think I would be very sad if I wasn’t able to have a baby. Keith knows I want one, and he has been getting there slowly,” implying that her new husband wasn’t as keen to have a baby as she is. She also told Vogue that “I always thought I’d eventually live on a Fijian island. I love the idea of being in a sarong, with hair down to my bum and kids following me around and hanging out.”

This weekend’s Daily Mail claims that Kidman’s dreams have come true in time for the holidays, and that she’s been telling friends and family that she’s pregnant. The story sounds just like earlier false reports, which had her also telling friends and family of the news. Since the Daily Mail is reporting it, I wouldn’t count on an official announcement anytime soon.

Nicole Kidman and her husband of 18 months are expecting their first baby, the Daily Mail can reveal.

The Oscar-winning actress and Keith Urban, the country and western singer she calls the “love of my life”, broke the news to their families over the Christmas holiday.

The 40-year-old Australian star had already spoken of “winding down” her film-making activities as much as possible next year.

The baby, whose expected arrival date has not yet been revealed, will be the actress’s first natural child.

[From The Daily Mail]

The Daily Mail article then relies on her recent statement that acting on stage “wouldn’t fit in with the logistics and dynamics of my family,” as evidence and goes on to cite her outfits at recent premieres, so it sounds like the supposed pregnancy announcement is just a hunch based on no insider information. And that report this spring that she was pregnant sounded just the same:

After months of fertility treatment, sources say the actress has told family and friends that she and husband Keith Urban are finally expecting their first child together.

[From WomansDay.Ninemsn.com.au, published in March, 2007]

Kidman often looks like she has a lower-belly bump that could be the early stages of pregnancy. Many of you have pointed out that it might be the result of fertility treatment and doesn’t necessarily mean she’s pregnant.

Kidman has hinted at trouble in her marriage. When asked if she was happy with her husband of a year and a half, Keith Urban, she told Interview magazine this October that “I don’t ever say that. Partly because interviews are done in advance and you never know where something’s going. People’s lives together are complicated and beautiful and that’s what they should stay. They’re very quiet. Complicatedly quiet. They don’t need to be broadcast.” She went on to say that “My husband and I are committed to each other and deeply in love. That’s how I would put it. We’re working on staying in that place, and hopefully we will for the rest of our lives.”

If she’s so actively working on her relationship that she has to say she is, it might be harder if a child enters the picture.

The latest photographs I could find of Kidman are from 12/18 at a screening of The Golden Compass in Australia for sick children from Sydney Children’s Hospital Randwick. She could possibly be pregnant, but it could also be her dress. She looked exactly the same with that very minor lower-belly bump in early October of this year. The verdict is still out on this one. I hope for her sake that it’s true, though.

Thanks to Splash News for these pictures of Nicole. She is also shown on 12/16 at the Sydney premiere of Golden Compass.

Update: Kidman’s rep denies this report, and gives a pretty funny response when asked for comments. It sounds like Kidman isn’t pregnant at all:

“It is incorrect,” the spokeswoman tells the paper. “She must have had about 30 babies by now.”

As for Kidman, says the rep, “She’s in Australia making a film” – director Baz Luhrman’s epic Australia, costarring Hugh Jackman – “and her family are in Australia. She’s happily ensconced away somewhere having a few days break. It’s the silly season. As far as we’re concerned, it’s another rumor out of London.”

[From People.com]

I think being a rockstar would be great, it’s still on my career ambitions list. Right under supermodel. I’m not sure how old I have to be before I give the rocker dream up (supermodel ambitions died as I left my teens) but I’m guessing 75. I’m looking to Mick Jagger for advice.

While there are many great perks to the rockstar lifestyle, the experience must have less meaning if you can’t remember it. Case in point: Ozzy Osbourne.

68-year-old Ozzy has recently been paid a £1 million advance to write his autobiography, due for release in May 2008, but it seems he can’t remember enough stories (and I suspect chronological order is also a problem for him) to actually write the book.

‘I cannot imagine the book being ready in 5 months, because so far Ozzy hasn’t written anything - he hasn’t even got a ghostwriter yet,’ a pal tells the Daily Star.

‘So it is going to be some time before the book actually appears, if it ever does.’

Ozzy recently confessed his powers of recollection aren’t fanastic.

‘My memory isn’t what it used to because of the drugs and alcohol I’ve been living on for the best part of my adult life,’ he said. ‘I often get asked, “Is it true you snorted a line of ants?” Knowing me, there’s a very good possibility. But do I remember it? No way.’

