We did a post a little earlier today with Super Bowl XLII commercials featuring celebrities. Here are the “best” commercials, according to the ones I watched and influenced by AOL’s top ten list. The verdict is that they weren’t that great this year. When a talking baby is up near the top of the list you know you’re in trouble. You can watch all the Superbowl commercials at AOL or MySpace.

Bridgestone Squirrel

Budweiser Rocky

Doritos Mousetrap

Bud Lite - Breathe Fire

Fedex Super Bowl Ad: Carrier Pigeons Bad Choice for Shipping
NFL.com: “SuperAd”

E-Trade: Baby

Giant Parade Balloons fight over Coke
Pepsi - “Bob’s House” Completely silent pre-game Ad featuring ASL and based on an in-joke in the deaf community

I was less than impressed (but not really surprised) by Paula Abdul’s pre-Superbowl performance yesterday. What really surprised me was how many people were annoyed and disappointed that she lip synched her new song, “Dance Like There‘s no Tomorrow.” I generally expect that if there’s any significant dancing, the singer probably isn’t really singing. And her old songs - while fun - never exactly sounded like her natural voice to me. It always sounded like she was getting some digital help, like about a billion other singers. Supposedly former pop stars Britney Spears and Nsync never lip-synched through their tough performances back in the day. I can’t vouch for Britney Spears, but there’s an oh-so-slight chance that I caught an Nsync concert or two back in the day. You know, out of pity for younger friends. They huffed and puffed into their microphones enough that I will consider the possibility that they did really sing. But Paula Abdul hasn’t been trudging through two hour performances three times a week for months on end. I doubt her body would be up to it. The fact that she was able to still dance like that is pretty incredible.

Paula Abdul gave Britney Spears a run for her money during a shocking half-time performance at this years Super Bowl.

Visibly lip-synching, the American Idol judge looking sufficiently awkward in her what can only be described as a cringe worthy attempt to reclaim her 90s pop star fame.

Fellow idol judge Randy Jackson joined the now 45-year-old Abdul on stage - playing bass in her latest song, Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow.

[From Entertainmentwise]

One thing to consider when you’re most famous for judging others is that people are going to be pretty harsh on you. And though Paula is generally the most charitable critic on American Idol, people are going to expect that she jumps high over the bar she sets for everyone else. I thought everything about her performance was fine - it just wasn’t spectacular. Or even interesting. “Dance Like There‘s no Tomorrow” - which was produced by fellow “American Idol” judge Randy Jackson - pretty much sounds like all of Paula’s older songs. She wasn’t trying to come out with a new sound - and sampling “Forever Your Girl” at the beginning of the performance didn’t help. I would guess that if her new single gets any airplay, it’ll be more due to the novelty factor that anything else.

Picture Note by JayBird: Images thanks to Splash.

Is conservative radio talk-show host Rush Limbaugh back on painkillers again? Huffington Post is reporting that Limbaugh got a little too up close and personal with Joy Behar, the stand up comedienne and co-host of ABC’s “The View.” At a movie screening in New York, Limbaugh reportedly ‘nuzzled’ with Behar as she was taking off her coat– much to her surprise.

Rush Limbaugh may be dating 31-year old blonde Kathryn Rogers when he is in Florida, but last night in New York he let loose and had a 64-year old redhead on the brain: Joy Behar. On their respective shows this morning, both Regis Philbin and Joy Behar discussed the way Rush (whose escort for the evening was 82-year old Cindy Adams) greeted Joy at last night’s screening of Bob Balaban’s “Bernard and Doris.”

Joy: “All of a sudden this humongous person comes up to me, from the left, a famous person — big guy — and snuggles and nestles my neck. Hello, Joy! And gives me the big kiss….squeezed me to death also.”

Regis had a different spin: “Joy Behar’s face was flushed. She enjoyed it. She LOVED IT!

[From Huffington Post]

The HuffPo posted this video of Joy discussing her unexpected brush with Limbaugh on Friday morning’s episode of “The View.” I can’t read minds, but I wouldn’t say that she “loved it.” In fact, the whole thing seemed like it shocked and embarrassed her.

This would be a most unusual pairing: Limbaugh has been the abrasive voice of conservative talk show radio since the late 1980s. In 2003, the host tearfully admitted, on-air, that he had been abusing prescription pain killers (after the National Enquirer had already reported it). He came under fire recently for his claims that Michael J. Fox was exaggerating his symptoms of Parkinson’s disease for sympathy. Joy Behar is quite vocal about her liberalism, and recently grilled Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul on “The View” about his stance on abortion. Joy claims that after Limbaugh held her in an extended hug and nuzzled her neck, he advised her to “be bold.” “It was the best advice anyone has ever given me,” she said, rolling her eyes. Behar has a live-in boyfriend and has vowed never to marry again.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Remember when Rush kissed Mary Lynn Rajskub of 24?

