“The View’s” Sherri Shepherd said that “nothing predates Jesus.” I wonder what she does with the first half of her Bible? [Dlisted]
Speaking of bad cosmetic surgery, as we have a lot today, here’s Jasmine Guy from “A Different World” doing her best Joan Van Ark impression [Bossip]
Rosie O’Donnell is full-figured and fabulous [Celebslam]
Pete Doherty to the Rescue! [Yeeeah!]
Lindsay Lohan And Heath Ledger? [I’m Not Obsessed]
Tara Reid @ All’Hooker’s Ball in Australia [The Bastardly]
Renee Zellweger is looking a little haggard [In Case You Didn’t Know]
A bear tried to eat Eve’s boobs! He left the tell-tale signs (Site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
Cyndi Lauper Uses Helium to Sing [Hollywood Rag]
What is Salma Blair doing to Ashley Olsen? [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Andrew McCarthy: Then and Now [Agent Bedhead]
Mary Carey is auctioning her breast implants. Ew. [The Bastardly]
Pretty Pouty Princesses [CityRag]
Julia Roberts @ Sante D’Orazio [Crazy Days and Nights]
LC Shows Off Her Shape [Popsugar]
Rihanna Flashes her Leopard Print Curves [The Grumpiest]
Congrats to Jill Hennessy [Evil Beet]
Ethan Hawke Riding Dirty with the Nanny [CelebWarship]
Helena Bonham Carter Talks About Her Boobs. Well thank goodness [I Don’t Like You In That Way]
Back to middle school: Miley Cyrus Is So Dating Nick Jonas [Glitterati Gossip]
Tom & Katie Hit The Slopes [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Aaron Carter’s Hollywood fender bender [Popbytes]
John Mayer Really Likes Free Milk. Tee hee. [A Socialite’s Life]
Angela Kinsey: Baby Bump Watch [Just Jared]
Kate Moss Topless, for the Millionth Time. See if you can find her boobs. [Egotastic!]
Paula Abdul was ‘disastrous’ on ‘SNL’ [Lifeline Live]

Some couples make sense together. Some don’t. And some just give you the creeps. The thought of Lindsay Lohan and Heath Ledger falls into the latter category. I can’t say why it sounds so bizarre and disgusting, but it does. To be fair, the thought of anyone with Lindsay Lohan is kind of gross. There’s something so crazy/unbalanced/daddy-issues about her that you just want to tuck her into a nice straightjacket and call it a day. Lindsay broke up with her rehab boyfriend Riley Giles right after Thanksgiving, and has supposedly been hooking up with Heath Ledger since then. Heath Ledger’s personal life doesn’t get a ton of press (at least compared to Lohan’s) and I’m sure he’s no saint, but he still seems way too normal to be with Lohan. Frankly, if the rumors are true, I respect him a lot less now.

She’s only been single a handful of days and already reports have emerged which claim Lindsay Lohan has jumped back on the dating wagon. According to Australia’s New Weekly magazine LiLo - who split from her snowboarder boyfriend Riley Giles last week – is dating actor Heath Ledger.

The publication clams that the Mean Girls star enjoyed a number of late-night sex sessions with the Australian actor after meeting him at New York’s Beatrice Inn over Thanksgiving weekend. “Lindsay and Heath hit it off straight away” claims a source “When she left the club she started texting him straight away and they hooked up a few times while she was still in New York. They were meeting late at night for sex. It was purely physical.”

Meanwhile Ledger – who split from his girlfriend Michelle Williams, with who he has a two-year-old daughter, Matilda – has been linked to a bevy of beauties which include supermodel Helena Christensen. The Brokeback Mountain star has also been spotted on the New York party circuit flirting and “making out” with a string of women.

[From Entertainmentwise]

Again, ew. That’s really all I can say, it’s just a knee-jerk reaction. To go from Michelle Williams to Lindsay Lohan is really letting the world know that you don’t have a “type.” Heath and Michelle seemed pretty down-to-earth, if a little cold and paparazzi hating. They lived in Brooklyn, frequented vegan bakeries, and spent a lot of time in Prospect Park with the other urban yuppies. Lindsay Lohan lives in L.A., frequents bakeries with special brownies, and spends a lot of time sleeping with guys in the park. If nothing else, we can all rest assured it is merely a fling. Has Lohan stayed with anyone more than a few about two months? No Wilmer Valderrama doesn’t count. I don’t know why. But he just doesn’t. Let’s hope Heath has the sense to keep his baby daughter away from Lindsay. I’m not sure if it’s medically possible, but if anyone could give someone Chlamydia just by looking at them, it’s Lindsay Lohan.