Now Magazine

This is a real shame, because beyond the notorious bat biting incident I’m pretty sure Ozzy would have some great rock ‘n’ roll tales to tell. Apart from the simple stories of drink and drugs, I’d love a detailed breakdown of what was actually going through his head as he bit the head off a live bat. And a live dove. And killed the family’s pet cats. Is PETA onto this man?

Unfortunately, I doubt Ozzy could give me a clear idea of what is going through his head right now, let alone during his time with Black Sabbath, but hopefully he’ll get a great ghostwriter. His wife Sharon has written an autobiography, can’t she help?

Picture note by Celebitchy: Ozzy Osbourne is shown performing at Whembley Arena on 6/19/07, and with his wife Sharon on 7/28/06 at the launch of their t-shirt line. The also auctioned off many personal items earlier this month including cars and furniture to benefit Sharon’s colon cancer charity. Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures.

I remember as a child the Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson being embroiled in a toe sucking scandal, and thinking, “ew, gross, why would you want to suck on someone’s toe?” This is mostly because I myself have disgusting feet, and in Australia it is freakin’ hot so your feet are all sweaty, which is why it surprised me to see these pictures of Sting licking his wife’s feet during a Sydney summer.

Docked in Sydney harbour on a hired yacht costing £17,500 a day, Sting gently raised Trudie Styler’s left leg to his mouth - and sucked her toes.

The Police singer, whose personal life has been surrounded by rumours of tantric sex and swingers’ parties, also found time to massage her feet as she reclined on a sunlounger.

Daily Mail

Now the Tantric sex and swinging I can understand, but licking feet in the hot Aussie summer is gross. That’s probably why he stopped licking and started massaging her feet instead.

Nicollette Sheridan is also involved in a little toe love - sucking on fiance Michael Bolton’s toes. Check out the pictures if you can stomach it.

Why do we indulge in these public displays of affection? Do feet taste good after being in salty beach water? Do other people not find feet gross? Since I’m on living in the heat right now (it’s 43 degrees celsius, or 109 Fahrenheit today) my feet are pretty manky and sweaty. I asked my husband if he fancied a little toe sucking, but he declined.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Here are Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton in St. Barts on 12/27 and 12/28, thanks to Splash News.

Lock up any fans of easy listening crooners - Enrique Iglesias says he’s easy and ready for lust.

He said: “Sex and love are so different that, of course, you don’t have to be in love with a woman to sleep with her but it’s amazing when you get them both together. I’d say I’ve been in love about 10 times in my life, although those feelings usually turned out to be lust.

“I’ve had my heart broken a few times, but really, I’ve only been in love once. Love is lust that lasts and develops into trust and friendship.”

While you don’t have to get Enrique to fall in love with you before he’ll bed you, he says he isn’t planning on emulating his father Julio Iglesias’s legendary sexual past. Which is probably good news for his girlfriend of five years Anna Kournikova.

He said: “I wouldn’t say I’ve learnt anything about women from my father, although I did decide that sleeping with 3,000 women was not the way I wanted to live my life.

“Anyway, I think a lot of his Lothario image was an act and I don’t know whether he was any happier than I am now.”

New Zealand Herald

Now, if you do happen to answer to the call of lust with young Iglesias, or even the senior Iglesias, I can tell you what he’ll be wearing: a red g-string. Apparently this is his private (or not so private) way of celebrating the festive season. Some of us just put up a tree and drink egg nog, and avoid the festive themed clothing altogether. Still, I’d rather have a pair of red knickers then wear a reindeer t-shirt anytime.

It seems to be far more acceptable for a man to say he doesn’t need to be in love to have sex, while a woman seems more likely to be branded a slut. Julio Igelsias seems to have a made a career from being a ladies man, but you very rarely hear a woman claim sexual prowess in numbers. Probably because we all know it’s not how often you do it, but how well.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Enrique Iglesias is shown on 6/19/07 at MTV’s TRL.

If Santa Claus goes by the Reuters good celebrity list, then it seems Angelina Jolie probably got something good in her stocking this year. Brad Pitt maybe? Reuters have listed the top celebrity humanitarians of 2007.

The actress was voted the person who has given the best name to “celebrity humanitarianism” for her work as goodwill ambassador for the UN refugee agency.

The 32-year-old, who has three adopted children from poverty-stricken areas, was also recognised for her attempts to draw attention to suffering in Africa and arrange aid for displaced Iraqis.