“American Idol” season five runner-up Katharine McPhee, 23, got married to her boyfriend of nearly three years Nick Cokas, 42, at Beverly Hills Presbyterian Church on Saturday. The pair never officially announced their engagement, though “sources” said they were engaged in November, and the pair were caught checking out wedding cakes in May. Several of McPhee’s fellow “American Idol” contestants attended the wedding, including Kellie Pickler and Mandisa.

“(Nick) is the love of my life,” McPhee gushed to PEOPLE. “This is a once in a lifetime occasion and everything is just perfect.”

McPhee wore a strapless ivory Manuel Mota gown and Neil Lane jewels (diamond and platinum chandelier earrings and diamond and platinum bracelets), while Cokas wore an Armani tuxedo. Fellow season five Idol contestants Kellie Pickler and Mandisa were among the 305 guests on hand for the nuptials.

McPhee and Cokas met in 2005 when they performed in a Los Angeles theater production of The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. Their union began as a friendship and blossomed when McPhee auditioned for American Idol later that year.

The two quietly got engaged last year when Cokas presented her with a custom-designed round brilliant cut platinum and diamond engagement ring.

[From People]

The service was 45 minutes long and included a gospel choir. Katharine’s bridesmaids wore floor-length pink dresses, and the church was filled with peach, white, pinks, and purple roses along with pink cherry blossoms and green hydrangeas. It sounds like they went all out. I really hope we get to see wedding photos soon. I’m sure Katharine made a gorgeous bride.

Though Katharine’s husband Nick Cokas is 19 years her senior, he’s definitely not her sugar daddy. He’s a broadway actor who also founded a small production company. Though Katharine seems a little on the younger side for getting married, they’ve been together long enough, and they always seem happy when they’re photographed out and about. Congrats to them both!

Picture Note by JayBird: Header image (the only photo available so far of the wedding) thanks to Splash. Here’s Katharine and Nick

The Scientology privacy curtain seems to be getting pulled back further and further lately. Either that or thetans are taking over my body and my perception is all warped. I’m guessing it’s a little bit of both. In September Kirstie Alley gave an abbreviation-laced interview to Scientology magazine SOURCE. (Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard was known as SOURCE). In it, Alley talks about how she used to dislike people so much that she loved animals a lot more than most humans. Though to be fair, I feel the same way about cheese. Anyway, apparently that was all changed after a little time at some abbreviation/lingo-filled Scientology summer camp.

“So this experience at Flag changed me totally. I can’t say enough about it, because I literally walked in the door of Flag four weeks ago as one person, and I’m walking out an entirely different being, and I mean ENTIRELY different.

My viewpoint on the fourth dynamic and mankind and other people changed. You know, I liked animals more than people! OK, I liked certain people, but the idea of mankind’-it really irritated me!

“But since being here in the AO and receiving some incredible auditing, combined with seeing the OT Summit, I started taking more and more responsibility for mankind. Then I realized why mankind upset me so much -it’s because I wasn’t taking responsibility!

“Now, I have genuine affinity for mankind and I’m up to taking genuine responsibility for mankind.

[From SOURCE, transcription found at http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Secrets/Kirstie/]

You know if Kirstie Alley were one fifth as popular with the paparazzi as Britney Spears is, she’d be locked up at UCLA right now. Luckily for Kirstie, no one gives a damn about her outside of Jenny Craig and the Celebrity Centre. (Don’t forget the “re” in Centre, so you remember that it’s old fashioned and/or classy). Reading through any propaganda put out by Scientologists requires some major Wikipedia usage. I won’t even bother to explain most of the made-up crap terms they talk about. Suffice it to say that Flag is the name of their big church in Clearwater, where they hold a lot of their seminars/brain washes. Fox News also points out that Kirstie says she’s a Solo Nots Auditor. Big deal. My cat’s a solo nuts auditor after I took him to the vet for surgery, but he doesn’t make a big deal about it.

Alley, whose career has been mostly a muddle since “Cheers” went off the air in the 1990s, is described in the piece as a “Solo NOTS Auditor, Diamond Meritorious of the IAS and a founding member of the Super Expansion Project.”

What does all that mean?

Well, Solo Nots Auditor is a high-level Scientologist who spends several hours a day, according to their glossary, exorcising “body thetans” or aliens who are stuck to their bodies.

Diamond Meritorious is more interesting. This means Alley has donated a staggering $5 million to the International Association of Scientology.

[From Fox News]

Sometimes the Scientologists make it so easy to mock them that it’s not even fun. Give me a challenge, make me think a little! When the jokes just present themselves eagerly it leads to a very dull day. Both Kirstie Alley and Tom Cruise have talked a lot about how Scientologists are the only people who can really help the rest of us. Something about saving us from our own thetan souls. Ian Gurvitz of the Huffington Posts noted:

No longer plagued by original thought, discursive reasoning, or any financial assets whatsoever, they have become the kind of people who are so right in the mind that when they drive past an automobile accident, they know they are the only one in the world who can help. That is because they will be driving a combination ambulance and tow truck, and will have been trained as an insurance adjuster and EMT technician.