Well the reviews are in (I’m sure you’ve all been waiting with baited breath) – and despite the lackluster reception at the Victoria’s Secret show, the Spice Girls’ first concert has actually gotten pretty good reviews. The sold-out Vancouver show had over 15,000 people in attendance. The girls were never known for their singing, so no one’s really evaluating them on that. They weren’t even the greatest dancers. But they were good performers and knew how to please an audience, and according to the professionals (ie people that get paid to review Spice Girls concerts… what a job) the girls still have it.

“The solid gold Spice Girls,” said London’s Evening Standard, a reference to golden outfits the “girl power” quintet sported during the show, one of several costume changes on the night. The reviewer called the performance “ebullient pop music of a very high standard, presented with panache, and highly unlikely to provoke any attendance at the refund window.”

Despite the sassy young singers who stormed the pop world in the 1990s all now being in their 30s, four of them with children, they had yet to pass their sell-by date. “There seems no diminution in the energy they are prepared to expend, or the lengths they will go to to please the audience.”

The Vancouver Sun noted the crush for Spice Girls merchandise, underlining the lasting appeal of Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham, Melanie “Sporty” Chisholm, Geri “Ginger” Halliwell, Melanie “Scary” Brown and Emma “Baby” Bunton. “Just as it was 10 years ago, the show wasn’t about great singing or dancing,” wrote the reviewer. “But it was about great entertainment. And the girls delivered the spice.”

[From Reuters]

I know, I know. Breathe your sighs of relief. There’s some debate as to whether or not they were lip-syncing… but the debate seems to be mostly between critics, as their fans don’t seem to give a rip. And despite reportedly telling him not to attend, Posh’s husband David Beckham showed up anyway. Good for him, he knew a trap when he saw one. Several reviewers did note that all the girls had a solo performance except for Posh. Apparently she’s the worst singer of the group. That’s kind of like being the worst brussel sprout in the bowl, right?

A Croatian video has just hit the internet which appears to show rapper 50 Cent snorting cocaine. In the video, a Croatian reporter is ushered into 50’s dressing room by what appears to be some of the rapper’s entourage. As soon as he steps foot into the room and says “Good evening,” we see a group of men sitting around a table bending their heads forward. One man is standing over them, and he turns and uses his hand to indicate that the reporter should leave the room. The reporter quickly turns around and exits, though the camera aims into the room for a few seconds longer. The man who told the reporter to leave returns to the table and crouches down. Within about ten seconds, 50 Cent comes to the door and greets the reporter. Here’s the video – the pivotal moment is about 1:30 into it.

I will be the first to admit that I don’t know the difference between what you snort, smoke, inject, or insert into your ear. I have no idea what a person who’s just snorted cocaine should sound, look, or act like. But other people seem to think something fishy was afoot. Central Station noted:

Speculation is rife that rapper 50 Cent is on the chizarles after a European video surfaces on YouTube. While the video doesn’t clearly identify 50 Cent hitting the stuff on the table, the entourage quickly ushered the TV crew out of the green room before any incriminating evidence could be filmed. The video shows, however, someone bending over a table and doing something with something. That’s the best we can allege right now.

[From Central Station]

Prayer circle? I’m going with a prayer circle. You know how performers are always thanking God and/or Jesus whenever they win an award? Don’t tell me they do that only when they win a Grammy. I’m sure they’re meditating on Leviticus as we speak. Though I just want to point out – 50, if you’re reading this - you’re a spokesman for Vitamin Water. You have your own drink with them - Formula 50. You even went on “The View” promoting its health benefits. And you’re making $100 million for the endorsement. I know Coca-Cola supposedly originally had cocaine in it. And they do own Vitamin Water. But I think it’s a stretch to assume that they’re going to want you promoting their drinks if people are afraid that you’re possibly putting something illicit into that oddly-yellow Energy Water. No one’s going to believe you got all that energy just from the b vitamins and guarana. Just a thought.

God I want to be Teri Hatcher. And that’s one of the top three sentences I never thought I’d say, right after “God I want to be a condor” and “God I want to be an ottoman.” But I want to be Teri Hatcher because she got paid $2.4 million just to endorse one of those stupid lip plumpers that you see advertised in the back of Cosmo. I guess I should amend that – I wish I were Teri Hatcher, until yesterday. Because yesterday Teri got sued by Hydroderm for breach of contract after they found out she was already endorsing City Cosmetics, including their City Lips lip plumper, thus violating the no competition clause in her contract. As a result, Hydroderm is suing Hatcher for $2.4 million – though Hatcher’s lawyer says it’s really all Hydroderm’s fault.

