Last time I counted, I had ten fingers I could put stuff on. I’m under the general impression that this rule of thumb (haha) holds true for most people. Last time I inspected Ashlee Simpson’s hands (which was about two weeks ago when she came over for TV dinners and girl talk) she had all her fingers. So you’d think that if she really wanted to wear a sparkly ring, she could pick one of the nine digits that doesn’t cause the flutter of a million gossip columnists’ hearts. But why do that when you can cause a big ‘ol scene by shoving some knockoff bauble from Claire’s on the ring finger on your left hand? Poor Ashlee Simpson’s rep has been working overtime since she wore what appeared to be an engagement ring on her left hand on New Year’s Eve. But it’s all just a happy coincidence/mistake/ classic case of a Simpson girl forgetting the difference between left and right.

Ashlee Simpson and Fall Out Boy rocker Pete Wentz are not getting hitched, their reps tell Usmagazine.com.

Talk of their engagement started after the singer rocked a ring on her left finger while celebrating the new year at Miami’s Shore Club with Wentz.

But her rep tells Us, “Ashlee is not engaged” – a denial confirmed by Wentz’s rep.

This isn’t the first time engagement rumors have surrounded the long-time couple. In July, Simpson’s rep denied reports they were on the way to the altar.”

[From Us Weekly]

I’m sure the timing of the accidental ring placement was totally coincidental. Entertainemntwise mentioned that, “Ashlee herself helped the speculation along when she used her ring finger to flip the paps as she took a stroll along Miami beach with the Fall Out Boy rocker.” I’m sure that was purely accidental. Just like the ring placement. It most certainly had nothing to do with the fact that Ashlee seems to think she’s not getting enough attention of late. Agent Bedhead noted that Ashlee was supposedly pretty pissed that no one paid attention to her new video last week, due to the fiasco caused by Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy. Well if you don’t want to get knocked up, a fake engagement is probably the next-best thing. Stay tuned next week when Ashlee will no doubt debut a little bit of bloating, after which her people will anonymously call Us Weekly with fake pregnancy rumors.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are shown in South Beach, Miami on 1/1/08, thanks to PRPhotos.

Happy New Year from Paris Hilton [Gallery of the Absurd]
Best headline ever: Cate Blanchett Has Suri Hair [Dlisted]
Tyra Banks Wants to be a Mommy. I wonder if she knows you can’t feed babies McDonalds [Bossip]
Marcia Cross: trashcan queen [Grumpy Old Indian Man]
Juno is fantastic![Pajiba]
Resolve to waste more time at work this year with a celebrity fantasy league at Fafarazzi [Fafarazzi]
Cindy Margolis is a hard worker [Celebslam]
Sweet! Mischa Barton starts losing gigs due to her recent DUI [Yeeeah!]
Mandy Moore Brings In The New Year In Raleigh [I’m Not Obsessed]
Cash Warren Takes His Sugar Momma Jessica Alba for a Walk [The Bastardly]
Inside Katherine Heigl’s wedding to Josh Kelley [In Case You Didn’t Know]
Christina Milian Bikini Pictures (Site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
Britney Spears Speeds at 90 mph [Hollywood Rag]
Shanna Moakler dishes about The CW’s Crowned [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Gwyneth Paltrow continues to charm the pants off of everyone [Agent Bedhead]
Elisha Cuthbert does the bikini/middle finger thing [The Blemish]
Jessica Simpson is getting back to her roots. Country music. [Webster’s Is My Bitch]
Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and Sean Preston Spears on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post’s “Baby New Year” [Cityrag]
A former Miss Arizona is accused of tying up her 24-year-old ex-boyfriend with plastic cable and duct tape, and holding him captive. Or what Britney Spears calls a Thursday night [Crazy Days and Nights]
LC and Audrina Head Out of The Hills For NYE [Popsugar]
Kim Kardashian’s Big Ass New Year’s Party [The Grumpiest]
Coco Sports the Beav Cleave. I like that a lot better than camel toe. [CelebNewsWire]
Britney Spears makes more good decisions [Evil Beet]
Despite (or maybe because of) the DUI, Mischa Barton still thinks she can act like a diva [CelebWarship]
Miley Cyrus Fans Are Hardcore. And kind of frightening. [Glitterati Gossip]
Reese & Jake Take The Kids On A Hike. Apparently with paparazzi in tow [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Before celebs had stylists [Popbytes]
Jason Statham Has Trouble Living Out of Peril [A Socialite’s Life]
Janet Jackson “Feedback” Music Video Preview [Just Jared]
Apparently all celebs do over the holidays is wear bikinis. Here’s Kelly Brook [Egotastic!]