Madonna was voted the least respected celebrity altruist in the survey of 606 people by Reuters AlertNet. Although she raised millions for orphans in Malawi, she was accused of using her influence to adopt a baby from the country without the normal legal procedures.

Digital Spy

The poll wasn’t based on who did the most good, but rather who is the most respected do-gooder.

Other celebrity humanitarians include Bono, Bill Gates, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Bill Clinton. Following Madonna on the dubious humanitarian list is Paris Hilton following her aborted Rwanda trip, Oprah, Bono again, and Bob Geldof. So how can you earn respect to go along with your celebrity status?

The difference between Jolie and the other famous philanthropists is that the star doesn’t travel with camera crews and does her best to dodge the paparazzi.

“Someone like Angelina Jolie comes across as having more integrity than some celebrities and a greater sense that she doesn’t just do this for the publicity,” the director of the Feinstein International Famine Centre at Tufts University told Reuters news service.

POP

Angelina is an obvious choice as a respected celebrity humanitarian - although how the hell she gets anything done with four kids around is beyond me. I mean anything. Having time to brush her teeth, watch the news to know which countries are in crisis, anything! Some say that she’s got a team of nannies, but four kids must be demanding even if you have four nannies.

It also seems a little unfair to brand Madonna for adopting David Banda without following protocol, mostly because Malawi doesn’t seem to have a protocol for adoption. It is hard to bring a foreign child into your home and raise it, Madonna didn’t just adopt the kid for fashion, he’ll be around for the rest of her life.

It’s interesting that even after years of working for the AIDS cause and other issues in Africa, Bob Geldof and Bono still haven’t got the public’s respect.

Picture Note by Celebitchy: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are shown shopping at a baby store in New Orleans on 12/27/07, thanks to Splash News. Shiloh and Zahara are still young enough to need something from a baby shop so it might not mean they’re preparing for a new arrival by plane or hospital, although the tabloids are sure to make something of it. Thanks to Splash News.

Jennifer Aniston is in Los Cabos, Mexico with Courteney Cox, Courteney’s husband David Arquette and their daughter, Coco. Last year Aniston enjoyed the post-holiday season in Los Cabos along with the Cox-Arquettes and their mutual friend, Sheryl Crow. This year Crow stayed home and it looks like Aniston brought a date. OK! Magazine reports that she boarded a private jet from Burbank with a goateed fedora-wearing “mystery man,” who joined her on the balcony of her hotel in Mexico for drinks along with Courteney and David:

Outside the terminal, the party was picked up by a chauffer-driven white Cadillac Escalade, sent to greet them by their resort. After a 30-minute drive through the Mexican desert into Los Cabos, Jen, Courteney, David and the mystery man were spotted on the balcony of their rented beach home, chatting, drinking and dining at a table overlooking the gorgeous, windswept Sea of Cortez.

“Early that evening, Courteney, dressed in a cute jogging outfit, ran wind-sprints along the sand, as David and Coco accompanied her,” the eyewitness says. The trio “looked very happy and relaxed to be there. Coco was having a blast out on the beach. David looked pretty happy to be away from the hustle and bustle of L.A. He and Courteney were holding hands as they all walked together. And it seemed like the Arquettes may have been giving Jen and her friend some alone time. They weren’t seen leaving the house that night.”

[From OK! Magazine]

Maybe the unknown single guy is just a friend of the Cox-Arquettes, or maybe he was Aniston’s date. She is rumored to be in a so far short-term but serious relationship with actor Jason Lewis, and since he’s so handsome and recognizable we can probably assume that it wasn’t him.

OK! reports that Courteney, David and Jennifer have all enjoyed a joint vacation in Los Cabos for the past four years.

There’s a rumor that I’m inclined to believe that Jennifer Aniston is pregnant. There’s a story in The National Enquirer that she told friends and family that she’s expecting. It’s based on little more than “insider reports,” though, and there are no supporting details other than hearsay. I was hoping for some more evidence from the Enquirer, but now that I’ve read the article I think they might be bluffing based on photos of her. She does look pregnant to me, though.

Aniston’s rep has simply said “she’s not pregnant,” but time and more photographs will tell. Will she raise her baby with a different man like Heidi Klum did with Seal? Was she just wearing a deceptively baggy shirt and was her face looking a little puffy from recent surgical procedures? I’m thinking she’s pregnant, and that it’s going to be a big deal.

Aniston is shown in an ad for St. Jude’s Children’s Research hospital from November, thanks to Splash News.