Hydroderm wants Teri Hatcher to put her money where her mouth is. The skin-care company, which boasts that its products are “better than Botox,” filed a $2 million breach-of-contract lawsuit Tuesday against the Desperate Housewives star, claiming she wrongfully promoted another firm’s product.

The former Bond girl was photographed in association with the competitor’s products and agreed to be interviewed about using City Cosmetics products, including its centerpiece City Lips lip plumper, which directly competes with Hydroderm’s lip enhancer, the suit states. Apparently, Hatcher had signed with City Cosmetics beforehand, and Hydroderm wouldn’t have entertained her as a celebrity sponsor if it had known about the deal, the company claims.

“Despite having to deal with a frustrating series of changes in the ownership and management of Hydroderm over the last several years, Teri Hatcher has more than fully complied with all of her contractual obligations over the course of the relationship,” her counsel said in a statement to E! News. Hatcher’s rep also said they are going after the remaining cash she is owed under contract, as well as compensatory and punitive damages to make up for Hydroderm’s “outrageous accusations.”

[From E! News]

I’m still really unclear about how Teri’s lawyer thinks she’s owed money. He obviously didn’t get into specifics, but even if Hydroderm had messed-up corporate issues, how does that hold Teri any less responsible for breaking her non-competition clause by failing to disclose that she had already signed on with City Cosmetics before signing with Hydroderm? It sounds like he’s just trying to distract the public and point the blame anywhere else that he can.

The fact that anyone is willing to pay Teri Hatcher $2.4 million to endorse a beauty product is either incredibly depressing or incredibly hopeful, depending on how you look at it. It’s depressing that there’s people that find the pulled-as-tight-as-a-pair-of-pantyhose face attractive and a good way to sell beauty products, but it’s hopeful in that even odd, fake looking people can be perceived as beautiful. I guess. I’m trying to come up with a silver lining that doesn’t make it sound like I’m totally slamming the way Teri Hatcher looks. Did it work at all?

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Teri at the Enchanted premiere in Hollywood on November 17th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Who knew Will Smith was so boring? Though he’s generally considered a pretty nice, entertaining guy to be around, apparently one Japanese reporter doesn’t agree. He nodded off during Will’s press conference. To be fair, I’m told those things can go on for hours. And let’s be honest, while I love Will Smith, once you’ve seen about three of his movies, you’ve essentially seen them all. But TMZ never loses a chance to make a celeb sound bad – even a nice one.

Who needs bedtime stories when you have Will Smith?!

The Fresh Prince held a press conference in Japan today, where one sleep-deprived (or extremely bored) reporter was caught catching some zzzs while Smith rambled on about “I Am Legend.”

Surprisingly, the ever charming Will didn’t seem to mind. He must be used to it.

[From TMZ.com]

You can see the video here (you have to scroll down, TMZ doesn’t do permalinks). It is pretty funny– Will Smith really does seem like the nicest guy around. Somehow everyone’s attention is drawn to the sleeping reporter and he’s woken up. Will comments, “I appreciate that you fell asleep, and I want to have a picture with you.” And then the two pose, Smith slumping over on the reporter’s shoulder.

Will gave an interesting interview to “60 Minutes” on Sunday where he talked about growing up in Philadelphia and the early days of his success. He made a pretty good argument for why it’s good to work hard and have to wait and mature before you become financially successful – he blew six million dollars. Yeah turns out Will, who always seems to have it so together, wasn’t always good with finances.

Will Smith, one of Philadelphia’s most famous sons, talked about his sudden success while at Overbrook High on 60 Minutes last night. “You don’t want to have a hit record on the radio when you’re in high school,” he said.

It seemed so easy - until the IRS came knocking, asking for millions. “So, you went through five, six million dollars?” interviewer Steve Kroft asked.

“Probably, yeah,” said Smith.

[From Philly.com]

In a weird way, that actually makes me feel a bit better. Will Smith seems awesome, but way too perfect. I saw an interview with him about ten years ago on some local television station where the interviewer tried to find something about Smith that wasn’t perfect. He had Will go through a series of random tasks, like touching his toes, cooking a hotdog, and finally caught him being less-than-perfect when he asked Smith to brush his teeth. Turns out, Will doesn’t brush in a circular fashion like you’re supposed to. He just goes for the plain back and forth action. So really, when you combine the teeth with the blowing six million dollars and making a reporter fall asleep, I don’t feel all that intimidated anymore. So now I can totally have his babies. Oops.