[From the Huffington Post]

Thank goodness we have Kirstie Alley again. When she was still a messed up/pissy Scientologist this past summer, she probably would have driven right by our wrecked car, or stopped just long enough to grab our dog out of the front seat. But now that she’s gone to the Flag AO OT Summit and donated what’s probably amounted to tens of millions of dollars, she’s seen the error of her ways. Now she’ll stop at our wrecked car, administer some thetan auditing, and grab our dog out of the front seat.

Note by Celebitchy: Here are scans of Kirstie’s crazy promotional interview, thanks to professor Dave Touretzky in the Computer Science Department at Carnegie Mellon University. For more background on Scientology, read his article in Razor.

Full page versions

Larger readable versions

Few things are as nauseatingly disgusting to me as the thought of Hugh Hefner having sex. It’s not because he’s old - though that doesn’t help - but skeezy old men who classify their girlfriends (plural) by their hair color and rotate them as such really freak me out. Holly Madison - one of Hef’s current blond trio - has made no secret of the fact that she wants to have Hef’s baby. And I’ve gotta say that, although the idea of ever doing anything to a naked Hugh Hefner terrifies me to my very core - if she’s doing it anyway, birthing a little cash cow probably wouldn’t be the worst decision Holly Madison has ever made.

“There has been lots of trying — lots of trying!” [Madison] told Usmagazine.com at Playboy’s Ninth Annual Super Saturday Night bash in Arizona.

Hefner was tight-lipped when asked if they have plans to tie the knot. “There will certainly be a lot of romantic years ahead, but a wedding we will see,” he told Us.

Next up for the two: Valentine’s Day. “We are just going out to dinner,” she said. “I am trying to think of something creative, but at this point I am just going to save all of my ideas for Christmas cause Valentine’s Day came up fast.”

What does she hope Hefner will get her? “I don’t know,” she said. “I want like a house and a kid.”

[From Us Weekly]

A house is a pretty nice present - especially for Valentine’s Day. I’m pretty sure that if I asked any of the men I’ve dated for a house, they would have given me a lovely crayon drawing of said house. And considering all the conditions that I’m guessing would be attached to Holly Madison’s real estate, I’d prefer the crayon drawing. I guess a kid is a nice Valentine’s Day present if that’s what you’re really looking for. It’s probably not as awesome if it’s a surprise.

Picture Note by JayBird: Header image of Holly Madison (left), Hugh Hefner, and one of Hef’s other girlfriends, Bridget Marquardt at the E! Entertainment and L.A. Direct Magazine’s “Remember to Give Holiday Party” on December 13th. Note that Holly is holding an American Girl Place bag. That is some incredibly weird Playboy swag. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Amy Winehouse’s rehab seems to be coming along nicely, everything considered. Although she had to be taken to the hospital last week and put on an IV due to dehydration, she’s stuck with rehab so far. Her previous record was something like four days. Amy has just completed her eleventh day. The carrot at the end of her stick? The hopes of being able to obtain a travel visa and go to the US so she can perform at the Grammys. Winehouse is also nominated for three awards: album of the year, record of the year, and song of the year. Amy was allowed to leave rehab today and was awarded a travel visa, though it came with several conditions.

Amy Winehouse is set to go to the Grammys, a source close to the singer confirms to Usmagazine.com. She briefly left a London clinic this morning to go to the U.S. embassy to renew her visa, her rep tells Us.

“Yes, that’s true,” the rep says.

Her father Mitch told reporters that she has since returned to the clinic and “has not left for good.”

A source told Us that Winehouse, 24, “is desperate to go and has been told she can go on the condition that she has a minder there and returns to rehab when back in the U.K.”

[From Us Weekly]

Amy is nominated for her single “Rehab” for record of the year and song of the year. That’d be a pretty ironic win. I’d love to hear what she’d say in her speech. She’s the only songwriter listed for that track on the Grammy’s website. I always assumed she’d gotten some help with it - but if anyone knows how to write and sing about rehab - and refusing to go to rehab - it’s Amy Winehouse. I’m not sure if her winning a prestigious award for a song she wrote about refusing to treat addiction would be a good thing or not, given where she is right now. But it’s through actually going to rehab that Amy is able to receive the award if she gets it. Oh the layers of irony.

Picture Note by JayBird: Here’s Amy as she briefly left rehab to get her visa today. Images thanks to Splash.

