Here is a post devoted solely to the hot man meat (and some “mystery meat” too) of last night’s BAFTAs – I‘ve already covered my main man Michael Fassbender here. Let’s just start with Brad Pitt, just because. Brad was there solo, so he doesn’t get an entire post devoted to himself. Angelina Jolie stayed behind in Berlin, apparently, schmoozing and hanging out with Luc Besson. Brad looked nice – I mean, the man knows how to wear a suit, and he takes the time and effort to get stuff tailored. I’m sure Tom Ford (and I have no idea if this suit is Tom Ford, I’m just saying this for emphasis) has Brad’s measurements written in stone somewhere, so it’s easy for Brad to look good. He should have given that coat to Jessica Chastain, though.

I’m doing this no particular order, so please don’t yell at me and claim I’m trying to say Tom Hiddleston is the next hottest guy. He isn’t. I don’t get the Hiddleston love, but enjoy.

Ralph Fiennes does not look good here. Whenever I see a man with this kind of overwhelming beard, they remind me of my Indian relations. Yes, Ralph looks vaguely Indian to me here. Getting hot for him feels incestuous, that’s what I’m saying.

Jean Dujardin and his wife – she’s really pretty. I like Dujardin a lot, but he doesn’t always photograph that well in still pictures.

Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe – I was going to say they both looked kind of rough, but who am I kidding? I would hit it with either of them. Or both.

Jon Hamm is another one that doesn’t always photograph well. I love him to death, but he looks his age and in some photos, he was looking haggard. Ugh, I need Mad Men. NOW!

Colin Firth and Livia – Livia is so gorgeous, I forget to look at Colin. I love them together, though. So elegant, so classy.

The Cloonster also went solo last night. Maybe he and Brad had it planned that way the whole time!

The sheer fact that Gary Oldman’s wife is so amazingly gorgeous (and young) makes me think Gary has it going on in the bedroom. So… that’s sexy.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I’d like to thank CB so much for allowing my public Michael Fassbender-obsession to flourish. She’s all “meh” on him, but she always lets me write about him to my heart’s content. Well, we have lots of new Fassy photos from the weekend, so you know I had to devote a post solely to my love.

Fassbender started the weekend off in Ireland, where he attended the Irish Film and Television Awards on Friday (I think?). His dates for the evening? His parents, Adele and Josef Fassbender! Joseph is German, of course. Adele is Irish and suffering from bangs trauma. When Michael and I marry, I will give Mother Adele a makeover. Is that harsh? We’ll deal with it as a family, with love. Anyway, Michael won Best Actor! HUZZAH. He won for Shame, of course. I believe this is his second Irish Film Award – he won for Hunger as well. The photos of Fassy in a formal tux are from the Irish Awards.

Then, last night, Michael was at the BAFTAs, where he was also up for Best Actor for Shame. He lost to Jean Dujardin, though. Boo! I mean, I like Dujardin a lot. But I want someone else to win the big awards. Michael also brought his parents along to the BAFTAs too. Those are the photos where Fassy is wearing a three-piece suit and tie, all by Armani. Funny story about Fassy’s clothes – he signed on to Livia Firth’s (Colin Firth’s wife) red carpet eco-challenge – Fassy’s Armani suit was made from “organic wool with accents in recycled plastic bottles.” Livia is so smart. She’s all, “Colin, do you have Michael Fassbender’s phone number? I need to talk to him about his pants… I mean, his suit. And his dong – I mean, pants!” I like that Bafta look so much more than his tux – the tux doesn’t fit him correctly, and he’s swimming in it.

Sigh… and there goes another episode of “Kaiser is obsessed with Michael Fassbender and she’ll use any excuse to talk about him.” He’s so beautiful. I love him so much.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Octavia Spencer is probably a shoe-in for Best Supporting Actress, as she’s won consistently this season and also took home the BAFTA last night. I can’t say her fashion was a hit, though. She wore her favorite designer, Tadashi Shoji. Instead of opting for a draped gown as we’ve come to expect from her she switched it up in this bizarre feather skirt and shirt dress shirt combo with a patent belt. I like her earrings, hair and makeup. There are just too many feathers going on in the bottom half.