I’m not sure if this is awful or oddly sensible. According to columnist Bill Zwecker of the Chicago Sun-Times, the recent BFF reunion between Paris Hilton and Britney Spears wasn’t all about reliving their crotch-flashing days of yesteryear. Apparently Paris actually got down to business and told Britney what’s what. Yeah I know you’re sitting there thinking either that’s bull and/or who the hell is Paris Hilton to give anyone advice? Both fair. But I will point out that Britney seems completely incapable of taking advice from anyone respectable, be they judges, childcare professionals, her parents, mental health experts… it’s a really long list, you get the point. Maybe Britney needs someone who’s on her level… or down at her level… to get through to her. Really, how much worse could Paris possible make things at this point?

A little birdie who was in the same room as Paris Hilton and Britney Spears filled me in on an intriguing chat the hotel princess and pop star had in Los Angeles Saturday, before those paparazzi flashbulbs created an explosion of light at Spears’ 26th birthday celebration. It may seem funny, famed party girl Hilton giving advice to the obviously troubled entertainer, but that’s exactly what happened.

As Spears sipped a couple of apple martinis (while Hilton downed apple juice), the former ‘’star” of her own sex video reportedly handed out some sage suggestions, indicating she may have learned from her mistakes. Among the points Hilton made: Spears needs to cut back on her social life (something the singer supposedly dismissed out of hand); she should revamp her entire management team, and, according to Hilton, ”only hire the very top agents, publicists, managers and assistants money can buy.”

[From the Chicago Sun-Times]

Paris also told Britney that she can’t listen to her friends, at least in terms of her career. Even though they were in the same room, Paris told Brit “You have to listen to people who truly are experts in entertainment. You can’t be listening to friends, no matter how good or loyal they are, to tell you how to run your career.” I’m guessing that the “little birdie” who passed on the conversation didn’t do so verbatim. I tried reading those two sentences to myself in Paris’s flat affect, and it still sounded far too eloquent. But if Paris said anything along those lines, good for her. And you know that when Paris Hilton is looking smart and mature compared to you, your life is really in the gutter. Aside from a near-death experience, I can’t imagine what else could possibly jar Britney out of her grand delusion.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Paris and Britney at a party hosted by Sharon Stone at the Scandinavian Style Mansion on Britney’s birthday. Incidentally, Brit was also accused of stealing four white coats from designer Katja Berglund at the party. Not sure how that plays into Paris’ plan. Header image thank to Splash Photos. Bottom photo thanks to PR Photos.

David Beckham recently came down and played a game of soccer in New Zealand, met some Maori and ate out. Now it seems that the tablescraps from his fast food jaunts are worth more than a fresh burger. A lot more.

Soccer superstar David Beckham’s backwash is a hot commodity, with memorabilia hunters in New Zealand bidding up to $5000 for a partly drunk Coke bottle.

One seller is offering for sale a Coke bottle from which the soccer star allegedly drank during his recent visit to the country.

In an effort to attract bids, the seller notes on the Trademe online auction site that the bottle is still one quarter full.

“Mostly backwash I would imagine,” the seller says in answer to a query.

The bottle - which has attracted one bid of $5000 - is said to have been left on a table by Beckham after he ate at a fast-food restaurant in Wellington.

The seller said buyers are welcome to do a DNA test to prove the authenticity of the product, but also provides a picture of themselves with Beckham.

Melbourne Herald Sun

Ew, gross. The report of a $5,000 offer is greatly exaggerated, since if you view the listing it’s at $50 with no offers at all. Are you a true Beckham fan, because buying a bottle of backwashed, warm Coke would have to be the ultimate proof.

Becks also ate fried chicken, coleslaw and corn at a fast food joint in Wellington, and the cutlery and scraps were also put up for auction. I’m guessing that fried chicken is rarely on teh menu when posh is doing teh cooking. Or instructing someone else to do the cooking. She doesn’t strike me as the baking type.

Beckham played while in New Zealand with a broken rib. What, you can play a demonstration match with a broken rib but you can’t play out your multimillion dollar Galaxy contract with just a sore knee?

Beck’s left New Zealand and caught the first Spice Girls concert, and gave the girls a gift that should make them very, very happy.

We’re used to David Beckham splashing out on presents for his other half.

But Becks surprised his wife and the rest of the Spice Girls when he bought £50,000 of stunning diamond-encrusted bracelets for them all.