Knut the polar bear was one of the cutest news stories this year. After being born at the Berlin zoo, he was rejected by his mother, and an animal rights activist almost suggested he be killed, before spawning a range of merchandise and rasing zoo attendence to record levels. He also has a journalist writing a blog about him, a few hit records recorded in his honor and a weekly TV show, not to mention a Vanity Fair cover. If only I was as cute as a polar bear.

Now Ash R. Shah is making a movie about the polar bear’s busy life, and who is a more obvious choice as the voice of the bear than Suri Cruise.

Shah hopes to use the voice of the 18-month-old in an animated movie version of Knut, the world-famous polar bear, after he offered a German zoo $5 million for the rights to the animal’s story.

Shah says, “With (Knut’s) friendly character, he’s serves as an ambassador for the Earth’s problems — climate change and the melting polar ice caps. A movie about Knut would affect people all over the world.

“Suri could speak the English voice of Knut.”

San Francisco Chronicle

Now, I don’t think director Ash has thought this through. While Suri is undoubtably a box office drawcard, she is also only 18 months old. She can’t learn the lines, nor can she read them, and she probably can’t pronounce all the words.

Still, it would be great publicity for the film, but I think the old adage of not working with children or animals applies here. Suri might be box office gold, but that’s yet to be proven. And have you ever tried to convince a toddler to do what they’re told? If you’ve succeeded, email me your secrets to their good behaviour. Also, I suspect her very business savvy parents would be negotiating a pretty good pay packet for their baby girl.

It pays very well to have famous parents!

Note by Celebitchy: I saw Knut recently and people still crowd around to take his picture, but he’s predictably not a cute little bear anymore. He’s nearly full grown. Here’s a photo of Knut taken on 10/31/07, found at Wikipedia and credited to photographer Aconcagua.

Also I know that’s an unflattering header image of Suri, but I was struck how she’s in the exact same pose as Knut with her hand up, being held by the waist with a bottle.

Amy Winehouse is planning to renew her wedding vows in what is described as a ‘low-key ceremony’ - probably because how highbrow can you make a ceremony that is going to take place in prison?

Amy’s less-than-charming husband Blake Fielder-Civil is currently in prison serving time for attempting to pervert the course of justice and grievous bodily harm (GBH). Blake is also accused of attempting to bribe James King into dropping the GBH charges.

Amy is planning to visit Blake on Friday and the couple will reaffirm their commitment to each other in a low-key service.

A source told Britain’s Daily Star newspaper: “When Blake was first arrested, they both declared their undying love for each other and promised each other it would be good to renew their vows. And the time feels right to do that now. They are missing each other terribly.

“Amy wants them to repeat the same vows they took when they married in Miami last May.”

Stuff

Amy is said to be concerned about Blake’s fragile ego, and feels he needs a boost before his January 18 court hearing. I suspect that Blake would prefer some kind of chemical boost from, say, heroin, rather than a morale boost.

While Amy and Blake are clearly crazy in love, emphasis on ‘crazy’, I can’t say that renewing my wedding vows while the large man who’s been having sex with my husband in prison looks on is my idea of romantic.

Amy is currently hiding out on the island of Mistique in singer Bryan Adams’ house. He’s no longer a rocker but turned to photography, did you know? Did you care? I suspect that the Carribbean is lovely at this time of year, and also that Amy is very happy to be as far as possible away from the London police department.

Amy is said to be attempting to kick her drug habit while staying in Mystique.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Amy Winehouse is shown in the header image with her husband Blake Fielder-Civil on 9/14/07 leaving her birthday party. She is shown below outside of Thames Magistrates Court on 11/10/07.

It’s the holiday season, still, and as much as I love to spend time with my family I am looking forward to some quiet time. Next year I’m planning on following Angelina Jolie’s lead - just make a phone call, don’t visit.