Viola Davis was elegant in a pink one-shoulder Valentino gown with a thigh high slit and an understated bow detail at the waist. That is a well tailored gown with such a beautiful cut. She has the opposite problem as Octavia, though. She’s well dressed but her sparkly blue makeup looks clownish and her hair is all over the place. She’s had great styling in the past so let’s hope she gets it right at the Oscars.

Let’s start this BAFTA fashion post with Penelope Cruz. I was going to start with Michelle Williams, but I fell asleep just looking at photos of her. So here’s Penelope in Armani Prive, in a brilliant, rich red. I love the color – I love the color ON HER. But this is the weirdest dress – I really like the dress from the front, and I loathe it from the side and from the back. From the back, this Armani flattens her ass, right? And from the side, you see how bizarre the cut is at the top. I like straight lines in dresses – I get so tired of sweetheart necklines, I can’t even begin to describe it. While I’m board for the straight, raised bust line, I could do without the mirror effect in the back. It just looks weird. Also: her hair? I’ve never liked her with those little bangs, and I don’t feel any different today.

Helena Bonham Carter in Giles Deacon. I was looking at the fabric close up, and it’s quite lovely. But the dress in total is bad, and it sucks on HBC. But mostly it’s just boring, right? I feel like she wears a version of this dress all the time.

Here’s Jessica Chastain in Oscar de la Renta. Beautiful dress – a dress that would have been AMAZING at the Oscars. For the BAFTAs? I feel like we’re watching her freeze to death. I’m not thinking about how great she looks, I’m just worried that she’s going to lose some toes.

Christina Ricci in Givenchy. Nice metallic, pretty dress, bad bangs and much, much too skinny. You can see her pointy hip bone through the dress.

Michelle Williams in zzzzzz…… what? She’s wearing H&M. I’ll be nice – I’m glad she didn’t wear a pastel. I’m glad her dress wasn’t all-white or all-cream. I’m glad she’s not telegraphing her second virginity through fashion. I’m glad the dress doesn’t look like something she stole from Matilda. But this is totally boring.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I watched most of the Grammys – I turned it off after Adele performed “Rolling In the Deep” and I switched the channel when Chris Brown performed early in the evening. Note to Grammy producers: you’re going to put a woman-beater on your show before 9 pm? There are still kids watching at that point! Anyway, I did miss Jennifer Hudson’s tribute to Whitney, but luckily I caught up with it this morning. I think the producers did find the right tone with Whitney Houston’s – and LL Cool J as host really helped out. I wasn’t offended by LL offering a prayer to Whitney’s family and loved ones at the beginning of the show – it seemed authentic and kind, and it still felt like a celebration of music and… like, a joyful wake. LL said in part, “There’s no way around this. We’ve had a death in our family, and so at least for me – for me – the only thing that feels right is to begin with a prayer for a woman we loved, for our fallen sister, Whitney Houston. Whitney, we will always love you. And we’ll remember you the best way we know how – with a song.”

Anyway, here’s J-Hud’s performance of “I Will Always Love You” which came towards the end of the show:

Beautiful, right? I think it would have been cool if Dolly Parton – who wrote “I Will Always Love You” – had come on to honor Whitney in some way, I think J-Hud’s performance was lovely and respectful. She sang it with Whitney’s arrangement style, but Jennifer avoided “mimicking” Whitney’s voice. It was powerful.

Screencaps from the CBS video.