Posh told us: “He knows I’m really nervous about him seeing me back on stage, so he bought us all these bracelets for good luck. It’s like the old days. David spent a lot of time around the girls when we first got together - it’s as though he married all of us. He’s the original Spice Boy.”

Mirror

A diamond bracelet? For each of them? That is pretty generous, when most people go on holiday all you get is a t-shirt, or a keyring.

Picture note by Celebitchy David Beckham is shown at his youth soccer clinic on 8/17/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

Scarlett Johansson was recently featured in US magazine in one of those articles where they take a before and after picture and speculate on what you’ve had done to your face. Which is always fun in the case of say, Michael Jackson, but less interesting when it’s just a picture of Scarlett’s nose from different angles.

However, it is unusual for someone to feel so strongly about their plastic surgery (or lack of it) that they get the lawyers involved. Remember when Victoria Beckham denied her boob job, before having to admit in court that she had in fact had one? Why don’t people admit they’ve have surgery? If you’re improving your appearance, you want people to notice don’t you? If they don’t notice isn’t it a waste of money?

The statement from Scarlett’s rep and from Scarlett herself is one of the most strongly worded denials I’ve ever heard.

“US Weekly’s cover story regarding Scarlett Johansson and its clear implication that she has had plastic or cosmetic surgery on her nose is an outrageous and defamatory fabrication lacking any conceivable basis or proof, despite vehement denials by Ms. Johansson prior to publication,” reads a statement from her rep, exclusively to OK!. “Not surprisingly, US magazine cannot provide the dates when she supposedly had this surgery, who performed the surgery, or what was supposedly done — all because there simply is no truth to the story. The publication made a pathetic attempt to validate its story by using two cover photos of Scarlett that were taken years apart with obviously different make-up and lighting, and then relying on an “expert’s opinion” (based solely on looking at the two photos) on what “might” have been done. It wasn’t.”

And Scarlett herself has this to say to OK!:

“I have always been straightforward with the press regarding my body image and I am very concerned that my fans (and perhaps even my employers) will feel mislead. Thus, I feel compelled to take immediate legal action against US Weekly.”

OK! Magazine

Did you get that? Scarlett has absolutely not had a nose job. Ever. And she’ll get sue happy with you if you even suggest it.

Interestingly, the statement only addresses a possible nose job, it doesn’t deny that Scarlett has ever had plastic surgery. I wouldn’t dare suggest that it is because she has had any, because I’ll be sued, but it’s probably because US magazine could prove that a chemical peel, or hair colour, or fake nails is in fact cosmetic surgery. When really it’s just what we all do - they’re called beauty secrets for a reason! We all need a little helping hand to enhance our natural assets.

Note by Celebitchy: I looked at a lot of pictures of Scarlett and I don’t think she had a nose job. If she did it’s incredibly subtle. She is shown below on in March, 2003 and in May and October of this year. Her nose looks slimmer from above, but that’s how it has looked for years.

AOL TV has released a list of the ‘50 Sexiest Women on Television, Ever’. Normally I can’t stand a list that has the title ‘ever’, because it sort of suggests that this is it for sexiness. People are going to keep on being sexy, no matter how much time passes. Or at least I hope so, because otherwise I’m going to have to enjoy sunsets at the beach in my old age, instead of sexy young lifeguards.

The top 50 features a few obvious choices from the past few generations - remember when Teri Hatcher wearing only Superman’s cape became the most searched for image on the Internet? (And when you consider what other raunchiness you can find on the Internet that is quite an accomplishment.)

There’s also Sarah Michelle Gellar, Carmen Electra, Elizabeth Montgomery, Jennifer Aniston, and any Star Trek fan’s favourite Jeri Ryan, aka Seven of Nine.

TV’s Sexiest Women - Ever

1. Pamela Anderson - Baywatch
2. Farrah Fawcett - Charlie’s Angel’s
3. Lynda Carter - Wonder Woman
4. Heather Locklear - Melrose Place, Dynasty, T. J. Hooker
5. Eva Longoria - Desperate Housewives
6. Diana Rigg - The Avengers
7. Barbara Eden - I Dream Of Jeannie
8. Katherine Heigl - Grey’s Anatomy
9. Catherine Bach - The Duke’s of Hazzard
10. Tina Louise - Gilligan’s Island

AOL

Oh, Pamela Anderson back before she became a big breasted joke, running down a beach in slow motion in that skimpy red bathing suit. She deserves the sexiest woman on television crown, she’s the reason that Baywatch is the most watched show in the world. I doubt it’s for the storylines.