A source tells the National Enquirer that Jolie called her father (Jon Voight) while spending Christmas in New Orleans with partner Brad Pitt and their four children. The friend reveals, “It was a short call, but it meant the world to both of them. It was something for them to build on, and Jon couldn’t say enough good things about the way his daughter is conducting her life.”

San Francisco Chronicle

There’s another story that says Angelina wrote her father a letter rather than rang. We don’t really know the extent of the split - Does he get an annual Christmas card with a picture of the family? Does he get an annual phone call with a quick update before she shoves a kid that can’t talk onto the phone?

Angelina and father Jon Voight haven’t been close since he gave a June 2002 interview discussing her ’serious mental problems’, but this last November he praised her in interviews, saying he is always thinking of “Brad and the kids. I’m sending my love that way.”

Angelina perhaps plans to adopt another child in 2008, having got over her fear of motherhood.

‘They put him in my arms and I stared at him and I started crying and he smiled,’ she tells Hollywood TV.

‘I hadn’t held children before in my life. I was always considered so dark and I thought maybe I shouldn’t be someone’s mom because I’m not so sure about myself.’

Now Magazine

I think every mother fears that she won’t be a good mother. While Angelina seems to come under a lot of criticism for her parenting, I don’t think she has any huge flaws in her parenting style. The worst criticism you could aim at her is that she moves them around a lot. Of course, when they turn into hormonal teenagers and start researching their mother’s past, she’s going to have a hard time explaining that kiss with her brother, having sex with knives, and riding a motorcycle without a helmet.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Images are obviously old ones of Angelina and Jon Voight together.

Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon are slowing coming out of the relationship closet after a much-ridiculed public clinch in Rome, Italy that seemed a little too conveniently timed with the release of their film Rendition. Then they were spotted out in Napa Valley in November enjoying a romantic weekend getaway at an exclusive resort. The two were even said to have had a quickie in a first class airplane bathroom around that time, but the only proof was a supposed eyewitness that saw them go in minutes apart and look guilty afterwards.

In the past week Reese and Jake have been photographed out together twice - getting coffee and going for a hike with her two children. Jake was seen carrying four year-old Deacon on his shoulders during the hike. The same photo agency captured both moments, so they either have an exclusive deal with them or they’re particularly good at stalking Jake and Reese. I would say it was a stalking situation since Reese looks incredibly annoyed in the photos as has had public clashes with the paparazzi in the past.

There’s a story in this week’s Star Magazine titled misleadingly “A Ring for Reese!” It’s all about how Jake visited a Cartier jeweler with his sister Maggie and supposedly checked out engagement rings. He went away with a three thousand dollar necklace that looks suspiciously like two wedding rings entwined:

With sister Maggie in tow, [Jake Gyllenhaal] paid a hush-hush visit to Cartier in Beverly Hills on December 13. And Star has learned exclusively that he spent two whole hours checking out the ring bling!

“Jake was adorable,” a Cartier clerk reveals. “He was like a teenager with a crush, asking his sister, ‘Which one should I get?’ He kept talking about Reese and how she’s classy and fun.”

But after pouring over the diamond dazzlers and pondering a pair of $3,800 Love rings, Jake put the ring thing on hold and instead snagged a $3,050 necklace from the store’s Love Collection…

[Jake also] bought [Ava, 8, and Deacon, 4, Reese’s children with her ex husband Ryan Phillippe] the season’s hottest toy, the Nintendo Wii.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, January 7, 2008]

We got a Wii for Christmas here and I swear they developed that thing with the idea of helping kids exercise while they’re playing video games. You have to swing your arms so hard, although it’s a lot of fum.

So it seems like a lot of photos of Jake and Reese are coming out all at once. I checked the DVD release date for their film, Rendition, and it’s not out until February 19. That’s over six weeks away, a lifetime in the news cycle. It must be true love.

Britney Spears has given her 16 year-old knocked up sister some seemingly good advice. She told her not to marry her baby’s father and end up like her.

Britney’s mom is said to have made sure that she didn’t hear about Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy before the press did because Britney has a big mouth and she was worried that the news would get out. That sounds like a legitimate concern considering that she’s dating a paparazzo:

“Whatever you do, do not get married! You are too young and you will ruin your life! Do not make a mistake and end up like me!”