Kate Moss covers the March 2012 issue of W Magazine, and these are some selected images from the cover shoot – you can see the full slideshow here at W. She got TWO covers actually, although I have only three words for this Steven Klein shoot: What. The. Frick. In God’s name, WHY? While I’ve never been all-about-Kate, I think she’s rock-and-roll and I think she’s one hell of a model. As in, she’s intriguing and interesting to look at, and she’s incredibly photogenic. This photo shoot is filled with a strange blend of religious and sacrilegious imagery, birds, spiders and corpse styling, and it’s maybe the worst Kate has ever looked, right? Yes, the images are “striking”. The last images of Lindsay Lohan are “striking” as well, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to slap the “supermodel” label on a walking corpse.

Of course, W Magazine didn’t get an interview with Moss. Instead, W got Will Self to write this oddly sycophantic piece about Kate and how she’s aging yet not-aging. You can read it here – I’m not going to bother excerpting it. I will, however, put up some quotes from angry Christians who are royally pissed off with this photo shoot:

While the Kate Moss-W Magazine photos are a hit with aspiring fashionistas, they have caused outrage among conservative groups, RadarOnline.com can exclusively reveal.

“Clearly W magazine needs to generate some controversy to pretend it matters, so it’s turned to today’s standby and decided to bash Christianity,” Dan Gainor of the Culture and Media Institute exclusively told RadarOnline.com.

“Everything W has done here, from making the issue the ‘Fashion Bible’ to having Moss hold a crucifix provocatively between her legs, is designed to provoke controversy and mock religion. We get it, hating Christians is certainly in fashion.

“Interestingly, W tried to create twin covers showing a good and a bad Kate Moss. Given how twisted W is for mocking religion, they should have stuck to just one cover — the bad — to reflect the magazine itself. While Moss can be faulted for appearing in this spread, it’s the responsibility of the magazine’s editors not to try to profit by denigrating faith. Instead of high-brow fashion, readers get low-brow bigotry,” he concluded.

[From Radar]

You know how dumb I am? I didn’t even get the whole “fashion bible” reference until that Radar thing. Anyway, even though I’m not going to get all up in arms over the religious stuff in the shoot, I do understand why these photos have upset the devout. Mostly the pics just upset me aesthetically, though. They made her look like crap!

Photos courtesy of W Magazine’s slideshow.

At the Grammys last night, Katy Perry and her massive rack walked the red carpet in rather uncharacteristic fashion; that is, she was covered up in a pale blue Elle Saab couture dress that would’ve been positively glamorous and appropriate on a smaller-chested woman. However, Katy’s rack refuses to be tamed and is hanging out there regardless. Not that I’m saying that there’s anything wrong with large boobs (or I’d be speaking out against my own, which already annoy me to no end), but Katy should’ve at least worn a proper bra here. Hell, maybe she actually is wearing a good bra, and this dress just wasn’t made for her body type — it does look like it’s taking quite a strain in the boob area.

Katy also paired the blue dress with her preexisting electric blue hair (with faux-dark roots), electric pink lipstick, and too much fake tanner. The overall effect is quite cheap, but that’s the general Katy Perry vibe anyway, so at least she scores some points for consistency.

Then there was Katy’s performance, which started out with an imitation Perry (so obvious) giving a rendition of “E.T.” before the power went out. Shocking! Of course, the real Katy (if there is one) was dangling far above the stage and prepared to unleash her new single, “Part of Me,” which seemed specifically chosen to point a glaring finger in the direction of one Russell Brand (who was probably at home and either rolling his eyes or doing yoga). This morning, Kaiser and I were discussing the awfulness of Katy’s lyrics, and Kaiser (rightfully) thinks Katy’s playing the post-divorce game by metaphorically shouting, “Sisterhood, I was used by a bad man!” Such a classic pity game. Now because I enjoy making fun of Katy’s lyrics, here are some of the original lyrics to “Part of Me”:

“You chewed me up and spit me out. Like I was poison in your mouth.

“Now look at me, I’m sparkling. A firework, a dancing flame. You won’t ever put me out again. I’m glowing, oh woah oh. You can keep the dog from me I never liked him anyway. In fact you can keep everything. Yeah, yeah. Except for me.”