Whoever said Lindsay Lohan was desperate for money had no idea what they were talking about. There have been rumors that she’s selling her clothes, has been put on a shopping budget, and totes around some Ariva nicotine gum all the time, all in order to make some cash. Lohan was never exactly one of the highest paid actresses in Hollywood, and lives a much fancier lifestyle than her crappy “talent” allows. Although all the other rumors have been quashed, publishing powerhouse Simon & Schuster has confirmed that they’ve paid Lindsay Lohan $2 million for her autobiography.

Lindsay Lohan knows how to strike a business deal. Publisher Simon & Schuster confirmed they have paid $2million for her autobiography.

To make what the money’s worth, Simon & Schuster has asked Lindsay to spill the beans on her relationship with Jude Law, with whom she was romantically linked last summer.

The former child star will also explain her rocky relationship with her parents.

[From Pop Hustle]

I love the idea of Lindsay Lohan writing anything longer than her weekly drug mule shopping list. Has anyone ever heard the girl speak? She’s a moron. Not just for her life decisions (though those certainly back up my point). But just listening to her speak is incredibly painful. I wonder how much Simon & Schuster is paying Lindsay’s ghost writer? I can’t imagine her being able to write one single page of her own book. In fact I can’t imagine that Lindsay Lohan would even consider reading a book for less than $50,000.

Update by JayBird: We’re a little suspect of this story now, and are waiting to hear back from Simon & Schuster’s reps.

Update by Celebitchy: Simon and Schuster’s communications director has not yet responded to our request for comment, but Cindy Adams reports today in the NY Post that this rumor is true, according to Lohan’s father Michael. There is no monetary amount given for the deal. She writers “Now her father tells me 21-year-old Lindsay has signed with Simon & Schuster to tell her own life about her own addictions in her own words in her own way her own self. ” What’s more is that Lohan’s father is predictably writing his own book about Lindsay.

Picture Note by JayBird: Here’s Lindsay Lohan arriving for dinner at Katsuya restaurant in Hollywood. Thanks for hiding behind your bag so we don’t need to see so much of your face Lindsay. Images thanks to Splash.

I knew there was a reason we’ve actively ignored “The Hills” reality star Heidi Montag and her preening TV “fiancé”, Spencer Pratt, up until now. They really are as hollow and superficial as they look.

Could this music video get any more cliche? It’s so bad I’m inclined to think it’s a joke.
Beach scene - check
Frolicking in the water in clinging white garment - check
Rolling around on the sand in bikini - check
Remastered vocals on top of generic pop song - check

This video makes Paris Hilton’s “Stars are Blind” look like a masterpiece.

Unsurprisingly, it’s directed by her ever-present fiancé/boyfriend, Spencer Pratt.

And here’s “behind the scenes” footage which just shows Spencer taping and isn’t worth watching. There is a moment near the end with a guy trying to fish while they’re taping who doesn’t even bother to glance at them:

Thanks to Us Weekly for linking this.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are shown at the Cloverfield premiere on 1/16/08, thanks to PRPhotos.

Jessica Alba Hates Weddings & Cool Kids [Dlisted]
Damon Dash’s Tribeca condo is for sale for $7.9 mil: [Bossip]
Has Sight But Lacks Vision: “The Eye” review [Pajiba]
Michael Rapaport with spaghetti hanging out of his mouth at Mauro’s Cafe in Hollywood [Celebslam]
Sophia Bush At Fashion Week [I’m Not Obsessed]
Adriana Lima @ Victoria’s Secret Super Bowl VIP Salon [The Bastardly]
Anna Friel to star opposite Will Ferrell in new comedy [In Case You Didn’t Know]
Alessandra Ambrosio is Pregnant on the Set of Her Lingerie Photoshoot (Site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
Posh Killed the Spice Girls [Hollywood Rag]
John Travolta: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Gratuitous Insincere Tom Cruise Photo Of The Day [Agent Bedhead]
Gisele Bundchen surfs through the disappointment [The Blemish]
Paris Hilton Asleep at the Wheel [CityRag]
Nic Cage Invented The Internet [Crazy Days and Nights]
Lindsay’s New Boy Has It All Worked Out With Ali & Dina [Popsugar]
Halle Berry’s B.A.P.s [CelebNewsWire]
Today in Leggings Lohan [Evil Beet]
Celebs work the runway for The Heart Truth Red Dress Collection 08, Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in NYC [Gabsmash]
Wino Out and About [CelebWarship]
Fashion Week Strikes Again [Glitterati Gossip]
Courtney Cox-Arquette and Coco Visit Laura Dern & Ben Harper [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Hannah Montana Scores Superbowl Weekend at the Box Office [A Socialite’s Life]
Minka Kelly @ NY Fashion Week [Just Jared]
Mandy Moore is Back: Slim, Curvy, and Busty [Egotastic!]
Anthony Banderas attends father’s funeral [Lifeline Live]
The 10 Dumbest Ad Slogans Of All Time [Best Week Ever]