That’s the shocking advice Britney Spears has given her little sister Jamie Lynn, who’s 16 and pregnant, the Enquirer has learned exclusively.

Now a single mom with two young boys, Britney is desperately worried about her sister’s future - and livid with her mother for keeping Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy a secret from her, sources say…

“Her mom Lynne didn’t tell [Britney] Jamie Lynn was expecting because she was afraid Britney would leak the news - or that she’d tell one of her friends who’d let the story get out.”

Frantic, Britney tracked Jamie Lynn down at Lynne’s home in Kentwood, LA - and the two sisters broke down in tears.

“When she got Jamie Lynn on the phone, Britney started to cry, and so did Jamie Lynn,” said the source.

“Britney told her ‘Do not marry Casey. Look at the position I’m in.’

“She told Jamie Lynn that she’ll always be there for her - and when she’s ‘had it’ with Lynne, Jamie Lynn can come live with her.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 7, 2008]

That’s ripe coming from Britney. It’s as if she blames Kevin for the fact that she can’t be bothered to spend time with her sons and/or hire a qualified nanny. She would be a lousy mom even if she was still married and at least the divorce helped Kevin step up to the plate, joint in hand or not.

Kevin is said to have also offered his support to Jamie Lynn. OK! Magazine reports that he thinks of her as a little sister and that “he just wants to be part of the support system.” He’s sure getting a lot of good press for a failed wannabe rapper that recently slept with Paris Hilton.

It seems like Jamie Lynn is going to have a troubled life whether she choses to get married or not. If she doesn’t want to end up like Britney she’s better off not talking to her much.

Header image is of Britney and Jamie Lynn together in October when a woman was harassing them. Thanks to WENN. Amazingly, there are no new photos of Britney today, but it’s still early. Give it a couple of hours.

This week’s Star Magazine has an interesting story about how Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo might be faking their relationship for the sake of an upcoming Super Bowl commercial. Jessica and Tony are said to be in talks with Pizza Hut to star in a big budget Super Bowl commercial together and their whole fauxmance has supposedly been orchestrated by Jessica’s controlling father, Joe, for publicity purposes. It could be true that they’re dating and genuinely like each other, but either way they’re milking it for all it’s worth:

Insiders are whispering that Jessica Simpson’s manager dad, Joe, is the mastermind behind his daughter’s “romance” with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo - and their sudden, very public relationship may just be the setup for an attention-grabbing Super Bowl commercial!

“It seems that Joe set them up to make sure Jess got good publicity,” an insider tells Star. “She’s got a new country album coming out, but her movie career is stalled, so she’s doing what her dad tells her will be good for her image and to keep her name in the papers…”

[Jessica and Tony Romo are] reportedly in talks to Pizza Hut to do a special commercial that will air during the Super Bowl in February. And the insider tells Star that Joe Simpson even offered Tony, 27, a small role in his daughter’s next movie.

“He told Tony that it would be a good opportunity for both of them PR-wise,” says another source. “It isn’t hard for them to look like the perfect couple - they’re like a real life Ken and Barbie.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, January 7, 2007]

This makes a lot of sense considering that Tony Romo is one of the very few suitors of one of his daughters that Joe Simpson approves of. Joe is even said to have set Jessica up with Tony, and although the papers make it out like Tony called Joe up and asked to date his daughter I bet it was the other way around. It doesn’t seem like much of an incentive for Tony to be offered a role in Simpson’s next movie, though.

Jessica seemed to be a bad luck charm for Tony. The Dallas Cowboys quarterback performed his worse game - ever - when she was in the stands in December. That makes it seem as if he has at least some feelings for her. Romo quickly recovered from his slump, and his statistics improved for his next game. He told the press that Jessica was also in the stands that time, but she was never shown on the jumbotron and he wouldn’t say where she was when asked.

When I saw the first few words of Kanye’s latest blog entry on WeSmirch (a gossip news aggregate where I get a lot of stories) I thought he was talking about a video game. He said “When I was in Europe I would play this game for hours and hours… it helped me zone out.” It sounds like he’s talking about World of Warcraft, but he’s lauding how relaxing and mind-numbing it is to play the classic board game Connect Four, in which you take turns with another player dropping colored discs into a grid until one of you gets four in a row.