Except that during this Grammy performance, Katy changed the “dog” line to “So you can keep your diamond ring, it don’t mean nothing anyway.” Yep, this is the chick that signed her divorce papers with a heart and a happy face. Yet I will say that Katy’s body looked pretty amazing onstage:

Also and just as a reminder, Russell didn’t take “everything” from Katy except maybe a chunk of her ego, which will bounce back in no time. He certainly didn’t take any of her money, and now TMZ has a new update to that story too:

Katy Perry and Russell Brand never entertained the idea of signing a prenup — and if they could do it all over again … they wouldn’t have changed a thing, sources close to the couple tell TMZ.

According to sources, Katy and Russell’s marriage happened so fast, they never really had the opportunity to summon their lawyers and hash out a prenup … nor did either really believe they needed one.

We’re told both felt comfortable one wouldn’t screw the other in the event of a divorce — they both knew where the other person stood on money, life, religion … everything.

TMZ broke the story … Russell refused to accept $20 million of Katy’s money he was entitled to as part of the divorce — exactly half the money she made during the course of their marriage.

Sources tell us, Russell was never a materialistic person and never spent much — he never got into entertainment for the money.

As one source put it, “Russell is a very simple person who doesn’t need much to make him happy.”

The source adds, “He would never take money that [Katy] earned. That’s not Russell. And if it was the other way around, Katy wouldn’t have taken it either. They respect each other too much.”

Where is Hollywood and what have you done with it?!?!

[From TMZ]

Isn’t it amusing how both Katy and Russell apparently knew “everything” about each other before marriage except that they were totally wrong for each other as a couple? And let’s not get into “respect” when Katy is clearly trashing Russell at the Grammys. Still, I can buy the part about Russell not being into money, for he even admits that he doesn’t entertain for the cash but for the associated notoriety. As he states in Booky Wook 2, “Without fame my whole persona doesn’t make sense. Without fame my haircut just looks like mental illness.” This totally gels with Russell’s public portrayal of himself; over the weekend, he was even photographed barefoot in the street while walking to his car. Yet he took great care to don one of his dodgy scarves. Priorities, people.

Now back to Katy and her (probably) teenaged fans:

Photos courtesy of WENN

God, I love Adele. I was so happy for her last night. The Adele-centric evening started with her interview on 60 Minutes, which was absolutely charming. She cussed up a storm, she showed Anderson Cooper around her barely furnished house, she challenged him (“Do you have a pool?”), she sang to him, and she cracked him up. I love her Cockney accent. I love her spirit. I love HER!!!!

And then right after that, the Grammys started and it was clear that Adele was the girl of the moment. LL Cool J referenced Adele at the very start of the show, and it just felt like everyone knew it was her night. Lady Gaga seemed subdued. Beyonce didn’t even show up. Katy Perry and Rihanna both seemed to put on their professional faces and cheer Adele on. Shall we talk about Adele’s fashion? Her dress is Armani – it’s okay. I think she probably just wanted to wear something comfortable and flattering, and didn’t care if it was fashion-forward. It seemed too obvious though – put the “big girl” in a long-sleeved black sack. As for her voice and her performance – here’s the video:

Beautiful. Her go-to song for all of her awards show performances last year was “Someone Like You” so it was good to hear her do “Rolling in the Deep”. I loved that she got a standing ovation, and everyone paid homage to her wonderful talent. And of course, Adele swept!!!!

It was an emotional night at the Grammy Awards, as the music world mourned the loss of a once-bright star yet celebrated the emergence – or rather, re-emergence – of one of its most dazzling young talents.

Adele’s domination of the 54th Annual Grammy Awards – she went six for six, winning everything for which she was nominated, including song, record and album of the year – allowed the industry to think of the future, not just the past. And it was particularly resonant given the British singer’s frightening trouble with her vocal chords over the past year.

“Mum, I love you. I’m so sorry you’re not here,” the singer, 23, said through sobs in accepting the album of the year award at the end of the night, her tears signaling relief as much as joy.

Her album, 21, was “inspired by something that is really normal and everyone’s been through it, which is a rubbish relationship,” she added. “And it’s gone on to do things that … I can’t tell you how I feel about it. It’s been the most life-changing year.”

Adele also dazzled at the show with her performance of “Rolling in the Deep,” her first major public singing engagement since having throat surgery for a hemorrhaged vocal chord.

She won best new artist and best female pop vocal performance at the 2009 Grammys, but Sunday was her true coronation – a great story on a night when her industry most needed one.

[From People]

YAAAAAYYY!!!!! Come on, y’all. Let her have her moment. Let it be all about Adele right now, you know?

Photos courtesy of WENN and Fame/Flynet.

Ah, Rihanna. I have to admit, this is my style. If I looked like Rihanna, or had that kind of slim, small-busted, model-y figure, I would wear dresses like this all of the time. I love the simplicity of it. I love that it’s sexy but not in-your-face. I love that it’s also one of the classier and most elegant things Rihanna has ever worn. Allegedly, she worked with Armani to create this dress, which I find hard to believe. I mean, she’s the face of Armani, and obviously they want to please her. But I don’t believe Armani didn’t have a very similar dress in their archives, you know? I even like Rihanna’s blonde hair, but only in comparison to how bad her hair has been in the past. This is a really great look for her, and I hope it stays for a while.

As for Rihanna’s performances… I don’t even know. First she “sang” her own song, “We Found Love” – but as was made clear very quickly, she was lip-syncing. Did you notice that? She didn’t have the mic to her mouth at several points and you could still hear the vocals. After that, she changed mics I guess, and she joined Chris Martin for a simple version of “Princess of China”. You can really hear the difference between Rihanna’s voice live on that song versus her pre-recorded voice on “We Found Love”. Now, I thought Coldplay’s performance of “Paradise” was really, really good. Here’s the video of all of it:

21221225635 by YardieGoals

Right? Why go to the Grammys if you’re not going to actually SING your own song? And those booty shorts looked super-uncomfortable. Like, that cameltoe was painful.

And here are some other pics – I’m only putting up these photos of Adam Levine and his girlfriend Anne V because her dress is sort of similar to Rihanna’s Armani. I think Anne’s biscuit-grazer dress is a version of the Anthony Vaccarello one Gwyneth Paltrow wore on the cover of the March issue of Harper’s Bazaar, correct? Anne V and Adam were reportedly having problems a few weeks ago, but I guess they’re still together. Good for them, I guess.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Well, I guess we have to give Taylor Swift some credit. I feel like she’s been listening to some of our style criticisms of her, and this is how she answered. Swifty did not wear a prom dress, nor a wedding dress, nor something that made me think “how virginal.” Her Grammy dress was not a pastel. It was not white. It was not made of lace (sort of). It was not “precious”. Now, was this Zuhair Murad gown GOOD? Not really. I like the idea of Swifty graduating to metallics, but this feels like the busted cousin of one of her usual sparkly, lacy prom dresses. The effect with the sheer fabric on her chest is especially bad! That being said, I’m okay with everything from the waist down. The bottom of the dress is interesting.

Oh, and I really, really dislike Swifty’s hair here, but once again, I think I have to give her credit for changing it up. She didn’t do a curly frizz, she didn’t do giant bangs, she didn’t do sleek. She went for a simply, uncomplicated bun – but it just doesn’t suit her face. She looks particularly crazy-eyed this way. As for Swifty’s performance of “Mean”… I found it boring. That “country” stuff seems like a shtick for her at this point.

It struck me as I was watching the first hour of the Grammys – how perfect would it be if Swifty (the tall girl) ended up with Bruno Mars (the short guy)? Think about it – they would be super-cute together!!!!!! I can’t help it, I think Bruno is adorable, and I hope he got even more fans last night with his performance. I want him with Swifty.

Photos courtesy of WENN.