West blogged for the first time since the tragic death of his mother, Dr. Donda West, after plastic surgery in early November. He titled the entry “Thank you all for your support,” but didn’t mention the tough time he went through or his mother’s passing. He just talked about how he loves to play Connect Four. He also included these pictures playing with Beyonce, and said she kicked his ass in the game nine times in a row. He did beat her once though.

Ironically, Kanye and Beyonce were at the opening of Jay-Z’s 4040 club and casino in Las Vegas. There were plenty of high stakes games, gourmet food and expensive drinks these two millionaires could have enjoyed that night, but instead they were involved in a marathon Connect Four game outside of the action.

When I was in Europe I would play this game for hours and hours… it helped me zone out. Everybody would get envolved… Derrick Dudley (Common’s manager) and Consequence were the best other than me… I beat Lexi… Don C beat Jay… Tony Williams beat Common… but every now and then people would speak of this legendary connect 4 champion……….. BEYONCE!!! I had 2 play her!…so last night at Jay’s new 40/40 club in Las Vegas (which is sidebar, crazy big w/ 24krt gold flooring, Black Jack tables, $500 slot machines,the biggest projection screen in the universe and the best turkey burgers I’ve ever had in my life) she beat me 9 times in a row! (and I didn’t even spaz lol) here’s a photo of the only game I won!

[From Kanye West’s Blog]

Kanye has also performed since his mother passed, openly breaking down on stage when singing “Hey Momma,” but hasn’t said anything about it publicly except to issue a statement asking for privacy. He seems to be moving on with his life and enjoying the simple things again. Welcome back Kanye. Oh and Wikipedia says that you can win Connect Four if you place your first chip in the middle column, but it seems more complicated than that.

There’s a rumor that Kanye, 30, plans to marry his fiance Alexis Phifer, 31, after the holidays.

Update: Here’s the Connect Four commercial from the 80s. I remember this so well! (Yes, I’m old.) Thanks so much to commentor Max for mentioning it:

Lindsay Lohan’s mom Dina, who once was rumored to have received manual stimulation under the table at a restaurant, who lied about her nonexistent past as a Rockette, and who also owed up to telling George Clooney she was Lindsay’s assistant instead of admitting to be her mom, sure takes the high road when it comes to her daughter. She is said to have called up the mother of Lindsay’s ex boyfriend, snowboarder Riley Giles, and to have chewed her out in response to a tell-all interview Riley gave British paper News of The World after Lindsay unceremoniously dumped him upon returning to LA from rehab in Utah. How did Dina insult Riley’s mom? She called her a bad mom. I wonder if it was all filmed for her reality show in which she’s shown exploiting her other two children.

Lindsay’s recent ex, Riley Giles, sold the story of their relationship to Britain’s News of the World on Dec. 23 for a rumored $120,000. That so steamed Dina that she got on the phone to his mom, reports Us Weekly.

“Dina insulted her parenting,” says a source.

Ouch!

[From NY Daily News]

And the Daily News has more evidence today that little Lindsay is scrapping for cash. They say she is predictably getting paid around $50k for toting around the tobacco cessation product Arriva, although both Lindsay and the company deny that any money has changed hands. She’s also supposedly begging her friends for money again. Along with being seen looking cuddly with three different men in Italy in a 24 hour period, she was also observed toting a Prada shopping bag. I wonder where all her money is going? Maybe a reality show is next on her agenda, too. It’s slightly less demeaning than whoring yourself out for money, although that seems to be easier for Lindsay than doing any real work as an “actress.”

Along with being honored for her “contribution to film,” at the film festival or “a way to bring tourism to our small town” in Capri, Italy, she was also named the worst actress of the year in a poll by AOL Moviefone for her performance in I Know Who Killed Me, and her other film this year, Georgia Rule was runner-up for waste of money for a movie ticket. The Razzie nominations haven’t even been announced yet this year. Keep begging Lindsay, and maybe you better hold on to those purses a little longer before you buy new ones.

Lohan is shown in the header in an image taken in mid December. Dina Lohan is shown on 10/9/06. Who looks better, mother or daughter?